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The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!) — Page 22

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Nev, thanks for your responses to my bullets. All clear and interesting. On the Reydream, you say:
“After trying a lot of different approaches to a dream sequence on Jakku, I came to the conclusion that using actual footage of the island was a mistake. At this point in the story Rey should have little to no indication that she is Force sensitive.”

However, we are told in her dialogue (I forget which movie, but it does happen) that she dreams of an island. Explicitly showing her dreaming of an island really doesn’t contradict that. It doesn’t necessarily imply that she’s Force sensitive either, since it’s not confirmed prophecy until she actually goes to Ach-To, which happens after she first actively uses the force.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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We are told in TFA that she imagines an island while trying to sleep, and in TLJ she says that she’s seen the island ‘in dreams’. You’re right that a dream sequence wouldn’t outright contradict anything, but the only prior time in which this type of sequence has been done in Episodic Star Wars has been Anakin and his Force visions. I think there’s a strong assumption in Star Wars that such a sequence would be Force related even if it’s not explicit, and that’s the sort of assumption that I want to stay away from at the beginning of the movie anyway.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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I can’t even tell when I try to look. Well done.

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Nicely done, Neverar - to me that was seamless.

A little patience goes a long way on this old-school Rebel base. If you are having issues finding what you are looking for, these will be of some help…

Welcome to the OriginalTrilogy.com | Introduce yourself in here | Useful info within : About : Help : Site Rules : Fan Project Rules : Announcements
How do I do this?’ on the OriginalTrilogy.com; some info & answers + FAQs - includes info on how to search for projects and threads on the OT•com

A Project Index for Star Wars Preservations (Harmy’s Despecialized & 4K77/80/83 etc) : A Project Index for Star Wars Fan Edits (adywan & Hal 9000 etc)

… and take your time to look around this site before posting - to get a feel for this place. Don’t just lazily make yet another thread asking for projects.

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NeverarGreat said:

More work on removing the Death Star hologram from the planning scene:

https://vimeo.com/323037027

Password: fanedit

It’s not perfect, but if you’re not looking for the change I think it’s fairly seamless.

Nicely done. Do you think the lampshading of there being “another Death Star” isn’t needed?

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 (Edited)

Sir Ridley said:

NeverarGreat said:

More work on removing the Death Star hologram from the planning scene:

https://vimeo.com/323037027

Password: fanedit

It’s not perfect, but if you’re not looking for the change I think it’s fairly seamless.

Nicely done. Do you think the lampshading of there being “another Death Star” isn’t needed?

That’s a part of it. Another thing was brought up by someone here (I forget who), saying that they originally thought that the Starkiller was built within a planet to save cost compared to the Death Star. When they then saw how the Starkiller’s weapon emitter alone was almost the size of the Death Star, it negated that bit of cleverness.

That got me to thinking about how we never saw the Death Star directly compared to the size of a planet in ANH. If it were shown in proportion to Alderaan (assuming it’s an Earth-sized planet), it would be laughably tiny in comparison:

Tiny Star

Even though the audience on some level understands that it’s the size of a very small moon, the way it is portrayed as large and imposing in the shot sells the threat.

Threat level high

So by removing comparisons to any object of reference, it’s easier to imagine the scale of the station to be whatever size makes the most sense for a person’s individual view of the First Order and their abilities.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

I know this is anecdotal, but this reminded me of a dinstinct memory I had from TFA opening night. The line, “This was the Death Star. And THIS is Starkiller Base!” felt so on the nose. Kinda one thing about the movie that makes you roll their eyes, like they’re trying to one-up the Death Star. I figure the writers wanted the audience to know that they were aware of the similarities and wanted to bring that up within the film. Honestly though, I think that just makes it worse. Just let it be its own thing.

I also think the brief pause in dialogue before the hologram pops up helps to make the moment a little more omninous too.

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RogueLeader said:

I figure the writers wanted the audience to know that they were aware of the similarities and wanted to bring that up within the film.

Yep, that’s lampshading. And it very much does not work in this instance IMO.

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ChainsawAsh said:

Yep, that’s lampshading. And it very much does not work in this instance IMO.

Haha, you’re totally right, forgot that’s what that meant!

I know the whole concept is to maintain suspension of disbelief by being meta about it, I just don’t feel like it fits within this story. Like, it can work in certain stories, but I don’t think lampshading is appropriate every time when it can be done, you know?

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RogueLeader said:

ChainsawAsh said:

Yep, that’s lampshading. And it very much does not work in this instance IMO.

Haha, you’re totally right, forgot that’s what that meant!

I know the whole concept is to maintain suspension of disbelief by being meta about it, I just don’t feel like it fits within this story. Like, it can work in certain stories, but I don’t think lampshading is appropriate every time when it can be done, you know?

Lampshading works really well in Marvel movies, since there’s always a wink to the audience as to the silliness of the situation, but I feel like Star Wars is more earnest than that.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

RogueLeader said:

ChainsawAsh said:

Yep, that’s lampshading. And it very much does not work in this instance IMO.

Haha, you’re totally right, forgot that’s what that meant!

I know the whole concept is to maintain suspension of disbelief by being meta about it, I just don’t feel like it fits within this story. Like, it can work in certain stories, but I don’t think lampshading is appropriate every time when it can be done, you know?

Lampshading works really well in Marvel movies, since there’s always a wink to the audience as to the silliness of the situation, but I feel like Star Wars is more earnest than that.

Are you planning to keep Han’s line? “How do we blow it up? There’s always a way to do that.” That could work as a more subtle nod to the previous Death Stars and the line might be funnier if they didn’t compare it to the Death Star already.

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Sir Ridley said:

NeverarGreat said:

RogueLeader said:

ChainsawAsh said:

Yep, that’s lampshading. And it very much does not work in this instance IMO.

Haha, you’re totally right, forgot that’s what that meant!

I know the whole concept is to maintain suspension of disbelief by being meta about it, I just don’t feel like it fits within this story. Like, it can work in certain stories, but I don’t think lampshading is appropriate every time when it can be done, you know?

Lampshading works really well in Marvel movies, since there’s always a wink to the audience as to the silliness of the situation, but I feel like Star Wars is more earnest than that.

Are you planning to keep Han’s line? “How do we blow it up? There’s always a way to do that.” That could work as a more subtle nod to the previous Death Stars and the line might be funnier if they didn’t compare it to the Death Star already.

Yep, and you’re right it might be funnier in this context.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

As you may have noticed from the previous clip, I’ve moved Kylo’s watching of the Starkiller weapon to later, and put some work into Rey’s escape attempts:

https://vimeo.com/323990777

Password: fanedit

The shortened dialogue with Kylo at the end gives some ambiguity as to which sensors were triggered, hopefully lending more tension to Rey’s escape.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

That’s pretty cool! That’s a nice new transition you’ve made, and it sounds good. I also like the quick cut to Kylo Ren’s face and the intense strings, during Rey’s second attempt.

In this version, you do lose that idea you had though about Han and Finn’s arrival distracting Kylo and buying Rey enough time to escape. Although I’m guessing you’re still trying to imply their arrival somehow encouraged Rey to try again, right?

EDIT: Also, nice touch with maintain special continuity by having the room Kylo exits be the observation room through use of the glowing light effect in there. Pretty clever!

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Hal 9000 said:

That’s pretty good! I like how you repurpose the few shots at the beginning that the ‘Restructuring’ had to exclude.

I have vowed never to rest until these shots are returned to the film 😉

RogueLeader said:

That’s pretty cool! That’s a nice new transition you’ve made, and it sounds good. I also like the quick cut to Kylo Ren’s face and the intense strings, during Rey’s second attempt.

In this version, you do lose that idea you had though about Han and Finn’s arrival distracting Kylo and buying Rey enough time to escape. Although I’m guessing you’re still trying to imply their arrival somehow encouraged Rey to try again, right?

It’s true that most of that idea has been lost, but it could still be up to interpretation as to whether or not Rey would have escaped the cell block if Kylo hadn’t been distracted by the Falcon’s arrival. I didn’t intend to imply that Rey could sense the Falcon here, but that is certainly one interpretation. Maybe if there was some dialogue from the Trooper’s intercom to that effect…

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

It’s true that most of that idea has been lost, but it could still be up to interpretation as to whether or not Rey would have escaped the cell block if Kylo hadn’t been distracted by the Falcon’s arrival. I didn’t intend to imply that Rey could sense the Falcon here, but that is certainly one interpretation. Maybe if there was some dialogue from the Trooper’s intercom to that effect…

Oh yeah, maybe that’s where I got that idea from. I think you previously suggested that one could add some com chatter that basically says the same thing the other stormtrooper says to Kylo.

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NeverarGreat said:

ziggyonice said:

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s a more polished version of the scene, with some improved transitions and an edit to the Hux/Snoke dialogue. The rearrangement of the Kylo/Snoke dialogue has been dialed back but still retains the main idea.

This looks good, although (personally) I think the “He means nothing to me” line is too confusing on its own.

I definitely wouldn’t say the earlier Snoke scenes were failures. I really liked how you ended one of them with Snoke calling Kyle Ren “Solo.”

Thanks, I also like that bit and might keep it in the 2nd Snoke scene.
‘He means nothing to me’ is intentionally confusing since we don’t know what it refers to yet. I’ll sit with it for a while in any case.
Brilliant
Speaking of Kylo and Han, I had an idea for their final confrontation that would hopefully give some more depth and emotion to the scene.

https://vimeo.com/319079063

Password: fanedit

Since I’m thinking about cutting a lot of the Han/Leia dialogue about Ben, I thought it might be good to include snippets here, where they essentially act as evidence in Kylo’s final test of his parents. I think Kylo’s twisted ‘Thank you’ is much more meaningful in this context.

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Legacyofajedi said:

NeverarGreat said:

ziggyonice said:

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s a more polished version of the scene, with some improved transitions and an edit to the Hux/Snoke dialogue. The rearrangement of the Kylo/Snoke dialogue has been dialed back but still retains the main idea.

This looks good, although (personally) I think the “He means nothing to me” line is too confusing on its own.

I definitely wouldn’t say the earlier Snoke scenes were failures. I really liked how you ended one of them with Snoke calling Kyle Ren “Solo.”

Thanks, I also like that bit and might keep it in the 2nd Snoke scene.
‘He means nothing to me’ is intentionally confusing since we don’t know what it refers to yet. I’ll sit with it for a while in any case.
Brilliant
Speaking of Kylo and Han, I had an idea for their final confrontation that would hopefully give some more depth and emotion to the scene.

https://vimeo.com/319079063

Password: fanedit

Since I’m thinking about cutting a lot of the Han/Leia dialogue about Ben, I thought it might be good to include snippets here, where they essentially act as evidence in Kylo’s final test of his parents. I think Kylo’s twisted ‘Thank you’ is much more meaning

Brilliant work

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NeverarGreat said:

Here’s an updated scene, with the return of the unused music and a still of the wall of days and the last shot of Rey as a stand-in for the island drawing. I like the idea you had RL about using the wall for the drawing, but it would still be fun to film an insert shot of that.

https://vimeo.com/316877939

Password: fanedit

OMG, Your a genius, i so love your work

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Another update to the Starkiller infiltration, continuing to weave the scenes into a more interconnected whole.

https://vimeo.com/325586676

Password: fanedit

So there are a lot of changes throughout, such as a shortened Falcon crash landing and additional lines for Phasma from the Battlefront game. The shortened crash was actually a suggestion of my girlfriend, who has been pushing for a less jokey final act. Her thesis for the humor of Star Wars is that by the final act of a movie the humor is almost entirely physical/situational rather than quippy lines due to the earnest tone, which I quite agree with. That is also why Finn’s dialogue with Phasma is shortened.

I’m still having trouble integrating comm chatter into Rey’s cell. Ideally it would inform her of the Falcon’s landing and add that final impetus for her escape.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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I really really like what’s happening in these edits! Keep it up, Nev!