I like all the above changes and ideas from a few posts above Hal, I am behind those all the way.
The Han Toss I am a ok with. I also like the direction of the “huh” if it can be touched up a little bit. I think I see what Tobar is saying … How many “huhs” does Ford have to work with?!
V2 for me since it’s one less repeat. At least that’s my personal view.
I wouldn’t make them too prominent, the whispers since you are already using them in the cave … I personally don’t see the need to make it more obvious since its the line we want.
I like what you did a lot!
Yes! This is it!
Thinking earlier about the light skipping … I am curious about re-watching the whole exchange with Rey and Poe if you can cut those section out seamlessly.
So for example, when the Falcon breaks through the ice, you can then cut to Rey instead of having the light skipping scenes (Plus the Special Forces Ties able to “chase” them in Lightspeed. I am not saying those specialized TIES can’t have hyperdrives, but the whole chasing them thing was too much.)
They could essentially be arguing about how Poe is basically beating up the ship. I don’t know the dialogue, but all those “Ship terms” could be used since it can be applied to the handling of the ship … especially breaking through the ice!
At this point in my ROTJ project I’m starting to lean toward going with the Yub Nub ending. It makes that film seem less final, and TROS apes its galactic montage.
If so, it seems like we could add one or more planets to this film’s little montage. Just get a plate and mask in Star destroyer blowing up. As it stands we see destroyers (presumably regular First Order destroyers since the Sith fleet never left Exogol) falling over Bespin, Endor, and Jakku.
If this should feel like putting a bow on the saga, probably best to go with at least one planet that appears in each trilogy. It doesn’t seem like Jakku would have people local to risk lives fighting the FO. I have a similar complaint as I do about Tatooine celebrating the defeat of the Empire with such fervor.
What about just replacing Jakku with Naboo? Just find a background plate from somewhere and add the destroyed destroyer in the sky. Come to think of it, maybe the establishing shot that follows the Vader “nooooo” moment in ROTS.
A planet per trilogy is a good idea. Naboo is a great choice since the Saga begins with Naboo. We got Endor for the True Trilogy TM. I can’t recal, asides from Jakku was there another planet shown for the Sequel planets? I don’t recall, I just remember Endor and Jakku.
Gotta admit I didn’t first notice the radios until it was pointed out. LOL. But yeah, since it is re-used footage he looks to his left and the radios are at his right. If there is a way to not recycle so much … this would be a killer thing!
Your work is great, keep it up!
Also, I would certainly try with the audio only changes. You bring up good points and also, it made me think would it be better to be far more subtle than trying to hint at things too much? Probably, especially if you are going to have the Palp Radio Dialogue ThingyTM. Just having the whispers doesn’t really “reveal” or overtly hint at anything. Why? This is a Dark side place, we as the audience know that! So having those whispers isn’t really pointing “Hey, we are hinting something, can’t you tell?!”
As for #4, if you can strike a good balance of not using any or most of the reuse of scenes would be great. Especially lessening Palp’s lines would be key too. I am liking your direction.
I don’t disagree since Alderaan was the impactful one since it was “personal” for a character. Plus, yes, we get it, the bad guys like to blow up planet.
On the other hand, I understand why they want to use that since what is scarier than a power that can destroy whole planets in ease? I get it has been used so much, but what else can raise the stakes?
In Marvel, who is scarier? Thanos with the Gauntlet who can snap his finger and destroy half the life in the Universe or Sandman?
Again just thinking out loud and am not saying yes or no to anything really, just making sure all points are covered!
As for the Chewy thing … that was way too fast, I agree! Would simply removing the scene we first see him with Hux and Pryd suffice? Or, to keep that, would moving that AFTER Rey senses Chewy? That way the reveal is Rey sensing Chewy and we get confirmation a little after that?
Thanks for updating the OP, I like the list! Of course for the sake of discussion and thinking/mauling over these ideas for the next several months to try and incorporate all/most of those ideas, I am curious about working around this one:
'Possibly remove the destruction of the planet, and the idea that the fleet each has a ‘gun that shoots Death Stars.’
The tough part is the way they defeat the destroyers is by targeting those big ole guns attached to those destroyers. Without understanding the significants of those guns and the power they use, then how would targeting them destroy the entire ship.
If the thinking is “Well, they are just big guns like the Dreadnaught in TLJ, we can pretend it’s something like that!” The issue with that then is “Ok, then why didn’t Poe target the big guns on that back in TLJ to take the whole thing down!” Because … that wouldn’t cause a huge chain reaction like a ship that can destroy a whole planet!
Anyway, just thinking out loud!
Yeah communication is one of my many weaknesses. If a person had unlimited hard drive space, one could have the movie LastJedV2.mp4 and LastJediV3.mp4 to be hosted. Sorry that was hard to understand Hal! Me as terrible communicator okie day?
😉
RogueLeader said:
Maybe Palpatine’s plan from the beginning is to get them both in front of them to drain their life force.Good idea; I feel as if this was partially what JJ had in mind but only on paper since it doesn’t come across well. I say partially because Palp’s goal was to live on through Rey, so it was like Plan B for him.
Palpatine’s announcement makes zero sense in the sense he’d announce his army BEFORE it was ready to launch, because that just lures the entire galaxy to find and attack. Now, if he’s doing it to lure Rey there, Death Star 2 style, then that makes a bit more sense.
^^^ If that was the case, let’s say, then the part where Palp’s is so surprised when he got healed that first little bit shut that idea down. If you can remove that part and have it where he does that right away, or at least removes the fact he was surprised by it could sell it. Maybe.
To follow up on my comment, I am more certain of removing the laugh. If you need more time for music cueing and such, maybe even repeat the line later. The first one can be super distorted, I mean super distorted … and then the final one is clearer than the first one.
Better yet, as for timing and all … it can be a super muffled “Find Me” … then a less muffled, a little clearer “Find Me” and the final could be a “Find Me” you already have. Or if timing is not a problem, just have the first one and then the final one.
Another random idea!
While the movie in general felt rather rushed, I feel like the opening scene was even more rushed than the rest of the film. We got one planet shot, then it jumps IMMEDIATELY to the ground, which has never happened in a saga film, since a ship usually transitions the audience naturally from space to land. We get a few shots of Kylo Ren fighting random people, then he opens the chest and immediately transitions to him flying to Exogol. Before we even have time to know where we’re at we’re already gone. I didn’t even know that planet was Mustafar until I read about it later. I originally wanted to cut this opening and start straight with him flying to Exogol, but I had another idea.
What if we created an opening scene that mirrors the opening of The Phantom Menace? Instead of the Trade Federation invading Naboo, the First Order invades Mustafar.
No new footage would have to be shot, but some visual effects could be used to create some new shots.
Opening crawl, tilt down to Kylo Ren’s TIE Fighter flying toward camera, then pan left following as it passes camera (like Republic ship in TPM). Mustafar enters frame, where a dozen Star Destroyers orbit the planet. TIE fighters and troop transports invade planet surface. Montage of Kylo killing Vader cultists. Kylo then arrives at Vader’s castle. Paralleling Queen Amidala watching the invasion of Naboo from the palace window, Kylo stares out the castle window as TIE Fighters fly by and Star Destroyers float above. He then enters another room and finds a stone chest, pushing the lid off to reveal Vader’s Sith Wayfinder.
Reusing some footage from Rogue One (and hopefully some deleted scenes and additional visual effects), you probably could make something like this work and allow the opening of the film to have time to breathe.
That’s very ambitious. When you watch the movie, the whole thing is so random, especially about Mustafar. I had to look it up for that explanation, which honestly … was silly.
I don’t know if it bothers others, let alone if it bothers me, but would removing that opening and doing something else be better? I am not sure what I am really thinking or saying but learning that it was Mustafar that magically got “restored” is funky. But then again, in the grand scheme of things there are far more important things to work on! Lol!
Yep needs to keep the Luke Skywalker has Vanished since well, the opening scene is focused on finding the guy.
As for Hal’s titling, I like it a lot. If he had the space always could simply put a VNUMBER at the end, but hey, we all only have so much space to spare!
Love it, not too strong with the right amount of subtlety.
Better that your previous attempt since robe is not too strong. I dig it.
Yep, that works just right.
4B Seems to me to be the right balance. Granted you lose the exchange between Kylo and Rey, but for incorporating this concept it fits really nicely.
One argument against the radio is understandable that “Palp is a force user, he wouldn’t need a radio!” which is a very valid point. However, by using the radio to communicate it works better in the next movie with Kylo’s and Palp’s interaction. (I am specially leaving out the radio broadcast in the crawl, no matter what it needs to be removed in any fan-edits honestly.)
Why is that? Palp’s reveals he has been all the voices in Kylo’s head the whole time. So by him NOT using the force to communicate with him as shown in option 4C, that reveal has a more impactful reveal in the next movie. Is that a minor thing, since reaching out to him is not exactly the same thing as that reveal, but it still delivers that impact better. Plus the work you did is awesome too by the way.
As for 4B … I am still pondering about the laugh since due to the context of “Find Me” as well as the laugh doesn’t really match up with the line, it feels very “voice-Overed” And this is coming to the guy who likes his laugh. BUT, by using the flashback laugh, you get a subtle laugh that’s in there but not very revealing.
^^^ Generally speaking I am in the same boat as you with that view.
That’s a completely fair point. It was thinking based on what Freezing was coming up with. It’s fine how it is, though the idea earlier about having that scene occur BEFORE the stabbing could be interesting … like a true reason why Leia died using the force since simple communication between Jedi/force users/etc. seems to take like no power at all but this time it killed her.
All in all, meh.
If you were to go that route, you could do something like Neverar did and have some kind of filter on the scene to have a “dream-like” feel to it. It does not have to be super strong, something subtle could be done maybe?
I rewatched the radio part and my gut is still telling me that “less is more” when it comes to Palp’s lines.
Maybe it starts with the static obviously with a very subtle and distorted “Find me”
more static for a bit and it starts to “smooth out?” and has one last “Find me” that is clearer.
Static and then it goes dead.
Hal I like the list. As for the holochess, I am curious with Sir Ridley. I personally didn’t mind the holochess, but I understand people may find it fan-servicy … but Ridley’s approach could be a good “meet in the middle” approach.
I just watched Neverar’s edit and his approach on star killer base and when it fires is a nice approach. Both approaches between the two have merit. For yours, the “climax” of Kylo killing Han with the base firing really packs a punch since in that moment, a beloved character is slain AND the “good” guys for the most part failed. Then we have Snoke say “Ok, let’s target the resistance now” which is the motivator for the X-wings to stay in fight. It works much better than what the original movie had, but still not the strongest explanation, especially since the weapon had to “charge up” again. (This is not a knock against it since your edit’s restructure is INFINITELY better than the original.
For Neverars, Poe finally get into the oscillator to take it out and causes good damage … but the plan failed since it still fires … but because of the damage the base essentially destroys itself. This approach may not have the huge impact as your approach, but there is a bit more of a logical sense in the timing of events and flow of the story. What’s neat about this, is the “plan” was assumed by damaging/destorying the oscillator that’s all they had to do! … but it wasn’t!
So all in all, your approach has the bigger emotional impact and Neverar’s has the more “logical” flow. I like them both.
This is my long response about the “retreat” idea with Poe and the others in space. It’s almost like you gotta go Neverar’s route to add some explanation. I need to watch it again and compare the two!
I am loving it! yes!
Looking really good … really good. I think too just a bit more tweaking. If I was to describe the “robe” figure being shown in “throbs,” I think the third “throb” needs to be toned down a bit since that one seems the strongest. If that was much softer, it’ll help transition to the “robe figure” to the single much better.
Sorry if it is not clear, I am terrible and explaining things …
Those are very fascinating points Rogue, very interesting. Both for motivational reasons, but also a clearer plot. It was confusing regarding the Emperor’s motives. It was first “Kill Rey” to “Nah, I wanted you here.” Granted, one could argue Palps was making multiple contingency plans since … well, the ultimate goal is to having someone strike him down to move on … so who cares?
Anyway, the idea above is fascinating and if it could be done seamlessly would be a neat idea to pursue. We do have an example of line manipulation that worked well with Hal’s TFA Restructured with Finn, it was done perfectly!
Hey pops I know what you mean that scene with Kylo and Rey being a great non verbal. I have nothing against it at all since I agree how good it is. In regards to the radio aspect, I think it has to go unless one could pick and choose which scenes of Kylos up close to be used for which part … but I’m not sure it’ll work cleanly.
Granted you can always just have the radio at the end of it all … kinda random. Lol.