sherlockpotter

The Rise of Skywalker: Untold is a WIP fan edit of Star Wars: Episode IX that I am trying to develop. Based on Hal 9000’s incredible Ascendant edit of the film, Untold hopes to take all of the enhancements designed for Hal’s version, and push the film still further by reworking a number of the core story elements. The primary goals are:

• Undo the “Rey Palpatine” retcon
• Provide Kylo with an actual arc that adds nuance to his character, and builds to his redemption
• Minimize Palpatine’s role in the film, making the story less about him and more about Rey
• Remove the subplot of Hux being a spy and inexplicably betraying everything he’s worked for over the course of the trilogy
• Further expand on the underlying concept, newly created for Ascendant, that the galaxy is rising up due to Luke’s sacrifice
• Several other tweaks to minimize the film’s contrived plotting

This is a fairly intensive reworking of the film, so I don’t have any release date in mind at the moment. But I’ll post updates on this thread as I’m working on it, so feel free to check back if you’re interested! (And if anyone wants to help out with audio or VFX, feel free to reach out!)

FULL THEORETICAL CHANGE LIST (all edits subject to change):

• Add Sith Whispers earlier in the prologue, so the Wayfinder effectively “calls out” to Kylo.
• Remove the vat of Palpatine clones during the prologue. Remove all dialogue, including Palpatine himself. Add additional Sith Whispers to guide Kylo through the scene instead.
• Remove the scene where Rey and Leia gleefully exclaim that “Nothing’s impossible!”
• Cut directly from Rey’s meditation practice to talking to Leia in the hangar.
• Recut Rey’s conversation with Leia in the hangar, so that the point of the conversation is on Rey “not feeling like [her]self,” instead of on her just feeling “tired, that’s all.” Reinsert the “hear the voices of the Jedi who came before” line that had been cut earlier.
• Remove Rey’s line about “I will earn your brother’s saber…someday.”
• Mirror shot of Poe saying “T-minus 5” in order to maintain a constant screen direction. Add a new line of Poe calling for Chewie to address Chewie not being in the cockpit during the previous shot.
• Remove any mention of a tree falling on BB-8 in the scene where the Falcon returns. Repair BB-8’s broken plating in wide shots during Finn’s and Poe’s return.
• Move Rey’s training course scene to after Poe berates her for focusing more on training than on helping the cause. (This way, it gives Rey a reason to be so angry and frustrated during the training course other than, you know, “the script.” It also directly leads from Rey’s vision to the larger conflict brewing, which feels like a nice connective through line.)
• Replace shots of Baby Rey and Ochi during Rey’s vision with shots of Finn and Poe in danger, to foreshadow her new inner conflict that will be explored later.
• During the Intel Briefing, cut out all references to Palpatine, focusing the discussion instead on the newly discovered Sith Fleet.
• Add new C-3PO line: “Legend describes [Exegol] as a hidden temple to the Sith.” (To maintain continuity within SW canon that the Sith Planet was actually Moraband.)
• Add new C-3PO line: “The Sith would bring their followers to Exegol, and force them to build weapons and monuments to their power.” (To offer an explanation as to how the Sith Fleet would be fully manned and ready to go, let alone how it was built in the first place.)
• Tweak the dialogue between Rey and Leia to suggest that the Wayfinder information was catalogued by the Jedi, rather than by Luke himself. This hopefully papers over a gap where TLJ implies that Luke had never read the books in the Tree Temple, whereas TROS says that he was actually using the Sacred Jedi Texts as his personal diary.
• Change Rey’s line from “Find Exegol, find the Emperor,” to “Find Exegol, stop Kylo Ren.”
• Cut Rey’s line, “You were right before,” mainly to give the scene transition a half-second to breathe. (Also because the line makes no sense in context.)
• Use different shots of 3PO and R2 as they are saying goodbye before the mission.
• Cut Leia’s line “Never be afraid of who you are” to avoid yet more overt exposition.
• Modify Kylo’s vision slightly from the version used in Ascendant. Rather than hearing Palpatine’s voice, Kylo now thinks back to Rey promising to help him in TLJ – and remembers her betraying that promise (in his eyes) by not joining him.
• Add new Knights of Ren dialogue when they enter the board meeting, and a new Kylo line as a response, to imply that the KOR killed Alien Mark Hamill. (By having the Knights kill Alien Man™ instead of Kylo, it establishes the Knights of Ren immediately as dangerous, ruthless adversaries. It also means that Kylo doesn’t kill the only lead the First Order has toward discovering the spy.)
• On Pasaana, remove Poe’s line about “The First Order likes to patrol parties like this.” (You know, parties that occur every 42 years on underdeveloped desert planets on the edge of the galaxy while their power is already being stretched by a galaxy-wide uprising? Yeah, they patrol those all the time!) Hopefully, this helps to lull both the heroes and the audience into a fall sense of security, and thus makes the ensuing scuffles more intense. It also helps the new puppet show sequence to make more sense in context – Why would the locals be making fun of the First Order directly in front of First Order troopers?
• Trim Rey’s conversation with the kid who gives her the necklace, to avoid the awkward, over-the-top “What’s your FAMILY name? Don’t you have a FAMILY??” nonsense.
• Swap Kylo’s line “Palpatine wants you dead” for his later line “Wherever you are, you’re difficult to find.” Trim Rey’s responses to match.
• Trim “HAVE TO kill you” and “And turn you to the Dark Side” from Kylo’s dialogue.
• Try to normalize the screen direction when Rey is running away from the Force Skype Call, so that she doesn’t appear to be running in circles.
• Remove Lando’s line “Leia sent me a transmission,” to maintain the suspense about whether or not this mysterious man can be trusted.
• Add a line for Poe before Lando’s identity is revealed – “You with the Resistance?” (Taken from TFA)
• Modify Lando’s cabbie’s voice to make it sound more alien, rather than him just screaming “OKAY!”
• Remove the scene of Random First Order Officer telling Kylo that they were able to track Rey’s necklace to the Pig People of Pasaana. (For one, it feels very contrived that the First Order was only able to track them because some random kid gave Rey a necklace 90 seconds ago. What would Kylo have done if he connected with Rey earlier? What was his plan? For another, how quickly is the First Order able to mobilize and travel to a random desert planet? Star Wars has never been very consistent about how fast Hyperspace travel is; but it shouldn’t be instantaneous. I’d prefer to have Kylo discovering them through vague means that are open to interpretation, rather than over-explain every minute detail of the plot. It also serves to make Kylo a more threatening presence, and the danger more immediate. He’s not just “somewhere” in the galaxy; he’s right on top of them! Grabbing the necklace isn’t reduced to some mechanical plot device now; it’s a psychological power play.)
• Remove Rey recognizing Ochi’s ship from her childhood.
• Trim Poe cartoonishly asking Rey, “Did you get all of them–?” just as the last stormtrooper pops up out of nowhere and blows up their ships. (Could we swap in a call from Finn instead? Playing with different ideas, currently.)
• Trim everyone firing willy-nilly on the last, lone Jet Trooper, in order to cut some of the excess out of the film. (Idea by bbghost.)
• Add an extra wide shot of the Pasaana valley before they start slipping into the quicksand, for pacing.
• Trim Poe’s line “I don’t like bones.” (It feels like it comes out of nowhere, and is never relevant again. Now, 3PO can once again be the nervous one of the bunch with his “Never a good sign” comment, which feels more in line with both of their established characters.)
• Remove 3PO saying that he can translate the Dagger – he just can’t relay that translation – to try and make the Dagger subplot less contrived.
• Remove the quips between Finn and Poe as Rey approaches the snake in the cave, to preserve the tension of the scene.
• Replace one of the Knights of Ren dialogue lines that was added in Ascendant. Specifically, swapping “I get his teeth” for “Call in the transports.” (This lampshades a slight logical gap where two entire ships of First Order troops apparently went unnoticed by any of the heroes, and/or magically appeared between shots; and it also makes the Knights of Ren less “sadistic hunters” and more “ruthlessly efficient soldiers.”)
• Add a quick flashback to Rey’s vision of her parents leaving her, before trying to prevent losing Chewie the same way. (Going back and forth on this one for now; feel free to weigh in.)
• Try to fix the screen direction when Rey is holding the ship so that Finn’s eyeline matches the rest of the action.
• Rearrange some lines during the discussion about going to Kijimi, so that Poe is more concerned about potentially destroying 3PO than about bumping into his ex.
• Add all new audio and dialogue throughout the Kijimi sequence, as well as rearranging and adding some shots and scenes, to imply that Kijimi has been actively protesting the First Order, rather than being merely passively oppressed by them. (Their inspiration for doing so will be revealed later.) A conflict is now occurring elsewhere in the settlement, which serves as a dramatic undercurrent during the Trio’s mission to the planet. (Initial concept by RogueLeader)
• Remove Zorii’s line about “Your friend used to be a spice runner,” as well as the subsequent quips about “You used to be a spice runner??” (Both to maintain pre-TROS canon about Poe’s upbringing, and also to provide a more somber tone so soon after “killing” Chewie.)
• Restructure the conversation between Poe and Zorii on the rooftops, so that Zorii encourages Poe to listen to the protesters in the distance. He hears that they have been inspired by Luke’s heroic sacrifice; and that, in turn, is what gives him the strength to continue the fight. This way it can tie into the new subplot of Luke inspiring the galaxy, and also ties back into Poe’s goals during The Last Jedi – “We are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down.”
• Trimmed Zorii saying “Remember?” to Poe. Remember what?
• Replace 3PO’s line immediately before deactivation, so as to preserve his humor without undermining his bravery.
• Add a new scene of Kylo on the Falcon, where he finds Han’s dice.
• Replace 3PO’s Dagger translation. It now says that the wielder must submit to the Dark Side in order for the location of the Wayfinder to be revealed. (Idea by RogueLeader)
• Trim Poe asking to kiss Zorii.
• Replace a line of dialogue so that Finn doesn’t question the importance of retrieving the dagger.
• On Kylo’s ship, Finn, Poe, and Chewie don’t get re-captured a second time. Hux doesn’t help them escape.
• When Rey enters Kylo’s bedroom, add a new vision sequence when she picks up the dagger – this vision reveals that the Wayfinder is located on the Death Star. Recolor Rey’s eyes so that they turn yellow as she embraces the dagger’s influence, showing her slipping into the Dark Side. During this vision, include a shot of Palpatine to reveal his involvement for the first time in the story.
• Completely rework the Kylo’s Quarters conversation. This scene now outlines Rey’s new central conflict, explores Kylo’s newly refined motivations, and further establishes Palpatine’s return. In a nutshell, Kylo tells Rey that she’ll only be powerful enough to defeat Palpatine if she submits to the Dark Side. This gives her a legitimate temptation to turn, rather than “evil genetics,” or whatever the heck J.J. and Chris mistakenly took for a character arc.
• Mirror the shot of Vader’s helmet’s plinth being destroyed, to maintain screen direction with the surrounding shots.
• Replace Kylo’s dialogue in the hangar to set up new, personal stakes for Rey: If she doesn’t ally herself with Kylo to stop Palpatine, her friends will die. (Hence the vision she had earlier of them in danger.)
• Tweak Kylo’s dialogue slightly so that he’s not trying to kill Palpatine out of a hunger for power; but rather, he’s trying to stop Palpatine because he knows Palpatine would be a plague on the galaxy and destroy everything. This way, Kylo becomes a more nuanced character; which subsequently also makes Rey’s journey more interesting, because it makes Kylo’s offer to her more appealing.
• Modify the Falcon’s rescue in the hangar slightly so that Rey seems lost for a moment – obsessed with Kylo – before Finn is able to snap her back to her senses.
• Reinsert the Kylo phone call scene, but replace the dialogue so that Kylo now searches for Rey through the Force instead. This provides a chance for Kylo to actually hunt Rey (without relying on stupid, convenient gimmicks like the Pig Necklace), it provides a logical explanation for how he tracks her to Endor (and, retroactively, explains how he found her on Pasaana), and the voiceover will imply that Rey is also telling Finn and Poe to go to Endor, since they weren’t around for that reveal in this version. The scene now also expands on the idea of the wider galaxy rising up against the First Order.
• Change Rey’s dialogue on the Falcon to explore why she still won’t join Kylo, even to stop Palpatine: “He killed his father. Ren. It’s too late. I’m going to destroy him.” Add some subtle, Sith-y whispers in the background as she’s zoning out.
• Reverse the order of scenes on board the Falcon before arriving at Endor, going from Rey and Finn first to Poe second. Poe’s line “Landing gear’s busted? How busted?” now forms a direct segue into their crash landing. Add an additional shot of Chewie to pad out the scene, taken from the deleted “Lightspeed Skipping” sequence.
• Remove Jannah saying that Babu sent her a message. (The original line implies that Babu sent this message out at random, and simply hoped that no First Order sympathizers would hear it. It’s sloppy, shoehorned, and superfluous.) Add a new 3PO line (and rebuild his movement sound effects) to compensate.
• Restructure Jannah’s scene with Finn slightly to imply that Finn’s story is what inspired her and her friends to leave the First Order. (Not only does this add some sense of payoff to Finn’s origins, but it also ties back in with the lessons about “inspirational heroes” that Finn and Rose shared in TLJ.)
• Add an extra line for Finn, saying that the Force brought him to Jannah.
• Recut Leia heroically hobbling away to her death (Why is she already so weak? She hasn’t done anything yet.) as well as Maz’s on-the-nose line that Leia is about to kill herself. Refocus the scene around Leia instead of Maz.
• Rather than Force Pushing Finn away, Rey now zaps him with a bolt of Force Lightning, depicting her further slide towards the Dark Side.
• Depict the broken lightsaber as dying and fizzling out during the Death Star fight. (Idea by Jar Jar Bricks)
• Restructure Leia’s death scene so that she dies as Ben is saved. Add additional dialogue of her trying to save her son one final time. (Aside from the thematic parallels, you could also assume now that Leia is sacrificing her own lifeforce to save her son’s… rather than Leia simply losing the will to live when they ran out of Carrie Fisher footage.)
• After Rey leaves Ben “stranded” on the Death Star, add a shot of Ben holding Han’s dice before Han appears, in order to tie TROS back in with TLJ, and to symbolize Han’s presence.
• Add a new, abridged version of the scene where Palpatine summons Pryde. Rather than a full-blown conversation, Palpatine now simply whispers “Come…” into Pryde’s mind. This way we can tease Palpatine more before his ultimate reveal, without spoiling him on such an inconsequential moment.
• Swap Finn’s scene with D-O and Poe’s scene with Lando for better tonal pacing.
• Remove the scene where Finn and Poe discuss D-O’s connections to Exegol, to avoid Palpatine being involved in Rey’s childhood. Scenes now go BEN’S REDEMPTION > EMPEROR SUMMONS PRYDE > FINN AND D-O > POE AND LANDO > AHCH-TO
• Cut Luke’s line “A Jedi’s weapon deserves more respect.” So does Rian Johnson, J.J.; so does Rian Johnson.
• Cut Luke’s line “It was fear that kept me here.” Modify his line “What are you most afraid of?” to “What are you so afraid of?” for better logical flow. (This is to stay true to Rian Johnson’s explicit intention in Episode VIII – that Luke would never go into hiding out of cowardice.)
• Add new dialogue for Rey, lamenting all of the people she’s hurt due to her lack of control.
• Remove Yoda’s Theme when Luke (who is not Yoda) lifts the X-Wing (which is not Yoda) out of the water (in which Yoda is not swimming) for Rey (who is also not Yoda). Replace it with the new “Rise of Skywalker” Theme.
• Remove 3PO getting his memory back, so that his sacrifice has consequences.
• Modify 3PO’s dialogue slightly to help establish the lack of memory restoration: “[This R2 unit] is receiving a transmission.”
• Move the scene of Finn, Poe, and Rose analyzing the Exegol weather reports to after Rey’s transmission, implying that the atmospheric data was transmitted along with the coordinates.
• Trim Merry’s patronizing tone as he refers to Chewie as his “buddy.” Chewie’s a veteran of three galactic wars at this point, not a moping child.
• Remove the borderline tasteless reference to the “Holdo Maneuver” (Merry’s delivery feels too chipper when he says, “Remember when our commanding officer sacrificed both herself and our most valuable ship in a desperate, last-ditch attempt to save the Resistance? We should launch more suicide bombings!” [Ackbar Jr. nods excitedly at the thought of killing himself.])
• Trim Poe saying that destroying the Navigation Tower will leave the First/Final Order stuck on Exegol “for just minutes,” because if they don’t have a means of navigating off of the planet, surely the First/Final Order would be stuck on Exegol “forever,” right?
• Build an all-new sequence depicting the Sith Fleet preparing for launch, intercut with shots of Rey flying through the nebula-thingy. Use Palpatine’s transmission speech about “The Day of the Sith” as a montage voiceover, now repurposed as an inspirational speech to his own followers, instead of a public service announcement to the galaxy at large.
• Recolor the Sith Technicians’ helmets black, to try and make them look less like red, plastic, Halloween costumes.
• Reinsert the vat of Palpatine clones as Rey is walking towards Palp’s evil lair, serving as both a logical explanation for how Palpatine is back, and also a psychological buildup to Palpy’s big reveal.
• Cut the secondary Navigation Tower from the Exegol battle – why wouldn’t the First/Final Order just switch back to that tower once Pryde’s command ship is destroyed?
• Rework Palpatine’s dialogue with Rey to avoid any references to Palpatine being related to her, as well as references to “Palpatine’s master plan was to lure Rey here.”
• Trim Finn saying that they only need to stop the navigation signal from transmitting “Till help arrives.” I suppose after Lando shows up, it doesn’t really matter if the enemy gets away and destroys the galaxy? Okay, Finn, sure; you do you.
• Add a couple of shots of Hux to the Exegol battle, just to show that we haven’t forgotten about him, the poor guy.
• Mirror the shot of Finn and Jannah charging (retreating?) during Palpatine’s dramatic monologue for better sense of screen direction. The fact that I don’t even know what they’re trying to do in this shot just shows how badly it was directed.
• Trim a shot of Rey seemingly “sensing” Ben arriving on Exegol. (I assume she doesn’t actually sense him at this point, because why would she go along with Palpatine’s plan if she knows backup is almost here?)
• Trim Rey’s dumb, overly-telegraphed nod that she’ll go along with Palpatine’s plan.
• Add Kylo calling out to Rey before she “sees” him on Exegol. His final line of the trilogy is no longer “Ow.”
• Trim Poe saying that the Navigation Tower is down, “but not for long.” (He just saw it blow up from the inside; why would he assume that it’s going to be back online in a minute? And why would Finn & Co. start to leave if they knew the job wasn’t done? And why does it comes as a shock to Finn that the Nav Tower is rebooting if Poe says that it will? Four words haven’t made so little sense in a Star Wars movie since “I don’t like sand.”)
• Try to correct some of the flip-flopping screen direction issues throughout the Exegol battle.
• Add a line of dialogue to establish that some Star Destroyers have started launching from Exegol. (This establishes a ticking clock to the battle, and also explains why four Star Destroyers are suddenly out and about in the galaxy during the closing montage.)
• Remove Zorii from the final battle, so that her sacrificing her medallion to Poe earlier actually has consequences and means she’s stuck on Kijimi.
• Add a new line into the Jedi Voices mix for Plo Koon. (Given how Dave Filoni has so much influence in the franchise, and Plo is his favorite character, it’s weird that he wasn’t included in the first place.)
• Move Poe’s line “Nav Signal’s Down!” to right before he says “The fleet is stuck here!”
• Move Rey’s apparent death to immediately after defeating Palpy. (This way Rey doesn’t just drop dead out of the blue.)
• Trim Lando’s senile laughter as Finn and Jannah are mere seconds away from falling to their deaths.
• Remove Finn’s reaction to Rey’s death. (Nothing against his being Force-sensitive personally; but since all of the other “set up” to him using the Force will be cut for various reasons, it doesn’t feel right to try and introduce that element this late in the film.)
• Cut Rey and Ben’s kiss.
• Completely reedit the reunion scene during the finale. Zorii is gone, Chewie doesn’t get a medal for “Exemplary Fan Service,” Lando doesn’t awkwardly flirt with someone later retconned via Twitter into his heretofore unmentioned daughter. Yoda’s Theme, like Yoda himself, is not present. Recut the scene to subtly imply a romantic interest between Finn and Poe.
• Insert a new scene of 3PO and R2 during the post-Exegol reunion, where 3PO asks to hear of their time together, and thus they begin to rebuild their friendship anew. (Based on an idea by RogueLeader)
• Cut the old woman out of the ending, as well as the trite “Rey Skywalker” line.

Nindroid243 said:

sherlockpotter said:

Something I was thinking about adding - would there be some way to depict the Sith Destroyers beginning to leave Exegol? It would add some decent tension to the sequence (“Guys, it’s starting! We’re out of time!”) and it would help to establish how so many Destroyers have already traveled to other planets for the ending montage, when the whole battle is framed around the idea that “We have to stop them before they leave.” (Except for the one ship that blows up Kijimi.)

It could be easily done by recording a new line of dialogue from a random Resistance pilot somewhere - “Did you see that? Two of them just jumped into hyperspace!” - but I wonder if there’s some way of repurposing footage to depict it visually?

I am also using this idea in my own fan edit/fan film. The Idea is that Palpatine reorganizes The First Order into The Final Order, under General Pryde as leader of the entire fleet. This would work best probably by using The Fortnite broadcast message while ships are being deployed across the galaxy, while Poe and the Resistance are listening.

This is my Rough Cut- https://streamable.com/adrmda I know it’s very poor but it gets the concept of the scene.

Ha! I also wanted to pair Palpatine’s speech with the “Anthem of Evil” music! I like what you’re going for here with all of the ships invading the galaxy. Redubbing all of the dialogue would probably be a challenge, but I’d be interested in seeing how it could all come together! Maybe skipping the stuff with Poe and Merry in the beginning, and just starting from Rose’s “Listen, there’s a broadcast coming through”?

jadenkorr41 said:

sherlockpotter said:

Jar Jar Bricks said:

The ships that are destroyed in the planetary sequence are First Order ones.

Nah, doesn’t Palps tell Pryde to join up with the Sith Fleet? I took that to mean that they incorporated all of the First Order assets into the Sith Fleet and they all became one huge force.

Dude, are you telling me that the central conflict they had been building up for two and a half films (the First Order) was resolved off-screen by a bunch of unknown people whom we never meet? While our protagonists were dicking around with a random side mission?

God, I hate this film.

Why would they move all their assets directly on exegol? That just sounds illogical. It’s not so different that in RotJ, the entire imperial fleet was not all present at the battle of Endor. I don’t think it’s that hard to imagine that a sizeable portion of the first order fleet is regrouped on exegol while the remaining ships scattered across the galaxy remained in place.

So no, it’s not a side mission persay. While in TrOS there’s many things that are nonsensical, I just don’t see this as a reason and if at all, one of the major ones.

You’re right in that it makes sense mechanically - that there could still be First Order ships elsewhere in the galaxy. My point is that I don’t think it’s very satisfying narratively. You have two and a half movies building up the First Order as the primary antagonists, led by Kylo Ren and General Hux; and then the finale isn’t about stopping them - it’s about stopping Palpatine (who was just retconned back into existence for this one film) and his fleet of ships, the command of which was given to General Pryde (a new character introduced in this film). From a story perspective, there’s no buildup to Palpatine, Pryde, or the Sith Fleet, and therefore neither the characters nor the audience have any emotional investment in the battle.

Maybe that’s why, in my head, I tried to recontextualize the final battle so that it did involve the First Order again. Which brings me back to my original point that if the First Order has set up on Exegol, I’d also like to establish that the Star Destroyers are starting to launch.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

The ships that are destroyed in the planetary sequence are First Order ones.

Nah, doesn’t Palps tell Pryde to join up with the Sith Fleet? I took that to mean that they incorporated all of the First Order assets into the Sith Fleet and they all became one huge force.

Dude, are you telling me that the central conflict they had been building up for two and a half films (the First Order) was resolved off-screen by a bunch of unknown people whom we never meet? While our protagonists were dicking around with a random side mission?

God, I hate this film.

Something I was thinking about adding - would there be some way to depict the Sith Destroyers beginning to leave Exegol? It would add some decent tension to the sequence (“Guys, it’s starting! We’re out of time!”) and it would help to establish how so many Destroyers have already traveled to other planets for the ending montage, when the whole battle is framed around the idea that “We have to stop them before they leave.” (Except for the one ship that blows up Kijimi.)

It could be easily done by recording a new line of dialogue from a random Resistance pilot somewhere - “Did you see that? Two of them just jumped into hyperspace!” - but I wonder if there’s some way of repurposing footage to depict it visually?

Is anyone still sharing links to this? I’ve been looking for a version of Rebels without so much filler. Thanks!

Docking Bay 54 said:

Burbin said:

Restructured is Hal’s edit of TFA, with a few trims and a reordering of the story it offers a nice improvement over the theatrical cut while keeping the overall look and feel from the original. I recommend it if you like TFA and would just like to see a version that improves upon it.

Starlight is a TFA edit by user NeverarGreat, it has a few similarities with Restructured as Neverar helped Hal with some of the edits, but overall it’s a more radical version that has a lot more changes and additions. I recommend it if you’d like to see an alternate take on episode VII, though a few of the changes don’t align perfectly with Hal’s Ascendant.

Rekindled is a TLJ edit by user Poppasketti, it is very similar to Hal’s Legendary edit as it originated from it, Poppasketti did a lot of work that’s included in both edits as they were developed side by side. I think Legendary aligns slightly better with Hal’s Restructured and Ascendant, though from what I gather Rekindled seems to be a favourite among many users.

But it’s up to you which version of TFA & TLJ you prefer, there’s no “definitive” answer. I personally prefer Hal’s edits as a more cohesive experience, but Starlight & Rekindled are really good alternatives.

Thanks, Burbin! Very helpful! Gonna be looking into some (hopefully) superb PT edits after I get situated with these. Right now, I’m on board with Adywan’s OT edits (-he’s how I found this wonderful site).

Great write-up, Burbin!

Just FYI, Hal also created edits for Episode I, Episode II, and Episode III which are absolutely incredible.

Hal’s kinda a fan-editing legend.

• “As you wish” - Sounds perfect.
• “He’s not worth anything to me dead” - Sounds good to me. If I’m being really nitpicky, I feel like the emphasis would normally be on “dead” rather than “anything” - like, “dead” would have to be pitched up slightly - but I don’t think I would’ve noticed if I wasn’t deliberately looking for seams.
• “He’s worth a fortune to me.” - I think the problem here is vocal quality, unfortunately, rather than something digital. “What if he doesn’t survive” is quick and full-sounding and matter-of-fact; but “He’s worth a fortune to me” sounds softer and slower, kind of raspy and whispery and sinister. Maybe speeding up the line a little will help it to match better? But god knows I’ve had to scrap a bunch of potential line replacements myself because the vocal quality didn’t match.

jarbear said:

The edit’s goal was to remove the “all” part for various reasons for this line, which is why it’s just “a/uh” instead.

REY: “I’m… uh, Jedi?”

OLD WOMAN: “Rey who?”

REY: “Rey Goldblum.”

EddieDean said:

I think those are all good observations worth thinking about, though I disagree with one: I think having Kylo’s prayer early really works. It makes him appear weak and conflicted right off the bat, which I think is a great introduction to the character. This guy looks like a knockoff Vader, in a real-world context he stands in the shadow of Vader, and having his characterisation be that he’s trying to imitate Vader because it’s important to his identity to carry Vader’s legacy is really interesting. It focuses his storyline on the ‘easiness’ and ‘seductiveness’ of the Dark Side, and then all of the characters in his life challenge that - Rey, Snoke, Luke, Leia/Han - until he turns to the light. I think it works for the arc that’s emerged since the release of TROS.

Yeah, different strokes for different folks! The thing for me is, I suppose, I don’t want the main antagonist in a story to “appear weak and conflicted right off the bat.” I want my big bad to feel terrifying… before later stripping them down and breaking them apart (on a metatextual level, not literally beating them up in-story). It would be like putting Thanos’s scene with Gamora as his first scene in Infinity War - that scene works so well because, based on what we’ve learned so far, we don’t expect our villain to act like that. It’s subversive. Or to use an example closer to home, it’s why Vader isn’t revealed as Leia’s dad when he she encounters him on Tantive IV, because it makes Vader less mysterious and thus less imposing. It’s weird, because as much as we all know these films inside and out, we also have to consider what would be the most impactful to an outsider. That’s what I meant when it said it really only works when you already know that Kylo is Leia’s son, and he would therefore be affected by hearing her voice. Because then you’re not looking for mystery; you’re looking for character.

One of the clever things about not having Snoke reveal Kylo’s identity so early is that, knowing who Kylo is adds to his conflict; so by removing that, you increase the tension surrounding the character. But then putting the Prayer so early has the effect of minimizing him anyway. No matter where the scene is included in the film, it’s going to make him appear weak and conflicted; but for me, I think it’s important that a villain be established first before then humanizing them. Especially this film, which is actively trying to set up Kylo as a Vader-wannabe (before being self-aware and turning that into a character flaw).

It’s all subjective though!

Nev, this is an exceptional edit. It truly is close to being the definitive TFA edit; but, there are a couple of things stopping it from being that… yet. Some of them are technical issues, and some of them are story issues. I’ll go through the things that I noticed in chronological order. And I’m sorry in advance for how long this is going to be. But I wanted to be thorough!

Before I start complaining though, I want to reiterate how bonkers amazing so much of this is. In particular, I loved hearing the Force “Echoes” that Kylo was hearing, I loved how Maz’s was streamlined and made more logical by them not having Leia’s location already. Delaying the reveals of Kylo’s identity and Poe’s survival worked brilliantly on a number of levels. And the new sequence with the shields lowering was absolutely beautifully done. Amazing work!

Now, onto the critiques:

• Story issue: I think Hal’s opening crawl actually works a lot better unfortunately, for two main reasons: A) The second paragraph of Starlight’s is a run-on sentence, which makes it difficult to read (especially in the brief time before it “crawls” away), and B) The third paragraph, outlining that the Republic created the Resistance - that doesn’t mesh with the later scene of Leia complaining that the Republic isn’t taking the threat of the First Order seriously. I’m pretty sure Hal’s crawl clarifies that the Republic wasn’t doing anything, which is why Leia herself had to form the Resistance.

• Technical issue: Speaking of the crawl, there’s also a weird audio issue where the first trumpet blast is in mono or something, before the next note transitions the music out to surround. There’s also some weird flickering going on with the black levels during the crawl, that I didn’t notice anywhere else in the edit.

• Technical issue: The Jakku regrade. I love it conceptually, but it’s inconsistent. Namely, during dusk and dawn. The sand looks too orange during these scenes for me, and it doesn’t feel like it matches the pale, bleached color that it has the rest of the time. Compare Rey bringing her wares to Simon Pegg (which, based on the sun, is happening at sunset) to Rey finding BB-8 (also at sunset). The latter scene is much more colorful. I feel like, for consistency, the sand should be more desaturated, kinda dark greyish.

• Technical issue: Bass crackling, mainly during the interrogation scenes (both of them). Maybe it’s just my headphones; but I haven’t noticed it in any other version of TFA that I’ve watched, so I’m not sure why it would happen here.

• Story issue: I would remove the first part of the Echoes during Poe’s interrogation - i.e. the ones heard before Poe is slammed back. For two reasons: A) The final line wasn’t even heard by Poe, and B) Because it negatively affects Rey’s interrogation. Bear with me here - Kylo is able to immediately access Poe’s memories. But, he’s not supposed to be able to break into Rey’s mind. So if he immediately hears Poe’s thoughts, then we already know from the first second of Rey’s interrogation (when he doesn’t hear anything) that he won’t be able to break her. Thus, Rey’s interrogation is immediately devoid of any sort of tension. If it takes a moment to break into Poe’s mind, then we still maintain that tension when trying to break into Rey’s mind.

• Story issue: I don’t think Kylo’s prayer should be so early. If we’re looking at the structure from outside of the story, it makes sense; because we know he’s thinking of his mom. But internally, it detracts from the pacing of the story, and of the character. The prayer is this incredible moment of vulnerability, which recontextualizes our main antagonist. Put that too early, and we don’t have much of an opinion of Kylo yet, so there’s barely any character defined yet to recontextualize. Additionally, you give Kylo a huge moment of internal conflict early on, and then have him act like “Generic Bad Guy” for the next hour of the runtime. It doesn’t feel like a intricate, nuanced character, it feels like uneven characterization. Instead, I would put the Prayer maybe after Snoke tells him “You’ve never faced such a test” (to compliment Snoke’s uncertainty about Kylo’s strength and commitment); or else it would go nicely after Han & Co. arrive at Maz’s, but before the First Order comes (as if Kylo is praying before the battle. Maybe he even suspects his father will be there, and he needs to steel himself.) Or, maybe after Hux berates him for letting his personal feelings affect the mission.

• Technical issue: Finn waking up at sunrise doesn’t work for me, I’m afraid, for a few reasons: A) There’s a weird, noticeable glow mask around his head when he first wakes up. B) Again, the color of the sand doesn’t match the daylight color, and C) The lighting jumps instantaneously between shots, rather than gradually brightening throughout the sequence. If you want to keep Finn waking up when it’s dark, keep everything the same until after the TIE explodes; then, increase the brightness during each of the shots of Finn trudging, lost, through the desert. Each of these shots is designed to indicate passage of time already, and seeing the daylight brighten between each shot will only help establish the feeling that Finn has been wandering for a long time.

• Technical issue: Some of the new music cues aren’t mixed properly. I noticed it at 1:11:55 (Resistance arrival at Planet Maz), 1:53:56 (during the Rey and Kylo duel), and 2:05:30 (the new music added to the end credits). It sounds like it’s going from the surround mix to a mono mix or something like that.

• Story suggestion: Maybe Rey could hear a snippet of Kylo’s Prayer during the interrogation scene, before she speaks to Kylo directly. It’s not necessary, but it would be a fun way of subverting the interrogation if the audience is expecting to hear Rey’s thoughts, and then we suddenly hear Kylo’s.

• Story issue: I absolutely adore crosscutting Rey’s escape with Phasma’s patrol. It adds so much tension to think that Phasma is coordinating the whole effort. But! All of this amazing work you did to establish that tension is undone with one iffy cut. When Chewie tackles Phasma, it’s a slapstick moment, and it completely drops all of the tension out of the sequence. Not to mention, we spend so long before cutting back to Rey that we forget she’s in peril. So instead, I would tweak it just slightly to this: Rey triggers the sensor > Phasma says “I won’t tolerate sloppiness.” > The trooper says it’s a false alarm > Cut back to Phasma walking, she says “Acknowled–OOF” as Chewie tackles her > Finn “Follow me” scene > Kylo on Falcon. That way, the slapstick serves as a palate cleanser after the tense moment with Rey.

• Technical issue: When Kylo is with Han on the bridge and hears Leia’s voice, just one of the Leia clips (“We can still save him”) is stuck on the left channel. Since it’s the only one, it feels like an error.

• Story issue: After Starkiller fires and Rey and Finn escape, I would drop the music entirely as they run through the forest, only bringing it back in when they hear the lightsaber ignite. You did such a wonderful job of crafting this breathtaking, heart-stopping sequence when the weapon fires; this music here then create a feeling of excitement and anticipation. The music detracts from the feeling of hopelessness, whereas silence - with just the wind whispering across a desolate, empty forest - I think, would enhance it.

• Technical suggestion: We see Poe enter the oscillator, then the TIE behind him peels off, and then…something explodes behind him. If you cut to the interior shot of the oscillator just a few frames earlier, before the TIE turns, would it feel like the TIE crashes trying to chase him? As it is, I didn’t really know what caused the explosion.

• Technical issue: Agreed with some of the others here, Rey’s Sith-y eyes don’t really pop. When she opens them, it doesn’t feel super impactful. They need to be much brighter yellow, even glowing a bit.

I’m not trying to be a nagging Nellie here, because most of this edit is indeed incredible. I think if you just address these relatively few critiques, Starlight will become my go-to version of TFA. Seriously, well done, Nev. I’ll keep an eye out for a V2!

Hal 9000 said:

New version of the large 1080p form factor is now available, with the other two encoding now. When all are done, then I’ll update the torrents. (I’m not going to bother with the DVD5.) So that’ll probably come tomorrow or a day later.

And I know I’ve said it before, but this Williams theme will always be associated for me with our time together working on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPyWz2J7ng8

God, I love that theme.

Thanks so much for your hard work, Hal! (That explains why you didn’t want to wait and re-encode it again. 😉)

Maybe it’s rusted a bit from being in the sunken Death Star for thirty years, idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “What a piece of junk!”

Poppa’s just got mad attention to detail.

Hi jonh! Since I know you’re a busy guy, I just want to take a moment while you’re here to say thank you for your incredible VFX work on this project. Having those ghosts during the finale is arguably the biggest redeeming factor compared to the theatrical film - it truly is extraordinary, seamless work.

On behalf of Star Wars fans everywhere - thank you!!

Just wanted to wish everyone here a very happy holidays!

And…if the edit will be re-rendered anyway, might I suggest one final tweak to the finale in the spirit of the season?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bcwm4AM0cxorLSwpSC2unc0jNK1B7HTQ/view?usp=sharing

I’ll echo everyone else and say what a mind-blowing achievement this is. Thank you to everyone who contributed - and especially to Hal for doing such an exceptional job leading us on the journey. It’s been an absolute privileged to have worked with you all over the past year or so.

I’d also like to point out - this is the first time I’ve seen all of the crackly saber effects implemented, and they look amazing! (And Hal, brilliant job with the added sound effects to really drive the effect home.) It’s also the first I’ve seen of the milky eye removal that Nev did - Originally, I didn’t really care about the change either way; but the new version honestly looks so much better.

Just absolutely amazing work all around!

Master Lawdog said:

sherlockpotter said:

DZ-330 said:

Hate to ruin the party… but “a thousand generations live in you now” is still in V2 even though it is in the cutlist.

Oh shoot, does that mean the whole film has to be re-rendered?

Honestly, I like the way how it is. I prefer the line, "You’ll take both sabers to Exegol to be the line that’s removed. It plays out much better this way: “A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you… but this is your fight.”

So the saber line was removed in V2? Honestly, I remember there was a lot of discussion about this scene, but I don’t remember what the final decision was. Maybe this is the version that was voted on, and the documentation just needs to be changed?

As ever, it depends on what Hal wants in the film.

DZ-330 said:

Hate to ruin the party… but “a thousand generations live in you now” is still in V2 even though it is in the cutlist.

Oh shoot, does that mean the whole film has to be re-rendered?

Like hedgesmfg said, that just seems to be Google’s long-standing policy in regards to Drive file sharing.

That said, it’s not unlikely that we’ll have to deal with some delays when trying to download V2 - Google will often put temporary blockers on popular files (i.e. files that are being accessed by several different IPs at once). So just be patient, folks (or wait for Hal to update the torrents). A little longer won’t kill us.

Hal 9000 said:

Well, nothing else to do for the moment but wait a long time for it to encode. Unless I find anything show-stopping, I expect I’ll be able to get the big ‘ol 1080p version up sometime tomorrow. Then the two 720p mp4 versions, and then I will do the DVD5 whenever I can (I’m sure this is the least valuable).

So anyone hoping to make a Christmas viewing out of this, I hope not to disappoint.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/2HaGe8XcMHA?start=383&end=400

It’s surreal to think that V2 is finally here; V1 came out, what, July 2020? (EDIT: November, per Hal.) What are the two different 720p versions, Hal?

Kinda bummed we didn’t hit Page 600 beforehand though, honestly…

Hal right now like…

Hal 9000 said:

Let me temper things by saying that due to a couple things it will likely be released after 12/20, but should still roughly coincide with the anniversary in principle, if not technically.

So what you told us was true, from a certain point of view…

I remember MR’s tests for the caves with the different particle effects and everything, and those were absolutely gorgeous. Obviously, this lost kewlfish footage is a huge boon and could simply be inserted as-is; if MR and RL are still interested in pursuing the enhanced effect even more though, maybe kewlfish’s footage could be used as a base layer?

The cave especially is such a tricky shot - the lightsaber is the main source of light, and it’s not moving very fast; so this sequence more than any other really showcases the new effects.

That said, I’m absolutely not going to insist anyone do extra work that they don’t want to do. Just keeping with what’s already here would be fantastic for the project!

Thank you for combing through the thread, Master Lawdog! That’s the tricky thing about this project being nearly 600 pages long. Geez…