RL! Always great to hear from you!
Most of the lines are based on existing dialogue fragments, stitched together and enhanced with AI. Good catch on the duplicate phrase there; I could probably get him to say “We’ll stop him, together…and save them all.” Perhaps that would flow a bit better?
So, for context, here’s how I have the story laid out: at the beginning, Rey has a vision of the Sith fleet during her training session. She doesn’t know what to think. Cut to: Poe, presenting the intel they’ve picked up from Mark Hamill. (I don’t care enough to look up the alien’s name. Was it Boochi or something?) He reveals that Kylo Ren has discovered this Super Fleet on Exegol (no mention of Palpatine). Rey realizes, “Oh dang, this is what my vision was about. We gotta stop him.” Fast forward to Kylo’s Destroyer: Rey sneaks into his bedroom and picks up the dagger, which shows her two things: 1) That the Wayfinder is in the Death Star wreckage on Ender, and 2) That Palpatine is alive. Kylo shows up and tells her, “Yeah, bad, innit? I learned that he was back when I went to Exegol in the prologue. Only the Dark Side will make us powerful enough to stop him.”
But, like, so what? We, the audience, know that Palps was a bit of a dick; but Rey wasn’t even alive during the Empire. I’m sure she’s heard about Palpatine, but it’s all second hand accounts; there’s nothing innately there to make her personally scared of Palpatine. (Yet another reason why “Rey Palpatine” is a godawful concept out the gate.)
That’s why I’m trying to use the Hangar Scene to up the stakes for Rey. Like, yeah, Palpatine coming back is bad, for sure… and it will affect you personally. All this time, she’s been thinking objectively: We have to stop Kylo and the Sith Fleet because that’s bad. We need to stop Palpatine because he’s bad. Now, it’s “If I don’t find some way of stopping Palpatine, my entire world will be destroyed around me; and Kylo says the only way I can prevent that is by forsaking my principals and turning to the Dark Side…”
Which is all to say, in the grand scheme of things, I did try to make this a moment that will have quite an impact on her. Whether or not all of that will come through in the edit… I don’t know. But do you think it feels warranted on paper?
Thank you for the feedback, I always appreciate it!