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The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The "Tragedy of Vader" Edit (WIP) — Page 2

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Yes, she does stop caring about her parents, but only because she is looking for parental figures in other people who she knows to be extremely good. Han, Luke, Leia, etc. If she can demonstrate they are proud of her, then she essentially proves her biological parents wrong.

Anyways, clearly selling your child into slavery is not the best way to protect them. So maybe if you asked Rey’s parents, they would claim that they did what they did to protect her. But in all actuality, they just didn’t want to have to deal with the danger she brings to their lives any more, and wanted to make a few bucks in the process.

EDIT: Ah yes, the house of cards again that is TROS. Just remembered that they lay down their lives to protect her location. So I’m thinking that if I were to do something like above, I would have to modify their encounter with Ochi.

Exsqueeze me.

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Do you plan on making this clear, that Rey’s parents threw her away like garbage because she is a Palpatine?

For example…

KYLO REN: They sold you because they saw what you would become/knew who you truly are/(something like that). You don’t just have power, you have his power. You’re his granddaughter. You… are a Palpatine.

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I would say that they would throw her away because she had force sensitivity. Let’s just say that Rey’s father, who grew up on Exegol, had enough with the Force because he saw all the terrible things it could do. So the reason he leaves is to get away from all of that and lead a normal life. He meets a woman, and they decide to start a family.

Then he has a child who starts using Force powers. He’s freaking out because he thought he left that life behind him. His worst fears are confirmed when a Sith assassin from Exegol starts tracking them all down. He just wants to go back to a normal life, so he convinces his wife to sell their child.

Now, as for the reason they die to Ochi, I had a sudden idea. What if Ochi lets it slip that they are returning to Exegol and are never going to be able to leave it again, and he will only let them live if they reveal her location. In that scenario, I do believe he would rather die than give up her location, both to spite Palpatine and ensure he never had to travel to that hellish world ever again.

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For some time I had been leaning towards the idea that her parents threw her away like garbage because she was a Palpatine because it would reinforce her belief that “being a Palpatine = she is inherently worthless” which is debunked by Luke when he reminds her of Leia training her.

Also, I feel part of your idea would imply Rey’s mother loved her, which I feel does undermine her TLJ arc but not as much as the idea of both parents caring for her in the actual TRoS.

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TestingOutTheTest said:

Also, I feel part of your idea would imply Rey’s mother loved her, which I feel does undermine her TLJ arc but not as much as the idea of both parents caring for her in the actual TRoS.

That’s a very good point. That way Rey can still be angry at Palpatine for killing her parents, but at the same time she realizes that they willingly dumped her for their own selfish reasons. Although, that did save her life in the end.

It also gives Rey’s dad an actual character arc.

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I have an idea, have Rey’s mother be a filthy junk trader who hated her as TLJ suggested (yeah, Kylo referred to both parents in that scene, but… yeah).

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It actually makes a lot of sense. Jakku is a planet right next to the Unknown Regions, so it would be the first world Rey’s father went to after leaving Exegol. Then he meets a woman that he falls in love with, who happens to be a filthy junk trader, so he follows the same work.

I’m starting to wonder if I could potentially dedicate a whole flashback chapter to Rey’s parents. I’m already rewriting some other portions of the novel to benefit Kylo’s character, so why not go a step further with Rey?

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Anyways, I’m sure it would be pretty easy to modify various dialog throughout the novel to reflect these ideas. For example:

Palpatine: “Weak, like your parents.”

Rey: “Yes, they were weak. But at least they saved me from you.”

So Rey doesn’t admit they are strong, but acknowledges that their selfish actions saved her in the end.

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

This is how I described essence transfer in chapter 1:

"…willing your spirit on death to transfer into the killer. It only worked if the killer was harnessing the dark side and the victim was defenseless. In such a case, the killer’s spirit would be forcibly removed, and the victim, now the offender, would enter into a new host body. "

Now, the reason I HAD to make it this way is because otherwise Palpatine would have no reason at the beginning of the novel to NOT let Kylo kill him. If essence transfer were described in the way that you have it, then Palpatine could possess Kylo at the beginning without any risk whatsoever. He would go and fight Rey, and even if she killed him, he would simply possess her instead.

In that chapter, I placed particular emphasis on Kylo figuring out why Palpatine didn’t simply possess him at first. Under the description provided above, it makes sense. If Kylo’s body, with Palpatine’s spirit possessing it, engaged in a battle against Rey and died abruptly for some reason, Palpatine would both be unable to possess Rey or return to a clone body. So Kylo figures out that the reason he hasn’t possessed him yet is because Palps wants him to do the dirty work of killing her. He also figures that it’s possible he wants them to fight so he can figure out which one of them is more powerful, and therefore a more worthy vessel for him.

EDIT: Should also mention that I discuss how he is in a clone body (a more advanced form of essence transfer with dormant clones). But that isn’t relevant to this conversation.

The idea I had involved, well…

In this version, Palpatine wanted Kylo Ren to be willing to kill him, but Ren is still conflicted, so Palps hopes that by killing Rey, the one other person Ren is close to, it would cement Ren into the dark side and he would become more willing to kill him under his orders without any hesitation, he would not refuse to kill him since he would no longer be held back by his goody-goody feelings.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I forgot Kylo Ren still does evil acts willingly by TRoS…

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That is the other idea I had, yes. That whoever is left standing after that fight would be much more inclined to the dark side and therefore willing to make the sacrifice. I just couldn’t find a way to organically place that within the first chapter. Maybe towards the end of the novel if I feel it is necessary.

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Try describing how Palpatine KNEW Kylo Ren was conflicted and hoped for his killing of Rey to further him into the dark side in a way he would be willing to kill him and allow his spirit to take over his body.

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That sounds like something I might be able to fit in his rant to Rey at the end, but I would be concerned that it would kinda go against what he’s trying to do there (convince Rey to do the same thing).

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Now I’m thinking that what I described about Palps’ knowledge of Ren’s confliction is implied by this line, “The Jedi apprentice still lives. Perhaps you have betrayed me. Do not make me turn my fleet against you.”

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Chapter 3 Changelog:

  • Kept the holochess game where it is. The ending of this novelization will be a moment between Rey and Ben, so I don’t want Chewie, Finn, and Poe to come along.
  • Streamlining of descriptions, most inspired by Captain Faraday
  • Removed the paragraph where it’s implied Finn harbors romantic feelings for Rey. He cares for her as a friend. Don’t want his heart to be broken when Rey doesn’t chose him in the end haha.
  • Made it clear what the First Order’s plan was with Boolio. They knew he was helping the Resistance, but they were waiting for an unknown/non-routine vehicle to approach the mining colony before they attacked so they could get some actual Resistance members, too.
  • Removed lightspeed skipping. I considered trying to make it work but it would require tons of descriptions regarding lightspeed-capable TIEs and hyperspace tracking (which for some reason the original novel ignores).
  • Moved Kylo reforging his mask to the another chapter, replaced with the da bois returning to Ajan Kloss
  • Rey is pouring over the Jedi texts to find peace, which she feels will make the visions go away
  • Rey begins to wonder if perhaps she is already too far gone since Luke won’t speak to her but he will to Leia
  • Finn clarifies that R2 contains a message (Palpy’s) and a report on some planet (Exegol)
    Link:
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1D3ByAXyXfVBC-GvbzhvpI7JT3yq8BSMT/view?usp=sharing

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Try removing Finn’s Force-sensitivity and making Jannah be the one who’s Force-sensitive (to preserve how they sense the thing on Exegol which would further result in destroying the Final Order). Finn being Force-sensitive makes him less special, in TFA and TLJ he’s just some average Joe who learns to stop running away and start fighting for the cause.

I know in the actual TRoS it is there as a way of reinforcing Finn’s attachment to Rey (he wants to tell her he’s Force-sensitive, which is a way of reinforcing his attachment; his arc is that he learns to move on from Rey, and once he does he’s no longer going to tell her he’s Force-sensitive), but try finding other ways to reinforce his attachment to Rey, he can still try to tell her something and he can still stop doing this after he moves on from her.

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I will admit it is somewhat strange that TROS creates the implication that the reason Finn betrayed the First Order was because of his Force-sensitivity awakening, and yet at the same time he meets a bunch of former First Order troopers who clearly are NOT Force-sensitive.

I don’t think that Finn would want to tell her about his Force-sensitivity only as his last words, and I definitely do NOT what to create the implication that Finn is in love with her. As a result, I find a hard time justifying keeping in him trying to tell her something.

I’m not entirely sure what I want to do with him yet, but it will likely have something to do with a Stormtrooper rebellion ALA Duel of the Fates.

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Well, this sounds interesting! Even if I’m already invested in Faraday’s vision, I would gladly check out yours too! The idea of tying everything back to Anakin is very appealing to me.

A brief question (before I start reading your drafts), does Rey remain a Palpatine in this edition? It would be a nice balance if her ascendancy was kept the same, but her parents were terrible people anyways.

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Knight of Kalee said:

A brief question (before I start reading your drafts), does Rey remain a Palpatine in this edition? It would be a nice balance if her ascendancy was kept the same, but her parents were terrible people anyways.

Yup, you definitely don’t have to, but if you read my previous conversation with Testing that’s actually what I’m going for (Rey Palpatine with terrible parents).

They still ditched her and sold her into slavery because her father wanted nothing to do with the Force after everything he experiences on Exegol. He becomes SUPER scared when he sees that little Rey is Force-sensitive. He left Exegol because he never wanted to return there, and she is reminding him of Palps. He just wanted to live a normal life with the woman he fell in love with on Jakku.

Then Ochi comes under the order of Palpatine to force them to live on Exegol for the rest of their lives because he sees that they can produce Force-sensitive offspring. He’ll only let them live to do that if they reveal Rey’s location. Her father doesn’t want to go back to Exegol, so they decide to not reveal her location purely to spite Palpatine. He would rather die than go back to a planet that is essentially hell to him.

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Knight of Kalee said:

Well, this sounds interesting! Even if I’m already invested in Faraday’s vision, I would gladly check out yours too! The idea of tying everything back to Anakin is very appealing to me.

I don’t think there will ever be a definitive rewrite, since they’re all personal to the writer, but I think that is what makes having different rewrites cool. It’s just fun to imagine all the different ways the Saga could’ve ended.

While I don’t like Rey Palpatine, I think it is cool to try to find a way to make it work better. Might as well, since it’s canon, right? I’m glad you’re going with her parents being bad people. I do think it is still a bit contrived to try and explain that Ochi demanded to know where Rey is, but they wouldn’t tell him out of spite. I guess that makes sense, but I think they would rat her out at the threat of death, if they were willing to sell her for drinking money. Her value is zero when it comes to their own satisfaction.

That might be one benefit of Rey killing her parents. Ochi would probably think Rey died too in the crash, if Rey zapped their ship. Or, maybe Ochi and Palpatine knew where Rey was all along, and because he felt her being raised in a harsh, survivalist environment would make her a more worthy successor/vessel than her father, who could’ve been raised and spoiled on Exegol since he was the “son” of the Emperor. Her being left there on purpose by Palpatine would be a good reason to hate him, in lieu of her parents not being good people that he killed anymore. We can even see Rey’s parents rat out her whereabouts, but Ochi kills them anyway because he doesn’t care. She is exactly where Palpatine wants her to be. They just want them out of the picture.

But I think what you’ve written is definitely better than the theatrical version at least. Plus, it still sticks closely with what is in the film.

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My version really relies on how much her father hates Exegol. He could have PTSD after all the crazy experiments they put him through.

The first thing I want Ochi to tell them is that he’s taking them to Exegol and they’re never going to be able to leave.

So he has two choices: tell Ochi where Rey is and go back to the living hell that is Exegol to him, or keep that to himself and just end the misery. I agree that they would rather keep on living than spite Palpatine, but that’s exactly why I added in what I just said. He doesn’t want to suffer as a guinea pig anymore and would rather die.

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I really like that approach to Rey’s parents. It’s a clever way to keep them killed, while still making them bad parents - they sold her off out of fear and cowardice, then chose to die for reasons unrelated to her. You can even keep Palpatine’s taunt of “Weak… like your parents,” and it cuts even deeper in my opinion, because they were.

As for Finn and Force Sensitivity, I agree it’s weird how he keeps it a secret in the official version. I’m trying to play it like he isn’t completely sure, and he would feel extremely embarrassed if he mentioned it and was wrong.

Also, big agree about him being in love with Rey. It’s nice to have a friendship between a man and a woman that doesn’t have to turn into a romance for a change. Also it clears the way for StormPilot, which should obviously be endgame.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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So RogueLeader proposed the idea of Rey’s parents exposing her location to Ochi… I feel as though I have to disagree.

The idea is that the father absolutely despises Palpatine and he would be familiar with how he wants another Force-sensitive in order for the Sith ritual to work, so while he’s throwing Rey away like garbage because of her Force-sensitivity and how it reminds him of his past, he is doing this to piss off Palps and ensure he rots in his failing clone body.

I also don’t see how Ochi interrogating Rey’s parents for her location is contrived? He sure as hell doesn’t know where she is and hopes to find her and bring her to Palps.

Or, maybe Ochi and Palpatine knew where Rey was all along, and because he felt her being raised in a harsh, survivalist environment would make her a more worthy successor/vessel than her father, who could’ve been raised and spoiled on Exegol since he was the “son” of the Emperor.

Then that would undermine Palpatine’s decision to turn Ben Solo to the dark side and have him become Kylo Ren.

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@JJB Once you begin doing a TLJ novel edit, do you have any plans to make the way I see Rey’s TLJ arc clear so there wouldn’t be any misconceptions of it being a “Rey wants to find her place in all this” kind of thing?

Below:

In The Last Jedi, Rey refuses to accept the truth that her parents threw her away like garbage — even going as far as denying this when Kylo Ren taunts her during one of their conversations —, instead having lied to herself for the past several years of her life that they truly cared for her, that she was worth something to them, that she was abandoned for some important reason which would “show” that her parents cared for her, reinforcing this lie as a way of ensuring it would not perish — henceforth helping her feel happy and thus pushing away her feelings of self-worthlessness.

Rey, however, is unsure as to what that “importance” exactly is, and thus hopes that if she does find out she is important then it would “show” that her parents loved her and abandoned her to, say, hide her in an act of protection.

It is, for this reason, she, for so long, has wanted to find out as to who her parents were, hoping to infer as to what her “importance” is, only so she would use it to reinforce her lie — and why she hoped for Luke to show her this “importance,” hoping to use that importance to justify her parents abandoning her; however, when Luke refused, she goes into the mirror cave, hoping for it to show her parents to her — by seeing her parents, she would get to see who they exactly were, and, in turn, infer as to what her “importance” exactly is, judging their appearances.

In the throne room aboard the Supremacy, Kylo Ren manipulates her into admitting the truth — in that moment, she begins to refuse her lie, coming to terms with the truth that her parents had no true reason for abandoning her, that they hated her, seeing her as nothing but a worthless piece of junk.

(At this point, Rey admits her parents were “nobody,” in the sense they had no important reason to abandon her, instead discarding her as though she is completely worthless; she has “no place in this story” in the sense that, again, her parents did not abandon her because she was of some “importance” and loved her, they abandoned her because, to them, she is worthless.)

Because of this, she overcomes her “need” for her parents — the ones who birthed her —, and begins to move on from and stop caring for them altogether — hence why she seems happy and unaffected during the Battle of Crait in the film’s climax; now, with no other option, with Luke having rejected her, with Kylo Ren being the bad guy, with Han Solo now dead, with her parents having thrown her away like garbage, she attaches herself to the Resistance, relying on them for validation.

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CaptainFaraday said:

Also it clears the way for StormPilot, which should obviously be endgame.

I wouldn’t entirely be opposed to suggesting something like this at the end. But I definitely wouldn’t want to draw too much attention to it or else it would feel to much like a fan fiction.

Hold up, this entire project is a fan fiction shipping lmao. Oh well, I’ll just have to see what feels natural in the end.

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And Testing, that project is pretty far in advanced, but I can see how something like that might work for TLJ.

Luke in ESB wants to take down Vader because he supposedly killed his father. So he becomes a Jedi because he feels like he is doing his father proud. All of that is completely shattered when the truth is revealed to him.

So then, like you said, you could have Rey who convinces herself that her being left on Jakku was for some special purpose. This would be justification for her parent’s abandonment of her. All of that is completely shattered when Kylo snaps her out of her fantasy land to remind her that she was sold for drinking money.

So there are definitely some parallels there that work pretty well. It also leads into what I’m doing with TROS where Rey feels she needs to prove herself to everyone because she is harboring feelings of worthlessness after that revelation.

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