Sounds like a great idea; I’ll see how it does!
Even if we have to cut back to the X-wings descending and lose Poe’s 78th time saying, “Give [it] everything [you] got,” that’ll still be an organic transition.
4320720081260082-824-1018
Hmm… needs a TK in there somewhere. I’d shorten it to TK-824. Yeah. Now, to check my bank statement.
The music in the TIE scene is fine, but I think the TIEs themselves are too loud and the crowd is not loud enough.
Not a problem, especially since there’ll be no music replacement anyway.
In the scene where Hux reports that the weapon is ready and is instructed to prepare it, it sounds like their target is the Resistance since they only refer to their target as “them” and not as “the Republic”. Not sure how this can be improved but I think it should be made clearer than it is at the moment.
The problem is that difficult (probably impossible) FX work would be required to be able to keep the dialogue about targeting the Republic specifically. My thinking is that by not naming anyone, it telegraphs to the audience that their target is understood. Later, we get a Hitler speech making it clear what the target is.
If I may ask: What was changed in the briefing scene and the next one?
Removing tiny bits of dialogue leftovers. When Finn meets Leia, removed reference to “the weapon that destroyed the Hosnian system,” and during the briefing, removed exposition that SKB is now targeting the Resistance base.
And in the latest video the music cut after “Give it everything you got” is quite noticeable.
Yes. Structurally, I think this reordering is a very good thing. But, there is no wiggle room on either side to allow much crossfading. I will experiment with using the soundtrack to buffer it, if I can.
Everything else seems fine but there is another scene that needs work I think: The SKB explosion and Resistance fleet leaving scene. The music and pilot reactions are too happy for the restructured plot. The latter can be cut but I fear this scene needs new music which might be quite hard to pull off.
Yeah, and that might have to be chalked up to artistic Star Wars license, to have them be happy when perhaps they should be more somber. After all, in TFA no one appears to give a shit after the Republic capital is obliterated; Leia seems almost bored, Poe is happy as can be, and it comes off as a minor fringe attack.
Here’s a potential bit of restructuring that can help the removal of the cutaway to the Resistance HQ feel more organic.
https://vimeo.com/170889793
After Han is killed and Hosnian Prime is destroyed, Kylo Ren starts to hobble toward Finn and Rey, who begin to run away. Cut to the areal dogfight, and a pilot notes that they now have a chance to infiltrate the oscillator. Cut back to Finn and Rey making for the Falcon and encountering Kylo Ren. After Rey and Kylo begin to fight, cut to the X-wings descending toward the trench.
This would bump the pilots noticing the damaged oscillator up to right after it happens, and cover an otherwise awkward cut.
Also, there’s a quick cutaway during the trench run to Hux being informed the base is almost ready to fire. But, that’s easily removed.
EDIT: Also, also, I believe this project of ours will end up removing all mention of Hosnian Prime by name. Not a big deal, just a note. It was super easy to miss as it was anyway, and this wouldn’t affect the plot. People will be more apt to mistake it for Coruscant, which it is the functional equivalent of.
Any specific music craps that stick out?
The shot would have to be played in reverse, having the camera pull back from a closeup, to match the downward movement of the star trail.
I will do a mockup so we can see what we think.
Here’s a clip showing all the necessary changes to pull this off.
https://vimeo.com/170400167
For the clip with Finn and the TIEs, I used the most recent in-progress FX shots from Jackpumpkinhead, so these aren’t nailed down yet. For the audio, I couldn’t find a selection of music that fit in better than what was already there, since it would need to fade back into the music that ends the scene and begins the next. I just brought the sound down so you could hear the TIEs, and not feel like the music was too dramatic for what was onscreen.
Please, register feedback so we can improve what’s here.
Bread is a good time for me!
Bread is a good time for everybody!
I started a new job (career, really) and so haven’t had nearly as much free time and mental energy to spend here.
But, does anyone know any foley effects that would fit in well for the people at Maz’s when they react to the looming TIES and Star Destroyer? Not mass panic, just a commotion enough for Fin to turn around.
Sounds terribly exciting.
Very good ideas in there. I’ll have to play around and see how it strikes me in finished form.
And Finn and Han know that Luke is in danger if they come for the map.
I think this works well for that hypothetical audience who hasn’t seen the film and doesn’t suspect anything.
Good, because that’s exactly what I was picturing!
From the other thread, here’s what I have so far for the scene. The line is, “It’s the First Order, they’ve done it.” I scoured the film and couldn’t find anything to replace the second part of the line, but it doesn’t sound that odd. He just sounds a little weird, like, “Now they’ve really done it!”
https://vimeo.com/165767941
Fantastic!
The podrace scenes sounds like a wonderful idea, for so many reasons.
But, would that necessitate either recasting the yellow pod we see as Watto’s all along?
Not that this really needs to be said, because we all know it: This was not my idea! I just want to see an edit that pretty much does this and leaves the rest of the film as is. (And to work together to perfect the approach so it’ll be available to others.)
All right, guys. I didn’t wanna do it, but I felt compelled: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/TFA-A-Gentle-Restructure/id/50117
Star Wars - Episode VII: The Force Awakens: Restructured V6
The following information and more can be found at FanEdit.org, home of the fan edits.
Running time is about 136 minutes.
Tagline: It’s another Death Star…
Synopsis: It’s the same Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens you fell in love with, only restructured slightly so that Starkiller Base does not fire until close to the end of the film.
During the battle over Starkiller Base, the stakes are no longer protecting the Resistance base, but preventing the destruction of the Republic Capitol. Even though they destroy the First Order’s superweapon, they fail to do so in time to save the day.
Intention: To move the destruction of the Hosnian system to the climax of the film, and and implement all the little things necessary to facilitate it seamlessly.
How does this restructuring help the film?
• The second act centers around the events of Maz’s castle and remains focused on the characters and their struggle to keep the First Order from finding the map to Luke. The First Order catching up to Han and Rey is sufficient motivation for Finn to decide not to leave, without the Hosnian system being destroyed.
• Starkiller Base firing upon the Hosnian system in the third act links it very closely to Kylo Ren’s resolution toward the dark side as he kills Han. Pairing these events magnifies each.
• Han taking a risk motivated by love for his son which brings about costly failure is a dark mirror of Vader doing the same in Return of the Jedi and ending up helping to save the galaxy.
• It alleviates the plot’s very close parallel with the original Star Wars.
• Starkiller Base is depicted as functioning in an intuitive way: it drains the nearby star (or “the Sun,” as Finn describes it), which covers it in darkness, and then fires on the Republic Capitol. Gone are the awkward questions about why the planet was still in daylight when it fired the first time during the second act, and whether the base is mobile.
• It avoids depicting the Hosnian system clearly visible to the naked eye, very large in the sky, from lightyears away. The official Lucasfilm canon answer is that Starkiller Base created a “space-time disruption,” an obvious bandaid answer to apologize for a wanton move on the filmmakers’ part. One wonders whether such intersystem spectacles are common in this world, because no one who witnessed the destruction had the slightest trouble identifying what was happening.
• It avoids raising the question of why the Resistance did not begin evacuating their base during the third act when they know they are the target. In the original Star Wars, the Death Star was looming overhead; here, there’s no obvious reason why they could not have fled.
This project was born of the emergent idea from all over the Internet after we all saw the film. Numerous people at OriginalTrilogy.com suggested this idea immediately after release.
See also William Gillis’ blog post which explains his rationale for desiring this change: https://humaniterations.net/2016/03/26/how-to-fix-the-force-awakens/
Other sources: Various sound effects from the Star Wars franchise
Special Thanks:
Everyone at OriginalTrilogy.com who contributed, including:
NeverarGreat (Visual and audio effects)
Sir Ridley (Visual and audio effects)
Jackpumpkinhead (Visual effects)
Sherman (Cover artwork)
MalàStrana (English and French subtitles)
Burbin (Visual effect, Spanish subtitles)
Octorox
Smithers
Chris Solo
Ben_danger
That_OT_Ruler
RogueLeader
Kexikus
Bingowings
Darthrush
ImperialFighter
Yuri_Kenobi
Littlev87
Tomo
Cheebo
DominicCobb
TK251
SkywalkerFan01
Rpvee
Scott109
DigMod
DuracellEnergizer
Sougouk
EddieDean
Willrow-Hood
ForceGhostRecon
Jack of All Trades
Vladius
Spiphisser
Marduk666
Chyron8472
HyperDown
Oojason
DougieP
Edezio Enk’or Valorum
Hardcore Legend
JawsTDS
Yotsuya
StarWarsFan Sweden
Valheru_84
KumoNin
SUP3RDeathStar
Jarbear
Bromeo
RogueLeader
AbramPT
Darth_ender
Possessed
YodaFan67
ChainsawAsh
Guilty
Ray_afraid
Anjohan
Tobar
Fishmanlee
Krlozdac
Others:
William Gillis (Blogger who voiced the core idea for this project which appeared shortly after the film’s release)
Noodle_Finger (fan editor behind a prior TFA edit)
Special features:
Fan Editor’s Commentary
Chapter stops
Subtitles (English, Spanish, and French)
Cuts and Additions (V6 changes marked with asterisks):
Poe’s ladder retracts as he prepares to take off from Jakku (borrowed from NeverarGreat’s Starlight project)*
Removed the glow from Kylo Ren’s saber during a shot it is deactivated (borrowed from NeverarGreat’s Starlight project)*
As Finn mans the TIE fighter with Poe, trimmed firing upon fellow stormtroopers so soon after planning to escape. Now, he causes peripheral damage to prevent them from firing at him and takes aim at the command center. (Slightly shifted the placement of the film’s trademark Wilhelm scream in order to retain it.)
Removed Kylo Ren identifying Finn’s stormtrooper ID from memory.
Added the Falcon jumping to hyperspace after leaving Jakku, then being ripped from hyperspace soon after, along with removing a now-out-of-place line from Finn about “get[ting] out of this system.” (FX by NeverarGreat)
Trimmed Finn repeating, “cute boyfriend.”*
Removed Han’s somewhat kindly, “Come on outta there” to Finn and Rey while leaving the directional nod (thanks to NeverArGreat).
Removed Rey saving Finn from the rathtars, cutting from Finn’s line, “They look like that,” to Han and Chewie arriving at the door to the Falcon.
Removed General Hux from the first scene with Snoke, where he suggests using the weapon to destroy the Republic. (FX by Jackpumpkinhead to remove Hux walking offscreen during first shot)
Removed Finn’s comedic line about almost being killed several times by Chewie while tending to him on the Falcon (Mimicked DigModiFicaTion’s approach).
Removed the holochess game cameo (help from NeverArGreat and Burbin).
Removed Han describing the need for Maz to help them get a ‘clean ship.’ It doesn’t add anything, and their motives are already clear enough. (Idea from NeverArGreat)
Subtle rendition of the first part of the Emperor’s Theme has been added to the Imperial March as we see Vader’s shattered helmet (thanks to Sir Ridley).
Trimmed Maz’s journey across the table (borrowed from NeverarGreat’s Starlight project)*
Added two lines from the Emperor during Rey’s Force vision to very gently hint toward the revelations within Episode IX.
Repurposed excised footage from the rathtar sequence to depict Rey separated from Finn in her Force vision. (Thanks to NeverArGreat)
After Rey flees Maz’s castle after her Force vision, replaced the Hosnian system being destroyed in the sky with a Star Destroyer. Finn and Han now gaze up to see that the First Order has caught up with them, as they feared. Finn’s line to Han about the First Order has been changed, including a brief visual modification to his mouth. (FX by Sir Ridley and NeverarGreat)
Added a shot of the ship Finn is preparing to leave on, to imply Rey is planning to accompany him (borrowed from NeverarGreat’s Starlight project)*
Throughout the battle at Maz’s castle, applied a slight sunset color correction to harmonize the sunset lighting present before and afterward.
Audio from the trailer was used to add a sound effect to a TIE being shot down (turned out to be barely noticeable, but I did it anyway).
Slightly restructured Finn running after Rey (borrowed from NeverarGreat’s Starlight project)*
New deleted scene included of Leia discussing the Republic. The scene was originally intended for earlier in the film, and Leia’s prominent braid has been removed to match her scenes immediately prior and after. Audio has been redesigned to accompany a finished film, and the sequence retimed to accommodate it. (FX by Sir Ridley and NeverarGreat)
When Finn is introduced to Leia, removed mention of the Hosnian system’s destruction, though retained mention that Finn had worked on the base (thanks to FX work by NeverarGreat).
R2 now has a blinking light to indicate that he has begun searching for the map. (FX by NeverarGreat)
After Rey resists Kylo Ren’s mind probe, added the portion of the Snoke scene from earlier where General Hux suggests using the weapon to destroy the Republic. Kylo Ren’s face has been overlaid where his mask was for one shot, and a few shots from behind have had the back of his head replace his hood. (FX by Jackpumpkinhead and krlozdac)
Fixed two continuity errors introduced by the restructuring: Snoke is now seen rising from his seat in a new context rather than suddenly appearing upright, and his mouth no longer moves in a shot in which he is silent. (Thanks to NeverArGreat for the former.)
Moved General Hux’s impassioned speech to after Kylo Ren overreacts to Rey’s escape from her cell.
After the speech, the nearby Sun beings to be drained, as Hux and the troops gaze upon the stream being sucked into the planet. (Recolored to yellow-orange, and reversed so as to appear to be going down into the ground)
During the briefing scene at the Resistance base, removed Leia identifying their base as the Starkiller’s next target, Threepio lamenting the prior loss of the Republic fleet, and well as mention that the First Order is charging the weapon “again.”
Cleaned up the smoke and debris around the Starkiller weapon exhaust when the X-Wings approach. (FX by NeverarGreat)
During a brief cutaway to the Resistance base as Han and Chewie infiltrate the oscillator, removed Threepio’s line, “It would take a miracle to save us now.”
Removed Finn’s comedic moment of misunderstanding Han’s head nod while searching for Rey (Mimicked DigModiFicaTion’s approach).
Immediately after Kylo Ren kills Han, the Starkiller fires and destroys the Hosnian system, as Leia senses it through the Force. (Some FX by Sir Ridley and NeverarGreat; V6 uses a shot from Starlight to remove an extra casually walking by during Leia’s reaction shot)*
As Finn and Rey start to head outside the oscillator, cut to Snoke and Hux planning to destroy the Resistance. (FX by Sir Ridley)
First Order technician redubbed to state the weapon will be fully “re”-charged in 30 seconds. (Voice from AbramPT)
Chewie has been cropped out of a shot of him walking past Leia. (Crop and image enhancement by Sir Ridley)
Extended the shot of R2 waking up, to allow him to finish searching his backup data. (FX by NeverarGreat)
Added a cloaked binary beacon from TLJ next to Finn (borrowed from NeverarGreat’s Starlight project)*
Color corrected Ach-to to bring it a little closer to the corresponding scene’s lighting and weather conditions in The Last Jedi.
Added a few subtle porg sounds to the background, replacing two native bird sounds.
The final shot of the film has been stabilized. (FX by NeverarGreat)
I like the idea of not seeing R2 at all until the very end of the movie. I’ll have to see how that works.
And I’m hesitant to start a new thread myself, lest I be pushed forward as the guy who is allegedly going to be seeing such a SKB restructure edit to completion. 😕
Absolutely, the TIEs need to be very distant to explain people gawking, as well as giving Han and Finn time to get to the basement before Maz exclaims, “They’re here!”
It only exists in 720p, being mostly sourced from Harmy’s De- and Re-Specialized Editions.
RogueLeader, I had done the very same thing with the scene where Finn meets Leia, after concluding that mention of SKB would have to necessarily be removed. I agree this is the only way to handle the scene given our “Hosnian destruction post-Han death” goal.
Jack, I agree with RogueLeader about the logic behind seeing the TIEs coming in. I don’t think xxTelecine 7xx would mind if I posted his version of the Fx for that shot: https://youtu.be/2ic4AmaBZFE?t=8s
You can see the TIEs are coming in headlong from the distance, making logical sense to cut back to Rey, who has run far away, seeing them coming from overhead.
I think a good next step for that sequence would be to work on the audio side of things, finding suitable low-key music and foley. I looped some TIE sounds so it sounds like a distant swarm is coming, as I posted earlier.
Haha, sometimes that’s the feedback loop we fall into with some of these projects around here. 😛
Subtitle the sand people phonetically (“URRRGH HURRRGH”), and dub then with Microsoft Sam reading your subtitles.
