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sherlockpotter

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Post
#1473491
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

arabian said:

This sounds mostly really awesome. A few things:

I want the Rey/Ben kiss. So yeah, that doesn’t work for me. Also don’t like that Ben clearly still dies, but so much of this does sound great.

Seocond, erm: --> Four words haven’t made so little sense in a Star Wars movie since “I don’t like sand.”

WHAAAAAT?!

That was a brilliant line (badly delivered). It was about Tatooine and all that it represented, and like he said the opposite of what Padme was. It just meant so much and was (a) a callback to his childhood as a slave, being owned by someone, and the freedom that his mother never got, and (b) foreshadowing for what was to come with Shmi’s death because “sand” was representative of Tatooine.

Ahem, sorry. Just had to get that out.

Ha! I knew someone would call me on that! It was just a little joke, don’t worry. (“Certain point of view” is honestly much more contrived, if less of a meme.)

I’ll keep an open mind on the kiss. Mainly, I remember dreading it in the theatre, and then I completely deflated when it actually happened. But who knows? Maybe I’ll be like Rey - suffering an abusive relationship with this story for so long that I eventually embrace it romantically. 😉

I will say that I never picked up on much sexual tension between the two of them (other than maybe the shirtless scene in TLJ). So really, it just feels like a very…I dunno, unhealthy foundation for a romance. But I’m open to having my mind changed - goodness knows there’s still plenty of time for that to happen!

Post
#1473465
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Thank you!

So many of my proposals here are “based on RogueLeader’s idea,” so I definitely appreciate the help! I’ve never attempted something of this scope before, so it may all crash and burn around me; but hey, might as well try, right?

hinventon said:

Also good job posting on 2:22.

Thank you for catching that! I was watching that clock like a hawk lol.

Post
#1473450
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

The Rise of Skywalker: Untold is a WIP fan edit of Star Wars: Episode IX that I am trying to develop. Based on Hal 9000’s incredible Ascendant edit of the film, Untold hopes to take all of the enhancements designed for Hal’s version, and push the film still further by reworking a number of the core story elements. The primary goals are:

  • Undo the “Rey Palpatine” retcon
  • Provide Kylo with an actual arc that adds nuance to his character, and builds to his redemption
  • Minimize Palpatine’s role in the film, making the story less about him and more about Rey
  • Remove the subplot of Hux being a spy and inexplicably betraying everything he’s worked for over the course of the trilogy
  • Further expand on the underlying concept, newly created for Ascendant, that the galaxy is rising up due to Luke’s sacrifice
  • Several other tweaks to minimize the film’s contrived plotting

This is a fairly intensive reworking of the film, so I don’t have any release date in mind at the moment. But I’ll post updates on this thread as I’m working on it, so feel free to check back if you’re interested! (And if anyone wants to help out with audio or VFX, feel free to reach out!)


FULL THEORETICAL CHANGE LIST (all edits subject to change):

  • Kylo no longer encounters Palpatine on Exegol. The Sith Fleet does not deploy. Instead, Kylo hears whispers from Sith Spirits, who guide him through the scene. Added a snippet of the “Anthem of Evil” theme, which will be used throughout this edit to represent the Sith Cult.

  • Remove the scene where Rey and Leia gleefully exclaim that “Nothing’s impossible!”

  • Moved Rey’s conversation with Leia in the hangar to immediately after her meditation, so it now takes place before she runs the training course.

  • During Rey’s and Leia’s conversation, restructured the dialogue to be more about Rey “not feeling like herself,” rather than it being about her “being tired.” Removed the portion of the conversation where Rey decides that she shouldn’t be using the lightsaber that she’s already been using for two movies. Additionally, BB-8’s plating is no longer broken, as that happens during the Training Course (which hasn’t taken place yet).

  • Mirrored a shot of Poe in the cockpit for better sense of screen direction. Add a new line of Poe calling for Chewie to address Chewie not being in the cockpit during the previous shot.

  • Modified Rey’s Jedi Texts – rather than looking at Sith Wayfinders again, she’s now studying Force Healing. (Art and FX by NeverarGreat)

  • Modified Finn’s and Poe’s homecoming scene so as to avoid anyone mentioning BB-8’s broken plating. The damage itself has been repaired using a combination of new footage (all color-corrected to match the rest of the scene) and VFX.

  • Rey now attempts the training course after Poe berates her for spending more time training than helping the cause. This gives Rey a plausible reason for getting so agitated during the scene.

  • Removed Ochi from Rey’s vision, and added new shots to set up the threat of the Sith Fleet.

  • The Resistance intelligence briefing has been recut to avoid any mention of Palpatine. The crisis at hand now revolves around Kylo discovering the super-powerful Sith Fleet, which makes the danger much more personal to our heroes.

  • Added new C-3PO dialogue to maintain continuity within Star Wars canon that the Sith Planet was actually Moraband, not Exegol. Exegol has been recontextualized as a “temple to the Sith” instead.

  • Added new C-3PO dialogue, to offer an explanation for the abundance of ships and workers on Exegol.

  • Tweak the dialogue between Rey and Leia to suggest that the Wayfinder information was catalogued by the Jedi, rather than by Luke himself. This hopefully papers over a gap where TLJ implies that Luke had never read the books in the Tree Temple, whereas TROS says that he was actually using the Sacred Jedi Texts as his personal diary.

  • Changed Rey’s final declaration from “Find Exegol, find the Emperor,” to “Find Exegol, stop Kylo Ren.”

  • Cut Rey’s line, “You were right before,” mainly to give the scene transition more room to breathe.

  • Used different shots of 3PO and R2 as they’re saying good-bye (color corrected).

  • Removed Leia’s line “Never be afraid of who you are” to Rey, and her handing back the lightsaber.

  • Additional changes to Kylo’s vision in this edit remove Palpatine’s dialogue from the sequence, and add an extra line for Rey.

  • Padded out Kylo’s march toward the board meeting with new, color corrected footage. Added a bit of the Knights of Ren Theme.

  • Redubbed the First Order meeting so that the Knights of Ren (rather than Kylo) are the ones who killed Alien Mark Hamill. This immediately establishes them as fearsome, dangerous foes, and avoids the Idiot Ball moment of Kylo murdering his only lead towards discovering the identity of the spy.

  • Removed Poe saying that the First Order are going to be patrolling the Pasaana party. Realistically, they wouldn’t care about the festival; and removing this foreshadowing makes the ensuing scuffle much more surprising and intense.

  • Replaced Kylo’s line “Palpatine wants you dead” with his later line “Wherever you are, you are hard to find.”

  • Removed the scene where the First Order analyzes the Pasaana necklace, because it doesn’t make sense for Kylo’s entire plan to be dependent on a random child giving Rey a piece of jewelry 99 seconds earlier.

  • Mirrored the shot when the group first encounters Lando, for more cohesive screen direction.

  • Trimmed Lando saying that “Leia sent me a transmission.” For the audience, it helps to maintain the mystery of who he is (and whether or not he’s trustworthy) until after he removes his mask. For the characters, it avoids awkward questions such as “Why didn’t Leia tell them to rendez-vous with Lando if she knew he was going to be at the same party?” And “Why does Lando need Rey to deliver messages to Leia for him, when he’s clearly in contact with her already?”

  • Added a line for Poe, asking their mysterious rescuer if he’s with the Resistance too.

  • Removed Lando’s cabbie’s dialogue.

  • During the Desert Chase, trimmed Finn excitedly whooping at the violent murder of his fellow kidnapped child-soldiers.

  • Removed Rey recognizing Ochi’s ship from her past.

  • Trimmed Poe comically screaming “Did you get all of them?” right as a stormtrooper blows up their ships.

  • Trimmed the heroes firing willy-nilly at the last stormtrooper, to remove some of the gross excess from the film. (Idea by bbghost)

  • Added a brief shot of the Pasaana landscape after the final stormtrooper is defeated, to allow for a moment to breathe before sinking in the quicksand.

  • Removed Poe saying that he doesn’t like bones. It’s an awkward beat that doesn’t fit with the rest of his character, and is never relevant to the story again.

  • Replaced some of 3PO’s dialogue when reading the dagger, to avoid saying that he knows the Wayfinder location, he just can’t say it out loud. That setup is ridiculously contrived; the plot makes much more sense if 3PO is physically incapable of translating the runes until he’s “patched” later on with a Sith Dictionary.

  • Remove the quips between Finn and Poe as Rey approaches the snake in the cave, to preserve the tension of the scene. (Idea by MoviesRemastered)

  • Replaced the Knights of Ren line used in Ascendant “I get [the wookiee’s] teeth” with “Call in the transports.” This lampshades a slight plot hole where either the heroes didn’t notice the First Order ships directly behind Ochi’s ship, or else that those transports appeared magically between cuts.

  • Moved the shot of the First Order towing the Millennium Falcon to immediately after the heroes leave Pasaana.

  • Color-corrected a quick shot of Poe on Ochi’s ship that was inserted for Ascendant, to more closely match the surrounding footage.

  • Restructured the pre-Kijimi conversation slightly, to imply that the group is more worried about potentially destroying C-3PO than bumping into Poe’s ex.

  • Added new dialogue and sound FX throughout the Kijimi sequence, as well as new footage, restructured shots, and new color corrections, to portray Kijimi as actively resisting the oppression of the First Order, rather than passively allowing themselves to be occupied. (Initial concept by RogueLeader)

  • Removed the retcon of Poe previously being a drug dealer, both to maintain continuity with the already-published Expanded Universe stories, and also to avoid making him even more derivative of Han Solo. Let Poe be his own character.

  • Added a new sequence of Kylo on the Falcon after it’s been captured, where he rediscovers Han’s dice.

  • Redubbed 3PO’s comments immediately before deactivation, so that he can still have a funny line, but one that doesn’t try to undermine his sacrifice.

  • On the rooftops, Poe’s conversation with Zorii has been heavily modified. Rather than Zorii offering some hollow platitudes, Poe can now hear the Kijimi citizens fighting the First Order in the distance. He realizes that they are fighting in the name of Skywalker – it’s the movement he was so determined to create in The Last Jedi, now finally come to pass. And this knowledge – the knowledge that his efforts have not been in vain – is what revitalizes Poe’s determination.

  • Added some new dialogue and music during the “squeaky wheel” scene, and removed Rey recognizing Ochi’s ship from her childhood.

  • Redubbed 3PO’s translation of the dagger – rather than saying “exactly where the Wayfinder is,” the dagger now promises to reveal the Wayfinder’s location to anyone who’s willing to embrace the Dark Side of the Force. (Original concept by RogueLeader)

  • Replaced Finn’s line after 3PO’s translation, to avoid mentioning Endor too early.

  • Rey now hears Chewie through the Force on Kijimi, which is how she realizes that he’s alive.

  • Trimmed Poe asking to kiss Zorii, because it felt too misogynistic.

  • Replaced 3PO’s lines “Whoever this Chewie person is…” and “[Stay on the ship,]” “Happily!” in order to portray him as being more adventurous after the memory wipe.

  • Changed Poe’s and Finn’s dialogue when Rey leaves them to find the dagger on Ren’s ship.

  • Heavily rebuilt the entire sequence on Kylo’s Star Destroyer, in order to avoid the “Hux is a double agent” plotline. Rather than Poe and Finn breaking Chewie out and immediately being recaptured, they now make a daring escape. Their efforts are hampered however when Kylo realizes that Rey & Co. are on his ship. New dialogue for Hux, 3PO, Finn, and Poe, plus audio FX and color corrections, have been added to make this reworked sequence possible.

  • When Rey picks up the dagger in Kylo’s quarters, she now experiences a new vision that reveals both the location of the Wayfinder on Endor, as well as the fact that Palpatine has returned. (New music and sound design have been added.)

  • After the Dagger Vision, Rey’s eyes are now colored yellow to demonstrate that she is being immersed in the Dark Side.

  • Completely rebuilt the confrontation with Kylo in his quarters. Gone are the retcons to Rey’s parents; gone are the flashbacks, and the declarations that Palpatine had been hunting Rey as a child. Kylo’s dialogue has been entirely reconstructed, from scratch – it now further explores Palpatine’s return, and it provides new character arcs for both Kylo and Rey. Rather than trying to become the new Sith rulers (“We’ll kill him, and take the [Sith] Throne.”) Kylo now wants to stop Palpatine from destroying the galaxy – which is more in line with his previous motivations of “The Sith, the Jedi…let it all die.” Not only is this more consistent with his character, but it also makes him more sympathetic, and makes his offer to Rey more enticing. Meanwhile, he believes that the only way they’ll be powerful enough to defeat Palpatine is by both he and Rey embracing the Dark Side. This now gives Rey actual motivation for potentially turning, rather than the oh-so-compelling “You have evil genes” angle in the theatrical version.

  • Completely re-dubbed Kylo’s pronouncements in the hangar using more custom dialogue. Rather than asserting that she has to turn to the Dark Side because “evil is a hereditary condition,” and she is therefore subject to the transitive property because she’s related to Palpatine, Kylo now tells her that everyone she loves will die if she doesn’t turn. This now provides an emotional motivation for her to turn, and effectively sets up Palpatine’s awkward “Only you have the power to save them” monologue at the end of the film. And most importantly, Rey is no longer a Palpatine.

  • Removed Kylo’s mention of “A Dyad in the Force,” because haphazardly classifying their connection at the eleventh hour like this comes across as awkward and recon-y. It’s unnecessary.

  • Moved a scene of Leia up to imply that she’s sensing Kylo’s revelations about Palpatine.

  • Reworked the “Leia senses something” scene to make the scene more about her, and less about Maz. Ridiculous, on-the-nose comments to the effect of “Leia’s about to kill herself, R2” have been completely removed. Added Palpatine’s Theme in the background.

  • Removed the scene of Pryde killing Hux – Hux is no longer a spy; he’s the same loyal weasel he’s been during the rest of the trilogy. (Hooray for character consistency!)

  • Added a new scene of Kylo “hunting” Rey through the Force, which explains how he found her on both Pasaana and Endor. As he searches for Rey, his thoughts are first drawn towards his mother; and we hear that Leia is starting to marshal their forces. (Rather than Lando, in the theatrical version, gathering together everyone in the entire galaxy instantaneously.) Moving past Leia, Kylo senses more of the galaxy fighting the First Order in the name of Skywalker. Finally, Kylo finds Rey just as she’s telling Finn and Poe that they have to go to Endor.

  • Rey no longer swears to avenge the parents she never knew. Instead, she hears new whispers of the Sith tempting her to the Dark Side. New dialogue for Rey, Finn, and the Sith Spirits.

  • Reversed the order of scenes on board the Falcon before arriving at Endor, going from Rey and Finn first to Poe second. Poe’s line “Landing gear’s busted? How busted?” now forms a direct segue into their crash landing. Added an additional shot of Chewie to pad out the scene, taken from the deleted “Lightspeed Skipping” sequence.

  • Removed Rey saying “Only this blade tells” in front of the Death Star, as that line has already been used earlier in this version of the film.

  • Reworked the heroes meeting Jannah, to avoid the nonsensical declaration that Babu Frik told them to meet Rey at that spot. Not only would Babu not know about Endor in this version of the film; but even in the theatrical version, Jannah says they don’t know Babu. So Babu was just blindly sending out messages, telling everyone where Rey was going to go? Was he trying to get them captured by the First Order?

  • Gently restructured Finn’s conversation with Jannah, to imply that she’s heard of him before, and that part of her motivation to leave the First Order was that she was inspired by him doing the same.

  • Changed Finn and Poe’s conversation on Endor, so that Finn no longer claims to know what Rey is going through (he knows that she’s keeping secrets (about Palpatine) from him in this version of the film). Removed the comparison of Poe to Leia, which feels like it ignores Poe’s arc in The Last Jedi.

  • Rey’s evil doppelganger has yellow eyes (VFX by Burbin, although the effect has been made less intense in Untold than it is in Ascendant).

  • Kylo has a new line referencing Rey’s parents abandoning her. Recut their scene in the Throne Room for more dramatic emphasis on this pronouncement.

  • When Finn approaches Rey while she’s dueling Kylo, she now blindly hits him with a bolt of Force Lightning, to show how badly she’s losing control.

  • Completely reworked the scene of Leia appearing to Ben, and Rey healing him. Leia now channels her lifeforce into her son in order to save his life. This both sidesteps the question of “How did Rey heal a mortal wound without killing herself?” And also means that Leia doesn’t just…lose the will to live. This was all made possible through all-new, custom Leia dialogue, new audio FX, and new music.

  • Included a shot of Ben holding Han’s dice before Han appears. (Additional VFX by snooker.)

  • Reorganized all of the different scenes between the Death Star Duel and the arrival on Exegol, for better tonal consistency and pacing.

  • Removed the scene of 3PO getting his memory restored, so that his sacrifice now has actual consequences.

  • Truncated the “Palpatine summons Pryde” scene. Additional shots here have been recolored.

  • Regraded some early shots of Ahch-To to make them slightly more blue in Untold, to better match the nighttime aesthetic used throughout the rest of the film.

  • Removed Luke’s line “a Jedi’s weapon deserves more respect.” We get it, Terrio, you don’t like Rian Johnson. Don’t be a child.

  • Removed both Luke mentioning that Rey is a Palpatine, and also that “It was fear that kept [him] here.” Rian Johnson explicitly made sure Luke wouldn’t have gone into hiding out of cowardice. (New Luke dialogue added to effect this change.)

  • Rey now expresses remorse to Luke about the people’s she’s been hurting throughout film, to explain why she’s so scared.

  • Rather than sensing “the death of her son,” Luke now says that Leia gave up on being a Jedi because she was “needed more as a senator.” Because if she gave up on being a Jedi to protect her son, well… that sure didn’t work, did it?

  • Rescored the ending of the Ahch-To sequence, so that Yoda’s Theme doesn’t play when Yoda isn’t present. It’s the Yoda Theme, not the “Lifting a ship out of some water” Theme.

  • Added new D-O dialogue when he’s talking to Finn. D-O now offers him the information about Exegol, which completes D-O’s mini-arc about finding new friends after coming out of his abusive relationship with Ochi.

  • Trimmed Finn’s and Poe’s conversation, to avoid mentioning that Palpatine had been hunting Rey as a child.

  • Added new 3PO dialogue, to maintain his memory loss when the Resistance receives Rey’s transmission.

  • Moved the shots of Rey flying to Exegol to later in the film.

  • Trimmed Merry telling Chewie “We need you, buddy!” He’s not a baby; don’t be so condescending.

  • Removed any mention, both in the pre-mission briefing, and during the Exegol Battle itself, that knocking out the navigation tower will only trap the Sith Fleet temporarily. The film goes out of its way to establish that the Fleet can’t leave Exegol without that nav tower, so obviously, destroying it means that they’ll be trapped there indefinitely. Plus, nothing any character does during the battle (such as Finn going back when he realizes it’s being rebooted, or everyone leaving once it’s destroyed) makes any sense if they were only expecting the tower’s destruction to be a temporary solution.

  • Added a brand-new sequence of Palpatine giving an inspirational speech to his followers as the Sith Fleet is preparing for launch. Palpatine provides some context for why so many people are there and how so many ships were constructed; and this also circumnavigates the question of “Why were these ships just standing around doing nothing for the whole film if they were ready to go?”

  • Added a new line of dialogue to help establish that the Resistance is looking for the Nav Beacon.

  • Removed the secondary navigation tower from the film, because otherwise the Sith Fleet could just power that one back up after the Resistance leaves and the whole battle would have been pointless.

  • Removed Finn’s Force sensitivity, owing to the fact that the film hasn’t developed that idea in any meaningful way up to this point.

  • Trimmed several instances of characters saying that they only want to hold off the Sith Fleet “until help arrives.” Their mission isn’t to delay the Fleet; it’s to stop them.

  • Sprinkled several shots (color corrected) of Hux tastefully throughout the final battle, to avoid him disappearing halfway through the movie.

  • Removed Palpatine giving any indication that he and Rey could be related.

  • Removed Palpatine telling Rey that he wants her to kill him – the focus of the confrontation should be on Rey’s conflict, not on Palpatine’s contrived plans. (It’s also the one thing he can say to her that would dissuade her from doing the very thing he wants.)

  • Removed Palpatine goading Rey by saying “You are the one who led them here.” What else was the Resistance supposed to do? Let the Final Order escape? This isn’t Rey’s fault. It’s a stupid argument.

  • Mirrored a shot where, due to poor direction, Finn previously appeared to be running away from the battle. Whoops.

  • Trimmed an awkward cut that makes Rey appear to sense Ben before she actually does.

  • Readjusted the timing slightly of Hal’s new Knights of Ren lines when they find Ben on Exegol, to better synchronize the dialogue with Ben turning his head.

  • Added Ben calling out to Rey before she strikes Palpatine. His final word of the Saga is no longer “ow.”

  • Removed Palpatine calling Rey and Ben “a Dyad in the Force.”

  • Added new dialogue to the ending battle to establish that some Sith ships have already left Exegol. This lampshades a plothole where the Sith Fleet still in formation on Exegol, and yet there are several ships already out in the galaxy during the post-battle montage.

  • Removed Zorii from the Exegol battle, so that her giving up the Captain’s Medallion to Poe now has actual consequences.

  • Added dialogue when Rey hears the voices of the other Jedi to include Plo Koon. (Given how involved Dave Filoni is with Lucasfilm, and how Plo is his favorite character, I would have expected Plo to be in the scene already.)

  • Moved Rey’s death to immediately after she defeats Palpatine. This way her dying feels less contrived, and it also lends the Resistance’s victory a somber edge.

  • Removed Finn sensing Rey’s death.

  • Cut Rey and Ben’s kiss.

  • The post-battle reunion scene is completely redone:
    o REMOVED: Zorii is gone.
    o Chewie no longer gets a medal for exemplary fan-service.
    o Lando no longer flirts with someone who was later retconned into being his daughter.
    o Music – Luke & Leia’s Theme is removed, because neither of those characters are present; and the “Lifting a ship out of some water” Theme has also been removed, as they are on dry land.
    o ADDED: The scene has been recut to imply a romantic connection between Finn and Poe.
    o A new moment with 3PO and R2 has been added where 3PO asks R2 to tell him about their adventures together, providing some bittersweet closure to 3PO’s memory-wipe arc.
    o Music – Poe’s Theme and Leia’s Theme have been mixed into the score.

  • Removed the old woman awkwardly demanding to know Rey’s family name, as well as the trite “Rey Skywalker” line.

  • Color corrected several shots of Rey before she leaves Tatooine.

Post
#1472857
Topic
Star Wars: <strong>The Rise Of Skywalker</strong> Redux Ideas thread
Time

Nindroid243 said:

sherlockpotter said:

Something I was thinking about adding - would there be some way to depict the Sith Destroyers beginning to leave Exegol? It would add some decent tension to the sequence (“Guys, it’s starting! We’re out of time!”) and it would help to establish how so many Destroyers have already traveled to other planets for the ending montage, when the whole battle is framed around the idea that “We have to stop them before they leave.” (Except for the one ship that blows up Kijimi.)

It could be easily done by recording a new line of dialogue from a random Resistance pilot somewhere - “Did you see that? Two of them just jumped into hyperspace!” - but I wonder if there’s some way of repurposing footage to depict it visually?

I am also using this idea in my own fan edit/fan film. The Idea is that Palpatine reorganizes The First Order into The Final Order, under General Pryde as leader of the entire fleet. This would work best probably by using The Fortnite broadcast message while ships are being deployed across the galaxy, while Poe and the Resistance are listening.

This is my Rough Cut- https://streamable.com/adrmda I know it’s very poor but it gets the concept of the scene.

Ha! I also wanted to pair Palpatine’s speech with the “Anthem of Evil” music! I like what you’re going for here with all of the ships invading the galaxy. Redubbing all of the dialogue would probably be a challenge, but I’d be interested in seeing how it could all come together! Maybe skipping the stuff with Poe and Merry in the beginning, and just starting from Rose’s “Listen, there’s a broadcast coming through”?

Post
#1472855
Topic
Star Wars: <strong>The Rise Of Skywalker</strong> Redux Ideas thread
Time

jadenkorr41 said:

sherlockpotter said:

Jar Jar Bricks said:

The ships that are destroyed in the planetary sequence are First Order ones.

Nah, doesn’t Palps tell Pryde to join up with the Sith Fleet? I took that to mean that they incorporated all of the First Order assets into the Sith Fleet and they all became one huge force.

Dude, are you telling me that the central conflict they had been building up for two and a half films (the First Order) was resolved off-screen by a bunch of unknown people whom we never meet? While our protagonists were dicking around with a random side mission?

God, I hate this film.

Why would they move all their assets directly on exegol? That just sounds illogical. It’s not so different that in RotJ, the entire imperial fleet was not all present at the battle of Endor. I don’t think it’s that hard to imagine that a sizeable portion of the first order fleet is regrouped on exegol while the remaining ships scattered across the galaxy remained in place.

So no, it’s not a side mission persay. While in TrOS there’s many things that are nonsensical, I just don’t see this as a reason and if at all, one of the major ones.

You’re right in that it makes sense mechanically - that there could still be First Order ships elsewhere in the galaxy. My point is that I don’t think it’s very satisfying narratively. You have two and a half movies building up the First Order as the primary antagonists, led by Kylo Ren and General Hux; and then the finale isn’t about stopping them - it’s about stopping Palpatine (who was just retconned back into existence for this one film) and his fleet of ships, the command of which was given to General Pryde (a new character introduced in this film). From a story perspective, there’s no buildup to Palpatine, Pryde, or the Sith Fleet, and therefore neither the characters nor the audience have any emotional investment in the battle.

Maybe that’s why, in my head, I tried to recontextualize the final battle so that it did involve the First Order again. Which brings me back to my original point that if the First Order has set up on Exegol, I’d also like to establish that the Star Destroyers are starting to launch.

Post
#1472714
Topic
Star Wars: <strong>The Rise Of Skywalker</strong> Redux Ideas thread
Time

Jar Jar Bricks said:

The ships that are destroyed in the planetary sequence are First Order ones.

Nah, doesn’t Palps tell Pryde to join up with the Sith Fleet? I took that to mean that they incorporated all of the First Order assets into the Sith Fleet and they all became one huge force.

Dude, are you telling me that the central conflict they had been building up for two and a half films (the First Order) was resolved off-screen by a bunch of unknown people whom we never meet? While our protagonists were dicking around with a random side mission?

God, I hate this film.

Post
#1472695
Topic
Star Wars: <strong>The Rise Of Skywalker</strong> Redux Ideas thread
Time

Something I was thinking about adding - would there be some way to depict the Sith Destroyers beginning to leave Exegol? It would add some decent tension to the sequence (“Guys, it’s starting! We’re out of time!”) and it would help to establish how so many Destroyers have already traveled to other planets for the ending montage, when the whole battle is framed around the idea that “We have to stop them before they leave.” (Except for the one ship that blows up Kijimi.)

It could be easily done by recording a new line of dialogue from a random Resistance pilot somewhere - “Did you see that? Two of them just jumped into hyperspace!” - but I wonder if there’s some way of repurposing footage to depict it visually?

Post
#1471014
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Docking Bay 54 said:

Burbin said:

Restructured is Hal’s edit of TFA, with a few trims and a reordering of the story it offers a nice improvement over the theatrical cut while keeping the overall look and feel from the original. I recommend it if you like TFA and would just like to see a version that improves upon it.

Starlight is a TFA edit by user NeverarGreat, it has a few similarities with Restructured as Neverar helped Hal with some of the edits, but overall it’s a more radical version that has a lot more changes and additions. I recommend it if you’d like to see an alternate take on episode VII, though a few of the changes don’t align perfectly with Hal’s Ascendant.

Rekindled is a TLJ edit by user Poppasketti, it is very similar to Hal’s Legendary edit as it originated from it, Poppasketti did a lot of work that’s included in both edits as they were developed side by side. I think Legendary aligns slightly better with Hal’s Restructured and Ascendant, though from what I gather Rekindled seems to be a favourite among many users.

But it’s up to you which version of TFA & TLJ you prefer, there’s no “definitive” answer. I personally prefer Hal’s edits as a more cohesive experience, but Starlight & Rekindled are really good alternatives.

Thanks, Burbin! Very helpful! Gonna be looking into some (hopefully) superb PT edits after I get situated with these. Right now, I’m on board with Adywan’s OT edits (-he’s how I found this wonderful site).

Great write-up, Burbin!

Just FYI, Hal also created edits for Episode I, Episode II, and Episode III which are absolutely incredible.

Hal’s kinda a fan-editing legend.

Post
#1469375
Topic
The ‘Custom Special Edition’ That Almost Wasn’t, But Then Was (Released)
Time
  • “As you wish” - Sounds perfect.
  • “He’s not worth anything to me dead” - Sounds good to me. If I’m being really nitpicky, I feel like the emphasis would normally be on “dead” rather than “anything” - like, “dead” would have to be pitched up slightly - but I don’t think I would’ve noticed if I wasn’t deliberately looking for seams.
  • “He’s worth a fortune to me.” - I think the problem here is vocal quality, unfortunately, rather than something digital. “What if he doesn’t survive” is quick and full-sounding and matter-of-fact; but “He’s worth a fortune to me” sounds softer and slower, kind of raspy and whispery and sinister. Maybe speeding up the line a little will help it to match better? But god knows I’ve had to scrap a bunch of potential line replacements myself because the vocal quality didn’t match.
Post
#1465215
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

EddieDean said:

I think those are all good observations worth thinking about, though I disagree with one: I think having Kylo’s prayer early really works. It makes him appear weak and conflicted right off the bat, which I think is a great introduction to the character. This guy looks like a knockoff Vader, in a real-world context he stands in the shadow of Vader, and having his characterisation be that he’s trying to imitate Vader because it’s important to his identity to carry Vader’s legacy is really interesting. It focuses his storyline on the ‘easiness’ and ‘seductiveness’ of the Dark Side, and then all of the characters in his life challenge that - Rey, Snoke, Luke, Leia/Han - until he turns to the light. I think it works for the arc that’s emerged since the release of TROS.

Yeah, different strokes for different folks! The thing for me is, I suppose, I don’t want the main antagonist in a story to “appear weak and conflicted right off the bat.” I want my big bad to feel terrifying… before later stripping them down and breaking them apart (on a metatextual level, not literally beating them up in-story). It would be like putting Thanos’s scene with Gamora as his first scene in Infinity War - that scene works so well because, based on what we’ve learned so far, we don’t expect our villain to act like that. It’s subversive. Or to use an example closer to home, it’s why Vader isn’t revealed as Leia’s dad when he she encounters him on Tantive IV, because it makes Vader less mysterious and thus less imposing. It’s weird, because as much as we all know these films inside and out, we also have to consider what would be the most impactful to an outsider. That’s what I meant when it said it really only works when you already know that Kylo is Leia’s son, and he would therefore be affected by hearing her voice. Because then you’re not looking for mystery; you’re looking for character.

One of the clever things about not having Snoke reveal Kylo’s identity so early is that, knowing who Kylo is adds to his conflict; so by removing that, you increase the tension surrounding the character. But then putting the Prayer so early has the effect of minimizing him anyway. No matter where the scene is included in the film, it’s going to make him appear weak and conflicted; but for me, I think it’s important that a villain be established first before then humanizing them. Especially this film, which is actively trying to set up Kylo as a Vader-wannabe (before being self-aware and turning that into a character flaw).

It’s all subjective though!

Post
#1465205
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

Nev, this is an exceptional edit. It truly is close to being the definitive TFA edit; but, there are a couple of things stopping it from being that… yet. Some of them are technical issues, and some of them are story issues. I’ll go through the things that I noticed in chronological order. And I’m sorry in advance for how long this is going to be. But I wanted to be thorough!

Before I start complaining though, I want to reiterate how bonkers amazing so much of this is. In particular, I loved hearing the Force “Echoes” that Kylo was hearing, I loved how Maz’s was streamlined and made more logical by them not having Leia’s location already. Delaying the reveals of Kylo’s identity and Poe’s survival worked brilliantly on a number of levels. And the new sequence with the shields lowering was absolutely beautifully done. Amazing work!

Now, onto the critiques:

  • Story issue: I think Hal’s opening crawl actually works a lot better unfortunately, for two main reasons: A) The second paragraph of Starlight’s is a run-on sentence, which makes it difficult to read (especially in the brief time before it “crawls” away), and B) The third paragraph, outlining that the Republic created the Resistance - that doesn’t mesh with the later scene of Leia complaining that the Republic isn’t taking the threat of the First Order seriously. I’m pretty sure Hal’s crawl clarifies that the Republic wasn’t doing anything, which is why Leia herself had to form the Resistance.

  • Technical issue: Speaking of the crawl, there’s also a weird audio issue where the first trumpet blast is in mono or something, before the next note transitions the music out to surround. There’s also some weird flickering going on with the black levels during the crawl, that I didn’t notice anywhere else in the edit.

  • Technical issue: The Jakku regrade. I love it conceptually, but it’s inconsistent. Namely, during dusk and dawn. The sand looks too orange during these scenes for me, and it doesn’t feel like it matches the pale, bleached color that it has the rest of the time. Compare Rey bringing her wares to Simon Pegg (which, based on the sun, is happening at sunset) to Rey finding BB-8 (also at sunset). The latter scene is much more colorful. I feel like, for consistency, the sand should be more desaturated, kinda dark greyish.

  • Technical issue: Bass crackling, mainly during the interrogation scenes (both of them). Maybe it’s just my headphones; but I haven’t noticed it in any other version of TFA that I’ve watched, so I’m not sure why it would happen here.

  • Story issue: I would remove the first part of the Echoes during Poe’s interrogation - i.e. the ones heard before Poe is slammed back. For two reasons: A) The final line wasn’t even heard by Poe, and B) Because it negatively affects Rey’s interrogation. Bear with me here - Kylo is able to immediately access Poe’s memories. But, he’s not supposed to be able to break into Rey’s mind. So if he immediately hears Poe’s thoughts, then we already know from the first second of Rey’s interrogation (when he doesn’t hear anything) that he won’t be able to break her. Thus, Rey’s interrogation is immediately devoid of any sort of tension. If it takes a moment to break into Poe’s mind, then we still maintain that tension when trying to break into Rey’s mind.

  • Story issue: I don’t think Kylo’s prayer should be so early. If we’re looking at the structure from outside of the story, it makes sense; because we know he’s thinking of his mom. But internally, it detracts from the pacing of the story, and of the character. The prayer is this incredible moment of vulnerability, which recontextualizes our main antagonist. Put that too early, and we don’t have much of an opinion of Kylo yet, so there’s barely any character defined yet to recontextualize. Additionally, you give Kylo a huge moment of internal conflict early on, and then have him act like “Generic Bad Guy” for the next hour of the runtime. It doesn’t feel like a intricate, nuanced character, it feels like uneven characterization. Instead, I would put the Prayer maybe after Snoke tells him “You’ve never faced such a test” (to compliment Snoke’s uncertainty about Kylo’s strength and commitment); or else it would go nicely after Han & Co. arrive at Maz’s, but before the First Order comes (as if Kylo is praying before the battle. Maybe he even suspects his father will be there, and he needs to steel himself.) Or, maybe after Hux berates him for letting his personal feelings affect the mission.

  • Technical issue: Finn waking up at sunrise doesn’t work for me, I’m afraid, for a few reasons: A) There’s a weird, noticeable glow mask around his head when he first wakes up. B) Again, the color of the sand doesn’t match the daylight color, and C) The lighting jumps instantaneously between shots, rather than gradually brightening throughout the sequence. If you want to keep Finn waking up when it’s dark, keep everything the same until after the TIE explodes; then, increase the brightness during each of the shots of Finn trudging, lost, through the desert. Each of these shots is designed to indicate passage of time already, and seeing the daylight brighten between each shot will only help establish the feeling that Finn has been wandering for a long time.

  • Technical issue: Some of the new music cues aren’t mixed properly. I noticed it at 1:11:55 (Resistance arrival at Planet Maz), 1:53:56 (during the Rey and Kylo duel), and 2:05:30 (the new music added to the end credits). It sounds like it’s going from the surround mix to a mono mix or something like that.

  • Story suggestion: Maybe Rey could hear a snippet of Kylo’s Prayer during the interrogation scene, before she speaks to Kylo directly. It’s not necessary, but it would be a fun way of subverting the interrogation if the audience is expecting to hear Rey’s thoughts, and then we suddenly hear Kylo’s.

  • Story issue: I absolutely adore crosscutting Rey’s escape with Phasma’s patrol. It adds so much tension to think that Phasma is coordinating the whole effort. But! All of this amazing work you did to establish that tension is undone with one iffy cut. When Chewie tackles Phasma, it’s a slapstick moment, and it completely drops all of the tension out of the sequence. Not to mention, we spend so long before cutting back to Rey that we forget she’s in peril. So instead, I would tweak it just slightly to this: Rey triggers the sensor > Phasma says “I won’t tolerate sloppiness.” > The trooper says it’s a false alarm > Cut back to Phasma walking, she says “Acknowled–OOF” as Chewie tackles her > Finn “Follow me” scene > Kylo on Falcon. That way, the slapstick serves as a palate cleanser after the tense moment with Rey.

  • Technical issue: When Kylo is with Han on the bridge and hears Leia’s voice, just one of the Leia clips (“We can still save him”) is stuck on the left channel. Since it’s the only one, it feels like an error.

  • Story issue: After Starkiller fires and Rey and Finn escape, I would drop the music entirely as they run through the forest, only bringing it back in when they hear the lightsaber ignite. You did such a wonderful job of crafting this breathtaking, heart-stopping sequence when the weapon fires; this music here then create a feeling of excitement and anticipation. The music detracts from the feeling of hopelessness, whereas silence - with just the wind whispering across a desolate, empty forest - I think, would enhance it.

  • Technical suggestion: We see Poe enter the oscillator, then the TIE behind him peels off, and then…something explodes behind him. If you cut to the interior shot of the oscillator just a few frames earlier, before the TIE turns, would it feel like the TIE crashes trying to chase him? As it is, I didn’t really know what caused the explosion.

  • Technical issue: Agreed with some of the others here, Rey’s Sith-y eyes don’t really pop. When she opens them, it doesn’t feel super impactful. They need to be much brighter yellow, even glowing a bit.

I’m not trying to be a nagging Nellie here, because most of this edit is indeed incredible. I think if you just address these relatively few critiques, Starlight will become my go-to version of TFA. Seriously, well done, Nev. I’ll keep an eye out for a V2!

Post
#1464790
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Hal 9000 said:

New version of the large 1080p form factor is now available, with the other two encoding now. When all are done, then I’ll update the torrents. (I’m not going to bother with the DVD5.) So that’ll probably come tomorrow or a day later.

And I know I’ve said it before, but this Williams theme will always be associated for me with our time together working on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPyWz2J7ng8

God, I love that theme.

Thanks so much for your hard work, Hal! (That explains why you didn’t want to wait and re-encode it again. 😉)

Post
#1464375
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Hi jonh! Since I know you’re a busy guy, I just want to take a moment while you’re here to say thank you for your incredible VFX work on this project. Having those ghosts during the finale is arguably the biggest redeeming factor compared to the theatrical film - it truly is extraordinary, seamless work.

On behalf of Star Wars fans everywhere - thank you!!

Post
#1463405
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

I’ll echo everyone else and say what a mind-blowing achievement this is. Thank you to everyone who contributed - and especially to Hal for doing such an exceptional job leading us on the journey. It’s been an absolute privileged to have worked with you all over the past year or so.

I’d also like to point out - this is the first time I’ve seen all of the crackly saber effects implemented, and they look amazing! (And Hal, brilliant job with the added sound effects to really drive the effect home.) It’s also the first I’ve seen of the milky eye removal that Nev did - Originally, I didn’t really care about the change either way; but the new version honestly looks so much better.

Just absolutely amazing work all around!

Post
#1463145
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Master Lawdog said:

sherlockpotter said:

DZ-330 said:

Hate to ruin the party… but “a thousand generations live in you now” is still in V2 even though it is in the cutlist.

Oh shoot, does that mean the whole film has to be re-rendered?

Honestly, I like the way how it is. I prefer the line, "You’ll take both sabers to Exegol to be the line that’s removed. It plays out much better this way: “A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you… but this is your fight.”

So the saber line was removed in V2? Honestly, I remember there was a lot of discussion about this scene, but I don’t remember what the final decision was. Maybe this is the version that was voted on, and the documentation just needs to be changed?

As ever, it depends on what Hal wants in the film.

Post
#1462998
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Like hedgesmfg said, that just seems to be Google’s long-standing policy in regards to Drive file sharing.

That said, it’s not unlikely that we’ll have to deal with some delays when trying to download V2 - Google will often put temporary blockers on popular files (i.e. files that are being accessed by several different IPs at once). So just be patient, folks (or wait for Hal to update the torrents). A little longer won’t kill us.

Post
#1462965
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Hal 9000 said:

Well, nothing else to do for the moment but wait a long time for it to encode. Unless I find anything show-stopping, I expect I’ll be able to get the big ‘ol 1080p version up sometime tomorrow. Then the two 720p mp4 versions, and then I will do the DVD5 whenever I can (I’m sure this is the least valuable).

So anyone hoping to make a Christmas viewing out of this, I hope not to disappoint.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/2HaGe8XcMHA?start=383&end=400

It’s surreal to think that V2 is finally here; V1 came out, what, July 2020? (EDIT: November, per Hal.) What are the two different 720p versions, Hal?

Kinda bummed we didn’t hit Page 600 beforehand though, honestly…