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The Force Awakens : Fan Edit Ideas — Page 7

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 (Edited)

Addition to wish list:

  • When Han and Chewie has boarded the Falcon, somehow, somewhere add Han saying this line about it off-camera.
    Indiana Jones reference done. No need for Rathars.
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oojason said:

^^ in the ops room on D’Qar with many of the Resistance around the holo-table…

POE: The scan data from Snap’s reconnaissance flight confirms Finn’s report.

SNAP WEXLEY: They’ve somehow created a hyperlight speed weapon built within the planet itself.

YOUNG OFFICER: a laser cannon?

SNAP WEXLEY: We’re not sure how to describe a weapon of this scale…

MAJOR EMATT: It’s another Death Star!

POE: I wish that were the case, Major. This was the Death Star… (a hologram of the Death Star appears, then Starkiller Base appears next to it - dwarfing it in size) … and this is Starkiller Base…

(gasps from many of the people in the room)

HAN: So… it’s big.

ACKBAR: How is it possible to power a weapon of that size?

FINN: It uses the power of the Sun - as the weapon is charged the Sun is drained until it disappears…

Leia receives notice that they are the next target, and the weapon is already charging - the group then come up with the plan to destroy Starkiller Base…

Sure, but I wish that it could be edited to make it seem like they take down superweapons every other week. “ANOTHER planet destroyed? Is it the thing where it shakes the planet apart with giant walker things? Oh, it’s a hyperspace weapon, that’s different at least.”

And I was mostly joking.

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😃 I’ve no idea on Young Officer’s name, but glad he’s making a big impression 😉

Think there may be some deleted scenes from the Resistance ops room - hopefully they’ll make it to dvd and be of use for the Editors on here. Maybe a line of dialogue inserted from the other 6 films may also do the trick?

Main thing I’d be interested in seeing done well in an Edit would be how to ‘fix’ the scene where Leia ignores Chewy (after Chewy and Rey return from the mission that Han has just died on), and Leia just hugs Rey instead…

A little patience goes a long way on this old-school Rebel base. If you are having issues finding what you are looking for, these will be of some help…

Welcome to the OriginalTrilogy.com | Introduce yourself in here | Useful info within : About : Help : Site Rules : Fan Project Rules : Announcements
How do I do this?’ on the OriginalTrilogy.com; some info & answers + FAQs - includes info on how to search for projects and threads on the OT•com

A Project Index for Star Wars Preservations (Harmy’s Despecialized & 4K77/80/83 etc) : A Project Index for Star Wars Fan Edits (adywan & Hal 9000 etc)

… and take your time to look around this site before posting - to get a feel for this place. Don’t just lazily make yet another thread asking for projects.

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Someone should edit it so that Han shoots at Kylo Ren and misses before Kylo stabs him. We wouldn’t want Kylo to come off as a cold blooded killer who would kill someone before being fired at would we?

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Darth Lucas said:

Someone should edit it so that Han shoots at Kylo Ren and misses before Kylo stabs him. We wouldn’t want Kylo to come off as a cold blooded killer who would kill someone before being fired at would we?

I got really mad at this post before actually thinking about it…

No offense, kid, but I don’t think you know how to boil water.

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darth_ender said:

NeverarGreat said:

Let’s rewrite that bloated crawl!
From my thread in the Scriptwriting subforum:

EPISODE VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS

Luke Skywalker, the last Jedi, has vanished.
In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER
has risen from the ashes of the fallen Empire.

To counter this deadly threat, the Republic
mobilizes a covert RESISTANCE led by
General Leia Organa, to gather allies from
the farthest reaches of the galaxy.

As the FIRST ORDER prepares a crippling
blow to the Republic, its dark forces gather
above the graveyard planet of Jakku…

I like this crawl. Succinct but revealing more information.

Here is my go. Bear in mind, I’m attempting to reveal several more details, but keep it concise. I have a feeling it’s still too long, but take a look:

The democratic NEW REPUBLIC rules with a just hand. But from the ashes of the evil Galactic Empire, the FIRST ORDER has arisen, its strongholds hidden among the recesses of the Unknown Regions.

This new Order, determined to restore the glory of the Empire, have secretly poured resources into a new weapon of rerror: the Starkiller!

General Leia Organa leads a brave RESISTANCE to combat such evil. With little support from the Reupublic, Leia is desperate to find her missing brother Luke Skywalker. She has dispatched her most daring pilot on a secret mission to Jakku, where a group of Force worshipers may hold a clue to Master Skywalker’s whereabouts…

The advantages of this crawl include: a) greater distinction between the Republic and the Resistance, and make the situation appear more dire for the latter; b) allusions to the otherwise surprising DS3; c) explaining why the First Order is still a force to be reckoned with; d) containing most of the same info as the original crawl; e) perhaps explaining why Jakku holds any clues at all; f) its consistent with the background designed for the world building, but not revealed in the film itself.

The disadvantage is that to include so much information, it can make for some clunky wording and an overly long crawl. I’m interested to read others’ thoughts on the matter.

I agree that the Starkiller should be mentioned by name in the crawl. Here’s an updated version:

The galaxy is in crisis.
With no Jedi to resist it,
a tyrannical First Order
has risen from the ashes
of the Empire to threaten
the fledgling Republic.

As the Republic hastens
to form a Resistance led
by General Leia Organa,
the First Order prepares
to destroy the Republic
once and for all with a
lethal secret weapon,
the STARKILLER.

Desperate for allies,
Leia has sent a pilot
to the war-torn planet
of Jakku to learn the
location of the Jedi
while dark forces
gather far above…

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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TavorX said:

Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, the sinister
FIRST ORDER has risen
from the ashes of the Empire
and will not rest until Skywalker, the last Jedi,
has been destroyed.

General Leia Organa, leader of the RESISTANCE,
struggles to gain support from the REPUBLIC
to oppose those that seek chaos.
Fearing the fate of the galaxy,
she is desperate to find Luke in order to restore peace and justice.

Ace pilot of the Resistance, Poe Dameron, is sent on
a secret mission to Jakku, where an old ally
has discovered the possible whereabouts of
the last Jedi . . . .

Bolded parts are the lines I changed.

Thoughts?

“Let me give you the 10 peso version…”

TV’s Frink said:

chyron just put a big Ric pic in your sig and be done with it.

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I don’t get it. I mean, I get the Three Amigos reference, but what does it have to do with that crawl?

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TV’s Frink said:

I don’t get it. I mean, I get the Three Amigos reference, but what does it have to do with that crawl?

They changed the originally proposed words to make it more brief.

Okay, so now I’m imagining Kylo Ren going berserk in that one room and killing an invisible swordsman cloaked stormtrooper.

TV’s Frink said:

chyron just put a big Ric pic in your sig and be done with it.

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 (Edited)

TV’s Frink said:

He “changed” three words, but ok.

There are other proposed crawl changes in this thread. Some slightly more verbose, some less. And anyway, as the editor of The Ridiculous Trilogy, you know full well that off the wall humor can pop into one’s head on a whim with just the tiniest of vaguely related references.

TV’s Frink said:

chyron just put a big Ric pic in your sig and be done with it.

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In the briefing I would also add someone question where they get the money to build these things and another ask why it has to be bigger each time and someone make a comment about Snoke’s midlife crisis and underwear size.

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Just in case it hasn’t been mentioned… any Editors could remove from the end credits the mention of the UK Chancellor - George Osbourne - from the film. Someone who cuts the benefits for the sick, disabled and mentally ill, cuts the NHS and other emergency services, cuts the HRMC (tax service) so it’s no longer fit to collect taxes or challenge big business avoiding paying their fair share, whilst the rest of us in the UK face even more cuts doesn’t really deserve to be in the film credits - even if he did give tax breaks to Disney.

Rant over. Sorry.

A little patience goes a long way on this old-school Rebel base. If you are having issues finding what you are looking for, these will be of some help…

Welcome to the OriginalTrilogy.com | Introduce yourself in here | Useful info within : About : Help : Site Rules : Fan Project Rules : Announcements
How do I do this?’ on the OriginalTrilogy.com; some info & answers + FAQs - includes info on how to search for projects and threads on the OT•com

A Project Index for Star Wars Preservations (Harmy’s Despecialized & 4K77/80/83 etc) : A Project Index for Star Wars Fan Edits (adywan & Hal 9000 etc)

… and take your time to look around this site before posting - to get a feel for this place. Don’t just lazily make yet another thread asking for projects.

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oojason said:

Just in case it hasn’t been mentioned… any Editors could remove from the end credits the mention of the UK Chancellor - George Osbourne - from the film. Someone who cuts the benefits for the sick, disabled and mentally ill, cuts the NHS and other emergency services, cuts the HRMC (tax service) so it’s no longer fit to collect taxes or challenge big business avoiding paying their fair share, whilst the rest of us in the UK face even more cuts doesn’t really deserve to be in the film credits - even if he did give tax breaks to Disney.

Rant over. Sorry.

^ THIS comrade 😄

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Bingowings said:

oojason said:

Just in case it hasn’t been mentioned… any Editors could remove from the end credits the mention of the UK Chancellor - George Osbourne - from the film. Someone who cuts the benefits for the sick, disabled and mentally ill, cuts the NHS and other emergency services, cuts the HRMC (tax service) so it’s no longer fit to collect taxes or challenge big business avoiding paying their fair share, whilst the rest of us in the UK face even more cuts doesn’t really deserve to be in the film credits - even if he did give tax breaks to Disney.

Rant over. Sorry.

^ THIS comrade 😄

The proletariat shall be heard, my brother 😉

A little patience goes a long way on this old-school Rebel base. If you are having issues finding what you are looking for, these will be of some help…

Welcome to the OriginalTrilogy.com | Introduce yourself in here | Useful info within : About : Help : Site Rules : Fan Project Rules : Announcements
How do I do this?’ on the OriginalTrilogy.com; some info & answers + FAQs - includes info on how to search for projects and threads on the OT•com

A Project Index for Star Wars Preservations (Harmy’s Despecialized & 4K77/80/83 etc) : A Project Index for Star Wars Fan Edits (adywan & Hal 9000 etc)

… and take your time to look around this site before posting - to get a feel for this place. Don’t just lazily make yet another thread asking for projects.

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Maybe it would work if there was a broadcast that was getting through jamming into the First Order systems.

“The Voice of the Resistance” like this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkGvYcb36hg which was being sent from the Republic capital (like the BBC Empire Service/World Service).

It could be heard in the camps Jakku and maybe by some fluke get picked up by Finn’s helmet speaker.

It could also be broadcasting in the castle when the weapon is fired and then suddenly be cut short.

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The only issue I had with the film was the weird informal nature of the end of the crawl. When it says ‘whereabouts’ - it threw me a little.
Would have been more fitting for it to use the word ‘location’

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Bingowings said:

Maybe it would work if there was a broadcast that was getting through jamming into the First Order systems.

“The Voice of the Resistance” like this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkGvYcb36hg which was being sent from the Republic capital (like the BBC Empire Service/World Service).

It could be heard in the camps Jakku and maybe by some fluke get picked up by Finn’s helmet speaker.

It could also be broadcasting in the castle when the weapon is fired and then suddenly be cut short.

I like this idea. It could be a good hook if you wanted to jump from Jakku to the Resistance base perhaps.

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At the risk of contradicting myself RE ‘references’.
If Starkiller Base is re-purposed planet Naboo is pointedly declared hollow in TPM.
It might be a pointer of how evil these guys are and how screwy Kylo is if he turns the paradise garden planet that serves as his grandmother’s grave into a weapon dedicated to the memory of the man who loved and killed her.
As a edit possibility. Not sure if I like it but clearly some people are okay with that sort of thing.
It could be hinted at by a few Naboo ruins or a Gungan god half buried in the snow.

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Has anyone considered making the Starkiller Base an actual Star Killer? Like a super weapon capable of sucking the life from a Sun, leaving the solar system to freeze in unfathomable darkness?

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person who’s thought of this…

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It’s been mentioned twice by me alone ,the star killing bit not so much the ice machine so yeah you are probably right 😄