RogueLeader

Even if TLJ leaves some narrative threads open, I kind of think it stands on its own regarding the thematic elements it has. Even if we don’t see what happens with Kylo Ren, or we don’t the restoration of the Jedi or the Republic proper, we know there are still people that the fight will continue after the film ends, and they will eventually succeed.

I also kind of like the parallels TLJ shares with Le Morte D’Arthur, where King Arthur story ends with a duel with his wicked kin, Mordred, and the ruin of his kingdom, but there is hope that Arthur will return from Avalon one day and restore the kingdom.

Like Arthur, the OT and these bookends could be seen as focusing on the birth, life and death of Luke Skywalker. Ironically, though, I don’t know if I actually would want to show Luke dying in this version. I like the idea of leaving his fate ambiguous, allowing the audience to choose what happens to him. Does Luke die there on the island and become one with the Force, or will he live on to restore the Jedi Order as Lucas intended to depict?

Kind of the same idea with Kylo. I like how TLJ ends showing Kylo “winning” the battle, but losing spiritually. And the audience is left to wonder if Kylo is doomed to the dark side, or if there is still hope for redemption.

Regarding George’s ST ideas, we know that at some point George suggested combining the Jedi Killer character with Han and Leia’s son. So in some version of his treatment, he still fell to the dark side just as he did in the final version of those films, but we don’t know what his fate would have been in George’s version. So leaving Kylo’s eventual fate ambiguous and letting the audience ponder on it fits with what little we know about Lucas’ version of the sequel trilogy.

And the intentional ambiguity of what comes after mirrors the intentional ambiguity of what comes before the prologue. By having ROTS operate as a standalone film, the audience can be left to imagine a version of how Anakin and Obi-Wan met that is more in line with what the original trilogy tells us: Anakin followed Obi-Wan on a idealistic crusade, and Owen thought Anakin should’ve stayed on Tatooine and not gotten involved.
That’s not really what we see in the actual films, but by not showing how they met and coming in on their story in medias res, the audience could choose to imagine the events before the prologue however they want, whether it be more in like with the OT, or how it is depicted in the rest of the PT.

Love to hear your perspective, Nev! Speaking of the characters’ ways of speaking, I recall reading an interview regarding Rings of Power that basically claimed that the writers attempted to write dialogue for each race in distinctive meters. To be honest I haven’t been able to tell if that translated into the final product. Have you guys noticed anything like that?

Hey guys, my brain decided it wanted to revisit this old idea, so I have updated the original post with new thoughts.

Haha, same here! It’s funny. Admittedly, I have never read any of the books, and have really been a fan of Middle-Earth just through the movies. Since checking out M4’s Hobbit edit, though, I have been reading more about the lore and have had a growing interest in seeing more purists edits of LOTR as well. It is just an interesting idea to me. Are purist edits faithful or fruitless efforts? I didn’t realize how many things are different in the films compared to the books! Plated armor, which you see throughout the films, isn’t even described in the books. But I do think exploring that question of, “Could this adaptation be more faithful, but still hold up coherently as in this different medium?” makes for a fun experiment.

Since I haven’t read the books, I am not personally zealous when it comes to purism, but I think it would be fun to see if people will attempt to edit this series in a way that tries to stick as close as possible to what Tolkien wrote. I imagine it would be difficult considering the source material is rather sparse in comparison to LOTR or the Hobbit, but you could end up with an interesting narrative that is quite different than how it is laid out currently.

I’ve had similar thoughts about House of the Dragon as well. The source material is written as an in-universe history of the events of the story. In the book, the why and how of certain key events are ambiguous, and different sources have their own interpretations. I find that aspect really fascinating. In the show, though, the show decides to show these events, and in doing so, take away from that mystery. Of course I don’t think that is a bad thing at all. I think it is also great to see those events “unveiled” in a sense, even if it is different or contradictory to what is said in the books. Despite that, I can picture an edit of the series that chooses to keep those key events mysterious, and let the audience speculate on the truth. Seems like it would be a fun way to experience the show!

I’ve had similar thought regarding Star Wars edits, lore and headcanons, but I’ll save that for the Star Wars threads. I’m looking forward to talking about the finale with you guys!

Been wanting to talk about the show with people and didn’t realize there was a discussion here on this site! Of course I realize this with one episode left.

The last episode did slow down a bit, but I think my favorite part of the episode were the scenes between Theo and Galadriel. You could tell that as Galadriel was giving advice to Theo, she was sort of realizing she could apply some of that advice to herself. I catch myself doing that a lot, so it was an interesting dynamic to see.

Was it this past episode that ended with the title card switching from the Southlands to spooky voice, MoRdOr!?!?! Totally cheesy. Felt like the volcano in the distance spoke for itself.

I’m sure people are tired of Sauron hot takes, but I think both Halbrand and the Stranger are red herrings. I’m starting to think Halbrand may still have a personal connection to Sauron/Annatar in his backstory, but I’m kind of hoping that Annatar will show up in the final episode, and we’ll realize he has been buddy-buddy with Gil-Gahad and Celebrimbor this whole time. Maybe Annatar was the one who told them about the mithril, and has been fueling their fears and ambition.

Anyway, I’ve been enjoying it. I like being able to watch this and House of the Dragon side-by-side. Scratching two sides of that fantasy itch.
This might be a lame crutch, but I think if I had been showrunner, I would’ve had the opening titles be a lot of artistic close-ups of an unknown person writing a book titled “The Rings of Power”. So basically any gripes people have with the story could be written off as the series being an in-universe “epic” written by some character who is putting their own interpretation of the events of the Second Age.

I like them both, but I love the first one! I feel like it isn’t worth mentioning Valorum since he isn’t really a prominent character in the story.

I know the Phantom Menace opening has been rewritten a thousand times on this website, but mind if I try to simplify this version a little?

It is the end of a golden age. The Galactic Republic, once under the wise rule of the Senate, has been engulfed in corruption.

While their allies in congress turn a blind eye, the greedy Trade Federation seeks to exploit the wealthy planet of Naboo with a blockade of deadly warships.

Fearing for the safety of her people, the newly-elected Queen Amidala has requested the aid of the legendary Jedi Knights, hoping that they will restore peace and justice to her kingdom….

This keeps it reminiscent to the original Star Wars opening, and the first paragraph acts as a sort of thesis statement for the theme of the entire prequel trilogy.

You don’t have to explain the details of the blockade beyond greed and exploitation, and setting these scene for the opening of the film.

And I like the last paragraph because it sends us off with a fairy tale call to action. And I think this keeps plot simple. It tells us what we need to know. Corruption. Greed. Invasion. Jedi Knights. We can be given the details in the actual body of the movie.

And Amidala doesn’t have to be a custodian of democracy at the beginning of the trilogy. Right now she is just worried about her people, but seeing the corruption of the Republic will ignite the fire inside her so she will become that in the subsequent films.

I like the shots of yours better, but I think the music flows better in L8wtr. Just need a little more tweaking maybe.

Long time no see, darthrush!

CaptainFaraday said:

I’ve always thought a group edit of ANH where everyone picked a scene and edited it with their best worst ideas would be fantastic, but far too impractical to organise.

Actually this doesn’t seem like such a crazy idea. And it could be a cool way to involve forum members who like to edit but don’t have the time or resources to do a feature-length fan edit.

Yeah, I don’t think it could be made explicit, but it is possible Luke could’ve warned them of what he saw. I think Luke warning Han and Leia of their fate at the hands of their own son could add an interesting layer to their actions in the films. I can imagine Leia would refuse to accept it, but I could see that being a factor in Han’s decision to go off and run away from his responsibilities. Maybe he felt he was endangering Leia, or his son’s soul, or maybe it was just a selfish decision. But the idea that Han knows what is going to happen when he confronts his son, but does it anyway, is kind of an interesting idea.

I do think seeing flashes of Han and Leia’s deaths seems like a good motivating factor for Luke. But I do like the idea of the last shot be of Kylo striking down toward camera because I think it would be an interesting approach to frame this vision as being almost lifelike for Luke in that moment. It would demonstrate Luke’s powerful connection to the Force, but also how it can be a curse. The timeless nature of the Force blurs the line between present and future.

It would require some vfx, but it would be cool if as Luke gets deeper in the vision, the hut begins to look like it is being consumed in flames all around him. Maybe you could add embers in the foreground/background, or even show a reflection of flames or Kylo’s red saber in Luke’s eyes. But then when he ignites his own blade, the flames and saber are extinguished, and he snaps back to reality. I think the vision could work as quick, incongruous shots, just like the vision sequence at the beginning of TROS. It’s disorienting (in a good way), but you do get quick glimpses of Han’s death and other moments. You could replicate this with very quick frames of fire, violence and death related to Kylo Ren. Maybe even some quick shots of Anakin/Vader for the parallels. But keep the frame # of each shot similar to the TROS vision. You could also occasionally cut back to Luke in a way that disrupts continuity to further reflect the disorientation Luke is experiencing. In some shots Luke could be surrounded by flames, others not. Maybe you could even have a quick shot of him reaching for his saber while he is still in the throes of the vision, losing awareness that his sleeping nephew is front of him and not the dark warrior he sees. It’s intense, overwhelming and Luke just wants to stop it.

Building off of this a little, this reminds me of a little thing I would like to add to Kylo’s version of the story: At the end of Kylo’s flashback, when it cuts to black after the hut collapses on him and Luke, we get some quick voiceover lines of the other students’ reactions.

Student 1: He killed Master Luke!

Student 2: Kill him!

Ben: No!!!

Sounds of sabers igniting and clashing.

This paints a picture of Kylo believing that he was defending himself from the beginning. I think this would make Kylo more sympathetic and compelling as an antagonist.

And the films don’t really do a great job of explaining why Kylo even fell to the dark side. I’ve said this multiple times, but I like the idea of giving Kylo a vision in TFA when he speaks to Vader’s mask. This convo gave me an additional idea for it though:
Kylo has a vision that paints a picture of his philosophy based on a twisted interpretation of Vader’s life. Democracy and the Jedi lead to chaos. Only order can bring peace to the galaxy. And you must sacrifice the ones you love to achieve that power. Over a quick-flash vision montage you could have lines like:

Palpatine: If the Jedi are not destroyed… civil war without end.

Quick shots of the Clone Wars and the Galactic Civil War ravaging the galaxy.

Sidious: Make the sacrifice!

Quick shots of Padmé, Han, Leia, Luke, Order 66, Luke’s temple burning.

Vader: Bring order to the galaxy.

Quick shots demonstrating military power of the Empire, First Order, Vader, Kylo Ren, etc.

Snoke: And fulfill your destiny!

Quick shots of Anakin transforming into Vader, and Kylo/Vader parallels.

I think something like this would add depth to Kylo’s line in TLJ when he says, “I didn’t hate him” regarding why he killed his father. Twisted by Snoke’s manipulation, he believes that he must kill the ones he loves, his weaknesses, in order to be strong enough to save the galaxy from itself. And saving the galaxy would be important to Kylo because it also is to Luke and Leia, but he decides their approach is wrong. I like to imagine Snoke started brainwashing him with this stuff while he was still at Luke’s temple. He wasn’t sure if he would follow through with what Snoke was wanting him to do, but it was percolating in his mind when Luke peered into it. Luke’s reaction, then the subsequent reaction of the other students, forced him into that choice, but the end result legitimized Snoke’s propaganda and the traumatized Ben Solo had no one else to turn to. His choice had been made. Of course, I think he is just trying to justify his actions, and his motivations are likely driven by more selfish reasons, but that’s the lie he chooses to believe.

I haven’t watched the entirety of the Yoda episode but the new “vision” transitions are great!

Honestly, how you’ve retitled the Mortis Arc and the Yoda Arc as “The Living Force” and “The Cosmic Force” is brilliant. Really solidifies these episodes as companion pieces that share similar themes and editing concepts. One of my favorite things you’ve done with your project!

Damn Eddie. You have been BUSY! I can’t believe how much you’ve gone through. You really are close to the end now!

EddieDean said:

Here’s an idea I don’t think I’ve seen here before-

Someone on Youtube has added scenes from the ST to a vision Luke has as he looks within Kylo’s mind during the Rashomon flashback scenes, so that the audience can see the darkness within Kylo that horrified Luke enough for him ignite his lightsaber in reaction:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eg4fZlt197U

I think it works really well, and actually seeing what Luke sees (show, don’t tell) helps the audience understand why Luke considered striking a student.

You could use scenes from all three movies. I’d probably choose the some shots more focused on Kylo than on Sidious, but either way it also adds a layer of irony - played out this way it’s almost like Luke saw a dark future that he feared, but through his fear, he actually brought it to pass.

This is an idea I’ve had before! You can find other versions of this idea around YouTube. I don’t think I ever posted this here, but I wrote up this idea awhile back.

Third, in Luke’s second vision, we actually get a glimpse of what Luke sees. Glimpses of a dark figure, but never a direct look. Silhouettes. A man in black with a red flaming sword, striking down his opponents (taking from Rey’s TFA vision, and maybe Kylo killing the Mustafarians at the beginning of TROS if that’s fair game). We could potentially see him killing Han (maybe just the shot of him falling to keep it ambiguous), the burning temple, etc. One of the last vision shots could be of Leia in the base on Crait, looking down the hallway to see a cloaked figure. We briefly cut back to Leia looking up at the figure, then cut to a shot of Kylo Ren, when he is bringing his saber down to kill Lor San Tekka. Making it seem as if it is Kylo coming to kill his mother. Then it hard cuts to Luke igniting his saber in response. So whether or not you have it as an uncut vision or make it intercut with him reaching for his saber, it makes it feel like Luke is totally absorbed in this vision of the future and is igniting his saber as almost a defensive reaction to the last vision shot of Kylo striking, an action to defend Leia, rather than taking a few moments to contemplate killing his sleeping student. It puts the audience in Luke’s mind, showing how he is enthralled by this prescient hallucination. Luke is so powerful that the clarity of his visions makes him lose sight of what is present and what is future.

I wouldn’t even be against a subtle Palpatine laugh, like TLJ: Legendary has it. Doesn’t necessarily mean Palpatine played a part in manipulating Luke, but it can be interpreted that way by those while like that.

A lot of tribute videos on YouTube do a variation of a vision montage, so there’s a lot of ways you could do it. I just specifically like the idea of the last shot being Kylo striking, and then Luke immediately igniting his saber in return.

True. I know the canon novels have the New Republic paint Leia as a war monger, but she sort of was even if it was justified. I agree that think it would’ve fit Leia better if she was trying to maintain peace as a politician rather than just be a general.

So you’re saying that you would’ve had the New Republic on one side, the Imperial Remnant on the other, with their being peace or a truce between them, and the Knights of Ren as the main antagonists trying to stir up trouble?

Love your idea for the Knights of Ren! I also think it would’ve given Kylo a more interesting motivation. His motivation for turning to the dark side was never expanded upon in the films, but this would give you the idea that he felt he was doing what was right for the galaxy, even if it was misguided. Him and the other Knights may believe they could control the dark side without it controlling them, but as the trilogy progresses we’d see how it corrupts them.

The Force Awakens novel opened with this “quote” from the Journal of the Whills:

First comes the day
Then comes the night
After the dark
Shines through the light
The difference, they say
Is only made right
By resolving the gray
Through refined Jedi sight

It is an intriguing prologue, but the trilogy never delves into that. Your idea could resolve the “gray” and put the arguments to rest.

For example, I wish Luke had a moment in the trilogy to give some spiritual speech that was on the same level as Yoda’s “for my ally is the Force” speech. You could’ve had Luke explain to Rey why Kylo’s philosophy is wrong in an interesting, optimistic way. I think it’d still be nice to show how Luke’s Jedi Order might be different than how it was before, how he “resolves the gray”, but with an answer that isn’t “Grey Jedi”.

Really, the ST could’ve posed an interesting question and theme. Okay, Anakin brought balance to the Force, but what does that mean? And how do you maintain it? That question could’ve not only applied to the state of Jedi and the Force, but also to the state of the New Republic? How do you protect democracy, and keep it from falling to fascism again?

This is a common idea people have, but you could’ve had a simple role reversal and the Imperial remnant could’ve been the rebels, with ragtag stormtrooper militias committing acts of terrorism across the Republic. And Leia could’ve done some politcking, trying to weed out senators who are trying to turn the Republic back into an Empire. Our heroes could be wondering who has stormtrooper uniforms in their closets.

Speaking of which, I picture the ST “stormtroopers” looking more like this.

I mean, this would’ve been cool for the fandom, too. Imagine the 501st having their members make costumes like this. Could’ve had some pretty cool action figures too, and encouraged fans to kitbash their own stormtrooper figures. I think it narratively makes sense to see how the Imperial element has regressed and become more extremist in the wake of their defeat.

You could quote Yoda and go with “Shadow of Greed”

I love how you lay out the logic of that approach for Rey’s story. You’re right, TFA outlines that Luke failed to rebuild the Jedi, so it would’ve made sense to see Rey succeed at that. There is the implication that she will, but you can say the same for Luke at the end of ROTJ.

One thing I liked about Colin Trevorrow’s Duel of the Fates script was how it ended with Rey and company building a new home for future Jedi.

Maybe it would’ve been too much, but it could’ve been fun to have had a significant time skip with Episode IX, and we see that Rey has already begun training new Jedi. And you could’ve had a fun climax where the new Jedi fight the Knights of Ren.

I think one issue would’ve been introducing several new characters, let alone giving enough screen time to existing characters, like Finn and Poe. Even though Finn and Poe do have their own stories, they could’ve had them both start down the Jedi path too. I think people wanted to see Finn become a Jedi, so you could’ve had more hints to them both being Force-sensitive. And maybe Rey succeeds where Luke doesn’t because she doesn’t try to rebuild the Jedi are her own, but with the help of her friends. They do it together. And you could’ve contrasted Rey’s relationship with her friends and Kylo’s relationship with the Knights of Ren. Maybe there is infighting amongst the Knights, or they’re planning to usurp Kylo. We could see how the Knights of Ren are just like the Sith, despite trying to be different. And with the new Jedi, we could see how they might function differently than the old Jedi, and how they hopefully won’t repeat the same mistakes as them.

A lot of potential ideas there.

NFB, you’re not being pretentious or arrogant at all. There’s plenty of people doing more straightforward Kenobi edits, which are all great. You just want to do something more experimental, which is also really fun too! Just takes some more time to mull over it all. I actually think it is great that you’re going back and spending some time thinking about how to approach the series from your own creative perspective.

Making another BCS/BB comparison, I think another positive to keeping Reva as a crucial part of the narrative is that it gives you a story arc for a character that has an unknown fate. One thing that has kept BCS compelling is seeing what happens to the characters that weren’t in BB.

I also like the idea of introducing Reva through Vader, in a sense, and that he is pushing her on this mission. She still has her own motivations, but I think it feeds into the power play amongst the bad guys in this series.

This random thought goes in total opposition to what I just said, but what if you just cut out all of the pointless adventure? You could save yourself a lot of work and just make it a short film or standalone episode, at least the length of a regular BCS/BB episode, or at most 60-90 minutes.

What if the story was just about Obi-Wan going on a spiritual walkabout, having a few visions (potentially shared visions) of Anakin/Vader where he sort of comes to terms with his trauma. Episode III ends with Yoda apparently having training for Obi-Wan, so you could frame it as Obi-Wan being guided by Yoda through the Force, or simply him remembering Yoda’s teachings.

It reminds me a bit of EddieDean’s approach to the Mortis episodes, where reinterpreting scenes as explicit “visions” allows you to get away with more non-linear and experimental editing, which might fit well with the approach you’ve already been taking with your edit. Vader and Obi-Wan have their confrontations in rather dreamlike, barren landscapes anyway.

Regardless of what you do, I do think you should just have fun with it. People have plenty of Kenobi edits to choose from. If it ain’t spark in’ joy, toss it out.

I think this is a very valid point of view that I tend to agree with. I’m sure people will chime in arguing which interpretation is the right one, and it may be right, but it definitely feels like it has been muddled, arguably by Lucas himself as time went on.

But I personally think the ambiguity feeds into the Force’s religious connotations in-universe pretty nicely, since religions have fought wars over which interpretation is right, with either side claiming theirs is the Truth.

Lol, maybe Han was also a fan of podracing.

If he did really have a middle name, I would guess that it would be Organa. I would think Leia would still want to carry on the family name of the Royal House of Alderaan.

Speaking of which, I always liked the idea that Kylo Ren was sort of a “dark prince”, since he would have some claim to the throne of Alderaan. I could imagine citizens of the galaxy whispering amongst themselves one of his nicknames, Prince of Ashes.

Can’t wait to check out the Fall of Ahsoka episodes!

Love the idea of a coda to the Clone Wars that includes that fantastic scene from Rebels. Just calling it “Maul and Obi-Wan” is a simple way to make it clear that is sort of a bookend to their story (or at least Maul’s). Calling it “Old Wounds” could be a nice alternative though.

Would you still do the blue opening text? It could help give context for the scene. I also wonder if it is worth it for a 5 minute episode. Would it work to just go straight into the short and trust people to figure enough out through the conversations, but still leave enough questions to make the audience want to go watch Rebels to figure out more of the story behind it. Just some thoughts, but I love this idea, since it ties back into the idea that this edit is meant to “refocus” on Maul, the Mandalorians, etc.

Just listened to Hal and Speakhard’s conversation today during a long drive and it was great! Having spent some time not messing around with fan edits too much, it was great to revisit the history and also listen to sort of a retrospective on what was accomplished with Hal’s Sequel Trilogy edits.

Speakhard, I think you had a great thought on how this need people have to add their voice to the Star Wars story reflects the franchise becoming sort of a modern mythology, which was Lucas’ goal. It is kind of ironic, because I do wonder if Lucas’ choice to make the Special Editions and not make the original unaltered trilogy available kind of sparked the idea that these films aren’t really set in stone, but can be altered.

Kind of a fun but unimportant thought, but I like to think that in-universe all of these stories exist and have been documented at some unknown time in the far future, where no one really knows how these events actually went down, and people have these contradicting myths to choose from. For example, one version of the “New Hope” text has Han shooting Greedo first (and only), while another has Han shooting second. Or in terms of EU vs Disney Canon, both versions contain a story of the son of Han and Leia falling to the dark side, so perhaps future scholars believe that fact is likely true, but the details are up for debate. Anyway, a very nerdy thought, but I think the idea would help appease fans who get their pants in a knot about what is and isn’t canon. Or maybe people believe it is all made up, just like how King Arthur likely never existed.

Also, speakhard, I think you were right on the money about how TFA Restructured turns the original movies weaknesses into strengths. Like Hal said, TFA is basically a soft reboot of ANH in many ways, but that copying or parallelism works to the edit’s advantage when it sets up saving Hosnian Prime at the climax of the film, when you expect our heroes to save the day in the nick of time just like they did in ANH. I also think NeverarGreat’s Starlight Edition of TFA builds off this idea by having Rey tap into the dark side in order to defeat Kylo Ren. It is unexpected, it provides a more complex rationale for how the untrained Rey is able to defeat Kylo Ren, and it sets up the need for Luke Skywalker to return even more, not only to save the galaxy but to save Rey from that darkness within her.

Listening to this conversation was kind of cathartic in coming to terms a little bit more with my gripes with ST. Honestly I’m kind of back and forth when it comes to my feelings on the films, so that’s not set in stone, but lately I’ve been more okay with them bringing back Palpatine (still choosing to ignore Rey Palpatine though). I think future ST edits could do more to help set his return up. I think there is still more that could done with a future TROS edit, but I’m really happy with the reception Ascendant has gotten since its release.

I’m sure I have more thoughts that I’m forgetting but I really loved the insight you guys shared! Definitely would recommend others to check it out.

Also, Hal, I think Hal 9000 is a fitting name to go by, since the act of fan editing is, in essence, rebelling against the creator.

Very cool Octorox! It’s cool to see the scene order I suggested!

I do think, narratively, this is a nice placement for the training scene. We are not (re)introduced to Anakin and Obi until they are explicitly mentioned.

I do think Anjohan’s ordering is also has a lot of merits, and probably makes sense from a practical standpoint, since the physical differences of the actors probably stand out more when the training and elevator scenes are back-to-back. I think it works either way, and just depends on your preference. The differences don’t bother me personally.

Also the background doesn’t bother me either. Trying to add traffic to the background definitely feels like TOO MUCH work to be worth the effort.

It does sound like rescoring is a pain, but the choices you’ve
made so far feel like a massive improvement over the original to my ears.

Another editing suggestion regarding the first Grand Inquisitor shot: I really like what you did here. Kind of a spooky reveal of the Grand Inquisitor. (It is impressive how you truncated that interaction, and it really improved it.)
I do think it might help to try to cut away from dolly in shot of the bartender behind the bar before he starts moving left of frame. Maybe before he sits the bottle down. Since he is static in the following shot, the movement stood out to me.

I also wonder if you could place the shot of Kenobi (the one we see after the bartender says they hunt Jedi) right after the reveal shot of the Grand Inquisitor. Cutting to Kenobi, who is a distance away from them, in my mind helps sell the idea that the bartender walked to the front of the bar while we were away, even if only for a brief moment. I also think there is a nice logic of revealing the Grand Inquisitor, then showing Kenobi’s immediate “oh shit” reaction.

This isn’t important, but there is one shot in the scene of the Grand Inquisitors shadow passing over a bar patron sitting down. I feel like this shot would be great to build up to the GI reveal, maybe being placed before the first shot of the bartender reacting to the GI walking in. The shot is used in the scene already though, but you could replace it with a shot of the three patrons at the bar top that was cut from your version (we see that shot around when the GI walks up to the lightsaber marks on the wall). Just an idea though! [And if you do use it, the shot might work better if it was reversed, but I can’t tell.]

The song you used at the end of the scene fit quite well!

I also like the idea you had of using a shot of the ringworld from Book of Boba Fett (feel like I should be saying Mandalorian). I do think that specific shot, of a ship leaving the ringworld, might be a little confusing since we just saw Obi-Wan about to board a ship on Tatooine, then see him leave a different place on a different ship. This might not work, but I wonder if you could use different establishing shots of the ringworld to imply that Kenobi is hiding/meditating in a storage container on the outer surface of the ring, the substrata, rather than on a ship floating through space somewhere. The colors of the ship Kenobi is in matches the color scheme of the substrata, so I feel like you could sell the idea. You could add pipe sounds or something too help sell the idea with ambience. And then after Kenobi has the vision, you could use that shot of the shuttle leaving the ringworld to make it seem like Kenobi is leaving to go rescue Leia.

Again, I do agree that you could accept Star Wars logic and Leia was kidnapped not long after Obi-Wan left Tatooine for totally different reasons, but I think this idea does help clarify his motivations a bit. And having a nice, quiet establishing shot or two could help with the flow of the narrative too.

You are totally right though regarding your thoughts of Bail. If Bail had Obi-Wan on speed dial all of this time, you’d think he would’ve just sent a message to Obi-Wan directly in A New Hope.

Also, great job with the binocular shot! Think it works better now.

I hope I’m not giving an overwhelming amount of feedback. I think what you’ve done so far is great, and you should trust your gut!