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sherlockpotter

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31-Jan-2021
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27-Feb-2024
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Post
#1579527
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Ohhhhh! Dude, this is my fault - I haven’t been explaining my vision clearly. Rey and Kylo each have new character arcs in this version. Rey is no longer a Palpatine - her story is no longer about “who she is.” Instead, it’s about her learning to control the outbursts of anger we’ve seen during the past two films, and ultimately will she be able to do so in time to save her friends?

Kylo’s journey, meanwhile, picks up the pieces from TLJ - he’s on a quest to destroy the Sith, not rule them. But the question is, how will he achieve this? Through the light side, or the dark? Who is he, deep down? And I think that it’s perfectly reasonable for Ben to be afraid at that point, even if the script doesn’t say so outright (subtext!) - returning to the light means admitting he’s been wrong all this time, it means acknowledging the terrible deeds he’s done. It takes courage to admit when you’ve made mistakes. So in that sense, “Never be afraid of who you are” applies much more to him now than to Rey.

I think that charts a really interesting journey, personally: TFA is about Kylo wanting to be like Vader, TLJ is about Kylo becoming his own master. Now, TROS will be about who he wants to be, but done in a way where the story builds to that, rather than a switch flipping in his head. Ultimately, the three films together explore his journey from dark side lackey to an independent light side user.

I sometimes forget that this version of the film only exists in my head right now, and that a change list doesn’t really do it justice; but I hope I can share it with everyone else soon, because I think it tells a much stronger story.

(And don’t worry, I’m removing Leia saying the line to Rey - it’s just to Ben.)

Post
#1579470
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

I’d argue that it’s incredibly important to the themes and characters. Leia draining her life to Ben is just bare-bones plot; the reason why she’s doing it is that she believes there’s still good in him. In fact, I think her sacrifice is what really pushes him to finally reject the Dark Side completely; so in that sense, “Never be afraid of who you are” ties up his character arc in a nice little bow. And that, of course, ties into the overall theme of “You are who you choose to be,” which I think is at the heart of the Sequels.

I based mine on TFA dialogue, I think. I thought that was Carrie’s most naturalistic performance (her voice sounded a bit weaker in TLJ); and the TROS scenes were just unused TFA footage anyway. That said, if you got better results with your voice, I’d be glad to give it a listen! You do have a good track record with the AI models, after all. 😃

Post
#1579456
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Yeah, in my version, Rey hurting Finn factors into her decision to run away; but also because I have Leia sacrificing herself to save Ben (from Rey’s wound), Leia now dies fixing Rey’s mistake. Rey is now (indirectly) responsible, because she can’t control her anger.

As for Ahch-To, my current script is:

LUKE: What are you [so] afraid of?
REY: Myself. Leia’s gone, and it’s my fault.
LUKE: Leia sensed your spirit, your heart…

What would you recommend for the Leia lines? Bear in mind that most of it is dialogue splicing, so we’re limited on what she can actually say. (I tried AI lines, but most of them didn’t sound great.)

Why do you think the last line doesn’t work? Personally, I like how it shows Leia’s unwavering belief in her son. And also, by focusing on him instead of Rey in that moment, I think it also helps to push Rey’s shame a little more.

I don’t know, I feel like she should say something at the end, rather than just going limp.

Post
#1579377
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

I’ll be honest with you, Jar Jar, I don’t think I’ll be pursuing the saber flicker shot. The fan editors here with VFX skills are few in number and short in time, and so I’ve been trying to prioritize the shots I need. The ones that are done - and the ones that are almost done - are fairly essential to the story I want to tell. The saber flicker shot, while very cool and very symbolic, is less important overall. It’s also much more involved than the other shots I’m working on, and I want to make the process as quick and easy as possible for the people willing to help me out.

So yeah, I’m sorry that that shot probably won’t happen. But hopefully you find something else compelling in the edit at the end of the day! I’ll go through and update the change list notes shortly.

Post
#1579330
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Hello, it’s time for another 2/22 update!

This marks two years officially on the project; and while it hasn’t been going quite as quickly as I’d have liked, I am very proud of what’s been accomplished so far.

WHAT WE’VE DONE
So, what’s been happening? At this point, I believe that all of the necessary dialogue and audio has been created and organized - over 100 new lines, by my last count! I’ve also begun assembling the overall cut. A few clips have already been posted to the thread and can be referenced below, including a newly tweaked version of the Hangar Scene that incorporates a dialogue change (“Save them all”) suggested by Rogue Leader:

In addition, several VFX shots have been completed (Shout out to Snooker, Maddog, and Dat_SW_Guy for their contributions!), new audio effects have been developed, and several of the more complex scenes already have rough edits in place.

WHAT WE’RE DOING
My current trajectory is to start piecing the film together scene by scene - making a lot of the smaller cuts, integrating new audio - basically all of the tedious detail work. I’m a few scenes in already, and it’s really exciting to see things finally start to take shape. I’ll have some more clips to show as the project starts to stitch itself together, so keep an eye out!

**WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE**
Just because I’m proceding with the main edit, doesn’t mean we’re entirely in the clear. The most important thing is, I still need help finishing two more VFX shots!!! They’re mostly done, but I need help with a bit of tracking, and a small paint out. If you’re familiar with After Effects, please considering reaching out! The edit will be significantly better with these shots.

The other thing I need help with: I’d love more Kijimi recordings - audio to support the idea that the citizens are protesting against the First Order occupiers. The more recordings we get, the better the sequence will sound. Check out the original post for more details. If you can, I would really appreciate more contributions!

Thank you to everyone for your feedback and interest in this project!

Post
#1570901
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

RL! Always great to hear from you!

Most of the lines are based on existing dialogue fragments, stitched together and enhanced with AI. Good catch on the duplicate phrase there; I could probably get him to say “We’ll stop him, together…and save them all.” Perhaps that would flow a bit better?

So, for context, here’s how I have the story laid out: at the beginning, Rey has a vision of the Sith fleet during her training session. She doesn’t know what to think. Cut to: Poe, presenting the intel they’ve picked up from Mark Hamill. (I don’t care enough to look up the alien’s name. Was it Boochi or something?) He reveals that Kylo Ren has discovered this Super Fleet on Exegol (no mention of Palpatine). Rey realizes, “Oh dang, this is what my vision was about. We gotta stop him.” Fast forward to Kylo’s Destroyer: Rey sneaks into his bedroom and picks up the dagger, which shows her two things: 1) That the Wayfinder is in the Death Star wreckage on Ender, and 2) That Palpatine is alive. Kylo shows up and tells her, “Yeah, bad, innit? I learned that he was back when I went to Exegol in the prologue. Only the Dark Side will make us powerful enough to stop him.”

But, like, so what? We, the audience, know that Palps was a bit of a dick; but Rey wasn’t even alive during the Empire. I’m sure she’s heard about Palpatine, but it’s all second hand accounts; there’s nothing innately there to make her personally scared of Palpatine. (Yet another reason why “Rey Palpatine” is a godawful concept out the gate.)

That’s why I’m trying to use the Hangar Scene to up the stakes for Rey. Like, yeah, Palpatine coming back is bad, for sure… and it will affect you personally. All this time, she’s been thinking objectively: We have to stop Kylo and the Sith Fleet because that’s bad. We need to stop Palpatine because he’s bad. Now, it’s “If I don’t find some way of stopping Palpatine, my entire world will be destroyed around me; and Kylo says the only way I can prevent that is by forsaking my principals and turning to the Dark Side…”

Which is all to say, in the grand scheme of things, I did try to make this a moment that will have quite an impact on her. Whether or not all of that will come through in the edit… I don’t know. But do you think it feels warranted on paper?

Thank you for the feedback, I always appreciate it!

Post
#1570831
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Also, I have an accouncement to make - or perhaps, more accurately, a request.

One of my plans for this edit was to retool Kijimi from being a place of passive occupation, to one of active uprising. (I believe RogueLeader had the idea originally.) I have an outline designed, and a rough edit in place; but now I need you. Yes, you!

To represent a civilization standing against their oppressors, I’d like to include audio recordings of people protesting the First Order pressence. Dialogue to the effect of:

  • “Get off our planet!”
  • “You don’t belong here!”
  • “We don’t fear you!”
  • “Down with the First Order!”
  • “Long live the Resistance!”
  • “Stand up! Fight back!”
  • “Give us back our children!” (A reference to an earlier remark about “harvesting the galaxy’s young.”)

Or perhaps more action-oriented dialogue:

  • “Take your hands off of me!”
  • “Keep pushing forward!”
  • “Look out!”
  • “Take cover!”

And the ever popular:

  • “For Skywalker!”

That’s by no means a comprehensive list - whatever you think would behoove an uprising. If you’re interested in helping me out, just shoot me a PM. And feel free to spread it around if you know of other people who might want to participate who aren’t on this thread.

Additionally, I still need help on two VFX shots - please do reach out if you’re willing to help me with that!

Thank you!

Post
#1570830
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Happy holidays, everyone! To celebrate the season, I’ve got a bit of a Christmas present for you all - a critical scene, wherein we establish Kylo’s and Rey’s motivations for going after Palpatine - the infamous Hangar Scene. At this point in the film, Palpatine has been revealed, and Kylo has told Rey that their only chance to stop him is if they both channel the Dark Side. There is a lot to unpack for this one, so you can read my analysis below:

Explanation:

In the original film, character motivations are, to put it kindly, hot garbage. Kylo wants Rey to join him and take the Sith Throne together; but that’s stupid, because why would Rey want to be the ruler of the Sith? (Oh that’s right, “evil blood.” I forgot.) Kylo’s plan is doubly stupid though, because he himself doesn’t want to join the Sith. “The Sith, the Jedi…let it all die.” He wants to destroy them, not join them.

Instead, I wanted to make Kylo’s goals consistent with what’s come before: he now wants to stop the Sith, and specifically Palpatine, from returning. But I wanted to go deeper than that; I wanted to give him some sort of emotional stake in the plot. I also wanted to give him motivation that Rey would also want, so that she has an actual reason for potentially joining him. The answer, of course, is saving Leia. However, if saving Leia is Kylo’s only goal, he’s pretty much already redeemed; so I also have him wanting to save the First Order as well. So, pluses and minuses to joining Kylo.

Making Leia a primary motivation also sets up Leia’s death wonderfully. Now, Kylo is right - if he and Rey don’t work together, Leia will die. And so, when Rey loses control and starts to fight Kylo, her actions inadvertantly result in Leia sacrificing herself - at least in my new version of that scene.

Additionally, I’m using this as a chance to introduce the idea of “Everyone Rey loves will die unless she joins the Dark Side.” This now sets up Palpatine’s temptation during the finale (“Only you have the power to save them…”), which didn’t have any sort of basis or framework in the original film.

Regarding Rey, she too now has clearer goals and clearer stakes - she has to stop Palpatine and save everyone, but she thinks the only way to do that is to join Kylo on the Dark Side. She now has an actual reason for potentially falling, making her fate much less certain. There are also several smaller tweaks here, such as Kylo tempting Rey with promises of “saving everyone,” rather than “conquering everyone” - small changes in diction that make his offer much more enticing, thereby increasing Rey’s moral dilemma.

https://streamable.com/0m2m5g

Post
#1568200
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Funnily enough, my original intention was to cut out that insert shot of the medal - even though I worked on it for Ascendant! Unfortunately, you can still see her holding it during the silhouette shots, and removing it from there is definitely beyond my ability. So she’s going to be holding it regardless; and at that point, I think the insert actually flows pretty well in my reworked sequence.

Don’t worry though, Chewie definitely won’t get the darn thing in the end. 😉


As for the “Ben” line, here’s a version of the scene without it. Thoughts? I’m worried it sounds a tad unfinished - as if it’s missing a period at the end of the sentence.

https://streamable.com/av9qsa

Post
#1567749
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

KumoNin said:

And yes, the shot always felt too dramatic to me. This is more directed at TROS itself, on the one hand they tried to be very sensitive about Leia’s death, and yet that shot with its movement and movie-esque arm going limp plays sort of like drumroll… ta-daa! if you know what I mean. Anyway, lots of love!

I know exactly what you mean lol. What a perfect way to describe that.

I will say that the uncertainty there, initially not being sure if Leia was talking to Rey or to Ben, was deliberate on my part. I feel like resolving that uncertainty - revealing that Leia’s last words to be for him specifically - would mean a lot to Ben, showing him that he was always Leia’s first priority. If she’s saying it to both of them… I don’t know, it almost feels like they’re fighting for her love or something. I worry it would have made Kylo more resentful of Rey.

That said, I definitely see the value in making it more ambiguous too, from a meta perspective. I’ll ponder over it.

And yes, as Hal points out, the dice that Luke gave Leia were fake. As far as we know, the real dice were last seen on the Falcon…

Post
#1566507
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Yeah, that’s where I’m planning on leaving Hux at this point. I wanted to explore the idea of still killing him off; but as you pointed out, it all just felt forced. I actually do have some additional Hux dialogue ready to go, and then I’m going to try reusing some old shots during the finale. Like you said though, no perfect solution. They really did a number on him in the theatrical film.

I do think I want to keep Rey in the scene during the healing process - like I mentioned above, I think it’s a rather pivotal moment for her character. I definitely am curious about the “Ben lives” angle though - it’s something I’m interested in, but I don’t think I have the skillset to get it to where it needs to be in order to work. I’ll be sure to take a look at those other edits you mentioned!

Thanks for the feedback!

Post
#1566401
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Welcome, ildiem! Thanks for checking out the project!

I see what you’re saying. There is Rey’s earlier line with the Snake, “transferred a bit of life”; but I can see where we’d need to establish the jump from “a bit of life” to “the whole life.”

Maybe something like “Rey, please, we can still save him. Let me save him. Bring him home.” Is that still too vague? I don’t want to bog down the scene with too much mechanical exposition, you know?

Post
#1566390
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Hello! This summer ended up being unexpectedly busy for me, which took me away from editing for a while. But, I am happy to say that things are progressing! My main focus has been on enhancing the new dialogue for this edit with additional bits of AI-generated content, splicing it all together in order to get the most natural, emotive performances possible. So far, I have around 75 lines of “reconstructed” dialogue, i.e. dialogue for named characters, whose voices are already established.

To that end, I’m excited to finally present a significant scene that I’ve been working on: Leia’s death. If you’re interested in reading more about my thought process behind these changes, you can do so below.

Explanation:

Leia’s death never worked for me in the film. We’ve seen characters - including Leia herself - use the Force to sense even hear each other across great distances plenty of times before, so I refuse to believe that that’s what killed her. So the only explanation I can see is that Leia, like her mother before her, lost the will to live. It’s stupid at best, and disrespectful at worst.

My goal here was to give Leia an actual reason for dying; and what would be more fitting than sacrificing herself to save her son? Rey channels Leia’s life force into Ben - which also explains how Rey is able to heal a mortal wound without dying, while the same action costs Ben his life at the end.

In addition to the plot logistics, I believe this version is much stronger from a character perspective. Leia gets to have a final conversation with her son, reaffirming him of her love. This then helps to justify Ben’s redemption in the next scene. (Leia: “Ben…” [dies]. Ben: “Oh okay, I guess I’m good now.”)

This also helps to push Rey’s new character arc along very nicely. In my version, she’s not going to fall due to the abstract concept of genetic moral inheritance; she’s fighting against her own innate anger and darkness. At this point in the story, she has lost control of her emotions entirely. In her anger, she stabs Ben when his back is turned, destroying Leia’s efforts to save her son. Leia now has to sacrifice herself to save Ben, to fix Rey’s mistake. Leia’s death is now Rey’s fault, because Rey lost control. It’s no wonder, then, that Rey would flee to Ahch-To, afraid and ashamed of what she’s done.

This scene involved a whole slew of original Leia dialogue, and the score and soundscape have been completely replaced. Feedback is always welcome, especially in regards to the “Force Voice” reverb effect.

https://streamable.com/o63f91

Additionally, just to put it out there, I still need help wrapping up two VFX shots, involving paint outs and tracking. If you have some experience with After Effects and are wiling to help, please reach out!

Thanks for watching! More (hopefully) soon!

Post
#1538008
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

I guess…my thinking is, I don’t really understand the point of removing Hux and then just replacing him with a functionally identical character. There’s no storytelling value in doing it in the theatrical version; and I think there’s even less value in going out of the way to do that again here. And purely in terms of plot, Hux’s death serves absolutely no purpose in the film either.

So, given that, I think I’m leaning towards leaving this scene on the cutting room floor. Overall, I want this edit to feel like a more cohesive follow up to the previous two films; and I think that pointlessly throwing away Hux halfway through goes against that objective. For now, I think I’ll proceed as originally planned, and keep him alive.

Post
#1537465
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Hi all, happy Star Wars Day!

There was some discussion earlier about preserving Hux dying in this edit. (The original plan was to scrap his death entirely, along with half of the Finn/Poe/Chewie escape.) I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and here’s where I’m at:

Hux is shot twice in the film, poor bloke; unfortunately, I don’t think either “shot” (ahem) will work in this edit. The first time, when Finn shoots him, the framing and pacing (and setting) of the shot is all off. It’s designed to be a comedy shot, and I don’t see a way of repurposing it to have the proper dramatic weight.

The second shot also wouldn’t work. Hux is bandaged - which doesn’t make sense if Finn and Poe and Chewie are never re-captured, and Hux never has to break them out. And there’s no way to cut around that costuming, because it’s all one continuous take.

So instead, we’re going to have to get creative.

I’ve been experimenting with the idea of Pryde shooting Hux as part of a coup. This is my progress so far. Obviously, it still needs a fair amount of cleanup before I’m ready to officially include it, especially with the composite masking and the lip sync; but before I waste time trying to do that, I wanted to get people’s opinions: How do we feel about this scene? Does it make sense? Does it add anything worthwhile to the overall story? Will audiences be confused about Pryde’s motivations?

(For context here, I’m planning on moving the Leia scene up in the film - so it would go Hangar Scene -> Leia Scene -> Hux/Pryde Scene.)

https://streamable.com/zeqwdm

Post
#1535251
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

sade1212 said:

I’m excited to see how you’ve managed to achieve that.

You and me both, dude. 😉

It’s definitely hard to say how the Palpatine restructure will play out without having the completed edit. Something about doing it this way just feels right to me though, so I hope it works in practice! In my mind, removing him as the looming threat allows it to feel more like a Rey movie instead of a Palpatine movie. It also helps to drive a greater wedge between Rey and her friends if she’s the only one burdened with the knowledge of Palpatine’s return. Plus, it’s not a reveal that should be tossed in unceremoniously. You’ve got to earn it, build to it.

I just hope all of that will come through effectively!

Glad to see you, sade; thanks for reaching out!

Post
#1528597
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

It is 100% on my list, Alex! Haha

I had no idea more was in the works for Ascendant, Hal. That’s fantastic! Do you have a proposed v3 changelist?

Jar Jar, those new lines sound incredible as always! I do wonder though if it sounds a little…technical? As if Poe were just reading off the Wookieepedia article for the Sith Destroyers. What if it’s a little less specific: “His followers have been hiding something for years - an enormous stockpile of star destroyers from the old empire, outfitted with new weapons and armor. He calls it the Final Order.”