The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP) — Page 4

Hi all, here’s a quick scene that I’m calling my “Throw Finn a bone” moment. Just a few small edits, but I think they do a good job respecting Finn’s character and overall journey.

https://streamable.com/zyjnaq

Happy holidays, everyone! To celebrate the season, I’ve got a bit of a Christmas present for you all - a critical scene, wherein we establish Kylo’s and Rey’s motivations for going after Palpatine - the infamous Hangar Scene. At this point in the film, Palpatine has been revealed, and Kylo has told Rey that their only chance to stop him is if they both channel the Dark Side. There is a lot to unpack for this one, so you can read my analysis below:

Explanation:

In the original film, character motivations are, to put it kindly, hot garbage. Kylo wants Rey to join him and take the Sith Throne together; but that’s stupid, because why would Rey want to be the ruler of the Sith? (Oh that’s right, “evil blood.” I forgot.) Kylo’s plan is doubly stupid though, because he himself doesn’t want to join the Sith. “The Sith, the Jedi…let it all die.” He wants to destroy them, not join them.

Instead, I wanted to make Kylo’s goals consistent with what’s come before: he now wants to stop the Sith, and specifically Palpatine, from returning. But I wanted to go deeper than that; I wanted to give him some sort of emotional stake in the plot. I also wanted to give him motivation that Rey would also want, so that she has an actual reason for potentially joining him. The answer, of course, is saving Leia. However, if saving Leia is Kylo’s only goal, he’s pretty much already redeemed; so I also have him wanting to save the First Order as well. So, pluses and minuses to joining Kylo.

Making Leia a primary motivation also sets up Leia’s death wonderfully. Now, Kylo is right - if he and Rey don’t work together, Leia will die. And so, when Rey loses control and starts to fight Kylo, her actions inadvertantly result in Leia sacrificing herself - at least in my new version of that scene.

Additionally, I’m using this as a chance to introduce the idea of “Everyone Rey loves will die unless she joins the Dark Side.” This now sets up Palpatine’s temptation during the finale (“Only you have the power to save them…”), which didn’t have any sort of basis or framework in the original film.

Regarding Rey, she too now has clearer goals and clearer stakes - she has to stop Palpatine and save everyone, but she thinks the only way to do that is to join Kylo on the Dark Side. She now has an actual reason for potentially falling, making her fate much less certain. There are also several smaller tweaks here, such as Kylo tempting Rey with promises of “saving everyone,” rather than “conquering everyone” - small changes in diction that make his offer much more enticing, thereby increasing Rey’s moral dilemma.

https://streamable.com/0m2m5g

Also, I have an accouncement to make - or perhaps, more accurately, a request.

One of my plans for this edit was to retool Kijimi from being a place of passive occupation, to one of active uprising. (I believe RogueLeader had the idea originally.) I have an outline designed, and a rough edit in place; but now I need you. Yes, you!

To represent a civilization standing against their oppressors, I’d like to include audio recordings of people protesting the First Order pressence. Dialogue to the effect of:

• “Get off our planet!”
• “You don’t belong here!”
• “We don’t fear you!”
• “Down with the First Order!”
• “Long live the Resistance!”
• “Stand up! Fight back!”
• “Give us back our children!” (A reference to an earlier remark about “harvesting the galaxy’s young.”)

Or perhaps more action-oriented dialogue:

• “Take your hands off of me!”
• “Keep pushing forward!”
• “Look out!”
• “Take cover!”

And the ever popular:

• “For Skywalker!”

That’s by no means a comprehensive list - whatever you think would behoove an uprising. If you’re interested in helping me out, just shoot me a PM. And feel free to spread it around if you know of other people who might want to participate who aren’t on this thread.

Additionally, I still need help on two VFX shots - please do reach out if you’re willing to help me with that!

Thank you!

RL! Always great to hear from you!

Most of the lines are based on existing dialogue fragments, stitched together and enhanced with AI. Good catch on the duplicate phrase there; I could probably get him to say “We’ll stop him, together…and save them all.” Perhaps that would flow a bit better?

So, for context, here’s how I have the story laid out: at the beginning, Rey has a vision of the Sith fleet during her training session. She doesn’t know what to think. Cut to: Poe, presenting the intel they’ve picked up from Mark Hamill. (I don’t care enough to look up the alien’s name. Was it Boochi or something?) He reveals that Kylo Ren has discovered this Super Fleet on Exegol (no mention of Palpatine). Rey realizes, “Oh dang, this is what my vision was about. We gotta stop him.” Fast forward to Kylo’s Destroyer: Rey sneaks into his bedroom and picks up the dagger, which shows her two things: 1) That the Wayfinder is in the Death Star wreckage on Ender, and 2) That Palpatine is alive. Kylo shows up and tells her, “Yeah, bad, innit? I learned that he was back when I went to Exegol in the prologue. Only the Dark Side will make us powerful enough to stop him.”

But, like, so what? We, the audience, know that Palps was a bit of a dick; but Rey wasn’t even alive during the Empire. I’m sure she’s heard about Palpatine, but it’s all second hand accounts; there’s nothing innately there to make her personally scared of Palpatine. (Yet another reason why “Rey Palpatine” is a godawful concept out the gate.)

That’s why I’m trying to use the Hangar Scene to up the stakes for Rey. Like, yeah, Palpatine coming back is bad, for sure… and it will affect you personally. All this time, she’s been thinking objectively: We have to stop Kylo and the Sith Fleet because that’s bad. We need to stop Palpatine because he’s bad. Now, it’s “If I don’t find some way of stopping Palpatine, my entire world will be destroyed around me; and Kylo says the only way I can prevent that is by forsaking my principals and turning to the Dark Side…”

Which is all to say, in the grand scheme of things, I did try to make this a moment that will have quite an impact on her. Whether or not all of that will come through in the edit… I don’t know. But do you think it feels warranted on paper?

Thank you for the feedback, I always appreciate it!

Hello, it’s time for another 2/22 update!

This marks two years officially on the project; and while it hasn’t been going quite as quickly as I’d have liked, I am very proud of what’s been accomplished so far.

WHAT WE’VE DONE
So, what’s been happening? At this point, I believe that all of the necessary dialogue and audio has been created and organized - over 100 new lines, by my last count! I’ve also begun assembling the overall cut. A few clips have already been posted to the thread and can be referenced below, including a newly tweaked version of the Hangar Scene that incorporates a dialogue change (“Save them all”) suggested by Rogue Leader:

• Leia’s Death
• Finn’s Legacy
• Hangar Confrontation (New version!)

In addition, several VFX shots have been completed (Shout out to Snooker, Maddog, and Dat_SW_Guy for their contributions!), new audio effects have been developed, and several of the more complex scenes already have rough edits in place.

WHAT WE’RE DOING
My current trajectory is to start piecing the film together scene by scene - making a lot of the smaller cuts, integrating new audio - basically all of the tedious detail work. I’m a few scenes in already, and it’s really exciting to see things finally start to take shape. I’ll have some more clips to show as the project starts to stitch itself together, so keep an eye out!

**WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE**
Just because I’m proceding with the main edit, doesn’t mean we’re entirely in the clear. The most important thing is, I still need help finishing two more VFX shots!!! They’re mostly done, but I need help with a bit of tracking, and a small paint out. If you’re familiar with After Effects, please considering reaching out! The edit will be significantly better with these shots.

The other thing I need help with: I’d love more Kijimi recordings - audio to support the idea that the citizens are protesting against the First Order occupiers. The more recordings we get, the better the sequence will sound. Check out the original post for more details. If you can, I would really appreciate more contributions!

Thank you to everyone for your feedback and interest in this project!

I’ll be honest with you, Jar Jar, I don’t think I’ll be pursuing the saber flicker shot. The fan editors here with VFX skills are few in number and short in time, and so I’ve been trying to prioritize the shots I need. The ones that are done - and the ones that are almost done - are fairly essential to the story I want to tell. The saber flicker shot, while very cool and very symbolic, is less important overall. It’s also much more involved than the other shots I’m working on, and I want to make the process as quick and easy as possible for the people willing to help me out.

So yeah, I’m sorry that that shot probably won’t happen. But hopefully you find something else compelling in the edit at the end of the day! I’ll go through and update the change list notes shortly.

That shot is done, courtesy of Dat_SW_Guy, and it looks amazing!

Yeah, in my version, Rey hurting Finn factors into her decision to run away; but also because I have Leia sacrificing herself to save Ben (from Rey’s wound), Leia now dies fixing Rey’s mistake. Rey is now (indirectly) responsible, because she can’t control her anger.

As for Ahch-To, my current script is:

LUKE: What are you [so] afraid of?
REY: Myself. Leia’s gone, and it’s my fault.
LUKE: Leia sensed your spirit, your heart…

What would you recommend for the Leia lines? Bear in mind that most of it is dialogue splicing, so we’re limited on what she can actually say. (I tried AI lines, but most of them didn’t sound great.)

Why do you think the last line doesn’t work? Personally, I like how it shows Leia’s unwavering belief in her son. And also, by focusing on him instead of Rey in that moment, I think it also helps to push Rey’s shame a little more.

I don’t know, I feel like she should say something at the end, rather than just going limp.

I’d argue that it’s incredibly important to the themes and characters. Leia draining her life to Ben is just bare-bones plot; the reason why she’s doing it is that she believes there’s still good in him. In fact, I think her sacrifice is what really pushes him to finally reject the Dark Side completely; so in that sense, “Never be afraid of who you are” ties up his character arc in a nice little bow. And that, of course, ties into the overall theme of “You are who you choose to be,” which I think is at the heart of the Sequels.

I based mine on TFA dialogue, I think. I thought that was Carrie’s most naturalistic performance (her voice sounded a bit weaker in TLJ); and the TROS scenes were just unused TFA footage anyway. That said, if you got better results with your voice, I’d be glad to give it a listen! You do have a good track record with the AI models, after all. 😃

Ohhhhh! Dude, this is my fault - I haven’t been explaining my vision clearly. Rey and Kylo each have new character arcs in this version. Rey is no longer a Palpatine - her story is no longer about “who she is.” Instead, it’s about her learning to control the outbursts of anger we’ve seen during the past two films, and ultimately will she be able to do so in time to save her friends?

Kylo’s journey, meanwhile, picks up the pieces from TLJ - he’s on a quest to destroy the Sith, not rule them. But the question is, how will he achieve this? Through the light side, or the dark? Who is he, deep down? And I think that it’s perfectly reasonable for Ben to be afraid at that point, even if the script doesn’t say so outright (subtext!) - returning to the light means admitting he’s been wrong all this time, it means acknowledging the terrible deeds he’s done. It takes courage to admit when you’ve made mistakes. So in that sense, “Never be afraid of who you are” applies much more to him now than to Rey.

I think that charts a really interesting journey, personally: TFA is about Kylo wanting to be like Vader, TLJ is about Kylo becoming his own master. Now, TROS will be about who he wants to be, but done in a way where the story builds to that, rather than a switch flipping in his head. Ultimately, the three films together explore his journey from dark side lackey to an independent light side user.

I sometimes forget that this version of the film only exists in my head right now, and that a change list doesn’t really do it justice; but I hope I can share it with everyone else soon, because I think it tells a much stronger story.

(And don’t worry, I’m removing Leia saying the line to Rey - it’s just to Ben.)

Removing Palpatine reverb from the surround channels in the opening scene be like:

Just a little peek behind the curtain! This is from the “Prologue” scene, of Kylo discovering Exegol. Because I don’t want to present Palpatine just yet, it means erasing his dialogue from the scene; and unfortunately, to give it an echo-y effect, the original dialogue was copied into all of the surround channels too. Meaning, I have to get creative to remove all of it without leaving any noticeable cuts.

Hey all, I’ve been thinking about something, and I’d like to get some other opinions: Finn’s Force sensitivity - keep or remove?

Effectively, it’s referenced two times in the movie: once, when they can’t find the beacon thingy on Exegol (“How do you know it’s on that ship?” “A feeling.”); and once more, when Rey dies, so that Finn can “sense” it and react to it (“Rey…”).

First of all, I’m cutting the secondary beacon, because it’s stupid, and self-defeating to the plot of the film. So the Resistance arrives, Finn picks out the ship in question, “How do you know-?” “A feeling.” That’s it. Should be pretty simple to just cut the extra dialogue, and imply that the beacon is showing up on their scanners. Finn’s Force powers aren’t really necessary.

And for the second scene, we can just focus Rey’s death scene on her (and Ben), and cut Finn’s reaction. Maybe he assumes she died in the explosion or something - I’d assume she died in the explosion or something. (Come to think of it, it’s weird that he doesn’t sense her resurrecting, isn’t it? He felt her die, and didn’t get any relief until he physically saw her ship. Thanks for nothing, The Force.)

So, in a nutshell, Finn being Force sensitive isn’t really important for the plot. It’s certainly not part of a character arc or anything. And if anything, I’m worried that it just feels really shoehorned in, based on its complete irrelevance to anything else.

And yet… poor Finn has so little going for him in this movie. I tried to give him a little character moment, but I’d still be sad to cut the one other thing he has going for him in the film.

What’s more of a disservice to a story: a tacked on, unmotivated character beat, or the absence of a character beat entirely?

Oh god, you’re totally right. I didn’t even realize it was a different type of ship. Geez, what a mess.

Jar Jar Bricks said:
Then again, this still doesn’t explain why the Final Order couldn’t just switch back to the radio tower when Pryde’s ship blew up.

Exactly! That’s what I meant when I said it was “self-defeating to the plot” - because a functional secondary beacon means they didn’t accomplish their goal of stopping the Sith Fleet from leaving Exegol.

So does this mean you’re in the “No Force for Finn” camp, Jar Jar?

All of your ideas sound fantastic! (Weren’t you working on a new novelization a while back? Is that still a thing?)

But yeah, for this edit, we’ll have to think a little smaller. I’m not too worried about future movies though - kind of like how I’m handling Rey’s parents, I’m really just side-stepping the issue, rather than explicitly going against canon. If future movies want to give Finn Jedi training, it could be like how Ahsoka handled Sabine, making her a Jedi even though that wasn’t part of her story in Rebels.

I appreciate the feedback! Thank you!

Hi everyone! As a special Easter treat, I have a new scene to share: Poe’s mission briefing. Tricky little scene - remember, one of my main goals in this edit is to delay the Palpatine reveal until it’s dramatically relevant, which isn’t going to be until much later in the film. So I had to come up with an alternative setup that would serve the same function, but without mentioning Palpatine, long-stewing plans of revenge, or “secrets only the Sith knew.” (Look at how much more meaningful the glances between Rey and Leia are, now that they’re in regards to Kylo instead of Palpatine.)

I also took advantage of the opportunity to exposit a bit more about Exegol - who are those people there, where did the ships come from, etc. It’s not super important, but 3PO does talk about it in the background; it should be enough to handwave those plotholes. I’ve also changed Exegol from “the world of the Sith” to “a temple to the Sith,” in order to maintain continuity with the larger Star Wars universe.

I also tweaked Rey’s dialogue slightly, removing “There are cyphers here I can’t read” - the line only draws attention to the fact that the filmmakers had no idea if Rey was reading the Ancient Jedi Texts (which Luke was implied not to have read), or Luke’s personal diary.

This is probably my most AI-dependent scene - there just wasn’t any other way to get the requisite dialogue without it. I spent a lot of time both wrestling with the AI model, and also adding several layers of audio effects in post, to try and blend the AI dialogue as seemlessly as possible with the surrounding lines. Personally, I’m very pleased with how it sounds; I hope you agree!

https://streamable.com/9fl9ns

As always, I’m still in the market for Kijimi lines, and for some VFX assistance. Please reach out if you can!