Hal 9000

Sir Ridley said:

About the Maz’s castle attack scene, here are the changes needed (as I see it now):

• Lone Star Destroyer
• Alternate music and sound
• “They’ve found us”

Optional:
• Remove sunset TIE shot
• Regrade outdoor scenes to evening/sunset
• Change Maz’s line “Those beasts! They’re here.”
• Put back cool X-wing shots from trailers in the battle

I tried the Kylo shuttle idea, it looks fine but doesn’t really work after all, so I’m on board with only the Star Destroyer. I’ll revise my edits and see what we get.

Well said. This is where we are at in the process.

I’d be open to presenting the story thus far for a newcomer as:
Rogue One, 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6, 7

Kexikus said:

Now that we only have the Stardestroyer in the scene I think that my proposed music (heard in Sir Ridley’s mock-ups) is no longer a good choice for the scene. Instead we need something more menacing but not an action theme. Any ideas?

Also, I’ve thought about improving the Republic-Resistance-relationship. Maybe that’s outside of what this edit aims to do, but I think that the restructure allows to do this much better than the theatralic cut. So here’s what I think could be done:
First of all, the crawl could be written a little better in this regard to show that the Republic is not supporting the Resistance but instead hesitates to do anything.
Then in the briefing scene have someone ask: “Will the Republic send help?” and someone else (ideally Leia) would answer: “No.” Then 3PO would have his “Without the Republic fleet we’re doomed.” line and the briefing would go on.
And a little later, probably before the Falcon arrives at Starkiller Base we’d insert the Leia and the Resistance deleted scene where Leia sends Korr Sella to try and persuade the Republic once more. The one problem here would be that Korr would have to teleport to Hosnian Prime in order to be there for its destruction^^ So maybe that scene has to be placed earlier, but I don’t know where.

I’d be in favor of this. This project is a restructuring of the SKB plot, and so there’s no need to apologize for proposing suggestions related to it.
I’ve posted before about a née crawl, very similar to the original one, that includes a few political descriptors. The First Order rising “in secret,” and Leia “failing to convince the New Republic of this looming threat…”

MagicStingRay said:

“The Last Knight” I think is interesting. Seems to obviously refer to Luke, but what about Rey? Hinting at a possible Luke death. Or one of the Knights of Ren, or some other new character.

Or “The Force Hits Snooze” probably adds more continuity.

A “Last Knight” title would REQUIRE Episode IX to be titled something associated with sleep or morning.

Sounds great! I’d also be interested in his reaction to ESB, if he’s really into his sister as you say. 😛

I seem to remember JJ Abrams commenting that the subset TIE shot makes no sense, but he liked it and used it anyway.

Very good. Seems the sole Star Destroyer in the sky using the existing film edit with new music will be our ace in the hole.

Yeah, I’m open to persuasion for removing “they’re here,” but I don’t see it as a necessary problem.

It’s true this edit is narrowly focused, but I don’t mind discussion of scenes and dialogue closely related. There was some discussion a while back about whether to remove, “Those beasts,” or, “They’re here.” I think the idea was removing, “They’re here,” avoids having it look like no one told Maz about the impending attack.

I really like both approaches, but I think the lone Star Destroyer makes more sense.

Star Destroyer appears. Finn returns to Han out of concern for Rey. Rey tries to send BB-8 back, and spots TIEs. Apocalypse Now shot. Maz hands off the saber, sans “they’re here.”

In the end, its very similar to V1, without the TIEs. Just need to implement new music, though.

But, I’m very happy to let both approaches receive R&D, and see which seems most effective.

Are you suggesting offscreen dialogue from the brown alien would explain why Finn turns around? I don’t get it.

I like the Star Destroyer in the sky on its own. The patrons are surprised more than afraid, not being used to seeing such things in their day and age. The TIEs approach from another angle, with Rey still being the first to see them.

Carrie’s hair is different in the deleted scene. 😦

This seems like an elegant solution to several small problems.

Oh, that’s incredible. You’re a wonderful group. After I put out V1, I sat at my computer hoping, "Won’t someone please make this better?"
And, Sir Ridley, though it’s a cliche comment at this point, “we will watch your career with great interest.”

DominicCobb said:

Go for it. In the theatrical cut it made sense to have the down beat in between the Starkiller strike and the TIE fighter attack, but not here.

That’s a damn good point.

It’s acceptable at present, and it would take what seems like an inordinate amount of work to ask someone to improve upon it.
As it is, the second scene with Snoke involves several shots from the first scene which shows Kylo in his mask. During the couple shots we see him from the front, his face has been pasted over the mask. But, the remaining shots show his hood rather than his hair. We also see Snoke sit down without seeing him ever stand up. Once I get my TFA stuff back out and on the metaphorical workbench, I’ll see if I can’t fix this through editing. (Although, if I could have already, I’m sure I would have; can’t remember exactly.)

No, I didn’t. IMHO, they were hokey and unconvincing.

That’s great! I wonder if it might be more effective to cut to underground rather than side wipe. And I’d be fine with moving the TIE sunset shot to earlier in the film as a few others have done, if it’s better for this problematic sequence to remove it.

DominicCobb said:

The new Boyega line works surprisingly well. Not perfect, but close.

I think the music you’ve put in is a big mistake though, as that exact music is used minutes later in that exact scene.

If the new music seems perfect and irreplaceable, we could probably replace it’s later appearance pretty easily.

Once we’ve gotten that clip into shape pretty much how we all like it, I would request an uncompressed output of your work without the TIE sound effects. This WILL address a major sticking point in V1, and I thank you again for the stellar contribution!

I adore that. Gorgeous work!

Well, there’s going to be an entire V2, with the solutions for given problems that seem best out of what we collectively come up with. If there’s something that can go two ways that’s audio only and doesn’t affect sync, an alternate audio track could be a thing.

Nostalgic.

I was hoping some additional brilliant people would come out of the woodwork. I’m really looking forward to a V2 we can be very happy with.
It’d be awesome if there were some way to telegraph that SKB is designed to suck up its local star and just use its energy to target one or more targets. Like maybe it’s a one-shot thing, or one suck up and it can keep using small portions as it goes. That would work well with Finn’s description of it using “the Sun,” and the star that bursts out of it at the end from the remaining energy. This could be background murmuring at the Resistance base or on SKB. I haven’t come up with anything, but it’s another opportunity.