VADER : “Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father”
LUKE : “He told me enough, he told me you killed him.”
VADER :“Oh… he did tell you. Wow… Yeah I did that… Opps”
Change the opening crawls so that they’re all inconclusive.
"It might be a period of civil war… Rebel spaceships, that could be striking from a hidden base, probably won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire… or second.
During the battle, Rebel spies probably managed to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, and space station with theoretically enough power to destroy a planet.
Likely pursued by the Empire’s kind of sinister agents, Princess Leia could race home aboard her starship, likely custodian of the stolen plans that can presumably save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy. In theory."
Rewrite ANH’s crawl to be like TFA’s:
Obi-wan Kenobi has vanished. In his absence, the evil GALACTIC EMPIRE has risen from the ashes of the Old Republic and will not rest until Alderaan, the last planet of the Republic, has been destroyed.
Without the support of the Senate, Senator Bail Organa leads a brave REBELLION. He is desperate to find the Jedi Obi-wan Kenobi and gain his help in restoring peace and justice to the galaxy.
Bail has sent his most daring Senator on a secret mission to Tatooine, where her long-lost brother knows the secret to Kenobi’s whereabouts…
You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)
To give Empire more representation to marginalized groups, change the infamous “No. I am your father.” to “No. I am your gay lover.”
I have altered Lucas’ visions. Pray I don’t alter them any further.
To give Empire more representation to marginalized groups, change the infamous “No. I am your father.” to “No. I am your gay lover.”
No, no, no, it would be “No. I am your father’s husband.”
This makes the morality of the movie much more grey, because Luke’s reaction now makes him look kind of homophobic.
“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas
TROS Novelisation: The Faraday Edit, TLJ: Stoic Edition, ROTS: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, Kenobi: Faraday Cut, Godzilla Vs Megalon, Godzilla Vs Gigan, Godzilla: Final Wars, The Light Rises, Faraday Jr.'s Star Wars
To give Empire more representation to marginalized groups, change the infamous “No. I am your father.” to “No. I am your gay lover.”
No, no, no, it would be “No. I am your father’s husband.”
This makes the morality of the movie much more grey, because Luke’s reaction now makes him look kind of homophobic.
But we can’t have common sense in a thread like this. That would ruin the point.
I have altered Lucas’ visions. Pray I don’t alter them any further.
When Obi Wan is shown to Jengo’s apartment on kamino Boba opens the door. You can hear Jengo straining at stool behind the other door. There is a flushing sound. Taun-we shouts “Dioxis!” Obi-Wan instinctively puts his Jedi breathing pipe in while Boba complains about the stench. The conversation continues as before but Obi-Wan has the pipe in his mouth so he sounds like a bad ventriloquist.
When Jengo Fett jets into the arena to face Mace the Clones descend all turn and say “Dad?” When Mace decapitates him the Clones start crying and all turn on him. Mace Windu spends hours decapitating all of them.
The frequently weird digital zooms in the prequels are continued until the pixels are visible. And then we cut back to the next shot.
Replace D-O’s lines so that he exclusively speaks in names of emotions.
“Sadness.”
“Happiness.”
“Vexation.”
“Dread.”
I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently.
Replace D-O’s lines so that he exclusively speaks in names of emotions.
“Sadness.”
“Happiness.”
“Vexation.”
“Dread.”
But with the word “Darth” before each.
Every shot and scene in which D-O appears or whenever he is nearby, he continually recites binary.
I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently.
Retcon the First Order troopers as a clone army by dubbing everyone over with John Boyega, deep faking his face over Jannah.
I like you, let us burn things together.
Google Translate the entire saga dozens of times from and back to English and then use AI to dub the butchered translations back over the original movies.
This editor uses Markdown syntax, which makes it easy to add formatting like italics, bold, and lists:
Preview this post to see the results.
For more details, see this Markdown demo.
Have all of the opening crawls of the films end with that Markdown Syntax message.
Replace the opening STAR WARS logo that recedes into the background with the entire markdown syntax message.
I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently.
Movies going faster speed everytime a character says a Star Wars keyword.
Have all of the opening crawls of the films end with that Markdown Syntax message.
Just make it the crawl. Weirdly I didn’t post that post. But I wish I had🤔
Have a sad trombone play every time someone is killed. Have a dial up Internet modem sound start when Artoo uses his computer willy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoNppL76O9A
Instead of “get this man off my bridge” have Holdo say “fuck you, Poe” as a callback to Laura’s character from Twin Peaks.
The Phantom Menace is the only movie which doesn’t have a reference to the Death Star. How could we add one?
When they say ‘Activate the droids’, a green Death Star laser shoots out of the center of the trade ship and hits Naboo, because green means activate.
You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)
When the little alien girl greets Rey on Pasaana in TROS, she asks her for a dollar.
“Oh… I don’t have one.” Smiles firmly but awkwardly
I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently.
Edit the Mandalorian and Ahsoka show to try and be more direct adaptations of EU material. Deepake Ahsoka into being Luke Skywalker.
My Edits:
Revenge of the Sith: Refocused Available
The Clone Wars Refocused: The Chosen One (Mortis Episode)