Right? I had actually been rewriting Kylo’s dialogue throughout the film with a similar idea in mind as DZ. But after reading y’all’s convo, I think his motivation just could be clarified a little more. Luckily it is really only one or two lines.
If you wanted to just strengthen the current/theatrical plan, you could have Palpatine say something to Rey like, “Only the strongest can rule.”
Basically, having them fight only benefits Palpatine. If one kills the other, then nothing would stand in the way of him possessing the survivor. And whoever survives would be the stronger vessel. And Palpatine frames it as a test. Testing their skill and strength to see who can be the rightful heir.
“I never wanted you dead. I only wanted the strongest to rule.”
“Only the strongest can take the throne.”
Idk, something like that.
I’d like to hear from all of you which of these Poe lines sound the best? Also, which ones might pair together well?
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/107YPYFjOXKBXthoIZl14wJ0OD0RyUjl7?usp=sharing
Please keep in mind that the background noise of some these is a little wonky, but ignore that. RL has the software that can make it clean.
In my opinion, #3 from each sound nicely when paired together.
I do think 3 sounds the best out of these options.
This is cool! The new changes feel very seamless.
In this context, Luke is saying that Leia knew Rey has a good spirit and heart because their bond was stronger than blood. I don’t think it is a non-sequitur.
Luke’s basically saying, “Leia saws those dark vision of you too, but she trained you anyway, because she saw your true spirit. She knew the real you, because your bond was stronger than blood.” That’s the idea at least.
I kinda think that scene is already pretty thin and short, I don’t know personally if what you gain from adding this Leia line is enough to cut out a couple of the back and forths and making it even shorter.
Whereas in a Rey Nobody you kind of have no choice but to cut it down. Speaking of, what was the alt line we landed on for this? “Leia sensed your struggle with the dark side”? Can you add that to the google drive?
I agree with you that I think the scenes would be better served if we keep as much of it as possible. The more you trim, the more edited it feels.
I actually disagree that it has to be cut down at all for Rey Nobody. I think you could keep the same amount of lines with just slight word changes and additions. The only line that would need to be cut would be “Because you’re a Palpatine.”
EDIT: For reference (with some slight touches for preference)
Luke (off screen): Leia saw it, too.
Rey: She didn’t tell me. She still trained me.
Luke (off screen): Because she saw your spirit-
Luke (on screen): -your heart.
Luke (off screen): She knew, because-
Luke (on screen): -some things are stronger than blood.
Luke (off screen): Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. A constant struggle. If you don’t face it-
Luke (on screen): -it will mean the end of the Jedi.
Luke (off screen): And you will be lost.
Luke (wide): There’s something my sister would want you to have.
Sometimes I think less is more.
(“A constant struggle” could also be Always”. Just thought it would be a more useful lesson than just saying “your destiny”)
Thanks for the notes! I probably won’t get to again until this weekend, at least, but I’ll look at getting closer to your mock-up.
I’m sensing a pattern with me spending a lot of energy on blink and you’ll miss it shots.
If I need to make edits I can but here is the high res clip for now.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VorirravXQCUNYadlzaa-K9y9ZpMhRhc/view?usp=drive_link
And oh jeez, sorry I skipped right by Nev’s awesome drawing.
Also, can the Poe line be shortened to just read “each ship [has been] modified with delreadnaught laser cannons”?
JarJar, let me know if you don’t do the Poe thing and I can try to mess with it sometime. I kept having trouble getting Poe to say “dreadnought” and “cannons” in a more Oscar Isaac way. I even typed it out more phonetically, like “dread not” and “can-ins”. Maybe you’ll have more luck with it than I did. But any lines needs a “de-cruft” just send it my way.
Not to derail this thread too much but I just want to say that this new sort of AI voice model work you all have been doing for this is so exciting, not only for this edit but for any future edits of other shows and movies. Within Star Wars alone, I know some people have had problems with how both Vader’s lines in Obi-Wan Kenobi/Rogue One and Luke’s lines in Mando/Boba Fett have sounded and with this new way to use this tech, we could get a more accurate voiceprint of both of these characters from the original movies.
I honestly shut Star Wars edits mostly out of my mind when this stuff first started popping up because the possibilities were just too overwhelming. Now I’m just trying to take it one idea at a time. The Rey Nobody edit has been this forum’s white whale for awhile, so I’ve been mapping out new dialogue for that. Might not be right for Ascendant but I’ll try to post some test sometime.
Ooo, perfect. Get that to me!
I love it! And I have after effects.
That is a fair argument, krlozdac. She tells the Aki-Aki girl that she doesn’t have a family mere scenes later. “I don’t have one”.
Does she say she doesn’t have a family, or that she just doesn’t have a family name? I mean, it’s not like Leia legally adopted Rey. She’s just saying that she is where she belongs.
That’s a fair point, krlozdac. I’ve considered it as well and think it’s worth discussing.
One argument I can see being made for it is that the Resistance and Leia is already established as her newfound family from the get go. So the movie starts out like, “Okay, this my found family, but am I worthy of them?” And that question is what the movies explores.
Also, having Leia explicitly address Rey as family more strongly justifies her taking the name Skywalker, which didn’t really seem to land with everyone in theaters.
You might be right but it might be worth thinking about.
Also, can someone with headphones and a good ear compare these two voice files and see if the audio quality sounds any different?
First:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qNb_f7AwetG9cXlU6aFv3A3gIrOu6TbK/view?usp=drivesdk
Second:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iprhwpzpLeXs0St1Duk91IN9v4cWOm3a/view?usp=drivesdk
You’re exactly right about that cruft. The voices sound a lot closer to the real deal now, but those artifacts keep it from being 100% seamless. Some lines don’t have that, which may come down to the sample, the settings, and just luck. I have another idea of how to potentially address that, but getting better readings may come down to those three factors and a little persistence.
And thanks for taking some time to mess around with all of this!
Hal, is that clip with the Ascendant color grading or the theatrical? It would be nice to have the theatrical version so others could slot it into their own edits if they want. I should’ve asked that before.
And thanks for the notes on the other lines. I’ll try to look at the Poe lines some more unless JarJar wants to take a go at them.
The whipping/slipping video clips I posted do use entirely new lines. I could share just those files if you wanted to see if they would work, if you haven’t tried those specific versions yet.
Also- Have you ever considered adding other fanedit material- like this salvaged Jango Fett scene from Attack of the Clones? Could be a good way to “add” to some of these flashback scenes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Gbh08F061A&ab_channel=vanilla
This is a pretty cool edit. I’ve also thought that this would’ve been a good way to demonstrate the abilities of beskar. Instead of cutting Jango up, you could’ve had Windu’s lightsaber bounce off his beskar armor twice, maybe Jango begins to ignite his flamethrower, forcing Windu to finally kill him. Because it is ironic that Windu wanted to capture this guy, then ends up killing him. Anyway, that’s a story for another edit.
Kypo, love your professional perspective on a screenplay’s thesis and theme lines!
Speaking of which, if this is something Acbagel is interested in, we have been experimenting with voice AI for another edit project, so I wonder if we could do something similar with this.
If you could come up some potential theme lines, and Acbagel was interested in using it, I could try to make the lines. Something that can be said off camera by an actor, or said by character with a helmet, would be preferable.
Speaking of which, Acbagel, if there are any other spots where you have caught yourself saying, “Man, it would be great if we had a line here to explain this”, feel free to reach out because I’d be more than happy to generate some lines for you. I had already been wanting to remake Luke’s dialogue in Mando and BOBF to make it sound more natural and like Mark Hamill. It would be a good opportunity to alter his lines to fit your interpretation of the character, if you felt this version of Luke shouldn’t follow the “attachments” rule, for example. Just let me know!
^Literally my first thought when I figured it out.
Another shorter reading could use the phrase “Luke’s texts”. One less syllable. Haha.
And okay! I’d appreciate that!
Personally I feel like a good way to explain it would be that it is a unique power that only certain people can do, and it just so happens that Baby Yoda and Rey can (and maybe Rey can because of the dyad stuff). But, I think it is cleaner to explain it coming from the texts. Maybe it was lost knowledge. Or, maybe the Force is more “awake” than it was during the period of the PT-OT. And, it could still be that only certain people can really learn it. But yeah, I don’t think the movie has to get too deep into it. The text explanation feels good enough.
If Nev can get the drawing, and someone could send me a high quality MOV file, I can try to do the VFX.
That is true. Makes it feel a little stuffed.
If you moved BB-8’s beeps to previous shot, when he is rolling up, that would give you the entire BB-8 insert shot to include an extra Rey line. Maybe you could keep the line as-is, and just add, “From the texts” or “The Jedi texts”.This is currently what I’m working on. Will upload soon. There isn’t enough space for her to say anything else besides these three brief words. It works well, don’t get me wrong, but unless we shift BB-8’s beeps this is all we can do.
Cool. But honestly, this plus the Jedi text image, if we can make that work, would be enough imo.
That is true. Makes it feel a little stuffed.
If you moved BB-8’s beeps to previous shot, when he is rolling up, that would give you the entire BB-8 insert shot to include an extra Rey line. Maybe you could keep the line as-is, and just add, “From the texts” or “The Jedi texts”.
I’m sending Nev a still of the page from the Jedi texts. I’m having trouble exporting a high quality clip of the shot though.
As far as the picture, I just imagined a hand-drawn illustration of basically someone “laying hands” on someone else. It could be in black ink, but maybe the “energy” could be in blue ink or something. And if you wanted to have our cake and eat it too, we could even keep the image of the wayfinder, but put it on the page Rey flips away from, so we only get a quick glimpse of it.
You could trim it a little so it plays out like.
Offscreen: From the texts. Leia showed me how. Life-
Onscreen: -force energy from me to him. You would’ve done the same.
You could have a little both and have it be something like,
Offscreen: From the texts. Leia showed me how.
On screen: Force energy from me to him.
I don’t think you have to spell it out more than that. But I do agree if you had to pick one, it is better to go with Leia, but I think you could do both.
I agree with Burbin regarding Ben. Force dyad stuff.
You could reuse the insert shot of BB-8, but maybe in reverse, at the end of the convo, and put “Leia taught me that” over that shot. Or even just the shot of Chewie putting the dagger in the bag, he’s in the same room as them.
Or, at the beginning, replace “I just transferred a bit of life”, with “Leia taught me. To transfer life.” Then onscreen, she continues, “Force energy from me to him.” I do like the thematic idea of Rey learning it from Leia specifically.
Although I also think it could be nice to set up earlier than that. Like, replace the illustration of the wayfinder that Rey sees while flipping through the book with an illustration of Force healing. Arguably that is a set up for the Rey knowing the wayfinder is mentioned in the texts too, but would the audience really question it being mentioned in the texts if we hadn’t seen that page before? Also, it is a little convenient she flipped on that page 10 minutes before it became relevant. Idk though.