Really pleased with today’s progress on the Order 66 arc.
Since I was able to remove Fives getting captured from the scene where Tup dies, I’ve got the final two episodes - the second half - down to bang on 30 minutes. I don’t care too much about the length, but really what that trim means is that I’ve been able to keep the pacing of the investigation plot high, so the audience’s focus gets to stay on the intrigue. Fives’ investigation is fully intact, as is most of his tense attempt to get the message to someone he trusts on Coruscant.
I’ve done more in that section to keep the mystery a secret for the viewer. Originally, the audience know from quite early on that Nala Se is in league with the Separatists, and that the Separatists are behind everything. Instead, I’ve kept that offscreen, so that the audience knows only as much as Fives does, so the mystery is higher. Nala Se acts in a way that’s totally valid as someone who wants to cover up a potentially costly mistake, until the very end, where I’ve merged her earlier call with Dooku with her later call with Dooku to have her revealed as a co-conspirator only after Fives is dead, leaving the secret buried (and hanging over the series).
This way, we get the added bonus of discovering that the Jedi may be behind it at the same time as Fives, and having that as a valid supposition for the audience too - we know, after all, that a Jedi ordered the army. This makes Shaak Ti seem a little suspicious too, as the Kaminoan correspondent and the one who brings him to Palpatine before the Jedi.
Until the end, anyone could be responsible - including the possibility that Fives is simply wrong and that the chips (while secretive) are benevolent, and it was indeed a virus causing his and Tup’s erratic behaviour. The tension feels a lot higher like this, and it flows well. There’s a conspiracy without a known conspirator, that gives us momentum all the way through until it gets covered up, and then we learn it’s a worst-case scenario where Sidious behind it all and that it’s some sort of long-planned trap for the Republic.
I also trimmed a shot of the flying whales, the redundant taxi driver conversation, a little of other clones hunting for Fives while he’s at the clone bar (though they’re still seen and searching), and Palpatine being a little too sinister. I also took out a few lines where Fives references Palpatine or says that this goes “to the very top” (though it’s still clear that this is a conspiracy at a very high level) - we just get a bit more plausible deniability from our main characters if Palpatine hasn’t been directly implicated.
I think I’m calling this episode Good Clones Follow Orders, but as usual, I’m open to suggestions.
