The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (v2 NOW AVAILABLE) — Page 7

CaptainFaraday said:

I love what you’ve done with the Han scene. I’m excited to read your manuscript draft, but I’m gonna wait until after I’ve finished my own first.

Thanks! I have modified that scene slightly since that draft. I’ll have to check out yours as well when you’re done (maybe it will even give me some other ideas!) I’ve read through everything you’ve provided thus far.

I also want a link to this please!

Knight of Kalee said:

I also want a link to this please!

Sent!

I just finished reading through the entire novelization and made a few adjustments throughout. Overall, I feel like it’s in a good place for a v1 release. I can’t say that for sure, though, as I didn’t read it out loud. Regardless, I’ll likely prep for release within the next week or so.

I’ll probably release a v2 once Captain Faraday reads through it all. That will likely be by the end of the year. Until then, I’m putting my sights on the TLJ novelization.

I’d love to get a copy of this!

BrotherOfSasquatch said:

I’d love to get a copy of this!

I’ll be sure to send it to you when it’s ready. Probably next weekend.

Quick question: should I have Rey say “I’m a Jedi” instead of “All the Jedi?” You have to keep in mind that the novelization really builds up how the Jedi of the past are within her at that moment, which is why I’m unsure.

PALPATINE: You stand no chance against the true, unlimited power of the Sith. You are just a worthless, pathetic, pitiful scavenger! You’re nothing! (NOTE: The “You’re” is intentional.)

REY: I am more than that. I’m… [pulls in the Skywalker saber into her hand and grasps it - she finally feels worthy] a Jedi!

I will say that I made the Skywalker saber call out to Ben alone because I needed to explain why Rey was unable to heal it (since she clearly does a good job with the snake and Kylo). So unfortunately it wouldn’t have to do with worth when she calls Luke’s saber. Instead, Rey isn’t concerned by the fact that the lightsaber doesn’t accept her, which I think is much more relevant to Rey relying less on validation.

Here’s what I came up with instead, using mostly the same lines as the original script:

“I am all the Sith!” he yelled, his attack intensifying. “A scavenger girl is no match for the power in me. You are nothing!”

Amazing. Every word of what he just said was wrong. He was alone. He was weak. He was nothing. He would never know friendship or love.

“No,” she said, reaching for more strength, for Luke’s lightsaber. It clicked into her hand. “I’m a Jedi!”

EDIT: Yes, the resemblance to Harry and Voldemort’s conversation in Phoenix was intentional haha

Wait, Rey isn’t relying on validation in your TRoS novel edit unlike in the actual film?

No, she is. I really leaned into it throughout the rest of the novelization. How much she worries about what other people think about her.

But this is after Luke has taught her that the value of a person comes from their heart. So when she goes to Exegol she is a changed person, just like Ben.

I feel like Rey would still rely on validation, even after her scene with Luke. In this trilogy up until the climax of her arc, she’s trying so hard to please other people including Han Solo so they’d see her heart and give her validation.

My understanding of it was that relying too much on what other people think about you is bad. Rey knows she has a good heart, and that’s all that matters in the end. You can’t let other people tell you who you are. Only you know that.

The final challenge Rey faces before fully accepting that idea is Palpatine claiming that if she kills him her friends will be saved and they’ll all praise her for it. But she rejects his offer, counting on Ben and her other friends to help save the day instead (which is wiser, and relies less on what she would get out of the victory).

The first version of this project is now available. I will personally message everyone who expressed interest previously with this latest version. If I miss you, feel free to reach out here.

As I said previously, a v2 of this project is inevitable once Faraday reads through it. But that won’t be for a while. In the meantime, feel free to report any issues with the novel so I can correct them for that version.

Nindroid243 said:

Can I have a link to this?

PM sent!

Here are a bunch of things I’m considering for my v2:

• Add Luke’s severed hand to the paraphernalia on Exegol
• Lando doesn’t kill the stormtrooper. Instead, his crossbow bolt electrocutes him. This is necessary because later on he says he doesn’t want to kill stormtroopers, which is why he hasn’t been fighting.
• Finn jokes to Lando about him being the Master Codebreaker (a change in my other novelization)
• The red plom bloom is the last trinket Lando has of his daughter
• In the Palpy vision Rey gets at the end, mention that her father escaped Exegol with the lightsaber that came with Luke’s severed hand. This explains why the lightsaber called out to her at the castle, since it knew her father rescued it before. Presumably her father sells it from there and it ends up in Maz’s possession.
• Add DJ and his ship, the Libertine, to the civilian fleet. Adds some redemption to his character.
• Replace “I’m Rey Solo and this is Ben Solo” in the ending scene with “We’re Skywalkers”. Just makes a lot more sense, and I feel really stupid for not coming up with this before.

There are probably some other things I’m forgetting, but ah well. My TLJ project is nearing completion, so I’ll be working on these things and more when that’s done.

One suggestion I’m toying with is having Palpatine’s Force lightning cause the Tantive IV to explode completely (not my original idea). Its burning debris land all the way into inside the Sith throne room in the citadel. Yes, there would be fire burning in the background when Rey fights Palpatine, to emphasize that this is, indeed, the final battle of the saga.

EDIT: Also, they’d stand out amongst the blueness of Exegol. (I get Leia’s saber, but I’d rather have the symbolism of the Skywalker legacy than that being tossed into the dumpster.)

Already in this. Minus the fiery bits landing in the throne room.

The citadel collapsing?

What about it? That happens when Palpy gets wrecked. Doesn’t completely collapse of course, otherwise Rey and Ben would die.

Yeah, I thought you were saying that the specific example was the emphasization of the saga’s final battle.

Do you plan on elaborating on the status of the FO? In the film they clearly aren’t in control of the galaxy and are in need of becoming a new Empire. Seems like they aren’t doing so well and are, at best, the equivalent of Team Rocket from the Pokémon anime, if you’re familiar. I find it to be one of the most interesting aspects of TROS and it does seem kinda underdeveloped.

I pitched a crawl a while back in this thread that the FO is nearing collapse due to the Luke-inspired uprisings.

The first sentence of the crawl “Flames of Rebellion burn across the galaxy” gets the point across from the get-go. Then I had Hux mention on Mustafar that they’re losing control over countless worlds and Kylo is wasting their time (I changed this since v1 because I didn’t want to repeat the crawl word for word). Then the only reason Kylo “agrees” to go along with Palpy’s games is because he knows he needs the fleet and troops to send a message to the galaxy not to mess with the FO. I had him think to himself that they’ve lost control over key systems since Crait.

Obviously then there is also the puppet show on Pasanna, which shows how much the story of Skywalker means to people. And all of Kijimi is in a similar rebellion, as evidenced by my addition of teens that graffiti a portrait of Luke from Crait (which makes even more sense now that Crait was recorded with HoloNet holocam droids in my TLJ edit).

So yeah, they’re really not doing too great.