ChainsawAsh said:
Notes on the workprint, which I finally watched today:
Excellent; thank you for doing so.
- Hux joke is as good as it’s gonna get, I think
Agreed. Hopefully it threads the needle.
- Still hate the milking scene
Still love it. Ties in with the ‘harmony with nature’ theme as seen in the crystal foxes later. Also perhaps ties in weirdly with the sexual undertones of the movie. Also shows Luke regressing back to drinking weird colored milk. It’s a great bit of bizarre body image stuff that Star Wars is good for. (Looking at you, Sarlacc.)
- Something really needs to be done with Space Leia…
Nothing I’ve seen done feels like an improvement to me. I wish she weren’t frozen in place; I think that might have looked better. But, it’s our final opportunity to see Leia use the Force in a tangible way, and I don’t hate the scene.
- Chewie eating Porgs edit is exactly how I would cut it, it works wonderfully
Very good.
- Luke and Artoo edit is seamless, love it
I see what the line is going for, but it’s pretty blunt.
- Trims to Finn and Rose’s first scenes work great too
I’m iffy on it, since it seems slightly odd for Finn to volunteer “I’m not a Resistance hero” when Rose merely implied she was surprised to see him. I think it works well enough, though, keeping his “big deal” ego at play, giving him some room to grow by the end of the movie. Worth it to remove Rose’s “The Office” line which felt (explicitly, according to RJ) out of place in a Star Wars movie. A lot of Rose’s stuff like this has been cut, so it feels congruent with the rest of the edit to do so here.
- I think you might be able to cut straight from Rose’s “But who knows where the breaker room is on a Star Destroyer?” to Poe’s “Give it to me again,” bypassing the “guy who used to mop it” comment (I’m still not a fan of the Finn being a janitor backstory and it really doesn’t matter, he was a stormtrooper so there shouldn’t be a question of how he knows)
Eh. I guess it makes sense not to have had Finn be experienced in combat with the First Order, considering how quickly he changes sides and has no qualms killing his own people. Makes more sense he was sweeping the place and internally loathing what was going on around him but just keeping his head down.
- I think Maz’s sex joke can be cut without losing anything
And lose the one good thing about the scene? In the theater I said to myself, “This scene is going if I can at all help it.” But, it seems to contain important information and needs to remain. If it’s in there, the one thing I enjoyed about it must also. Besides, more sex stuff in a fairly sexual (for a Star Wars movie) Star Wars movie.
- Caretaker removal is flawless. Great work Snooker!
Agreed; that visual FX shot was the ticket. The audio was very tricky to get right, so I am glad it works as well as it seems to. The Caretakers don’t seem to have a purpose in the final cut without that deleted scene, and are just there for some yucks.
- Still think the reed joke should stay, but I can’t deny the scene still works with it gone
Agreed; it’s already been reinstated.
- Agree with others who’ve said that the specific references to amount of fuel left (“18 hours” etc.) should be cut to make it seem like the movie takes place over a somewhat longer time span
I’ll look at this. I can only think of two instances when this is mentioned: right as Finn and Rose leave the fleet, and when they are in their cell.
- Think you need to keep more of Rose’s description of Canto Bight to Finn before they land, it feels abrupt
Yes, already been done as well. Initially, I wanted to remove the implication that we’d be getting follow-up about her line. However, we sort of do from DJ as he gives Finn the facts of life.
- Otherwise, the cutting down of Canto Bight works well, though I think a little bit of restructuring may be in order to address the pacing of intercutting between stories with so much of it gone now. I think restructuring will already be necessary when adding the Luke Has a Moment scene anyway, which could have a ripple effect when you get to the Canto Bight part anyway.
I just took some time to map out the scenes, and I don’t see how reordering sequences would help, unless you have something specific in mind. While I do still plan to use the ‘Luke has a moment’ deleted scene, I do not plan on cutting directly to Leia afterward as was originally intended by RJ.
- Has someone suggested adding foley between the two shots of DJ in the cell when he has his collar up in one but down the next?
No, and I reeeeaaaaallllllly don’t care, but if someone does and has a fitting sound effect I could drop in, I guess I will.
- PLEASE don’t reinstate the cowl line, it works so much better without it!
All right, fine. The people have spoken, but I’ll only do it because the point about her being uncomfortable is still made by her body language.
- Maybe add a wipe transition after “Live free, don’t join”? The movie is a bit light on them as it is, and transitioning to the fleet like that seems like a good spot for one.
Not a bad idea, but it will depend on whether I can do so without shortening the transition by looping footage or something. We’ll give it a try, at least. I do like this idea.
- Please cut the iron gag. It makes me groan every time, and not in a good/endearing way.
I’ll see what I can do. I like the gag, but it does contribute to that uncanny feeling that something is wrong in Star Wars.
- The small trim in the Rey’s parentage reveal scene is welcome and quite seamless
Good; I’m not trying to alter anything, but it seems like that detail muddies the water unnecessarily. Without it, it seems like they sold of Rey in order to leave the planet and carouse.
- Something must be done about BB-8 in the AT-ST…
Yeah… yeah. I’m not sure what can be, though. With the film being given the Hal9000 treatment up to this point, perhaps its more palatable. I did leave in BB8’s gag during the opening battle with the circuit breaker in order to gently set up that he’s going to be somewhat cartoony, since we see him gag and bind guards and hijack an AT-ST later.
- LOVE the new placement of the Yoda scene! Maybe use a wipe to transition to Crait after it?
I think a straight cut is preferable here, especially since it’s a bit tight as it is. I also love the new placement for this scene; seems like the obvious place to put it.
- Maybe cut the Poe foot gag in the Crait assault sequence? Felt very prequel-y to me.
Eh. Never minded it. What I would much rather have been able to cut seamlessly was the “big ass door” line. Argh!
- Not sure how much of Finn’s suicide run you cut, but it felt right to me
You can thank noodle_flinger on Reddit for that one, as he did it first, and I merely replicated it, though tweaked it slightly. Helps cut down on that “subverting your expectations” thing a little.
- I’m very okay with the loss of Rose’s “saving what we love” line
Me too, now that the music is handled seamlessly. It’s all there; it just starts earlier. 😃
- I still don’t like Luke’s shoulder brush moment
I still love it. What little of “badass Luke” we get shouldn’t be diminished.
- I think broom boy works fine, even without showing him earlier at Canto Bight, but I’m still not a fan of the “decoder ring”
I can agree with that. I’ll see what I can do, but I imagine what would have to be done to remove it would feel weird. As it is, the kids are just big Star Wars fans. They even have old memorabilia, similar to Rey in TFA.
Overall I liked it a lot, but think it didn’t quite go far enough in some areas. I think when losing so much of Canto Bight, you need to restructure more liberally and add some of Finn’s act one deleted scenes and, if it can be polished adequately, the Finn/Rose shuttle scene as they escape the Star Destroyer. And I still think restructuring is necessary anyway if you plan to use the Luke Has a Moment scene, which the early Finn scenes might help out.
I was not planning to restructure anything in order to use Luke’s moment scene, and I don’t see how moving any scenes around would help the Canto Bight plot. If you do have something specific in mind, let me know, though. The Canto Bight plot was a very large, episodic digression during the first half of the second act. With it trimmed down and becoming less of a complete loop in its own right, the film seems to progress more smoothly (better pacing I guess you’d call it). I like the way the Luke and Rey scenes are clustered, so I don’t see merit to shaking these up.
Thanks for taking the time to give me some great feedback!
