snooker said:
A few weeks ago I edited something together but never posted it. Here’s my take on the final act. I would make a few changes to this but I think this gets an idea of how the climax could feel. This was heavily based on one of RogueLeader’s posts.
Notes: Some of the audio transitions are very rough and I’m not happy with the transitions after the Gungan retreat and after the Queen is brought to Nute.
And here’s a slightly outdated chart of the edits:
I really liked this. It flowed much more naturally for me. I like how you had the low points of all four plotlines at the same time, for the viewer’s emotional flow to dip as one, before the high points of each.
(As an aside, I remember an interview with Michael Arndt back when he was writing TFA, where he talked about how one of the big successes of ANH’s editing was that it put all of the story and character arc high points within quick succession when things seemed at their lowest - Obi-Wan’s ghost gives Luke hope, Han returns after rejecting the rebellion to get Vader off Luke’s tail so he has the clear shot, Luke takes the shot, Death Star explodes, Obi-Wan’s ghost confirms Luke’s belonging on the Jedi path, rebels celebrate, C-3PO shows how much he cares for R2, medals all round.)
Having just delved into it, I think you used all of the right shots form the Gungan plotline. You could show the horseback charge before the riders get shot down - that one just made a bit more sense to me logically in the moment. I think you cut to the street fight and Neimoidian suprise at exactly the right moment to sell the purpose of the Gungan battle, and the point where you cut back to the Gungan fight felt right too - at that point you’re just intercutting between the Gungans and the hangar so it’s just two plots. I’d still probably prefer to pull the Gungan surrender to far earlier (like your graphic implies) just to get it out of the way, because while it was nice to have the four low points together, it did feel like a bit of mental juggling to still need to stay aware of this plotline during the other three. (Back to the Arndt example, you don’t necessarily need to drop all the low points at the same time as much as deliver all the highs at the same time). It did also feel a bit long to wait to return to that plotline.
Maybe this section could run as:
- Gungan battle until the droids breach the shield and the full conflict begins, which enables-
- Street fight (and Neimoidian suprise) and hangar victory until the shot of the single Naboo fighter falling, which leaves the hangar plotline in a moment of relative peace (the other plotlines haven’t kicked off from here yet) but gets the pilots launched on their mission to destroy the control ship
- Droidekas enter the Gungan battle, overwhelming them and destroying the shield, increasing their jeopardy and the importance of the Padmé/pilot missions
- Pilots in space engage the incoming droid fighters (the pilots in space shot implicitly happens a while after their prior shot of leaving the hangar anyway), showing that they’ll face resistance, leaving that plotline in a position of tension so Padmé’s capture of the Neimoidians will be important
- Gungan surrender, leaving them in jeopardy but closing off that plotline, again emphasising the importance of the other plots
- Hangar plots spin off, with Padmé ‘reawakening’ the story here with the second prong of their attack (“The Viceroy’s in the throne room”), Anakin ‘safe’ in the cockpit, and Maul triggering the change in plans
On the Padmé plotline, yesterday I was thinking about trimming that too - I feel like the ascension cables part doesn’t add much tension, and just slows down the plot when it needs to be fast. We don’t know the internal geography of the palace, so I feel like cutting away during the gunfight and then cutting back to Padmé’s team getting captured should be OK. Or you could maybe even show Padmé’s team leaving the hangar (running), then rejoin them onscreen when they get captured (whilst running). I don’t think it necessarily weakens their plan to have not accounted for resistance in the higher levels, with the chaos they’ve been causing (and the Jedi they expected to be accompanied by). As much as Padmé doesn’t have much character in this movie, all these scenes really add is showing her holding her own in a gunfight (which we’ve already seen in the hangar) and a bit of creativity (which we’ve seen with her decoys, Gungan diplomacy, and planning this whole assault). If the palace combat plotline is minimised - and ends early - then we’re mainly just following our main characters: Anakin in space trying to help take down the droid control ship, and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon (who’d be able to help the Queen) being tied up with Maul. It also makes it clearer that they really needed the Jedi for this section, and that Maul was a good counter to that.