Hello again peoples
Wanted to drop another video here and see about getting some feedback particularly with the dialogue. Again, I’m using my voice only temporarily, so, aside from not liking my vocal performance, does the dialogue itself work?
Main things I’ve done with this clip:
Altered the music to change the atmosphere of the scene. I’m not completely sold on the soundtracks I’m using BUT it gives the “feeling” I want to convey. I don’t think any of the pieces I’m using are in the same key and I just don’t know enough about music to know if it’s really a problem or not.
Created a shot of Padme not knowing how to respond to what Dorme says. Padmes “then my jedi protector will have to prove how good he is” isn’t particularly bad imo but I couldn’t find another way to cut around the little Obi/Anakin exchange without removing this line.
Cut Obi-Wans berating Anakin about doing anything without consulting him or the council. In this edit, Obi does teach Anakin…but less Master/Student and more like an older wiser guy showing a younger guy the ropes, if you will.
Anakin hears a noise and looks up thinking it could be trouble. I’d like feedback on this too. I’ve liked this idea for a long time but hadn’t implemented it until now. I’d like to know if you think it works…if it adds anything to the scene.
This is where it gets a bit iffy:
-“what are you thinking about?”
-“this is my first assignment on my own…thought you should know.”
Does this exchange work? or what if I cut Padmes line altogether? they walk along in silence for a few seconds then Anakin just blurts out his lines?
-“did you hear what they said about us?”
Did this exchange make sense? Did you find yourself following along?
I could revert his dialogue back to “don’t worry, we have R2 with us” and that would work well with the new R2 shot I’ve added.
You guys are my Brian Trust. What do ya think?