sherlockpotter said:
CaptainFaraday said:
sherlockpotter said:
I was rewatching some scenes from V1 - on the topic of trimming some of Poe’s dialogue with Zorii, I was thinking it might be a really nice, subtle change if the conversation went like this:
POE: I can’t walk out on this war. Not till it’s over… Maybe it is. We sent out a call for help at the Battle of Crait. Nobody came. Everyone’s so afraid. They’ve given up.
ZORII: I don’t believe you believe that. Hey. Listen. [Loop some footage, and bring up the volume level on the background noise, where we can hear some people in the distance calling out “For Skywalker!” with some blaster fire.] They win by making you think you’re alone. Remember? There’s more of us.
I kind of think it would be better to cut “Remember” too, just because it seems like a really awkward callback to some past adventure that we never learn about. (And I’d almost want to scrap the whole “making you think you’re alone” bit too, but we need it to set up Poe’s speech at the briefing later.)
It feels like a gentle way of bringing that “For Skywalker” motif to the forefront for a moment, while also working perfectly with what Poe and Zorii are discussing. We’d just need some dialogue of Keri Russell saying “listen…” and then apply the ol’ “mask filters” to that. Anyone remember a movie or show where she says that?
To be clear, this would go alongside RL’s “Kijimi in rebellion” concept. That audio (that axlanian was looking into) would be what Zorii and Poe would be hearing.
I like the concept, but the conversational logic is a bit wonky if her response to “nobody came to the Battle of Crait” is “you don’t believe that.” Could it be possible to reverse the order of Poe’s lines by cutting to a reverse shot of Zorii to hide the edit? That way, you get “maybe the war is over” followed by “I don’t believe you believe that,” which makes more sense, and I think works nicely if that’s the pause punctuated by the “for Skywalker!” shouts in the distance.
To be fair, I think the whole conversation is really awkward and poorly written. Like the rest of the movie.
How would you structure the dialogue then, though? Zorii says “Come with me,” Poe says, “Nobody came to the Battle of Crait. I can’t give up on this war until it’s over. Maybe it is.” I think that makes less sense as a response, honestly.
The way I see it, it’s not two independent clauses, so Zorii wouldn’t literally be saying “You don’t believe that [no one came to Crait].” I don’t think it’s too awkward to structure it as, “POE: I can’t walk out on this war. Not till it’s over… Maybe it is. [After all,] we sent out a call for help at the Battle of Crait. Nobody came.” The Crait bit is an explanation for his belief that “maybe the war is over”; it’s not a separate, tangential belief unto itself.
“I believe the war is over because everyone abandoned us on Crait.” “No, you don’t believe that.” I think it’s…serviceable. I think this whole conversation is “serviceable.”
At the very least, I think it flows better structurally than Merry’s “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew…?” lol
Ah, I didn’t remember that was the dialogue preceding that exchange. Yeah, that makes even less sense. I haven’t watched the scene in a long time; the delivery of the dialogue could totally change how it comes across compared to me reading it in text form.
I agree that TROS makes very little sense. But I think this thread and this edit prove that sense is in there waiting to be found, smuggled in surrounded by a quagmire of competing nonsense. One scene at a time!
