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RogueLeader

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11-Jun-2015
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28-Mar-2024
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Post
#1422544
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE)
Time

Knight of Kalee said:

Well, this sounds interesting! Even if I’m already invested in Faraday’s vision, I would gladly check out yours too! The idea of tying everything back to Anakin is very appealing to me.

I don’t think there will ever be a definitive rewrite, since they’re all personal to the writer, but I think that is what makes having different rewrites cool. It’s just fun to imagine all the different ways the Saga could’ve ended.

While I don’t like Rey Palpatine, I think it is cool to try to find a way to make it work better. Might as well, since it’s canon, right? I’m glad you’re going with her parents being bad people. I do think it is still a bit contrived to try and explain that Ochi demanded to know where Rey is, but they wouldn’t tell him out of spite. I guess that makes sense, but I think they would rat her out at the threat of death, if they were willing to sell her for drinking money. Her value is zero when it comes to their own satisfaction.

That might be one benefit of Rey killing her parents. Ochi would probably think Rey died too in the crash, if Rey zapped their ship. Or, maybe Ochi and Palpatine knew where Rey was all along, and because he felt her being raised in a harsh, survivalist environment would make her a more worthy successor/vessel than her father, who could’ve been raised and spoiled on Exegol since he was the “son” of the Emperor. Her being left there on purpose by Palpatine would be a good reason to hate him, in lieu of her parents not being good people that he killed anymore. We can even see Rey’s parents rat out her whereabouts, but Ochi kills them anyway because he doesn’t care. She is exactly where Palpatine wants her to be. They just want them out of the picture.

But I think what you’ve written is definitely better than the theatrical version at least. Plus, it still sticks closely with what is in the film.

Post
#1422475
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

Congrats on the milestone! It’s been awesome to see you chugging away at this. It would be cool for you to do some kind of commentary or mini-podcast or something. Or even just a video of you discussing the process and what you have gotten out of it. I’ve always been impressed by the way you think things through. Always enjoy reading your posts and seeing how the gears turn in that head of yours.

Post
#1422473
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

sherlockpotter said:

I didn’t even consider that, if Babu doesn’t reach out to Jannah before they arrive, that Finn would be the primary source of motivation for her to join the cause. Sure, we’d have to deprive Babu of a hero moment, and give it to one of our main characters instead; but it might just be worth it.

RogueLeader, you mad genius, you.

Lol, thanks. It’s what I like to call a non-transferable skill.

Post
#1422472
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

If we can play around with Jannah’s intro and figure out something we’re content with, that’s really the last big hurdle we have to jump over. The way Ascendant has the rest of the film play out from that point forward requires no more changes.

EDIT: Just to throw it out there, this is how it could play out.

Jannah: Are you with the Resistance?

Poe: That depends.

Let that wide shot play out in full, but cut out Jannah’s response. Cut the following shot of Jannah mentioning Babu. Cut 3PO’s response. Move random shot of guy on horse to later. Cut Jannah’s line about Rey being the last hope.

[After a tense pause, Rey decides to speak honestly with them.]
Rey: We have to get to that wreck. There’s something inside there we need.

Place shot of random guy on horse here, to create a beat as we wait for Jannah’s response.

Jannah: We can take you there, by water.

Scene plays out as-is.

(The shot of 3PO could be potentially be used for something else. Maybe a replacement funny line.)

Post
#1422351
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

That is fair. Sometimes you just have to try things out and the compare them once their fully laid out, to really get a sense of their differences.

I do think it would be good to render out that alternate version, because I feel like they could be useful to future editors potentially.

+1 on darker Rey version. You might not want to use it, but I loved the version where you used the darker, alternate track of her theme for that moment. I also think including the cliff stuff is a good idea. You did a good job cutting the shots of the planet falling apart, so it’s a bit of a shame you’re reverting it, but sometimes that happens when you realize you prefer how it was before.

Post
#1422340
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

The additional lines to connect the Senate with Hosnian Prime is fantastic. Something I’ve been wanting to see for a really long times. Great job, Nev!

The new Hosnian desctrucrion is nice. I actually don’t think the shot of them looking at the laser looks unfinished. Maybe it would be helpful to have the laser go all the way out of frame, rather than stopping in the middle of the sky, where the sun originally disappeared in the shot.

Though I’m curious, Nev. Does this mean you’re reverting to a version of Act 3 that is more like Restructured? I really liked the version where Poe destroyed the oscillator, but the base didn’t start collapsing until it fired and destabilized the planet. I thought it did a good job of solving some of the problems that sort of arose with how things played out in Restructured. Are you going back to where they’re going to then target the Resistance after destroying Hosnian Prime, but Poe blows the oscillator up before they have a chance to do it?

Post
#1422337
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

They really don’t explain how Kylo knows where she is going, do they? I assumed they put a tracking device on the Falcon, or they tracked them through hyperspace, but they didn’t follow them. But I don’t think they ever clarify it. Maybe the Emperor told him where the Wayfinder is, since it is HIS Wayfinder, but Kylo tells him, “I know where she’s going.” as if the Emperor doesn’t know where she’s going (didn’t Hal move this scene up to a place where it makes sense?)

My most recent theory is that Kylo can read Sith, so he must’ve read it at some point while it was in his chambers. But again, I don’t think the film really explicitly tells us.

Post
#1422280
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Lol, I’m glad people beat me to mentioning how random it is for Babu to send a message about the “last hope”.

I think mentioning it being on Endor defeats the purpose of it being an ancient dagger. If we don’t change the Babu Frik mention, I would probably drop these changes entirely. Unless you wanted to somehow make it clearer that Ochi made the dagger, or inscribed on it himself.

If you were to cut out those Jannah lines, perhaps you could cut it in a way as if there is a pause, a little bit of tension, but then Rey says what she says with the hope that being honest will be seen as a sign of trust. You could to the shot of the random guy, making us wait for their response, and then Jannah says they can take them there by water. Maybe you could replace 3PO’s line with something else too.

Post
#1422098
Topic
Unusual <strong>Sequel Trilogy</strong> Radical Redux Ideas Thread
Time

Sure, I’m not arguing that. I mean, they literally say Kylo Ren/Ben was seduced by the dark side. I’m just suggesting that we could elaborate on that a little. I am not really sure what you’re trying to say. Did you bring that up because you don’t think I should? You think I’m suggesting the movie doesn’t make it clear that he was seduced by the dark side?

In the film, Kylo wants to finish what Vader started, but we don’t really get an explicit answer for that. Kill the Jedi, bring order to the galaxy, etc., I’m guessing is what’s being inferred, as you like to say. So, if that’s the case, I’m just adding a bit more to that.

Post
#1421990
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

I wanted to suggest three different options for how the dagger could present the knowledge of the Wayfinder’s location to Rey in Kylo’s Chambers, as well as miscellaneous thoughts on how this idea can be clarified even more.

Option A:

A) The initial suggestion: Rey picks up the dagger, hears whispers, and then gets a quick glimpse of the Death Star ruins.
Pro: Quick and simple, without changing the scene drastically.
Con: Might not be clear as to why she is given this vision now, and not back on Pasaana. Held it longer? Now she is really “listening” to it? (Misc. section below could potentially address this)

Option B:

B) Create a brief flashback/vision sequence that mirror’s Kylo flashback/vision Dom made for when he touches Vader’s helmet earlier in the film. Since Rey must invoke her hate to get what she wants from the blade, we could get brief glimpses of who Rey has directed her hatred at the most: Kylo. We see Kylo kill Han, her calling him a monster, a murderous snake, Rey giving Kylo that hateful look after she knocked him down on Starkiller Base, etc. Then, at the end, she gets a glimpse of the Death Star ruins.
Pros: It clarifies what Rey did this time to earn this glimpse of the Wayfinder’s location by using editing language that already exists in Ascendant. Also, being reminded of Rey’s hate might help give more impact to Rey’s overall conflict with the dark side in this film. This hate later drives Rey to almost kill Kylo, fueling her shame. This whole “striking people down with hate” issue gets brought back up later with her killing Palpatine, so this might be a good set up for that, too. Plus, the vision allows us intercut from that one shot of Rey staring at the blade with brief flashes, giving us more time to clarify what is going on.
Cons: Gives Rey another vision sequence, which might come off as a storytelling crutch. Also, we don’t know explicitly if Rey invoked these memories of hate, or if the dagger pulled it out of her, but it may not matter. The extra length to this sequence could be seen as a detriment, and it might not fit the moment anyway.

Option C:

C) Same idea as B, but keep it all strictly through whispers. She picks up the blade, hears whispers, but she also hears her own voice saying, “Monster!”, “Murderous snake!” Then, we hear the whispers say, “Endor… Death Star…”
Pros: Simpler to execute than Option B. Sticks to the established rules of this blade, which is that it whispers to the wielder.
Cons: Might not be clear enough to express that there is a transaction happening between Rey and the dagger. It might be better if the dagger doesn’t really start whispering a lot until after she “activates” it. Also, that single shot might not be long enough to fit the whispers, Rey’s lines, and the blade’s answer, into it. You could possibly have Rey hear her own hateful words/thoughts, then she gets the brief glimpse of the Death Star ruins. This could be the moment the blade “wakes up” and starts whispering to her after that.

Regardless of which option we go with, I think these small changes could also potentially be applied to any of them to help provide a little more clarity to the scene, so I think they are worth thinking about:

Misc:

• In the theatrical, when Rey picks up the dagger, she is looking at Chewie’s bandolier, and then sort of stops and notices that she is hearing voices from the dagger. Instead, we should cut it so Rey picks up the dagger, and she is already looking at the dagger when we cut back to her face. This makes it seem like Rey picked it up because she wanted to hear the whispers, now that she knows she must listen to them to find the Wayfinder.
• Try to extend that shot of Rey staring at the dagger just to give us an extra beat or two to help clarify the scene. This is something Dom has done throughout a few sequences in his edit.
• To help clarify a connection is being made between Rey and the dagger, we could use the sound effect we hear when Kylo touches Vader’s helmet and “connects” with it. This probably would be most useful to Option B, but I think they could be applied to all three versions if we think it could differentiate this moment from the moment she first picked it up on Pasaana.
• To further differentiate this moment from the first time she touches it on Pasaana, maybe she barely gets a hint of whispers on Pasaana, but hears them more clearly on the Destroyer.

And my two cents for those who are interested:

I think a vision sequence in the same style as Dom’s Vader helmet vision could be potentially great, and add to Rey’s conflict throughout the film, so I think Option B is my first choice. I went back and watched Rey and Kylo’s interactions on the Death Star, imagining that we had gotten such a sequence earlier, and I think it would add a lot to the feeling that Rey could potentially fall to the dark side. I think it’s worth playing around with at least.

BUT, at the very least this is how I think the dagger stuff could play out. On Pasaana, Rey hears no (or faint) whispers when she picks up the dagger. When she picks up the dagger in Kylo’s chambers, we hear the Vader helmet connection sound effect (to imply a connection has been made between the dagger and Rey), we hear some of Rey’s hateful thoughts toward Kylo, and then she gets a brief glimpse of the Death Star ruins and hears whispers briefly. Then later on Endor, she remembers the line “only this blade tells”, pulls out the dagger and begins really hearing the whispers.

I know this might be a lot to think about, but I do think it is worth considering, because it would allow us to blend the McGuffin chase with actual character conflict.

Post
#1421988
Topic
Unusual <strong>Sequel Trilogy</strong> Radical Redux Ideas Thread
Time

I had an idea for this awhile back.

You could make it just voices, or maybe a vision like he has in TROS when he touches the helmet, since he says “show me”. But basically, the vision would revolve around three lines he hears.

Palpatine: If the Jedi are not all destroyed, it will be civil war without end.

Vader: Bring order to the galaxy.

Snoke: And fulfill your destiny!

If we do get a vision, Kylo could get glimpses of the chaos of the Clone Wars, the Galactic Civil War, etc. and then maybe glimpses of a future where Kylo brings “peace” and “order” to the galaxy. Shots of the First Order, Star Destroyers over planets, confronting/killing Luke, etc.

One big benefit is that it elaborates on Kylo’s motivations for turning to the dark side, which we never really get in TFA. He didn’t just turn to the dark side because he was a bad seed or something. He at least had a reason for turning, which he thought would help the galaxy. It also lines up well with Palpatine’s reveal in TROS.

Post
#1421982
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

I like that, Burbin. It still reads like a poem, but they are more clearly instructions. Plus, instead of just stating what it does, it is commanding the reader what it must do. And the fact that it doesn’t perfectly rhyme is okay, since this it is a translation after all.

If you don’t mind, I played around a little bit with it for the hell of it:

This blade only whispers to darkened hearts
To show them where the Sith Wayfinder dwells
Reveal your anger, and unleash your hate
To those it chooses, only this blade tells.

Post
#1421978
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

I would say the simplest thing would be to state that Leia/the Resistance is aware that the First Order is up to something, maybe even building something, and they’re either trying to find evidence of what it is to convince the Republic to take action. Maybe they think finding Luke will help rally the Republic to their cause.

And yeah, maybe you could have Poe/Kylo hear Leia say something like, “Find their weapon”, taking it from “I was foolish to think I could find Luke…” and “The First Order, charging their weapon again now”. Or, she could just say, “The First Order weapon”. You could have someone record a generic Resistance officer say something like, “The First Order, they’re building something.”

Post
#1421971
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Cinefy, I’m really loving your work with the Mustafar shot so far, but I’m curious if you designed the organism concept image you shared.

I still think something like this would be best option for Mustafar / Vader’s castle shot, I must just gonna give it a shot when I get the time.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/501825149469851659/795325996211372073/20210103_172116.jpg

I personally prefer the way this concept looks over your newest version. I know it is still a work in progress, but the the branches, the sky, the angle of the castle, it’s really spooky. You may have no done that original concept, though.

I have some more thoughts on the dagger, but I think I might let them digest for a little bit longer.

As far as the puppet show stuff goes, a design has been decided upon for the Luke and AT-AT puppets, materials have been purchased, and I’ve made a list of the actions I’ll have them perform on camera. Just need to put them together, which won’t take long once get the designs on paper. CaptainFaraday came up with the designs, which I loved. That process will get started shortly.

Post
#1421711
Topic
EPISODE IX: THE LIGHT RISES
Time

This was a really great read! You had some similar ideas to what I have had, like Ben and Rey sort of “flipping sides” during their final confrontation.

Also, everything with Hux was chef’s kiss.

This leaves Hux running the entire First Order, a bureaucratic and complex job. He’s just as zealous as ever, but now he’s overworked and stressed. It’s not as much fun as when he was giving speeches and blowing up planets.

This^ This right here^ reads like the synopsis to the sitcom
I never knew I wanted.

Also, his demise is fantastic. Did you get the turtle thing from the rumor that was floating around the internet for awhile?

Post
#1421684
Topic
Episode IX: THE SHATTERED SWORD - DETAILED SUMMARY COMPLETE
Time

Cool, cool. I already liked the direction you took the character in IX, but I like the idea of the Hux we are introduced to in this story has grown in a more cold and calculating way.

Speaking of characters, I’m curious of your depiction of the Knights of Ren have changed at all. I like the lore that you built up around them, but I felt their characterization didn’t really fit with that brief appearance we got of them in TFA. I guess I felt like they seemed too nice or neutral for what their design kind of inferred. To me, they seemed like Dark Side/Sith cultists who saw the Grandson of Vader as their messiah, or they were Luke’s few other surviving students who totally bought into whatever Kylo’s philosophy was.