Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - Fan Edit Ideas thread... — Page 9

MalàStrana said:

TV’s Frink said:

Total ANH rehash.

You’ve become so predictable, always rehashing the same forced sarcasm about Disney’s movies blatant issues. Get over it dude…

…

I sincerely hope you’re joking.

Or that you see the irony.

Also, side note; I would actually want to remove the sequence with the little girl during the Jehda City siege. In the whole movie that was the only cliché that made me groan a bit. We don’t need that to tell us that Jyn’s a good person at heart. It comes across through the rest of the film just fine.

Through a couple viewings, I think it could be pretty easy; change the reaction shots out so it looks like she gets the idea to huddle against the tank to get some shots in, and make it look like that’s what Cassian is advising her against.

The only other thing I’d like to try is taking some of the music out. I think the scene with her atop the spire would play way better silent than with the score that’s there now.

Vladius said:

Tack said:
Also, side note; I would actually want to remove the sequence with the little girl during the Jehda City siege. In the whole movie that was the only cliché that made me groan a bit. We don’t need that to tell us that Jyn’s a good person at heart. It comes across through the rest of the film just fine.

That’s actually one of the best parts of the movie, for me. Jyn has such limited character development, and that’s part of it.
*It shows the trauma of war.
*It shows part of why Saw’s rebels are considered radicals - they don’t care about collateral damage.
*There’s not actually a lot establishing that Jyn is a good person up to that point.
*Jyn has wide eyes, partially out of surprise and concern, but also because she identifies with the little girl - abandoned (twice) as a child in the middle of a war.
*It’s sadder when the Death Star blows up Jedha City later, because we see some of its civilians as well as its fighters. It also builds the scope and threat of the Death Star - even if you save individual people, shoot stormtroopers, and do important things, it can all be wiped away in an instant.

You certainly make a better case for it. I guess my main anger was at its clichéd use I’ve seen in other films. It definitely has no real effect on my enjoyment on the film as a whole; it should just say something that in the whole film that was one of my only real gripes.

You were right the first time Tack the cleche bit of Jyn rescuing the little girl has gotta go.
Worse than that is gurerra and his gasmask.

I have also been thinking of real ordering the beginning
Crawl
Krennick visits vader at his hizzo.
Fear of death has him find Orso
Jyn hides and when she fiddles for the lamp she has her flashback (just the part where she lives as an imperial) gurerra gets her out of tunnel
Cassian shoots his snitch
Cargo pilot surrenders himself on jedah
Jyn wakes up on prisoner transport

Hoping for deleted scenes

Would like to replace a lot of music with the shadows of the Empire soundtrack

In terms of plotting, how about starting the movie on Jedha, with Bodhi surrendering to and then meeting Saw? That’s the impetus for what gets Cassian and the Rebellion to Jyn, Jedha, and learning about the Death Star, so why not have it be the opening? Then we can have Cassian learning about it after the titles, then we meet Jyn, bring her to Yavin, brief her, etc. Cut out Bor Gullet. And then we can have the Erso opening somehow edited into the flashback Jyn has.

i re-did the opening title cards with new music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=878xGMyjHPA

Jackpumpkinhead said:

i re-did the opening title cards with new music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=878xGMyjHPA

Quality work Jack - and nice re-working to include the Imperial March, which suits a more ‘punchy’ opening when compared with the film opening title sequence actually used.

Personally I’d like to see the something like the crawl from the Rogue One crawl from Celebration 2016 used (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9BuyiFvLJA) - without the ‘Episode IV’ and ‘A New Hope’ titles obviously 😉

Then at the end of the crawl, emerges a R1 logo title likes the ones you did (I imagine one of the brighter yellow titles will be a better ‘fit’ or ‘match-up’ more)? and then the film begins…

Just my two-penneth (apologies if it’s already been discussed to death) - am looking forward to seeing these various R1 Edits when finished 😃

a few interesting videos compiled by a fan (john4real on youtube) using scenes from the various trailers, promos and adverts for Rogue One - hopefully it may be of use for ideas and inspiration for the talented fan editors out there…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mPzBKG8wyE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucrzV4AY9qI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYWJnKzXK0g

Jackpumpkinhead said:

i re-did the opening title cards with new music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=878xGMyjHPA

Visually, I think a new title card would be great. I liked the last one you used, but I would prefer something that said ROGUE ONE, and then underneath, “A Star Wars Story.”

Regarding the music, I’m going to have to disagree here. The theme that plays on the Rogue One title card is, in fact, the Rogue One theme — it is played at a few important times in the film, and I really don’t think it should be removed from the title card.

Just my two cents.

The Aluminum Falcon said:

Possibly also remove “A long time ago…”

Absolutely not.

Every piece of Star Wars media — the video games, the novels, the comics, you name it — has had “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”

The fact that Rogue One didn’t have an opening crawl was an insult enough, but I got over it. Getting rid of “A long time ago” would be an insult to the franchise.

I’m going to be making a crawl for Rogue One and I’m very curious if I should have the title text above the main body read just “ROGUE ONE” , or if I should have “A STAR WARS STORY” beneath it. I think I’m leaning towards it just reading “ROGUE ONE”.

darthrush said:

I’m going to be making a crawl for Rogue One and I’m very curious if I should have the title text above the main body read just “ROGUE ONE” , or if I should have “A STAR WARS STORY” beneath it. I think I’m leaning towards it just reading “ROGUE ONE”.

I’d opt for having just ‘Rogue One’ on it - more in keeping with the original Star Wars film back in the day 😉

and good luck with it mate

edit - something which may be of interest to you - Gary Whitta with a few details on the crawl he wrote…

http://www.slashfilm.com/rogue-one-opening-crawl/

I say all of this without having seen the film in 3 months but:

Those that said to start the film with the Death Star completion are brilliant. That’s the ominous, space visual that ‘feels’ like Star Wars. I still think the opening scenes establishing Jyn, her father and Saw aren’t needed. That is what the crawl is for. I don’t need to see the shot of Obi-Wan dropping Luke off at the Lars Homestead to make ANH work.

If you want to include any of that scene, use it the same way it was done with Anakin’s foreshadowing in EPIII. Have small snippets of blurred dream effect(her mother giving her the necklace, her mother being shot by Krennic, Jyn screaming) and then have Jyn wakeup with the fading sound of her father calling her ‘Stardust’.

I would put a lot of the exposition of the Erso story that is in the first act in the crawl, as well.
----Crawl----
ROGUE ONE

A galaxy in terror! The GALACTIC EMPIRE’s grip
on the galaxy has never been tighter. Those who
stand opposed to their tyranny, the REBEL ALLIANCE,
have learned the EMPIRE has developed a new super weapon
under the guidance of scientist GALEN ERSO.

In a race against time, the REBELLION must find ERSO’s
lost daughter in hopes she has information on his work.
Following the murder of her mother by DIRECTOR KRENNIC,
the young ERSO was raised by the extremist SAW GUERRERA.

The REBELLION has sent their best spy to track her down
to reunite her with GUERRERA and her father as she may
be their LAST HOPE…

Keep in mind that we don’t see Luke in ANH until after Leia has been established (with Vader) and the droids have been on their voyage. I would remove all planet title cards and then place things in this order (as best I can remember now):

Crawl
Pan into shot of Death Star completion
Initial scene with Tarkin/Krennic
Cassian and the spy scene
Bodhi surrendering to Saw’s men
Jyn’s dream (short) with her waking up in prison
Film continues on pretty much as originally filmed

That should clean up the pacing and make the first act feel more traditional Star Wars.