-Anakin shows Padme C3P0 after dinner.
Because it totally interrupts the flow where it is now-- the story is about helping the Queen. The story is already floundering when the sandstorm hits-- we need to get to that dinner scene asap. The 3P0 scene is bad enough where ever it goes-- it's just more welcome after we know where the story is going. Plus it starts to back up the kid's claims of greatness better here, immediately following his "fastest pod-racer ever built" lines. It feels just plain weird to me where it is in TPM.
Sidenote: You seem to be pushing back Qui-Gon's notice/interest in Anakin's potential. Moving the conversation between him and Shmi is an interesting suggestion, but only if it can be edited smoothly. If not, it should stay as-si. Seeing his bet to free Anakin is essential though, IMO. It makes the stakes even higher: although he doesn't know it, Anakin is racing for his freedom. Moving the probe droid report to Maul up does make sense though, as the one Qui-Gon cut down is obviously not the one who returns to Maul.
The Shmi conversation can be moved very smoothly-- it actually opens up that goodbye scene much better.
Seeing the bet to free Anakin is essential? Well, I may have agreed at one time-- but I can't anymore. The idea that Qui Gonn has already made up his mind about the boy doesn't raise tension in the pod race -- it drains it completely. Did you really think the boy wouldn't win? I think the pod-race is awesome, but the end was never really in doubt and the idea that he was racing for his freedom was the furthest thing from my mind.
The bet makes the race a forgone conclusion -- Qui Gonn's side bet makes it unimaginable that Anakin could lose.
The worst damage it does is makes the podrace all about it's outcome-- there is nothing important being learned during that long sequence. It's just watching a pair of dice roll and roll and roll until it comes up "7." But if Qui Gonn hasn't made up his mind about the boy-- the race is full of tension and becomes what you want it to be-- a race for freedom. We know if Qui Gonn wants the boy, he'll figure out a way to get him. But this way it's the race that decides whether Qui Gonn wants him or not. As he says, he didn't come here to free slaves. But he will free the chosen one-- if that's who the boy turns out to be. That's the discovery Qui Gonn should be making as the kid wins this one after falling impossibly behind.
Imagine it my way for a second at least-- try it on.
-Anakin says goodbye to his mother and leaves (improved with tone poem, if possible)
-Maul sees Anakin for a moment, keeps fighting (don't know if we can do this)
Little things we should try if we can.
Exactly my thought.
-(cut the intro of Anakin to Obi Wan -- it's too upbeat) Fly away--
Agree about the upbeatness of it, but it is essential nonetheless. Cutting "You're a Jedi too?" would help. If you wanted to go really extreme with it, just mute all Anakin's dialogue in the exchange and have a clip of ominous music or something.
I would have agreed before-- but now not so much. Why is it essential? This isn't the Obi Wan story. The reason I think it has to go is that Lloyd's performance of those lines is more than off-- it is the absolute inarguable personification of a boy who hasn't got a care in the world. There is no way that kid is thinking about having lost his mom. He is not thinking about the Sith who almost killed him. That kid is just glad to meet Ewan McGregor for some reason. And that KILLS the story.
But if you imagine a different version-- Qui Gonn collapses on the floor; Obi Wan and Anakin rush in- Qui Gonn addresses them about that thing-- the ship takes off-- we cut to the EXT. SHIP FLYING shot-- we can keep the AUDIO of the introduction without the visual and solve this critical problem.
-Maul/Grievous reports to Gunray in the palace by trasmission. Nute's stoic, but clearly not thrilled.
Good, but I take it no close ups of Maul? Or just darkening the hood to complete blackness? That might be for the best, though we'd lose the one true Maul hologram clip, it would make the editing much smoother.
That's one way to go-- I'd try another as well-- using the Maul close ups and darkening the stars in the background to match the dark int. Castle background. If we use the fullscreen version cropped, that will make the job a lot easier and if we can only pull it off for a half a second it will make a huge difference.
Sidenote: The order of the Coruscant sequence should stay as-is. Having ALL the Senate stuff then ALL the Jedi stuff is too much of the same thing continuously. Let them break each other up.
You say this, but have you actually looked at it to try it? There isn't that much material in each category. "ALL" the senate stuff is only a couple minutes. And it completely screws up the flow of the personal story that's going on in the Jedi stuff. Letting the Jedi stuff flow teases out what's really going on in Qui Gonn's head. Cut the way it is makes it all very distant and cold. No momentum of any emotional sort is built up before we shift over to the other side that has no emotional momentum built up. These are two sequences that do not need to "break each other up."
We agreed earlier that we would also cut out the Anakin looks for Padme scene. So keep that in mind when you try looking at this footage. It goes faster as two sequences rather than six scenes.
-Queen reveals her plan -- Qui Gonn tunes out, disappointed (don't even explain the whole thing-- show him disinterested and bring up somber music). Amidala is brave, but this is hopeless...
This is good, I like this a lot.
extremely rough first cut. I haven't played much with blending the music or anything yet. 
