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Smoking Lizard

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17-Dec-2015
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20-Dec-2019
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146

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Post
#890502
Topic
What didn't you like about TFA? <em>SPOILERS</em>
Time

Jay said:

TV’s Frink said:

Rey mentions the quicksand to BB-8 earlier.

Writer #1: “Hey, we need to disappear Poe’s TIE fighter after they crash.”
Writer #2: “Have Rey say something about quicksand in an earlier scene. Done.”
Writer #1: “Awesome! Lunchtime.”

Same deal with Finn and his saber skills.

Writer #1: “How can Finn possibly fight Ren in a saber battle and not get sliced to pieces?”
Writer #2: “Show him fighting a bit earlier with a Stormtrooper who has a saber-like weapon.”
Writer #1: “What value would sword fighting be to a Stormtrooper?”
Writer #2: “It’s Star Wars, man. Just shut off your brain and enjoy the ride.”

Precisely. These are very well expressed examples of contrived screenwriting. Again, just because they slap together an explanation doesn’t mean the explanation makes sense or is good.

Post
#890494
Topic
What didn't you like about TFA? <em>SPOILERS</em>
Time

TV’s Frink said:
Did the sand swallowing the Tie Fighter bother you because you missed it being referenced earlier, or because the desert doesn’t conform to the way you expect deserts to behave?

Doesn’t it occur to you that it just, oh, so awfully convenient that the desert would behave that way right at that spot where the TIE fighter crash landed, despite the fact that there’s crashed wreckage everywhere else on this planet?

And does it also not occur to you that just because a movie “referenced it earlier,” that doesn’t mean that that earlier reference or explanation actually, you know, makes sense?

It’s contrived. Nicely convenient, like pretty much every other event of the movie.

That’s the thing. If you’re in a position where you have to keep saying to yourself, “Well, that’s possible, but highly improbable,” and you’re saying it again and again and again, you’re watching a poorly written movie.

Post
#890484
Topic
What didn't you like about TFA? <em>SPOILERS</em>
Time

SilverWook said:

Says the fellow who was harping on the movie before they finally saw it yesterday?

You’re a moderator of this board, aren’t you?

In this modern day and age where online conversations are quickly moving more and more away from traditional forums over to social media, shouldn’t you, maybe, be a bit more welcoming to new members? Even if they gasp express a different opinion from the masses?

Post
#890477
Topic
What didn't you like about TFA? <em>SPOILERS</em>
Time

SilverWook said:

Which might explain why Poe has to meet some old guy on a remote planet to get the map thingy?

No.

Think about it. At the open of ANH, Leia has the plans BUT HER COVER HAS BEEN BLOWN. Leia did not transmit the Death Star plans to Alderaan or Yavin for fear of revealing to the Empire that Alderaan is cooperating with the Rebellion and for fear of revealing the location of the Rebel base on Yavin. So she did the only thing she could think of – stuff the plans in a droid and then order the droid to carry the plans to someone she believed sympathized with her cause. THIS IS WHY LEIA COULD NOT USE ELECTRONIC TRANSMISSIONS TO SEND ON THE DEATH STAR PLANS.

In TFA, the Von Sydow character already established a communication link with Leia, thereby already potentially exposing the location of the Resistance planet (assuming it was also a secret kept from the First Order). So…why not just send on the map in that transmission?

Post
#890462
Topic
What didn't you like about TFA? <em>SPOILERS</em>
Time

SilverWook said:

You remind me of a guy I used to know who often insisted the Rebel spies could have simply sent the Death Star plans as an email attachment. 😉

Um…they did? The Rebel spies emailed the plans to Princess Leia…remember?

“Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you…”

Beam = Email

Post
#890436
Topic
What didn't you like about TFA? <em>SPOILERS</em>
Time

Considering the subject of this thread, I am going to assume I can post what I do not like about TFA without being accused of being a “troll.” I just caved and saw the movie yesterday. Here’s what I did not like:

  • Von Sydow’s character required someone to travel IN PERSON to Jakku to receive the map, rather than just transmit it encrypted to Leia.

  • Instead of covertly sending an intelligence officer under deep cover to retrieve the map, Leia sends a pilot. In uniform. In an X-Wing.

  • On Jakku, Kylo Ren and the rest of the First Order round up the villagers. Instead of saying to Poe, “Tell us where the map is or we’ll kill these villagers,” Ren orders Poe onto his ship and then orders the villagers murdered for the sport of it.

  • The blaster bolt suspended midflight and hanging in the air until Ren “coolly” released it.

  • Kylo Ren and the First Order round up the innocent villagers and are setting the village on fire. When Kylo comes to question Poe, Poe deems it appropriate to crack jokes at Ren. No, Poe, don’t, you know, maybe BEG for mercy for the villagers and insist that they’re innocent. Nah. Crack jokes instead.

  • So Kylo Ren is Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader’s grandson? Kylo Ren, in private, “prays” to his grandfather to “show him the way” to resist the pull of the light side of the Force. Um, hello? Anakin Skywalker is probably the WORST person to ask for advice on how to resist the light side?

  • Anakin Skywalker is Kylo Ren’s grandfather, yes? So Anakin, a redeemed Jedi, couldn’t appear as a Force ghost to Ren years earlier as Ren was turning to the dark side and, you know, maybe try to talk him out of it? You know, appear to Ren as a ghost the way Obi Wan did multiple times to Luke?

  • If you’re saying right now, “Well, maybe he did and Ren resisted him!” Why, then, is Ren asking Vader for advice on how to resist the light?

  • So Finn helps Poe escape. Finn, by the way, is a janitor (yes…JANITOR!) stormtrooper who was abducted as an infant by the First Order and raised to be a stormtrooper. Because raising soldiers for your evil cause from infancy is easier than just using recruits. I mean, yeah, recruits worked for the Nazis, the Khmer Rouge, imperial Japan, Al Qaeda, Stalin, and ISIS but they would NEVER work for the First Order. Abducting babies is much easier.

  • OK, so we escape. Suddenly the new and improved First Order TIE fighters are two seaters.

  • The TIE fighter gets shot and then crash lands on Jakku. CONVENIENTLY close to Rey’s settlement.

  • The TIE fighter CONVENIENTLY gets eaten up by the desert. Because, yeah, the desert eats stuff all the time.

  • But there’s other crashed junk all over the place that hasn’t been swallowed up by the desert.

  • Finn runs to the settlement, where he conveniently bumps into Rey who conveniently has found BB-8.

  • So BB-8 tells Rey that that random dude is wearing my master’s jacket – or, well, a jacket that looks just like my master’s jacket. So Rey runs over and smashes him in the face with a blunt weapon.

  • Hey! Now we’re friends!

  • Oh no! The First Order is on to us! They’re chasing us!

  • Let’s run for that “Quad Jumper”! But we need a pilot? Don’t worry! I can PILOT ANYTHING! Including the Millenium Falcon!

  • How did you learn to fly the Millenium Falcon? I found a flight simulator! And the flight simulator taught me how to fly that type of craft!

  • Oh, no! The Quad Jumper was blown up by the First Order! Don’t worry! The Millenium Falcon is right over there! Yes, in this entire wide galaxy, how entirely fortunate that Kylo Ren’s father’s ship just happens to be right here!

  • And the door is open! Gee, I wonder why the pawn broker had enough sense to throw a tarp over the MF but not bother to close the door?

  • Ah, well! Let’s run inside! Won’t the First Order blow this ship up, too? Nah.

  • OK, I just started up the Millenium Falcon! Wait! Doesn’t it have some kind of security on the starter? After all, even my 1977 Ford Pinto required a KEY TO START! Nah! I just started it up!

  • Damn! Look at me! I can fly the MF at least as well as Han Solo…even though I never had before. IT’S THE FORCE! Yes, every other Jedi alive – including Anakin – had to be TRAINED to use the Force, but NOT REY! SHE’S SPECIAL!

  • OK, we’re in space now! We ditched the First Order somehow…but oh no! We’re captured…by Han Solo!

  • Who just so happened to be in the neighborhood, actively looking for the Millenium Falcon…at the age of 70 something years old. Sure he was a general once who led the Rebellion to maybe the greatest victory in the history of the galaxy, but now, at the age of 70, he’s back to being a smuggler.

  • OK, now Han is going to take Rey to his Force-sensitive mentor. But Han! Back in the 1977 movie, you insisted you didn’t believe in the Force! Um, oh yeah. Forgot about that.

  • Gotta love the trite, “I can see who you are by looking into your eyes,” bullsh*t. I mean, because that’s SOOOOOOO original.

  • Also gotta love that crawling across the table and switching the lenses in the goggles to amp up the magnification or whatever. Yeah, that wasn’t contrived.

  • Oh, hey! By the way, I’m Maz and I somehow have Luke Skywalker’s lighsaber in a wooden box downstairs in my dungeon! How did I get it, you ask? Oh, that’s a story for another time (TRANSLATION: The writers don’t know yet, either).

  • Somehow Rey just stumbles on the box with the lightsaber. I know, I know – the Force. Uh huh.

  • So now Finn has the lightsaber and Rey is randomly running around the woods because she’s upset or something.

  • Oh, hey! Look at that! We can see the blast rays from the Starkiller base, which is light years away!

  • The Starkiller base is able to blow up planets many light years away because, wait for it, its blasts travel through hyperspace to arrive at their targets! Not making this up.

  • Oh no! The First Order found us here on Maz’s planet! Oh no! Rey is captured and Ren doesn’t give a rat’s butt about BB-8 and the ACTUAL MAP anymore because he can torture the map out of Rey’s brain. Because, yeah, her cursory look at the map somehow enabled it to be perfectly imprinted on her brain.

  • Oh, yeah! What about Poe Dameron? Why did he just leave Jakku without finding BB-8 first? It was a critical mission AND HE JUST LEFT?! When he got back to the Resistance planet did Leia come up and say, “Well?” and he said, “Well, what?” and she said, “Did you get the message I sent you to retrieve?” and he said, “Oh, snap!”?!

  • So Rey is captured. She hasn’t figured out that she can already use the Force yet. Give it about 10 minutes and she’ll have it figured out.

  • So Ren’s secret darkest fear is that he will never be as powerful as Darth Vader? Puh-lease.

  • Han and Leia repeatedly refer to Ren stiltedly as “our son” and not simply his name.

  • Leia’s stilted dialog: “It was Snoke who seduced our son to the Dark Side of the Force.” Ugh.

  • Oh, yeah…and Snoke is a laughably bad CGI character. One that looks a hell of a lot like the trite old “big head alien” from alien abduction movies.

  • Yeah. Snoke is a bad CGI character. And he’s, like, one of the two main villains. Read that again. A main villain is a CGI character. Jar Jar, anyone?

  • And the command center of the First Order doesn’t look very military. Looked more like a Comcast customer care call center. In TESB, Lucas hired very experienced British stage actors to play the roles of the key imperials – Ozzel, Piett, Needa, and Veers – and they delivered a very “professional military” performance. These guys? Not so scary.

  • Temper tantrums make someone a bad guy! Get bad news? Tear sht up with your stupid lightsaber! A key prisoner escaped? Tear sht up with your stupid lightsaber!

  • Why the hell is Ren wearing a mask, anyway? Because it’s cool? Does he sleep with it, too?

  • So the galaxy has gone to hell in a hand basket…and Luke has gone into hiding? Never mind, you know, maybe helping the Resistance, you know, RESIST?

  • So in 30 years Luke trained ZERO new Jedis? Ren somehow killed them ALL?!

  • But failed to kill Luke?

  • Hey, we have to blow up the Starkiller base! No problem. We’ll just land on the planet and blow up the shields! But how will we get through the shields to begin with? We’ll just come out of hyperspace inside the shields? Why hadn’t we ever done that before? Um…because!

  • How many times is the MF going to scrape along the ground, scrape across rocks, and fly through trees without, you know, blowing up?

  • Oh, hey, now we’re going to crash. No, not really. We’ll just skid along the snowy surface. And…wait for it…wait for it! Yep! Here comes a cliff! And wait for it…wait for it…errrt! We stopped just at the edge of the cliff! Never saw that before!

  • We have X-Wing pilots who don’t look like military pilots. The female pilot especially…not because she’s female, but because she carries herself as a college student enjoying a theme park ride.

  • Rey kills Han. Thank God. Not because it was a good story element, but because at least it spares us from having to see an 80 year old Han Solo in the future.

  • We have C3PO literally calling play-by-play during the battle!

  • Hurray! We blew up the Starkiller base! How? Who cares?! An oscillator or something. Who cares?! It’s blown up! Yay!

  • And even better! Somehow all the main characters somehow manage to escape the planet blowing up! Sure is a good thing the First Order was somehow able to pick up Ren from the surface and get him off the planet before the planet blew up! How wonderfully convenient!

  • Oh, by the way, Ren got his butt kicked by Rey…who just suddenly, out of nowhere, learned how to use the Force and a lightsaber. How convenient!

  • Oh! And why didn’t Rey just kill him?! Because a rift in the planet formed just at the right second! Phew! That was CLOSE! We almost lost our super “cool” villain!

  • Hey look at that! R2-D2 just woke up somehow. Maybe Luke woke him up or something. Because “Now is the right time. The time was not right before now…” Since when did Luke become so melodramatic?

  • We land on a planet…

  • …and bring Luke his lightsaber.

  • Roll credits. Thank God.

Post
#889298
Topic
Episode VII: The Force Awakens - Discussion * <strong>SPOILER THREAD</strong> *
Time

DominicCobb said:

Exactly my point! You can know a candidate’s worth just by reading a list of their policies on paper. You don’t have to meet them. Whether or not they’re fun in person doesn’t matter. But a movie is all about entertainment, fun… you know? You cannot POSSIBLY know how much fun a movie is without seeing it.

I suppose it all boils down to how one judges a movie…what makes a movie good or bad. To me, a movie is made or broken by its story, as I mentioned above. If the story is bad, in my mind, the movie is bad – no matter what else the filmmaker does. That’s just me, of course. I remember once telling someone that I thought Michael Bay’s Transformer movies were bad because I felt the stories were silly. He told me that story didn’t matter to him; to him it was all about “robot carnage.”

To each his own, I suppose.

Post
#889296
Topic
Episode VII: The Force Awakens - Discussion * <strong>SPOILER THREAD</strong> *
Time

DominicCobb said:

Story and plot are two different things. And anyway, if the plot of TFA is just the same as ANH (which it isn’t) then it’s not a bad plot at all.

No disrespect, but I really don’t think you understand this concept.

Bottom line though, if you haven’t seen the film, criticizing the options of those who have is simply ridiculous. I have no time for your bullshit. Move along.

Fair enough. It’s a discussion board. About movies. Not politics, philosophy, social justice, or religion.

It’s entertainment. For fun…you know? But certainly, you’re not required to contribute to the discussion if you don’t want to.

Post
#889290
Topic
Episode VII: The Force Awakens - Discussion * <strong>SPOILER THREAD</strong> *
Time

towne32 said:

All of these things together make the film what it is.

Yes. I understand. But to me the story is the foundation of the movie. A house with a bad foundation cannot stand. It’s a bad house. It does not matter what colors you paint the walls, how thick the carpet is, or how fancy the kitchen appliances are – it’s a bad house.

A movie with a bad story is the same. Bad.

Your criticism popped up very early on when you read a bullet point list of steps that are similar to ANH. Yes, when it’s stated like that it sounds awful. But, aside from Starkiller, they felt like polite nods to 1977 while a new story was being told.

No, actually I wrote that bullet point list. And it still holds up. I could add to it all the silly, contrived conveniences in the film, too, which I didn’t bother to do. If you enumerate the very long list of silly conveniences that occur in the story and then evaluate them with an entirely open mind (which is entirely vital), I don’t see how any reasonably intelligent person can’t arrive at the conclusion, “OK, yeah. This is pretty stupid.”

And forget that these conveniences have been explained. That’s another logic trap that people keep falling into. Just because a movie “explains” something doesn’t mean the explanation makes sense or is, you know, good. Any amateur writer can slap together an “explanation.”

Whereas TPM felt like a let down that ‘oh well, at least it has a few key moments that worked’. This felt like one of the first action adventure films in recent years with actual heart to it, with some definite flaws that could be tightened up. It will probably adjust in people’s rankings (most likely, from ranking right above Jedi to right under), but I suspect that its legacy will not be that it was a major misstep, but rather a return to glory that was just a bit too safe. The long term opinion is going to depend somewhat on what the next two films do, though.

Time will tell. I’m convinced that as more open discussion comes out, people’s attitudes will change. We have to get through all the euphoria, zealotry, and logic fallacy defenses first, though.

Post
#889282
Topic
Episode VII: The Force Awakens - Discussion * <strong>SPOILER THREAD</strong> *
Time

towne32 said:

You still haven’t seen the film, right? So I can keep ignoring you? This film was absolutely nothing like TPM. Many, MANY of us were critical walking out of TPM. The people you see gushing in the videos after the premiere were selected because of their reactions. And I’ll bet many of them (the adults at least, such as Kevin Smith) still love the prequels today.

Understand, I am not criticizing the acting, the direction, the cinematography, the special effects, the editing, the audio mix, or the score.

I’m criticizing the story. One does not need to see a movie to know and comprehend its story.

The people were selected because of their reactions? Well, sure. That, however, does not belie that TPM made $1.45 billion worldwide in 2015 dollars, more than “Frozen” did in 2013, which was and is a major phenomenon. Clearly people loved it. At the time.

I suspect you may be looking back and judging TPM with a set of “after-the-fact” eyeglasses.

Post
#889274
Topic
Episode VII: The Force Awakens - Discussion * <strong>SPOILER THREAD</strong> *
Time

ZkinandBonez said:

Also, no one, or at least very few people, here on the forum have hailed it as the “best movie ever!” People seem to either say “it had flaws, but I really liked it,” or “it had flaws, therefore I really don’t like it.”

That’s a good point.

I strongly suspect that when the euphoria is over, the fans here and elsewhere will finally come to realize that its “flaws” were actually really, really silly failings. Fans will be able to see the forest for the trees and it will dawn on them – slowly, perhaps – just how bad this movie is.

Post
#889270
Topic
Episode VII: The Force Awakens - Discussion * <strong>SPOILER THREAD</strong> *
Time

TavorX said:

Finally, all these years later, when we see TFA, I couldn’t believe it. He was laughing, tearing up, and genuinely looked like he was having a blast! So I dunno man, for as long as I’ve known my dad, he never bought into that hype of the prequels. Did he recognize the flaws of TFA? Sure. But overall, we were geeking out over the film of how fun it was!

Emphasis added. I suspect your father is in his 40s. That’s when us older guys really start getting overwhelmed by the awareness of our own mortality. Our children are now adults. The fun times of our own childhoods are long gone. Old age is fast approaching us. When we were young, two years seemed like an eternity. Now, we remind ourselves, “I really need to get a new battery for my watch,” and then suddenly realize, “Holy crap! My watch went dead two years ago!”

Your father was suffering the cruel tugs of nostalgia. Nothing more. And that’s what so terribly gratuitous about this movie: It’s nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia.

Post
#889260
Topic
Episode VII: The Force Awakens - Discussion * <strong>SPOILER THREAD</strong> *
Time

I suspect that “The Force Awakens” will follow the same path as “The Phantom Menace.”

When TPM opened, fans were raving, gushing, ranting about it. Fans were describing it as “awesome,” “amazing,” “sensational.” Some even saying, “Best movie EVER!” Fans everywhere were saying, “I loved it!”

Soon enough, though, the euphoria started to wear off and the fan base started to sober up. Hardened longtime fans had already taken to the Internet to point out the ridiculous nature of TPM’s plot elements: Jar Jar, 8-year-olds accidentally saving the day, midichlorians, the “convenient” coincidences, etc. These early bashers were initially met with ridicule and contempt. Supporters of the movie employed all sorts of logic fallacy to defend the movie: “Obviously you’re WRONG because the movie is making so much money!” When critics pointed out all the silliness, supporters were quick with ridiculous ad hoc reasoning to “explain” weaknesses of the film.

It was all initially fueled by hunger and nostalgia of the fans for more Star Wars movies. Fueled by the hope that Star Wars wasn’t over, that the franchise had a new future. More movies, more merchandise, more excitement, more fun.

But finally the honeymoon ended and the fan base completely came to their senses. They realized TPM is simply an awful movie that largely wrecked the franchise.

And so, rinse and repeat. Here we are today, with an equally bad movie. As critics point out the laughably ridiculous flaws, defenders rush in with contrived ad hoc reasoning to “explain it all away,” and, even better, launch all sorts of ad hominem attacks against the critics.

It’s just movie! The Force made it happen! It’s science fantasy, not science fiction! It’s Star Wars! Blah, blah, blah.

Sigh

Post
#887107
Topic
The Force Awakens: Official Review Thread - ** SPOILERS **
Time

OK, guys, I have some questions.

Full disclosure: I have not seen the movie. So I am trying to be fair.

But isn’t this a case of the Emperor is wearing no clothes?

It seems pretty clear that the plot on paper is just a blatant carbon copy of the original movie. Sure, there are some tangential differences, but the essential elements of the movie are identical to the first film.

So knowing this, how can anyone still say this is a good movie?

I understand the practical effects are great, the costumes are great, the special effects are great, and that it’s better than the prequels. I get that. But even knowing and accepting that, how can a carbon copy movie be considered “good”? Aren’t those concepts mutually exclusive?

Why isn’t there more outrage? Why isn’t there a sentiment that, “Hey! We’ve been ripped off! Conned!”

Isn’t this very much a case of parents re-wrapping last year’s Christmas presents?

I’m not being facetious. I’d really like to understand the perspective of other fans, especially those who agree with me that the movie is a copy of ANH but still say it’s good.

Post
#886750
Topic
Episode VII: The Force Awakens - Discussion * <strong>SPOILER THREAD</strong> *
Time

I really don’t want to sound argumentative or terribly cynical, and I understand that so many fans really want to like this movie, but seriously, I have to say, at this point, knowing what we know how can anyone suggest this movie is good?

I wonder at times if everyone in society has collectively lost his mind.

This movie is clearly a cheap ripoff. A con. A money grab. A bait and switch.

  • The Empire was defeated in the original trilogy. No problem! We have a new, improved empire! Complete with an evil guy in black robes, scary mask, and red light saber!

  • You like cool stormtroopers? Snowtroopers? WE GOT 'EM! The Empire 2.0 has got oodles of stormtroopers!

  • How did the Republic allow the Empire 2.0 to come into existence? Who cares! It’s a movie! Please don’t answer, “How did the original empire come into existence?” Because the answer is simple – a corrupt politician seized the existing legal republican government, a la Adolf Hitler, that’s how. So did the new Republic make the same mistake? No, because the new Republic still exists in this new universe. So WTF? Oh well…who needs things to make sense?

  • So we have a cute, plucky little beachball droid carrying a secret message being hunted by the bad guys. Uh, wait…isn’t that just a straight, cheap ripoff?

  • So we have an Force-sensitive, unknown orphan who grew up on an entirely desert planet who is unaware of her vast potential. Um, hello? Again, cheap ripoff copycat?

  • By the way, I thought even Force-sensitives had to be TRAINED to use the Force before they can?

  • So the Empire 2.0 has stormtroopers, but they’re not clones…and they’re not conscripts or recruits. So the Empire 2.0 breeds them? From birth? So the Empire 2.0 has some vast wing of babies being birthed to become stormtroopers somewhere? How else do you explain that “Finn” does not have a name?

  • Why is it that in a galaxy populated by trillions of people, we keep bumping into the same four or five over and over, no matter where we go? And the same goes for spaceships, too. How awfully convenient that the Millenium Falcon just happens to be on the desert planet that Rey is on? And how awfully convenient that Han Solo decides it’s a good idea to take back ownership of the Falcon at the age of, what, 70?

  • So the Empire 2.0 has an even bigger, badder Death Star. It blows up stars! But it’s on a planet…so it cannot travel from place to place in the galaxy…so it shoots its laser or plasma or whatever blasts from light years away and the blast travels and travels and travels across the galaxy to hit its target? What does the laser blast make the jump to hyperspace itself to get to its target in due time?

  • I mean, really? The Death Star thing all over again? Really? And somehow the First Order/Empire 2.0 is capable of making a weapon even more powerful that the Death Stars, despite the fact that it’s not the ruling government of the entire galaxy?!

  • And really, like, say, 10 or 20 years before this movie is set there was NO ONE in the Republic saying, “Hey, guys! A bunch of copycats are restarting the Empire! They’re building star destroyers and TIE fighters and maybe a planet killing machine thing! We need to stop them!”?!

  • And really, Rey thinks the Jedi and all that jazz is “legend.” Um, hello? That war was only 30 years ago! That would be like saying the events of 1985 are just perceived as “legends” today in 2015. Please. Yeah, WWII was just a legend. Right.

  • SURPRISE! The bad guy is Han and Leia’s son! Wow! Never saw that coming! What a huge reveal!

  • Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Academy is wiped out, SO HE LEAVES?!? GOES INTO HIDING?! When there’s a perfectly safe Resistance planet he could have gone to to help out in the fight?! Don’t tell me Obi Wan went into hiding, because he didn’t. He took Luke to safety on Tatooine and then guarded over him because he knew that the only person who could possibly sway Darth Vader back to the light was Vader’s son.

  • Leia gets word that there’s a lead as to where her brother is…so she sends her best PILOT to collect the intel? Yeah, because when there’s important information to be collected in Iraq or Syria or Russia, President Obama sends his best F-16 pilot.

  • Han Solo: “Hey, Finn, I hear you have some really important information to get to Leia. I mean, we could just, you know, do one of those video chats that we do all the time, but, nah. We’ll go there in person. In the Millenium Falcon. BUT FIRST! We have to make a pitstop at a bar in a castle so you can meet my old Force sensitive mentor!” Finn: “But Han! In the first movie released in 1977, you told Obi Wan that you didn’t believe in the Force! That you had traveled from one end of the galaxy to the other and just concluded it was just ‘simple tricks and nonsense.’” Han: “Um…oh yeah.”

Stupid. Effing stupid. Completely cheap and stupid. Insulting to the intelligence. There should a huge public outcry. Outrage! Instead? 99% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes!