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Your favorite alternative curse words...

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Ever since my daughters were born, I have really tried to watch my language around them and protect their innocence; I figure they will only be kids once, right. But I am also the typical fix-it dad who smashes the occasional thumb with the proverbial hammer, so as a hobby, I try to come up with alternatives to my favorite curse words. Know some good ones? Post them for everyone to enjoy and use at their leisure. Some classics:

Sugar Honey Ice Tea
Shut the front door
Son of a biscuit eater

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Fiddlesticks
Belgium

VIZ TOP TIPS! - PARENTS. Impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it’s a 3D model of a save icon.

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What the hay?

Craptacular

H E double hockey sticks

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Hoover.(dramatic pause).dam

Shit…take mushroom

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Heavens to Betsy
Mother of Pearl

VIZ TOP TIPS! - PARENTS. Impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it’s a 3D model of a save icon.

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 (Edited)

Egg Sucking Gutter Trash
Piece of Ship
Unfrickenbelieveable

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I will typically describe something lame as “soft.”

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Ratio Tile said:

I will typically describe something lame as “soft.”

That’s not an alternative curse word…at least not the way you’re using it.

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TV’s Frink said:

Ratio Tile said:

I will typically describe something lame as “soft.”

That’s not an alternative curse word…at least not the way you’re using it.

Well, in my original post I substituted lame for the curse word I really meant. I guess I’m not used to Star Wars-related forums where it’s okay to curse. Here’s what I should have said:

I will typically describe something that is fucking retarded as “soft.”

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Bloomin’ Heck

VIZ TOP TIPS! - PARENTS. Impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it’s a 3D model of a save icon.

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What the flip
flippin’
frickin’
freakin’
Son of a bang

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Ninnyhammers*

(*Must be said in west-country style Hobbit accent circa about 1400 (Shire Reckoning).

VIZ TOP TIPS! - PARENTS. Impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it’s a 3D model of a save icon.

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I have never been able to successfully alterna-swear, impressionable children be damned.

But I always liked Melon Farmer.

Project Threepio (Star Wars OOT subtitles)

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Clucking bell… or if in a sci-fi frame of mind - Frak or Smeg

A little patience goes a long way on this old-school Rebel base. If you are having issues finding what you are looking for, these will be of some help…

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Drokk
Grud
Jovus
Stomm
Spug

From the Judge Dredd comics (Respectively - Fuck, God, Jesus, Shit and Fuck again).

VIZ TOP TIPS! - PARENTS. Impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it’s a 3D model of a save icon.

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oojason said:

Clucking bell… or if in a sci-fi frame of mind - Frak or Smeg

Battlestar Galactica has certainly added Frak to me and my wife’s vocabulary.