Hal 9000

I noticed the repeat of the music for the deleted scene. So, I will attempt to rectify this. If you have any ideas, Mala, you would be a good candidate to come up with a good idea, given your other musical tweaks to the PT. Thanks in advance!

AbramPT said:

• Luke’s saber toss is a bummer. I remember seeing a clip somewhere in which Luke simply drops the lightsaber at his feet. Is this not doable? The lightsaber completely leaves the frame so maybe all that would be needed would be a sound effect of it hitting the ground? I’m no film editor, so perhaps there’s much more to it, but I remember the clip being fairly convincing.

I do genuinely like that Luke throws the saber, echoing ROTJ’s saber toss in a meaningful way. I just don’t like the comic manner in which it was executed. I love the ‘alternate take’ seen in the bonus material, it’s just too bad we don’t have it framed in such a way as could actually be used seamlessly.

• To my surprise, I actually missed the complete introduction of Rose. You removed the fan-girly moment very well, but in the end, I don’t think the edit is necessary. Just a personal preference.

Rose in this edit no longer appears “deliberately out of place in a Star Wars movie.” At least, that’s the idea. Removing her “doing talking” “The Office” moment here helps with that. Given Finn’s ego, I think it’s okay to have him jump straight to, “Look, I’m not a hero, but thanks.”

• During Finn’s “sacrificial moment,” I missed the shot where his ship’s gun peels back from the radiation being emitted by the battering gun. It was at that point in the movie when I realized that Finn wouldn’t be able to fire a shot down the centre of the barrel, therefore making Rose’s interference make a little more sense. I also just thought it was a cool shot.

Fair point! I will see if that can be put back without having to go back to the extended build-up to the moment of “subverting our expectation.”

• Finally, I would love to see that little speck in the sun disappear during Luke’s final moments. It’s such a minuscule detail, but the first time I watched TLJ, I actually thought a ship was on its way to save Luke at the last second.

I would, too. Can anyone do that? I imagine it’s pretty easy.

MalàStrana said:

Side note: have you noticed that Hux speech “the Republic is no more”, stated as if it was a very recent event, actually fits better with TFA:R than with its theatricul cut ? (has Rian Johnson been aware of the restructed project ? 😃)

That occurred to me as well. Happy accident.

edit: on the other hand, I’m afraid that the deleted scene with Finn summing up what he missed from the previous film is problematic since he doesn’t mention the Republic being destroyed…

Nah, Finn was clearly summing up the positive things to happen, leading up to asking, “So why doesn’t this feel like winning?” Plus, the Republic was destroyed while he was busy and then he was knocked out. Either way, it’s all right.

MalàStrana said:

Changes that need to be implemented:

• Apply DrDre’s LUT to the deleted footage.

Not to the deleted footage, but the whole film.

Changes considered but not decided yet:

• Sneaking in an honest “I have a bad feeling about this” would be to slip one in by 3PO (from offscreen)

Most likely not.

Other changes that don’t have a convincing way to be implemented yet:

• Alter Luke tossing the saber (Darthruss has almost found a way to do so, the main issue being if Luke just drops it how would it be explained that the saber is a few shots later so close to the shore ?)

See earlier comment in this post.

• Alter Maz caméo (maybe trimming it would be enough, since there is no underscore during that scene and that half of it is off-screen ?)

Probably not. If it’s there at all, may as well let it be. Not cutting the sex joke either!

• Remove Poe’s “big ass door”

This was a small thing that bothered me. But whatever.

Well, I had the chance to watch my own workprint in one sitting tonight. I am happy with it, overall.

I think I’ll need to ruminate (read: hem and haw) about potentially removing Snoke berating Hux at the end of the opening battle, as Mala proposed. Not sure yet. But it might help steer clear of laughing at Star Wars rather than with it.

One idea for sneaking in an honest “I have a bad feeling about this” would be to slip one in by 3PO (from offscreen) right before Leia tells him to wipe a nervous expression off his face, sourced from one of many times I’m sure Anthony Daniels has recorded the line in spinoff material. However, this would likely feel shoehorned in and undercut the existing nice joke.

Luke having a moment works well, and it isn’t overly abrupt to have a few short scenes. The scene with Poe and Finn works well, since we see Leia and Poe separately before they meet and have their argument. It is also nice after all to set up Finn’s standing at the front end of the movie given the cuts made (or even so). You guys were right. While not strictly necessary, I noticed the repeat of music with Luke’s moment and walking out of the tree.

The caretakers being gone feels right. As much as I like their deleted scene, it is better for Luke and Rey to have their falling out after it seems like Luke might actually come around and finally decide to train her, and opening himself back up to the Force which Leia senses. It wouldn’t make as much sense for him to do that unless he was just about to repent and accept his responsibility.

The second act is a bit long and can get a little “”“boring,”"" but only in the same sense as ESB. I feel the absence of the fathier sequence, but only in the same way AOTC’s droid factory sequence. Overall I think it’s a good deletion which helps keep the second act less bloated and topheavy, even if it has a bit less energy.

The removal of the iron gag also robs the second act of some of its steam (pun very much intended) and momentum in that moment, though I plan to leave it as it stands in the workprint. This version of the film isn’t paced any worse off than Empire, it’s just that it’s a 2010’s movie. It seems to lean in the opposite direction of TFA.

Moving the Yoda scene ala Darthrush is my favorite single alteration. Fits perfectly as a bridge between acts 2 and 3.

Finn and Rose’s story arc works fine in this version. The focus is not on them for as much of the movie and their side quest to Canto Bight doesn’t bog down the movie, and the focus is kept on its relation to the main Resistance story. What was cut from Canto Bight would just be one of those things you read about or see in the deleted scenes reel. “Wow, this scene really sheds light onto other moments in the movie but I totally understand and agree with the director cutting it out.”

Very much looking forward to making a night out of the finished product, and wanted to say I LOVE the title. Perfect!

On August 3, 1979?

MalàStrana said:

Hal 9000 said:

if Mala is interested in heading up subtitles I wouldn’t complain

That’s fine with me 😉 I’ll just be waiting for the very last version to be locked, since with “newcomers” watching workprint#2 there might be some new useful feedbacks (and a very good idea no one has been thinking about may as well pop up out of the blue).

Very much appreciated, and not taken for granted! And of course, definitely wait for a point at which it is declared ‘locked.’

That’s being said, some quick last feedback and questions :

• About Canto Bright, I really think some of the balcony scene (yeah, another balcony scene ! me again with balcony scenes…) should be reinstalled, otherwise the whole affair feels way too rushed (the Ivan guy on the tube doing a radical edit of TLJ got it in a way that would fit your edit very well, you should check it to be sure about that; it would just readd something like 30/40 seconds back);

Honestly, and I only bring this up because it is referenced here, I was very much unimpressed with his handling of this sequence. Many of his proposed changes seem myopic to me. In this case, they bother to go onto the balcony only to say, “Gee whiz, fathiers, eh?” with nothing to do with anything else that remains in that version of the movie.

For this project’s version of the sequence, it plays as intentionally “subversive” of your expectations. It sets it up as a big setpiece, and the heroes meet the glamorous codebreaker they were looking for, only to have the rug ripped out from under them and have to meet the stinky codebreaker in jail. In a movie that over and over again “subverts your expectations,” I think it plays well as another instance of exactly that.

• Is the Holdo/Leia “may the Force be with you” joke gonna be removed ? It felt more as a meta joke to make fun of Star Wars than anything else;

I’ve seen this snipped out of several initial fan edits, but I would personally have a very hard time removing Carrie Fischer’s ironicly bittersweet line, “You go on, I’ve said it enough.” (Similar to her later line, “What are you looking at me for? Follow him!”)

• I may have missed something but wasn’t the AT-ST run around 1:43:35 considered to be removed ? (I don’t really mind it - there or not there - but I agree it’s a shot which feels off);

I was going to remove it to make the audio transition easier into the deleted scene snippet onboard the shuttle, but without that scene it serves as a bumper well enough, cartoony though it may be. But that was the original reason I removed it, which isn’t there anymore.

• I still really think that Hux repeating Ren’s orders at 1:55:47 should be removed, as well as the following scene where Ren Force pushes him around 2:03:22. I mean Luke is there and is the central point of the story with Ren, so I don’t think that humor with Hux is needed there at all, it’s over the top and jarring humor at this point and Hux no longer is a character I find interesting/menacing enough to actively take part in this dramatic battle/climax;

There’s no way I would remove Ren smacking him into the wall, as I love that moment. The other moment, to me, seems like a character beat for him. Hux is sucking up to the new boss, same as the old boss, even as he resents him. I did, however, remove Hux echoing Ren’s order to pursue the Falcon. (Seems to me that should be viewed as bad military strategy by Hux, and motivated by Ren’s personal history with it.)

• I would be in favor of removing the useless and distracting captain obvious scene of the “we’re taking heavy loses” around 1:55:55, in order to stay with the rebel raid (it would also remove a not very subtle call back to the OT rebel sequences in a very talkative movie);

Fair. Can’t say I disagree; I’ll think it over when I can!

• Would it be possible to keep Rose’s “dummy” after “I saved you” ?

The music is flawless as it is at present, and that wouldn’t be the case if I change anything about the sync of that scene! I like that now she seems slightly delirious before kissing Finn and passing out. Granted, this scene is problematic to tackle no matter what route one would take.

• At what point in the edit does BB8 bip “I’ve got a bad feeling about that” ? (is there a hard yellow subtitle like the ones you’ve made for the PT ?);

See Ash’s answer; not my change, just RJ’s justification.

• And since there is currently no better and not jarring solution than keeping the theatrical versions, I’m OK by default with Luke tossing the saber and the terrible Maz caméo (I really wish someone finds a way to fix or trim them !).

Yeah… my thoughts exactly, too.

For what I have seen, the edit works well and can easily replace the official cut without anything giving away its “fanedit” nature, and with around 10 minutes removed and a little handful of good material added, it should get a better pace. Good work guys !

Thanks very much. That’s exactly what I hope for it.

As we potentially approach a point at which the edit can be ‘locked in,’ would anyone be interested in creating cover artwork for it? OnlyOneKenobi did the prequels’ and has been missing for a few years. Sherman did TFA:R’s, so if he’s interested that’s fit nicely.

I do not assume interest in this one will carry over merely due to prior projects, but if Mala is interested in heading up subtitles I wouldn’t complain. I suppose this one, more so than TFA:R which did not get one, could do with a commentary track.

The Reddit post for this project has been updated with a link to the new workprint. I’ll be PMing those requesting it here.

I feel good about this workprint. The edit is not nearly as radical as many out there. It leans more in the direction of TFA:R’s gentle approach than the prequels’ more drastic one. Other than having yet to apply DrDre’s LUT, consider this a release candidate.

New for this workprint:

Reinstated the ‘Luke has a moment’ deleted scene

Reinstated the deleted scene where Finn gets his jacket back

Blended sound effect of Anakin’s lightsaber with the original sound in two shots

Added a center wipe transition from Finn and DJ’s conversation to the fleet being attacked

Removed the iron/spaceship gag using a few shots from a deleted scene

The crate Luke sits on is now stabilized and motionless

Inserted a Wilhelm scream somewhere in the movie (though I brought the volume down a bit after rending this workprint, so it won’t be as loud as you hear it in this)

Tobar said:

Just found this. How’s this for an alternate ending? 😉

Nice. 😃

Just an idea, would it be possible to have little Anakin say something about how he found 3PO ravaged in the desert and fixed him up? Instead of appearing to build him from the ground up?

Well, let me get that radial wipe implemented and I ought to have something rendered to put out tomorrow morning.

I think if this version is what I would have seen, I would still have had issues with it (even after taking a long time to digest and come around to the Luke story), but would have felt it bears its own flaws. I’m looking forward to testing that idea by watching it while pretending it’s my first viewing at all.

Thanks very much, pleasehello! I will take a look at the clip tonight, though I don’t anticipate there being any problems with it.

MalàStrana said:

So, I guess Hux being humiliated in front of the other officers by Snoke will remain in the edit ? Darthrush posted an interesting - albeit not 100% perfect imho - take on it.

Yes. I’m not out to rescue Hux from being made fun of; he ought to be. They aren’t taking potshots at him because he’s a white man, but because he’s a Nazi egomaniac. That little scene sets up Snoke’s line, “Tied on the end of a string, indeed,” and his smirk toward Kylo as they pass each other by.

Thanks for the ETA, Ridley. I still look forward to seeing how that shakes out, but I will likely allow the Frank Oz original to remain for my cut. I’ve gotten over the initial shock of the Sesame Street-ness of it. Sort of like how 3PO felt so weirdly out of place when he first appeared in TFA because of how modern everything else was handled. He is very 1930’s retrofuture, even in 1977.

pleasehello said:

I might already have this one in the can. I did something similar for my edit.

Do you want to wipe from Poe back to the island after the “dead heroes, no leaders” conversation with Leia?

Awesome, I appreciate that. Yes, that is the point at which we would transition back.

And yeah, I’m still using Final Cut Pro 7, actually. And you’ll pry it from my cold, dead hands. If I take on a fan editing project of any seriousness going forward, I will dual-boot a copy of Mac OS 10.12 in order to keep running it. Final Cut Pro X can bite my shiny metal ass.

Also, I snuck in a Wilhelm scream. It’ll be up to you to find it, once this thing is released. I didn’t try to add someone saying, “I have a bad feeling about this,” because BB8 says the line (I guess) and because I doubt there’d be a way to do it that isn’t jarring.
So, if you can accept BB8’s delivery of the line, this edit will also keep the Wilhelm tradition going.

If we could address the radial wipe, I am very pleased with the current state of affairs regarding this edit and might render out a second workprint. Not that I’d recommend watching the whole thing again yet, mind you, for those who watched the first one.

Things that remain -

I still need to find a way to apply DrDre’s LUT to my footage.

There are pros and cons to using the package deal of ‘Luke has a Moment’ and ‘Finn and Poe’

Would be nice to rescore that scene, but the music fits it much better than the tree scene and the tree scene would be very difficult to rescore (might be okay as is)

Radial wipe from Poe back to the island (would be nice)

Sir Ridley’s upcoming augmented Yoda puppetry (might just be better to leave it as is)

Still wish there was a way to remove Poe’s “big ass door”

Yeah… I am very doubtful that I’ll be able to pull off reinstating that snippet scene to my liking. It’s all right, though. The three of them bounding off in their AT-ST serves as a scene bumper fine as it is.

If you have Premiere yourself, pleasehello, would you terribly mind creating a radial wipe for me from Poe to the island? The precise timing is not important, since the audio on both sides is pretty easy. Just try to conserve as many frames as possible while doing a reasonable match for the original in terms of timing.

It really is the little things. If you can’t or would prefer not to, I understand. But I can’t seem to stack clock wipes in a way that will yield the correct result.

Okay, Plan A at this point is to go ahead and restructure those few scenes. We’ll get Luke’s moment, then cut to Leia, the whole bit.
The problem is that the “where you belong” scene sets up the snippet as Finn and Rose escape the destroyer. As you can see below, what it seems like I would have to do to get that to work is pretty rough, audio-wise. What do you guys think about keeping the Finn and Poe deleted scene and NOT using the Finn and Rose snippet?

https://vimeo.com/270257073
password: fanedit

Also, does anyone know what the right name is for the wipe transition effect as we go from Rey saying, “I’m not leaving without you” to the ‘day in the life of Lonely Luke’ sequence? It’s similar to a clock wipe, but from both directions at once. I don’t believe my NLE can replicate this effect. Right now I have a horizontal center wipe as we go from Poe back to the island. I’d prefer to use the same wipe as in the theatrical, but it’s not a big deal.

Well, we’ll see. I’ve got an idea of how it could go, so whenever I can I will try to implement it. If it’s seamless, I could include just the scene between Finn and Poe and the snippet after Finn and Rose escape the destroyer.

He’s still a big player in the movie, with a throughline of committing to a cause and giving himself to it, being tested by DJ and Phasma along the way.
Someone could certainly take this edit and plug some more deleted scenes into it, though this one will probably only end up featuring less than a minute’s worth altogether. I think, if they were going to cut the Finn scenes with the fleet, it makes sense to order the final cut as they have. So, I’m going to preliminarily conclude that the ‘Luke has a moment’ scene really stands or falls based on whether to include those other scenes. Which I would rather not do. Or perhaps I could render an alternate cut with them. We’ll see, I guess.

I would prefer to allow the removal of most of Canto Bight to lessen the bloat of the movie, and I feel that adding that stuff back in would counteract that benefit.

JEDIT: Dumb typo

darthrush said:

You could always try and find other places to put the scene. You could even place it after Rey leaves with the Falcon and Luke feels like he has hit an all time low. I think it would be a great placement as well since it really gives you a sense of desperation before we enter the end of the Second Act.

I would not want to place that scene anywhere else in the film.

Tobar said:

The Luke scene is very important. Rian’s excuses for cutting it make no sense.

I missed why you’re opposed to cutting to Leia as was intended?

Cutting to Leia would dictate that I would need to cut back to Luke and Rey before the fleet is attacked. Without committing to re-adding 2 or 3 deleted scenes that all rely on each other, that would make for a very quick, abrupt transition back to the island.

Worst case I just don’t put the scene back in; it was designed to be juxtaposed with Leia and the island sequence in the theatrical was designed with that scene having been removed.
Just saying if it doesn’t work out, no big deal.

Well, at any rate, I think I got it more or less how I remember it being done by whomever it was.
The only thing is the music. I left in a terrible audio shift in this clip, and it is NOT finished. I need an idea for a piece of music to use for the ‘Luke has a Moment’ snippet, which I won’t be able to tackle tonight.

https://vimeo.com/270009825
password: fanedit

I remember seeing a clip of the ‘Luke has a Moment’ scene being reintegrated into the film without cutting to Leia afterward. I can’t seem to find this clip, though I remember it being executed very well.
Anyone know whose clip I am remembering?

I agree with Octorox. Thanks for the suggestion, though. It is well executed.

I can definitely play around with that. I sort of agree.