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TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 102

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Darth Muffy said:

Regarding the dice scene maybe it’ll blend better if we were to extend slighty the part were Han looks down at the dice for pacing and also darken the lighting on Han in the exterior shot.

Slow Han looking down at dice:

Exterior shot of bright Han:

Does anyone have a link to the fully restored scene?

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

TROS Novelisation: The Faraday Edit, TLJ: Stoic Edition, ROTS: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, Kenobi: Faraday Cut, Godzilla Vs Megalon, Godzilla Vs Gigan, Godzilla: Final Wars, The Light Rises, Faraday Jr.'s Star Wars

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Hal 9000 said:

  • Add to Rey’s Force vision several overt mentions that she is Palpatine’s granddaughter.

Now that is funny - that being said, I can’t help but wonder if adding even more clues about Rey’s parentage to TFA and TLJ would improve the trilogy’s cohesiveness as a whole. I don’t have any concrete ideas though - maybe some Ochi flashbacks or some sort of Sith imagery in Rey’s first Force vision, or maybe altering Kylo’s lines in TLJ talking about her parents.

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 (Edited)

I think a flash of Palps’ house on Exegol would get the point across. Imagine if that came out in 2015… how crazy would fans be trying to figure out what/where that is and how it relates to Rey?

The Skywalker Saga:
I · II · III · IV · V · VI · VII · VIII · IX
This is the way.

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 (Edited)

The thing about the vision in TFA is that it isn’t rapid fire imagery like TROS, it’s a fairly linear journey with Rey present throughout. That’s why audio additions are really the only change that worked there.

EDIT: It may have been mentioned before, but Exegol/Palp’s house could be added by retconning that rainy planet where Kylo is killing a bunch of randos with his Knights. It looks similar enough, you could just add Palp’s place in the distance instead of that temple place.

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

The thing about the vision in TFA is that it isn’t rapid fire imagery like TROS, it’s a fairly linear journey with Rey present throughout. That’s why audio additions are really the only change that worked there.

EDIT: It may have been mentioned before, but Exegol/Palp’s house could be added by retconning that rainy planet where Kylo is killing a bunch of randos with his Knights. It looks similar enough, you could just add Palp’s place in the distance instead of that temple place.

Interesting idea, but isn’t that vision scene based on events that occurred? Kylo didn’t know anything about Exegol and needed the McGuffin to get there in ROTS … and if he was there and we see Granpa Pal’s House in the background … wouldn’t he have explored it and unraveled that mystery a long time ago?

Though I like the idea of trying to tie things together to make it more cohesive, so brainstorming idea is always a good thing.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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Since current canon has never explained where exactly that was and what was going on there, it could be retconned into a vision of a potential future. A similar thing happens with the latest version of this project, where the Rathtar sequence is repurposed in the vision for Rey losing Finn.

“Always in motion is the future.”

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More of a trimming … kind of a less is more decision. (I think? Been too long. Lol.)

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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Only that ridiculous part where a Rathtar swings Finn around trying to get through his plot armor after engulfing several gang members whole in seconds.

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 (Edited)

If adding in Palpy clues… keep it as vague as possible. “Rey Nobody” needs to still work even with these new changes and teases. Less of a “this is your heritage/family destiny, you are absolutely blood related to this guy” and more of just a “this is where the journey will lead to.”

The issue is, yeah, her vision scene in 7 is a straight timeline of events. Her vision of the future is one shot of Kylo coming at her in the snow and tall trees, which ends with her immediately knocking back to reality because she gets freaked by him (could work around that, maybe?)

The best way to include a shot of the Emperor’s house (or whatever) would be to just head-canon it and place that shot after the Bespin duel area hallway, and before old Luke placing his hand on R2? (Since that would be the time when Emperor died, and started living at that place trying to make his clones.) Not sure how this would look in an edit. It’s all quite fluid in the regular version of that scene; Rey rolls from Bespin to the Jedi Academy ruins in a single shot. So, not sure.

Save the Sebastian Shaw Ghost! Save the dream…!

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Oh for sure. But like… if it works… 😏

(Nah, not really. I’m glad that won’t be included lol.)

Save the Sebastian Shaw Ghost! Save the dream…!

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Beautiful. This powerful sequence has always been one of my favorite parts of your series.

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I don’t think you can cut back to Kylo & co, because that shot of him is from after he gets blasted by Chewbacca (and it would get reused later when he looks up at Finn). Also cutting back to them in the middle of the firing sequence might make it feel like Chewie takes too long to shoot at Kylo.

In Starlight Chewie immediatley shoots Kylo and blows everything up before the Starkiller fires, removing all the following action where everyone starts blasting, and where Kylo looks up at Finn. I prefer it the way it is in Restructured, but I think it only works if we don’t cut back to them until after the whole shebang. Then it can be implied by the audience that everything happens soon after Han’s death despite taking a break from that scene.

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Burbin said:

I don’t think you can cut back to Kylo & co, because that shot of him is from after he gets blasted by Chewbacca (and it would get reused later when he looks up at Finn). Also cutting back to them in the middle of the firing sequence might make it feel like Chewie takes too long to shoot at Kylo.

In Starlight Chewie immediatley shoots Kylo and blows everything up before the Starkiller fires, removing all the following action where everyone starts blasting, and where Kylo looks up at Finn. I prefer it the way it is in Restructured, but I think it only works if we don’t cut back to them until after the whole shebang. Then it can be implied by the audience that everything happens soon after Han’s death despite taking a break from that scene.

Yeah, I agree with that. Showing the main characters’ reactions is a nice idea in theory, but in practice I think it causes the sequence to feel weird. You either have to put Chewie’s reaction before the Starkiller firing (which distracts from the intended focus of the scene) or make it seem like Chewie just stood around doing nothing for almost two minutes. With the way it was in previous versions, it seems like Kylo and co just didn’t notice the Starkiller firing because of the shock of Han’s death, which is the best solution in my opinion.

My preferred Skywalker Saga experience:
I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX

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Burbin said:

I also had a question about TFA’s crawl, but I’ll post that on it’s respective thread.

I noticed only recently you changed the crawl from “Leia has sent her most daring pilot on a secret mission” to “Leia has sent her most trusted pilot on a daring mission”, was this change done before TLJ came out? Because to me Poe’s arc in TLJ could be boiled down as going from “daring” to “trusted”. And with how little characterization Poe had in TFA, I’m sure the way he’s introduced in TFA’s crawl as a “daring pilot” was used to inform his character going into VIII, so it seems weird to change that. Now you go into TLJ and suddenly Leia’s most “trusted” pilot is disregarding her direct orders, getting himself demoted, and having to be “stunned down” after staging a mutiny.

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I think it was because we wanted to make the mission “daring,” and needed something to describe Poe. Not entirely sure, though! I suppose one could say that his “trustedness” goes down at the start of TLJ.

I’m not looking to revise the crawl for TFA:R, as it requires Ridley to go through a big rigamaroll, and I’m genuinely all right with what it is at present. I’m hoping to button up the revision and then probably be finished with this project for good. Well, at least until the next Starlight-type project blows it open again.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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I see, I’m definitely ignorant of all the work that goes into making these crawls look so good, so I understand the hesitation over making smaller changes. It’s interesting if that was the intention though, because I think calling it a “secret” mission also works better with the “covert” Resistance angle, so I don’t see why you’d want to change it. Maybe at some point you described SKB as the FO’s “secret” weapon and wanted to avoid using the same adjective twice? In any case, yeah it’s not the biggest deal, it just stuck out to me as an odd change, as I think it’s less congruent than what was there originally.

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You might be right about secret. I don’t know either, so I’m hesitant to undo something and regret it. I like to do a deep dive, nail it down, and then surface again. Lol

My stance on revising fan edits.

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 (Edited)

Well you’d just have to look back over a hundred pages to search for the context… I found it! And it turns out that yeah, you made that change very early on, way before TLJ came out:

Hal 9000 said:

Here’s another revision of the crawl that I rather like. This one will probably be what I go with.

Episode VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS

Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen in secret from the ashes of the fallen Empire.

Failing to convince the New Republic to combat this emerging threat, General Leia Organa mobilizes a covert RESISTANCE to gather allies from the farthest reaches of the galaxy.

Desperate for her brother’s help, Leia has sent her most trusted pilot on a daring mission to Jakku, where a clue has been discovered to Luke’s whereabouts…

And further down the thread you explained your thought process behind the change:

MalàStrana said:

About the third paragraph, a question: why is Poe’s mission so daring ? Is Jakku supposed to be under FO jurisdiction ?

NeverarGreat said:

Yeah, I’d let the audience decide whether Poe’s mission is daring or not.

Hal 9000 said:

I swapped adjectives around to avoid using ‘secret’ twice.
The theatrical described Poe as daring, implying it’s why he was selected for the mission.

I could call the Resistance “brave,” as in the theatrical, and Poe’s mission “covert.” But, I like “covert RESISTANCE.”

So yeah, you changed it because for a good while the first paragraph described the FO as “risen in secret”. Which you eventually trimmed when you inserted the bit about the FO finishing it’s weapon, but that swap on the final paragraph just stuck around. And all of this was done before the added context of TLJ. Sorry if it’s kinda creepy for me to dig up that old fossil, I was just really curious of the origin of that change, and it turns out I was right on the money!