Okie doke, just to address line changes that have already been brought up for Ascendant (but yeah, for sure, we can suggest new line changes in the other thread):
RogueLeader said:
I think someone already mentioned it, but I love how Rey says regarding the dagger, “Horrible things have happened with this.” While in her other hand she holds a lightsaber that literally slaughtered everyone in the Jedi Temple and killed a room full of children.
I like the dialogue change btw.
I’ve removed Rey’s line. Personally I’m not bothered by this one so much either way (I guess I’ve finally found my breaking point for “stupid, but not movie-breakingly stupid”), but I present this so that others can weigh in:
https://streamable.com/g624m1
Peonthegrate said:
sherlockpotter said:
Getting away from huge, controversial lore changes for a hot minute (God, at least I hope I am. I don’t even know anymore)…
Hal 9000 said:
I like the idea of moving Rey’s death forward, however, aside from the seemingly large task of musical score, I’d hate to break it apart from Finn’s reaction. With what you suggest I imagine chuckling that Finn is sensing he’s once again been put in the friend zone in favor of Kylo Ren. Like he’s saying “Oh no, not this guy again. Get away from her why don’tcha.”
Yeah, so…I kinda took a stab at this.
I’m definitely open to feedback on the audio transitions - that first one especially is pretty tricky. Hal, do you think the cutaways to Finn work in this new context?
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jrxdxU_SxgbNxK-uUdLh1qyyg5tKn3-_/view?usp=sharing
Changes:
- Pushing Rey’s death forward to immediately after Palpatine dies, both so that it doesn’t feel like she just drops dead randomly, and also to extend the tension before her resurrection for longer than 30 seconds
because I still think tension is important, darn it
- Cutting directly to Rey’s corpse after Finn and Jannah blow up Pryde’s ship
- Reinserted Finn sensing Rey, but moved backwards to when Ben finds her body. My hope is that their reactions compliment one another.
- Removed the kiss. I know Hal said in his commentary track that he’s not particularly interested in this change; but I figured I might as well practice cutting it for my own benefit, since I was rearranging the music in this scene anyway.
Also, I want to know…what music editor saw these shots and was like, “You know what one word describes all of this? Peaceful.” What a fecking wackadoo.
Really really like this. I do think trimming away the lando being all giddy with chewie scene before they save Finn and his daughter would improve it even further though.
I’ve done a version of this as well. I tried to be really clever and hide the cut mid-camera whip; but if that doesn’t work, it’s definitely doable to just cut the exterior shot of Poe’s X-Wing as well, and go right to the Falcon swooping in.
I’ve also touched up a couple of the audio transitions. Hal, does something about it still not sit right by you? And if so, is there any way we can fix that? (Like I said, I just cut the kiss for my own benefit. If you still want them to make out, you do you.)
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NJW8hX-_ZMtr-aBP8vn_ntPNmKW99GID/view?usp=sharing
Also, I suggested a while back - and I don’t think anyone responded one way or the other - another possible alternative for “Leia sensed the death of her son at the end of her Jedi path.” What if we cropped it to “Leia sensed her son at the end of her Jedi path”? It’s the same double-meaning kind of thing as “the birth of her son” that was originally pitched, but now the secondary meaning is that, when Leia becomes one with the Force, Ben will be there (in the Force) waiting for her.
We wouldn’t even need to splice any extra voice lines; just do some careful audio trimming.