EddieDean

Here’s a little demo clip for Scipio. Here I’m editing Obi-Wan’s and Anakin’s conversation to reference losing Ahsoka. Now both the cold open (the fireside chat) and this scene reference it. It isn’t much, but I think I’ve done about as much as the available content allows to have Ahsoka’s loss referenced in actual episodes of the Clone Wars as strongly as it can be.

I’m pretty pleased with my use of ‘but there’s more, isn’t there’ to transition us from the one topic to another.

The only things we lose from this scene by cutting it this way are a bit more of Anakin’s distrust and dislike of Clovis (already well established), focusing it instead on Anakin’s possessive protection of Padmé. We also lose that it’s Yoda who feels Anakin is a bit off, but I think it works better to have Obi-Wan realise it after their fireside chat.

Hm, but then I lose the angle of Anakin’s greedy ownership of Padmé. Not that that’s vital, but the character moments are really the core- especially with how I’m including the fireside chat about Ahsoka leaving…

I struggled to name this one (the Scipio episode).

I settled on ‘The Grasp of Greed’ because I wanted to reference two things: Firstly, the main plot, which is about control of money (and control of the people who control the money); Secondly, the character plot, which is about Anakin’s jealous possessive behaviour towards Padmé.

But it’s probably the title I like the least, of all that I’ve created. I’m open to suggestions for something more appropriate.

(As a note, I’d hoped to get this finished last week but struggled with some technical elements. Should be done next week.)

The problem with that is that Jar Jar also appears in AOTC, ROTS, and TCW, which adds some burden if you’re looking to cover all your bases, and it also means that a viewer of such a TPM edit is left with less choice of fanedits for the other prequel movies.

This sounds interesting! I thought Holdo was an interesting character and the way she was used to show Poe that he can’t have heroics without leadership was really good - what’s your motivation behind her removal? And I’m also curious about your removal of the bombing run.

Having played with Peter Pan’s idea a little, there are some logistical challenges with this approach which it might be worth collectively considering.

Firstly, that initial transition. I agree that ideally you’d open on the Jedi going underwater, but this being Star Wars, we really should begin in space. We could follow the ambassador’s ship (now just anyone’s ship) into the Trade Federation ship, but then we should really have some scene on the ship itself, perhaps implying that the two Neimoidians have just arrived to oversee the situation. The invasion trigger shouldn’t happen until after the Gungan negotiations, but there is one scene of the two Neimoidians walking (away from the monitor) which might be usable with a zoomed shot and some alternate lines.

Secondly, context. Whatever the first scene with the Jedi is, it needs to carry some of the exposition we’d otherwise cut, setting them up as negotiators and mystics. I’ve had a bit of a play with this on top of Peter Pan’s ideas but haven’t finalised my thoughts yet, and you can’t do too much voice work without it becoming “fan-edity”. And while we don’t need the underwater fish stuff, some of the dialogue on the bongo can be a bit useful in emphasising what the Force is (“The force will guide us”, “maxi big the force.”)

Thirdly, the negotiation itself. It’s very short unless the Jedi are already aware of an attack, so I think it’s worth having the attack foreseen by the Jedi, as explained in the crawl. I think the best angle with this approach is that the Jedi are actively trying to forge an alliance to defend against invasion - this plan is used in the finale so it makes sense to use the Jedi in this way, plus it makes the failiure of the negotiations (and the speed of the attack) the catalyst for escalation of drama on Naboo (which will be later resolved at the movie’s conclusion). It also works with the lines about the Naboo guard being ill-equipped to defend against the Federation army.

Perhaps then-

The Galactic Republic is failing. As its
ability to protect its worlds diminishes,
the greedy TRADE FEDERATION have
grown increasingly bold in their quest
to exploit vulnerable planets.

QUEEN AMIDALA, elected ruler of the
verdant planet Naboo, fears an attack.
But a rift has grown between her
people and their former allies, the
Gungan warriors, leaving her with
little hope.

Foreseeing an invasion, The Jedi
Order, mystical wielders of THE FORCE
and defenders of the Republic, have
dispatched Jedi Knight QUI-GON JINN
and his apprentice to re-forge the
alliance on Naboo before the situation
escalates.

It’d also be nice to have them account for the failiure of the negotiations - probably using the line “Well you were right about one thing master; the negotiations were short.” But again you’re wrestling with voice lines there.

Wow, I really like this idea! The two biggest issues I had with the introduction were those that took out all momentum before you’d even begun: Firstly the Jedi on the Trade Federation ship, and secondly the Jedi’s introduction to Jar Jar. But my earlier idea, to skip the TF ship, robbed the Jedi of some useful context and their official role as negotiators, and left you with a lot of work to introduce them to Jar Jar.

Having the Jedi’s purpose being to negotiate with the Gungans and Naboo is a far more elegant idea - and then the Trade Federation attack can come as a suprise. It’s also far neater than worrying about trade negotiations and taxation - if we set up Gungans/Naboo as the central conflict, it’s well paid off by the later plot elements which bring it full circle, and I think make up for the additional focus on the Gungans. We’ve also spoken a lot in this thread about anchoring the plot of this first film much more around Queen Amidala and Naboo, allowing the other world-building elements (for future films) to emerge naturally through the story.

I might not execute the idea exactly as you did, but the idea of a quick context-setting negotiation that fails, followed by a suprise invasion and escape, is far more interesting and keeps the energy up where it’s needed. I might give this a bash myself.

I also loved how you used some alternate lines, including Qui-Gon’s “anxieties” line and Jar Jar’s “negotiations” from the Clone Wars.

Here’s a quick little attempt at a crawl.

The Galactic Republic is failing. As
its ability to protect its worlds
diminishes, the greedy TRADE FEDERATION
have grown increasingly bold in their
quest to exploit vulnerable planets.

QUEEN AMIDALA, elected ruler of the
verdant planet Naboo, stands as a vocal
champion of peace. But tension is
growing between her people and the
native Gungans, and she has petitioned
the Senate for aid.

In response, The Jedi Order, mystical
wielders of THE FORCE and defenders of
the Republic, have dispatched Jedi
Knight QUI-GON JINN and his apprentice
to seek a peaceful solution.

I think the greater good is keeping it as one here, because the more boring scenes are still necessary for the whole plot, so watching it in one gives the better flow out of slightly weaker content. Same with the light implication I’d like to make by placing the fireside chat about losing Ahsoka at the front.

I’m struggling a little on Scipio. It’s an easy episode from one perspective, because it’s a simple linear story. The only real issue is that it’s long, and loses a bit of momentum with some of the political stuff - I just don’t know if it’s good enough to deserve 70 minutes (my longest by far).

It does have good action, good Padmé/Anakin/Dooku content, and a a good focus on the state of the war for this point in the series. It’s just a bit dry for its length, despite a lot of it being relevant.

I’ve got three minor trims to make: (1) Making Anakin and Obi-Wan’s chat lightly reference Ahsoka, (2) a minor line about Padmé’s security, and (3) Removing a hint at the Sidious-Palpatine connection. But I might see if there are some earlier scenes I can cut outright and just cover via the opening text.

Thoughts?

Tales of the Jedi

So, there’s an upcoming six episode, 15 minute anthology series set during the prequel timeframe coming soon, called Tales of the Jedi. Three episodes will focus on Dooku, and three on Ahsoka.

A little info has been revealed, a little more (that’s apparently credible) has been leaked, so a plan has been forming.

Since Dooku and Ahsoka are both key to this period, it makes sense to me to incorporate what I can into TCW:R.

POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILERS BELOW

Apparently, some scenes will occur during the Clone Wars:

• A scene of Anakin training Ahsoka, which depending on the model used, might fit somewhere early in season one, perhaps in my early Mandalore episode. That would give us Anakin/Ahsoka before Anakin leaves her to join the main Obi-Wan plotline, and would mean we’d be able to keep Ahsoka’s presence early in the show where it’s needed, and actually get a training scene of them together in early.
• Some additional scenes during the Siege of Mandalore, which would naturally fit there - perhaps flashing back to that early training if the scenes echo one another as leaks imply.

Some episodes we know will occur prior to the Clone Wars, such as Ahsoka’s youth, and Dooku leaving the Jedi order. What I’ll probably do in this case is create a SEASON ZERO, “Prelude to the Clone Wars”, which will feature those elements plus the two prequel movies. (I might eventually cut the prequel movies into episodes, but it’s a far lower priority so I’ll probably leave those as a placeholder in my spreadsheet like I currently do with the ROTS movie.)

I don’t feel like I have to be completely beholden to chronological order, though. For example, it might make more sense to introduce Ahsoka’s backstory episode as part of s01e01, where she joins the main story. I’ll think on that when it appears.

Anyway, I might need a hand making an alternative logo for season zero. Something light touch, changing the logo into either ‘Prelude to the CLONE WARS’ or ‘THE CLONE WARS Prelude to War’, like this.

Anyway, I’m working on Scipio now.

Is there maybe a viable order where the elevator scene comes before the training, which comes before the meeting with Padmé? So in the elevator they’re talking about the forthcoming meeting, but they have training first?

That way it could almost play out that Obi-Wan has deliberately scheduled some training to get Anakin out of awkward teenager mode and clear his head.

This might not work, I’m just spitballing!

I’d recommend watching as much of TCW:R as possible because I think I’ve highlighted all of the arcs which give you the most value for money- so if your goal is “maximum good” then that’s what I’m going for here. But if you want to speed run it quickly then the episodes with a red tick by them are the bare minimum to get you ready for other media. Geonosis is good too.

In terms of Anakin/Dooku, technically any fight they have doesn’t conflict with ROTS, so I haven’t actively cut any (other than passively just cutting weaker episodes), but it’s fairly minimal if memory serves.

Same deal with Obi-Wan/Grievous.

The show does avoid having Grievous see Anakin though, so there’s no conflict with Grievous’ “You’re taller than I expected” in ROTS.

I’d recommend you just watch!

Ice said:

A spelling mistake (“Opnion”) in The Enemy Within intro text

Dang it! Thanks!

Maybe I’ll call it “Maul and Obi-Wan Coda: Old Wounds”.

I don’t think it needs my two minute intro with blue text. There’s a nice Maul moment cold open then we’ll replace the Rebels logo with the coda title, then into the body of the short episode. Viewers can work out its placement from Obi-Wan’s hair colour, and imply that Maul on the run has finally made his way to Obi-Wan after years of searching. (We’ll ignore his extra appearances in Solo and Rebels, as they’re not relevant to this capper to the Clone Wars). I’ll only give it basic end credits too.

I’ve also just decided that I’ll release a single short (~5 min) episode to follow the entire TCW:R, titled CODA: Maul and Obi-Wan, showing their final confrontation from Rebels (and only the surrounding content that immediately supports that). It’s a very important piece of outstanding canon for those who don’t plan to watch that show.

RELEASED - S04E03 THE ENEMY WITHIN - & - S04E04 THE FORSAKEN (V2.0)

• RELEASE VERSIONS.
• Our third and fourth episode of season four. (Note, this is a slight shift in ordering - I’ve now put the Maul episode that was s04e03 after this duology.)
• Enemy Within comprising the original episodes Sabotage and The Jedi Who Knew Too Much, running 45 minutes.
• The Forsaken comprising the original episodes To Catch a Jedi and The Wrong Jedi, running 45 minutes.
• DOWNLOAD LINKS are in the tracker spreadsheet, PM me for access.
• Note: It’s recommended that you download these before watching, rather than streaming them directly from Google Drive.

This is the excellent Ahsoka’s Fall arc, with the original quadrilogy cut into two equal halves, split around the moment she drops into Coruscant’s underbelly (the original end of the second episode).

Noteworthy changes:

• The first part is titled ‘The Enemy Within’, ostensibly talking about how the Trade Federation are attacking Cato Neimoidia (as the crawl makes clear), but then of course referring to both the temple bombing, and the threats from within the Republic, plus lightly Ahsoka’s doubts explored in this arc.
• The second part is titled ‘The Forsaken’, again ostensibly referencing Ahsoka at this moment, but also applicable to Ventress, the people in Coruscant’s underbelly, and ultimately the Jedi for Ahsoka.
• I cut the moment where a sniffer dog catches Ahsoka’s scent but its clone ignores it - the entire purpose of a sniffer dog owner is to trust what they’re telling you!
• I cut Ventress spotting the Loth-cat with Ahsoka’s shadow. It’s a cute moment but I don’t think it fits the tone of the episode. Ventress still hears a noise and tenses, but doesn’t see anything (she just hears an animal squeak).
• I cut the scene of Anakin reporting to the Jedi that he’s caught Ahsoka (while he’s escorting her back), to let me bridge the two episodes better. That scene was wrap-up to give its episode a punctual finish, now not required. The gist of it is echoed immediately after anyway, at what was the start of the next episode.
• I cut the line where Barris says that red lightsabers suit her. I think it takes away from her a little - she’s not gone Sith, she doesn’t think of herself as evil, it’s more that she’s an objector to the war gone radical.
• A slight variation to the last episode’s end credits, just to see if I can break your hearts a little more.

Interested to know what you guys think of the ordering of the first five episodes this season.

Onwards to Scipio, and Anakin dealing with the fallout of this episode.

Also, if you’re reading this message not long after I posted it, I’d appreciate if you’d check my previous post for a sense check!

Sense check please!

I’ve made a major update to the spreadsheet, trying to make it absolutely clear for people which episodes to watch based on their preferences. There’s a new set of content at the top left to this effect. Can you guys please sense-check it and see if it clarifies things?

(Right now it just distinguishes usefully between Core and Filoni-only episodes, but this’ll be more useful once I plug in the ‘bonus’ ones.)

Also, are you guys able to sort the table yourselves? If so, try sorting by episode number!

That’s a huge relief guys, thanks!

MVP right here ^^

Unrelated: I desperately hope at least someone is downloading my episodes, because if Google takes me down and I lose my local drives I’d be devastated!

Haha, I appreciate that! Even a little nod like this that I’m on the right track is really helpful. Since this is such a HUGE project, my biggest concern is that I’ve made some key decision in an episode that the majority don’t like, which therefore turns them off to the whole thing. I don’t want to be losing people along the way and then find that when it’s complete there’re very few who enjoy this work. I’d rather put in a few extra hours (what’s a few hours on top of a thousand?) to bring it back on track if there’s something majorly offputting in here.

sirlegion13 said:

I see any change you make as just you executing your vision for TCW:R.

It’s true, sure, and left to my own devices I’m happy to plow on with my vision even if it’s just for an audience of one (me). But for me, Star Wars is to be shared, and I genuinely want others to be able to enjoy this hulk of a show that they might not have otherwise. So I genuinely care to collaborate with, or at the very least listen to, collective concerns.

I already know that this is a project of stages - the core (first pass), some polish I’ve been ignoring, incorporating more feedback, then stretch goal five extended episodes, stretch goal canon cut, stretch goal complete cut, stretch goal prequel movies, stretch goal music, etc etc. I’ve got to wrestle with fanedit.org at some point, and should probably make a trailer once I’ve hit final core (at least). I might not get all the way but it’s clear to me this is a living project. (Hell, maybe one day I’ll even do the episodes I’m ignoring completely, just for the real lunatics amongst you.)

(The big moment I’m excited for is when the core is finished, and you can watch TCW:R end to end. Because then people will be able to feel the flow, the tension, the character arcs in the way that I think is going to be most rewarding - for the show itself and beyond - and that’s really it’s truest test. Right now you’re just seeing individual scenes from an unfinished movie.)

Anyway, that’s a roundabout way of saying that nothing, not even my vision, is set in stone, and I’m always looking to satisfy the majority - or at least keep as many enjoying this as I can.

…But I digress. ‘No news is good news’ is the attitude I’ll take, and I shall plow on!

I also really enjoyed it for the same reasons, but just reading your thoughts there RogueLeader on the ‘modern mythology’ and catharsis, I had a little thought too-

One thing we forget - as both general Star Wars fans (who are famous for griping about Star Wars) and part of the editing community (who over-analyse everything) - is that these ‘collective stories’ are intended to just be fun. We sometimes get too wrapped up in the minutiae or the imperfections and forget that every one of these movies is a wild fun ride one way or another.

(Edit: And high five for someone else who chose their internet name a million years ago and never expected to wear it this long…)

+1 for improved VFX for all scenes and shots, though I respect that that would be extra work!

Perhaps not a very interesting update here, but I’ve just sorted out the ordering for all of the episodes which fit in my ‘extended’ cut of TCW:R.

As a reminder-

• ‘CORE’ TCW:R, AKA the “Quality Cut”, is the best and necessary content to tell the complete Clone Wars story in the most enjoyable possible way. It’s tonally consistent, balanced, flows well, and minimises weak content. This is the cut I’m completing first, and when finished, I’ll consider the TCW:R project complete. This is the version I recommend everyone watches. On my spreadsheet, this is episodes with their numbers marked in green and red.
• “The Mandalorian Cut” is a trimmed version of that, which focuses JUST on content relevant to the Filoniverse (mainly Ahsoka and the Mauldalore stuff). Its episodes are coloured red. This cut is for people who want to speedrun the Clone Wars.
• There are two bonus cuts which I’ll produce AFTER I finish the quality cut, which include bonus episodes, including extended versions of some popular episodes to bring back popular scenes (albeit ones I think aren’t necessary to the quality cut for whatever reason). The first of these bonus cuts is the “Canon cut” (yellow) which focuses on characters from the wider canon, and the “Complete cut” (blue) which adds in everything but the most awful episodes. These cuts are for people who are more tolerant of lower quality and weaker pacing.

Anyway, back to my point - I’ve worked out what order all the bonus episodes (for the Canon and Complete cuts) should be in, fitting around the flow of my Quality Cut. I’ve done this based on pacing (or storytelling) the following, in order of priority- Ahsoka, Ahsoka-Anakin relationship, Anakin, Maul, Rex’s Loyalty focus, Obi-Wan, Padmé, Ventress, Grievous, Dooku, season length. They’re now quite balanced based on those priorities, or placed in a way that they can add a little value to the surrounding content.

You can check that flow on the third tab (Order working sheet) if you’re interested.

Oh, and one side effect of re-thinking this is that I’ve slightly changed the order of the Ahsoka’s Fall / Maul’s Fall episodes, just to give Maul a little time to breathe, and also to give Ahsoka’s Fall time to breathe before we see the fallout on Scipio.

Question: You’re trimming some Reva, but are her motivations (as a padawan who survived the purge) still intact?