Could you also try having there be a slight space between the two clauses?
“You’re a ghost. In a rotting clone.” With a derisive tone.
I think that I’ve messed with the scene as much as I’m willing to, trying to improve upon it. There’s only so many recordings of that theme and none fit in seamlessly and I’ve already put out what I still intend as the final version. There’s nothing more I can do, and I very much want to put the prequel trilogy edits behind me once I revise COD once more.
Hmm, that voice wasn’t quite as convincing.
Just consulted the novelization, and there is no direct equivalent line at that point, no “you’re just a clone” or anything like that. But, there’s a line from Hux as he and Pryde watch Kylo mow down posers on Mustafar that, “Flames of rebellion burn across the galaxy and Kylo Ren chases a ghost.” I think “phantom” risks being rather on the nose given the official title of Episode I. The fewer words the better, also. We don’t want it to come across as a nerdy insert, despite that being what it is.
That’s why I prefer, “You’re a ghost, in a rotting clone. What could you give me?”
No, it’s gotta be brief and unintrusive, not just because there’s a brief space for the line to fit but to avoid feeling clunky.
I like, “You’re a phantom/ghost, in a failed/rotting clone. What could you give me?”
Maybe, “You’re a ghost, in a rotting clone.”
^ My “revenge” addition was a joke by the way, just involving all three prequel titles.
You’re compelling me, that’s really something there.
“You’re a Phantom, a failed Clone. Out for Revenge.”
Give… give me the file. Lol 😂
Are you using AI to get lines for Jango? Also, nice sly use of low-res deleted scene on a viewscreen!
At least these are audio-only changes, as I’m working to get V3 finished, lol.
There’d not be a ton of room to shoehorn in new dialogue in those two shots in the opening scene, but I think I prefer, “You’re just a phantom… what could you give me?” Remember, in Ascendant, as opposed to the theatrical version everyone got the chance to complain about, we just saw a pickle jar full of Palpatine clones (or even if they aren’t obviously him, certainly clones) and heard exposition about him casting his spirit elsewhere after dying. So I do not feel a strong need to for Kylo to comment on his cloneliness.
No words would help the moment of the transfer of the saber from Rey to Ben, I wouldn’t want to add any there.
Same for Ben reviving Rey. I think the trilogy has enough instances of people saying “Rey” in isolation.
As for adding a line of dialogue after Ben dies, my only concern is that it may undercut the reveal at the end of his ghostly image.
So… none of these feel necessary to me, and would have to really strike me as working very well in order to make it in.
Woah that’s a really impressive voice ngl.
I would be 100 percent behind this if it weren’t for a conversation we all had awhile back. Basically, we don’t want the audience to think he’s just a clone of Palpatine. Somehow, it has to be clear that it’s a weak clone with the actual essence of Palpatine within. Having Kylo deliver that line gives more credence to the former rather than to the latter.
100%. That is an impressive voice, fits in rather nicely.
“You’re just a clone.”
“Your clone.”
I don’t think that’s necessary, and the voice isn’t anywhere near where it’d need to be for the commanding opening lines from JEJ’s infamous character.
Other than a heavily subdued “find me,” I think the movie is right to let a sequence go by before making Palpatine’s line be first.
The Luke line about the final lesson still does not work in context, sadly.
And the line about Rey sensing the Force in Finn just has no place to be slotted in.
Thanks for trying, but I’ll continue to prepare for V3’s release.
Good catch. I think it’d be silly for me to dedicate any time to this until after we see Andor Season 2, but there may be enough to do at that point.
Thank goodness for stilted dialogue delivery! Those sound pretty good.
That’d be sublime at the script level. The scene where they reunite works without dialogue, but it could conceivably work as the scene fades
to black. It ought to be a low voice, almost a whisper. The music could be changed to accommodate, and the length of time spent in black adjusted (if not the length of the whole shot), if need be.
I love the idea, but as with any of these AI ideas, it will really depend how it happens to be able to come together.
Still waiting on the chance to try mixing the Luke line, by the way.
Isn’t that what we’re doing now? No one is actually banned, just held to post here until they serve the time.
Everyone’s sentence has been halved. Now there are only 5 non-consecutive posts needed, rather than 10.
Hmm, that might actually sound okay! I’ll play with it when I am able.
It was wonderful to be able to tune in for the premiere of the scan on YouTube yesterday, especially with the director of the movie dropping in like that. He seemed enthused because Venny’s efforts are the best pathway to getting something like this done, given legal restraints.
Any chance of having the delivery be slower, more solemn? Sounds more like a quick table read rather than the dramatic, paced delivery he gives in the scene itself.
Hard to say out of context but I’ll play with them when I’m able!
I’ll be there.
I’d be the world’s biggest hypocrite to shame you for it!
Hehe, Klingon subtitles would be the ultimate.
Is there an Esperanto subtitle?