Hal 9000

Here is the current roster of changes for V4, written as though already complete.

The vision Rey experiences while training with the remote has been heavily modified to better establish her apprehension about the Sith throne and her sense of unworthiness, and has been separated from Kylo’s vision (help from DominicCobb)

Added a new illustration to the ancient Jedi texts to foreshadow the healing technique seen in this film (illustration by NeverarGreat, composited by RogueLeader)

After Rey heals the sandworm, she mentions to BB8 that she learned how “from the ancient texts,” involving them to a greater extent in the movie to increase a sense of connection to TLJ (AI voice provided Jar Jar Bricks)

Changed Rey’s line to Leia as she turns over the lightsaber from “your brother’s saber” to “your family’s saber” to begin to plant a seed about eventually identifying herself with the Skywalker family (AI voice provided by Jar Jar Bricks)

In a callback to a line modified earlier, when Leia hands Leia the saber before she departs the base, she tells Rey, “You are family” (AI line provided by Jar Jar Bricks)

During the flashback to Luke and Leia training together, replaced mention that Leia sensed the death of her son at the end of her Jedi path with mention that she felt called to serve via diplomacy as their mother did (AI voice provided by Jar Jar Bricks)

New dialogue for Poe during the briefing scene establishes clearly that the Final Order fleet consists of modified ships from the Empire, rather than implying they were built from the ground up later on (AI voice provided by Jar Jar Bricks and RogueLeader)

Added a line for Kylo Ren calling Palpatine “a ghost in a rotting clone” (AI voice provided by Jar Jar Bricks)

Added two brief lines for Jannah to establish that her stormtrooper mutiny was inspired by Finn (AI lines provided by Jar Jar Bricks)

There’s certainly promise there, but as they are they do stick out. It’ll really throw Finn a bone as a character.

The more things we try to use AI to address, the flimsier the whole becomes. I’m leaning against it unless it addresses things that were already shortcomings in prior versions of reaching for the project’s goals.

That said, there ought to be more radical edits in time based on some of these ideas.

IMHO the one in ANH feels conspicuous to me not to be there, but ROTJ’s feels tacked on. I’m not a fan of the added shockwave rings in general, and I’d like to avoid having all the large explosions in the OT but only those in the OT having them. I’m hoping in a future revision to be able to ditch the one added to Alderaan, leaving just the first Death Star’s.

Use AI voice to give Sidious a new instruction to Nute Gunray in TPM.

“Make them all die.”

PM sent

Boy, oh boy, that’s interesting. The delivery isn’t quite there, but going through several permutations may yield something perfect. It’d probably need some reverb added, and it may be tricky to get to feel right in 5.1. I still don’t feel it’s necessary, as it seems weird (albeit, strangely fitting for Palpatine’s style) for him to advertise to her that she is his Plan B.

You’re right! I don’t have the scene memorized, but yes that’s right. No issue then. 😃

I really don’t see a need to assign Palpatine any AI lines, at least for the Rey Palpatine version. I find myself as the naysayer at the moment about that aspect.

I agree that Rey’s parents still do need to be set up, but that dialogue for him sounds perfect for the Rey Nobody version of this.

I like the idea of Jannah attributing her company’s own awakening to Finn’s, like a ripple effect. Might just be a touch weird she does not react to him identifying himself or that she doesn’t recognize him on sight.

I do like that improvement on the line, but it’s implied she doesn’t trust him. It’s a fair idea, but I don’t want to crack open TLJ:L again for it. I gotta avoid constantly updating for stuff, lol.

Nah, but I’m all right with that. The point the line would highlight is already implied by the story as we have it, and somehow I feel more okay with use of AI for 9 than for 8. I’m gonna leave TLJ as final for me.

I doubt that it would fit in snuggly, and I don’t want to replace Luke’s line. I can give it a try though.

I don’t remember which clip, but one of those “he’s too dangerous” takes worked well!

I tried adding “you come from nothing” but it felt jammed in. I’ll play with it further.

And I inserted the saber breaking since it is a nice reminder to the audience about it given what we’ve done to it for Ascendant. Both the crackly effect and her expressing she doesn’t deserve the Skywalker family saber.

Here’s an updated vision sequence.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JYKveluSYkKQ--zSWQjxNZ-xgPyhI1pa/view?usp=share_link

The last one of those works really well, good improvement. Thank you!

Jar Jar Bricks said:

So I recommend either trying to use a different shot or just straight up using Starlight footage since it’s a vision anyway 😉

Of course, silly me. 😃

Here’s an attempt at extending the vision sequence, using material that was already part of the ‘Rey Nobody’ version. While I do still want to get a glimpse of Ochi’s ship, the changes we have been talking about with Rey feeling undeserving of Leia’s express sense of familial connection make it more important to establish this. So not only does she see herself on the Sith throne, she is haunted by past brushes with darkness. (The ambient audio for the added parts is a little janky, pulling from the TFA vision sequence and the TLJ scene where Luke looks into Kylo Ren’s mind in a flashback.)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CiZMcU9NaKbyv2mMzegL1bgnkSqFlHRN/view?usp=share_link

EDIT: Also, so I don’t forget, I still need a replacement for “He’s too dangerous” but with a somewhat fast delivery.

This is all straying pretty far from the story as we have it, and I’d rather keep Ascendant pretty close to what we have and not introduce sweeping changes to Palpatine’s plan. I’m not convinced introducing the idea that he wanted to have them fight in order to claim the victor enhances anything here.

Hmm, I’m still leery of this, as what’s there makes sense the way it is. But I’m open to see what come. We’re introducing potential weak points here.

As it stands in V3, Palpatine seems to have wanted Rey dead from day one, and is working Kylo into killing her and then possessing him, up to the point where he is redeemed. Then since Rey showed up he’s gonna try for her. To me this is simple enough and I think that your idea wouldn’t really improve it and would introduce many potentially awkward audio edits.

Test clip for V8. AI voice by Jar Jar Bricks:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1C18E_nRAif_ae-SjLhTOVxbrQLiWEMd7/view?usp=share_link

Yeah, but it shouldn’t be revelatory or shocking to her or to us that she would have struggled with her family heritage.

Also, here’s the ancient text line in context. Sounds pretty good! https://drive.google.com/file/d/1au_fzjCMYIkOholtONUhSEokGnu2hqJX/view?usp=share_link

If you pursued that idea, the natural place to inject it would be as Luke talks with Rey fireside. That said, I can’t say I love the idea or want to pursue it here. Too much crammed in, raises many questions.

Here’s the current lines in context, and it’s hard to imagine them being improved much! I EQ’d Luke’s line “she surrendered her saber to me…” to reduce the low frequencies just slightly, and had that effect gradually wear off as he progresses through the line.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cqFyhWmFxTtW8yd93V6kJt02CFMkbnp3/view?usp=share_link

Nah, it’s the perfect length as-is. Too long would feel conspicuous.

Awesome, RL! I still need to get the line to work after the sandworm to correspond. It’s good that Rey sounds almost Padme-level dry monotone at times because her AI voice is very flexible.

As stated, AI opens many doors but I do want to keep it to a minimum, or at least limited to things that… make sense and are good ideas? Lol