Jokes thread : Reloaded — Page 35

Can you get that Eastern European guy some food? He’s a little hungary.

Friend of mine has got a new job in a chess piece factory, he starts on nights next week.

Good luck to him, I said. As a rookie, all the worst jobs will be pawned off on them at first. Also suggested to look for any similar vacancies there - “any chance you can ask him to check, mate?”.

Fair play, it’s not black-and-white whether a rookie can do such a gambit.

Personally, I don’t he’ll last, he gets board quickly, and has quite a checkered past.

Some have said he needs to get down off his high horse. A bit harsh, but others, en passant, have said it may not be a bona FIDE career move.
 

Now I’m not that sure anymore, that it’s toothpaste…

P.S.: I think your friend will have to move at least 5 times before he can even think about a promotion. And he might suffer some material loss along the way.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Some time in the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson up and said, “Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes asked, “And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied, “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”
Holmes said, “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

Thank you student loans for getting me through university, I don’t think I can ever repay you.