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Excited to see a test clip! Wasn’t sure if how easy it would be to cut around the space diamond but I think you did a good job avoiding it!
Excited to see a test clip! Wasn’t sure if how easy it would be to cut around the space diamond but I think you did a good job avoiding it!
Excited to see a test clip! Wasn’t sure if how easy it would be to cut around the space diamond but I think you did a good job avoiding it!
I agree very much. Good job 😃
Here’s another little clip from the episode Mortis: Oops! All dream-speak!
I wanted to remove the Father’s references to real geography (“nowhere to go”) and replace them with something far more metaphorical, but which still transitioned into him sending Anakin to bed. The following Anakin-Father scene is WAY too explicit with the Father talking about how real they are, so is going to be cut entirely, but some of its dialogue, chopped up and reordered, made a nice segue into Anakin’s bedtime, with more dreamlike logic to it.
Just a heads up that in the tracker, S02E08 and E09 both link to E09 and S02E10 links to E09. Links seem fine for S03 onwards, but it means S02E10 isn’t there.
Here’s another little clip from the episode Mortis: Oops! All dream-speak!
I wanted to remove the Father’s references to real geography (“nowhere to go”) and replace them with something far more metaphorical, but which still transitioned into him sending Anakin to bed. The following Anakin-Father scene is WAY too explicit with the Father talking about how real they are, so is going to be cut entirely, but some of its dialogue, chopped up and reordered, made a nice segue into Anakin’s bedtime, with more dreamlike logic to it.
Nice. I love that his new line rhymes.
Just a heads up that in the tracker, S02E08 and E09 both link to E09 and S02E10 links to E09. Links seem fine for S03 onwards, but it means S02E10 isn’t there.
Good spot!
They were the right episodes, just with out of date numbers in their title.
Fixed now!
Good progress on Mortis today!
It all feels good when executed as planned in my previous big post - removing explanations allows it to flow naturally with its own dreamlike logic even without being too clear about what’s going on. While light and dark characters remain clear, the father appears more of a passive guide who resides in a way station than a metaphor for balance.
I just need to work on the couple of ending fights now, then I’ll do a pass of un-used dialogue to see if any’s worth salvaging, then it’s just a thorough audio transitions test and finalisation. I’d like to get this right, but I hope to have this finished this week. I’m excited to share it!
Eddie, are music and dialogue pretty separate in the audio tracks? I’m guessing they must be if you’re able to rearrange dialogue fairly well. I’m curious if this would make restoring also feasible (you may have done this already in past episodes and I’ve forgotten/missed it).
Here’s another little clip from the episode Mortis: Oops! All dream-speak!
I laughed hard at the rhym 😄 Well done.
Eddie, are music and dialogue pretty separate in the audio tracks? I’m guessing they must be if you’re able to rearrange dialogue fairly well. I’m curious if this would make restoring also feasible (you may have done this already in past episodes and I’ve forgotten/missed it).
Yep, aside from a couple of earlier episodes it’s all nice and separate. Often with echoes there’s residual voice in the other channels, but it’s rare enough.
Rescoring is totally feasible. I’ve done it lightly in a couple of places. Doing it in a major way is something I considered, though it would triple the time it takes me to complete each episode. It’s definitely something I’d consider when I’m all done, or if someone else wanted to experiment I’d be interested.
Here’s another little clip from the episode Mortis: Oops! All dream-speak!
I laughed hard at the rhym 😄 Well done.
Right?! And it’s a good metaphor too. Is he talking about tonight on his weird planet, or in the galaxy as a whole? I’ve kept a lot of dialogue that has dual meanings like that.
Oh MAN you guys, the Mortis episode is rendering now! I’m SO excited to share this one! This one was so much fun to make.
See if you can guess the new title. (It’s not ‘At the Crossroads’, my original idea.) It’s both perfectly fitting and a great pun.
So excited to watch your Mortis arch EddieDean! Can’t wait! The more passionate the creator the better the outcome! Hoping it’ll be your best episode yet! 😄
This is a radical edit of the Mortis trilogy.
I recommend that you watch this episode without reading the following description at all. It is better experienced completely fresh, free from expectation.
…
I had a few major issues with the original story that I wanted to completely change. I felt that the arc was way too explicit about what the Mortis Gods were - real people with real powers that could threaten the Galaxy - whilst also having them be the most on-the-nose, blunt, heavy-handed metaphors for the Force. You can’t have it both ways, because the material conflict is cheapened if the spiritual/metaphorical world can have this level of influence.
Similarly, the planet they’re on seemed to struggle with the same dichotomy: It’s both a real planet in real space and a force nexus with shifting geography and seasons, and it’s inside a space pyramid, and the things that happen there can affect the Galaxy, and they ride around the magical planet on mundane speeder bikes. Again, pick a lane.
I also objected to some major sequences. Having Anakin demonstrate that he’s the literal balance by overpowering the literal lightside and literal darkside was many steps too far for me, and showing Anakin (and the audience) his future (including the destruction of Alderaan and the Vader mask) was both again way too overt, and in the story quite worthless as he literally gets that memory taken away. Likewise, the plot of the Son actually wanting to escape makes uncomfortable implications to the canon, and goes nowhere.
Anyway, I have sought to remedy these things aggressively. If we have to choose what the Mortis Gods are, then like other visions in the canon, they are tests, trials, messages, visions, metaphors, lessons, dream-speak from the Force. Mortis cannot be a real space - it is a dreamscape or vision quest within a force nexus, like the Dagobah cave.
But let’s talk about what’s good in the original episodes! There are some great visions, conversations with ghosts, and mystical nonsense. They all stay. The arc’s most important addition to the canon is Ahsoka’s final interaction with the Daughter, since in future media (including the Mandalorian) she’s sometimes accompanied by Morai.
That element, of Ahsoka and Daughter, drove the shape of the rest of the content and conclusion. It requires that we see the conflict between the Family and the others, so I retained all of the major beats of that conflict.
The major change required to make all of the above work, which affected almost every scene and conversation, was to turn the entirety of the plot into essentially an extended, shared, Dagobah cave vision sequence. The Mortis Gods have been stripped of almost all agency - they are now metaphors made manifest within the dreamscape, like Luke in Vader’s mask from ESB. They exist as guides and trials - until the third act conflict, which empowers them, making them mirrors of our main characters and the forces that surround them. They essentially then grow into performers of a morality play, showing our characters what their actions will cause on the Galactic stage if allowed to play out. The story then, at least, has a full dreamlike narrative - even if not a literal, perfectly logical one.
Oh, and having Qui-Gon’s ghost appear in this arc gave me a lot I could play up - skip the next section if you want more suprises.
Noteworthy changes:
Anyway, this was an absolute blast to produce. I really disliked the original episode but I think I’ve managed to make something I really enjoy, which hits all of the core beats in a completely new way that feels like it fits a lot better with the canon. I hope you all enjoy it too!
Onward to another great Maul episode, where shit goes DOWN.
I’ve caught up on this thread now, and I’m so excited to watch your Mortis episode. It’s my favourite episode of TCW, and it honestly sounds like you’ve significantly improved it! I’ve been holding off watching TCWR until it was all completed and I had time to watch it, but maybe now is the time to start slowly watching through them. I’m pretty excited.
“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas
TROS Novelisation: The Faraday Edit, TLJ: Stoic Edition, ROTS: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, Kenobi: Faraday Cut, Godzilla Vs Megalon, Godzilla Vs Gigan, Godzilla: Final Wars, The Light Rises, Faraday Jr.'s Star Wars
Eddie, what you’ve done with this episode is brilliant. Watching it I couldn’t even remember what had been cut. It doesn’t necessarily feel like anything is missing.
First, some suggestions that I wrote as I was watching the episode: I wonder if a jump out of hyperspace sound could be added right as we began fading into the first shot. Something to help blend the music fading in.
When the Daughter takes Obi-Wan to the altar, I wonder if you give Obi-Wan a line, something like, “What is this place?” I do think this episode runs fine on dream-logic, but I think it could help with the flow. Or maybe the Daughter could say, “I will take you to them” or something like that. Or just simply use “Come with me” that was cut as they’re walking to the cave.
Since this is a dream anyway, I wonder if you could change the color of Ahsoka’s lightsabers from green to red? When she pulls out her lightsaber and it slowly ignites, and Anakin looks shocked, I think seeing that it is red would add a nice punch to the moment. And since this is all a dream it is a cool way to have a brief glimpse of Sith Ahsoka.
I also was confused about how exactly you used the fireplace eyes shot of Ahsoka. Could you explain that a little more? I may have just missed it.
Color changing might make the green tower light in the background turn red, but would that matter? Maybe you could just recolor the green bulbs to red in the other shots too, since it is supposed to be a dark side place anyway.
Before the Son says, “Can you feel it, sister?” I wonder if we could get a hint that she is there with him. Like, she could simply say “brother.” It just gives us the idea that she just arrived there or something. But again, I guess it isn’t necessary because dream-logic.
Potentially a longer beat between Anakin healing Ahsoka and then waking up? Feels like the transition is too quick, especially since Ahsoka looks back normal now. Another beat of white screen might help feel like slightly more time has passed. But with the music transitions this might not be feasible.
I’m still trying to figure out the secret Qui-Gon line you’re referring to! I thought it might be “control your fear” before he sees his mother, but you mentioned that so I guess it isn’t it. Also, did you add something to that voice? Because at first it almost sounded like the Father. Which would raise some interesting questions. Is this a test from Qui-Gon, or from the Father, and Qui-Gon is simply guiding Anakin through the Father’s test? Or, is this all something Qui-Gon has put together to help them through what’s to come? Or, Qui-Gon just guided them to this place (a place he may have once visited himself) and let the Force take it from there? I may have just misheard the voice thing, but I like the mystery of it all.
I don’t think this is what you were referencing, but before Anakin enters the Son’s lair, do you have Qui-Gon say, “Take only what you take with you.”? Kind of awkwardly worded but I think it works. Since to me, Qui-Gon’s not talking about what he’s physically carrying, but what he’s emotionally carrying. And this could imply that the darkness within him is what has corrupted Ahsoka, and not the Son. BUT, if the Son is simply a manifestation of Anakin’s own darkness anyway, it’s one in the same.
That’s what I love about what you’ve done with this episode. These interpretations were arguably already there, but now they aren’t bogged down by all the other stuff with them trying to get off the planet and what not.
Speaking of which, I’m not sure how you interpreted the dagger metaphor, but I took it like this:
The dagger is a metaphor for self-sacrifice. I don’t think Obi-Wan understands this until he sees the Daughter jump in the way to save her father, and then sacrifice the rest of her life force to save Ahsoka. To me, this foreshadows Obi-Wan eventually sacrificing himself to not only save Luke, but transfer “hope” from himself to Luke. I think this is touched on with the “There is no hope” and “There’s always hope!” lines.
I do wish there was a way to make it clearer that Obi-Wan is getting something from this moment. Like, a close up of him observing what’s happening would be nice, but the only sort of close up is when he is shielding his face from the light. Like when the screen goes white, hear Obi-Wan say, “I… understand”, but that might be too on the nose.
I know awhile back you interpreted Obi-Wan failing to use the dagger properly as his failure to save Anakin from the dark side, but I think it could be interpreted both ways. Like I said, keeping things vague gains the benefit of fostering multiple interpretations and double meanings, just like the original Dagobah Cave sequence had.
And I think the question of “Balance” benefits the most from what you’ve done with this episode. With the way it ends, there is clear analogy being made to the morality play the Mortis gods depict, and what Anakin eventually does to bring “balance” as George laid it out.
It’s funny, because I think this edit simultaneously simplifies the message, but also, through vagueness, increases the mystery. I could go on more about what I got from this episode but I’ll stop my long post for now. Great job, Eddie!
Eddie, what you’ve done with this episode is brilliant. Watching it I couldn’t even remember what had been cut. It doesn’t necessarily feel like anything is missing.
Thanks so much! I’m really stoked that you enjoyed it. I was really hoping it would work for you guys.
First, some suggestions…
I’ll look into those.
I also was confused about how exactly you used the fireplace eyes shot of Ahsoka. Could you explain that a little more? I may have just missed it.
This relates to Ahsoka’s vision of her future self. I moved an extreme close-up shot of Ahsoka with fire in her eyes to match the dialogue where future-Ahsoka says “There’s a wildness to you little one. Seeds of the darkside planted by your master.” It’s subtle but cute.
I’m still trying to figure out the secret Qui-Gon line you’re referring to! I thought it might be “control your fear” before he sees his mother, but you mentioned that so I guess it isn’t it. Also, did you add something to that voice? Because at first it almost sounded like the Father. Which would raise some interesting questions. Is this a test from Qui-Gon, or from the Father, and Qui-Gon is simply guiding Anakin through the Father’s test? Or, is this all something Qui-Gon has put together to help them through what’s to come? Or, Qui-Gon just guided them to this place (a place he may have once visited himself) and let the Force take it from there? I may have just misheard the voice thing, but I like the mystery of it all.
Secret answer:
So you’ve kind of come round to the same curious implication via an unintended path! The secret line I’ve added is very subtle - at the very end, when Father says “You are the chosen one”, I had Qui-Gon deliver exactly the same line at the same time, so you’re actually hearing both voices. As if when Father accepts it, Qui-Gon’s getting his confirmation too. Is Qui-Gon the Father? Was Father Qui-Gon’s test made manifest? Is Qui-Gon puppeting this entire scenario? Or is he simply witnessing this as Father does? (As an aside, rather than having Father represent balance, as he more explicitly does in the original, I quite like implying here that he’s simply ‘The Force’, and his children are his aspects - the light side of the force, etc. Then his metaphorical death (which more literally happens when Vader kills Palpatine) is later followed by a movie which explicitly states “The Force (re)Awakens”.)
I don’t think this is what you were referencing, but before Anakin enters the Son’s lair, do you have Qui-Gon say, “Take only what you take with you.”? Kind of awkwardly worded but I think it works. Since to me, Qui-Gon’s not talking about what he’s physically carrying, but what he’s emotionally carrying. And this could imply that the darkness within him is what has corrupted Ahsoka, and not the Son. BUT, if the Son is simply a manifestation of Anakin’s own darkness anyway, it’s one in the same.
Yes, that’s the line. I had “-only what you take with you”, so had to use that line’s “take” twice to make a full sentence. I’d prefer a “bring”. (It maybe could become “Trust only what you take with you”?? Would tie in with the earlier line “Anakin will not be easy to deceive.”) It’s definitely the weakest of the added Qui-Gon lines, but your interpretation is what I was going for. I liked one interpretation that “what you take with you” includes the darkness within Ahsoka, since that comes from Anakin’s influence.
Speaking of which, I’m not sure how you interpreted the dagger metaphor, but I took it like this:
The dagger is a metaphor for self-sacrifice. I don’t think Obi-Wan understands this until he sees the Daughter jump in the way to save her father, and then sacrifice the rest of her life force to save Ahsoka. To me, this foreshadows Obi-Wan eventually sacrificing himself to not only save Luke, but transfer “hope” from himself to Luke. I think this is touched on with the “There is no hope” and “There’s always hope!” lines.
That’s absolutely valid! I think there are a lot of options here. For me-
The dagger is Obi-Wan training Anakin as Qui-Gon would have wanted. If Obi-Wan had done that, Ahsoka wouldn’t have inherited Anakin’s darkness (he first wants to use the dagger to “cut her free”). Then at the point where he throws it to Anakin (attempts to give Anakin the training he needs to overcome his darkness), his darkness (Ahsoka in this scenario, perhaps implying Anakin’s persistent attachment issues) catches it and hands it to the Son, representing Anakin’s full corruption. From therein, it represents Obi-Wan’s failiure and Anakin’s Vader persona - it kills the light, and then the balance, so that Anakin (himself, without the blade, redeemed from the dark) can finally kill the dark. (In the real-world scenario, Ahsoka ultimately managed to escape influencing Anakin to the dark, but his attachment to Padmé was the alternate attachment which still led him astray.)
I do wish there was a way to make it clearer that Obi-Wan is getting something from [the dagger] moment. Like, a close up of him observing what’s happening would be nice, but the only sort of close up is when he is shielding his face from the light. Like when the screen goes white, hear Obi-Wan say, “I… understand”, but that might be too on the nose.
That would be nice, but I think it’s best if our characters don’t fully understand what they’ve seen yet. Obi-Wan still needs to go through his failure and find inner peace before he is able to truly commune with Qui-Gon again. And the characters will still ultimately act out much of what they have seen today - it’s only Ahsoka who manages to sever herself from this implied fate. For example, I deliberately placed the most ‘explanatory’ Qui-Gon lines over Anakin sleeping/waking, so they can be remembered or forgotten by him at the viewer’s discretion.
That’s what I love about what you’ve done with this episode. These interpretations were arguably already there, but now they aren’t bogged down by all the other stuff with them trying to get off the planet and what not.
And I think the question of “Balance” benefits the most from what you’ve done with this episode. With the way it ends, there is clear analogy being made to the morality play the Mortis gods depict, and what Anakin eventually does to bring “balance” as George laid it out.
It’s funny, because I think this edit simultaneously simplifies the message, but also, through vagueness, increases the mystery. I could go on more about what I got from this episode but I’ll stop my long post for now. Great job, Eddie!
Exactly! Many of the metaphors were absolutely as written by George/Dave/Christian Taylor, but muddied by a lack of focus and an unnecessary need to hand the viewer too much. It should have been an episode that had people questioning it for years on forums afterwards, arguing about the interpretation of this or that line or action.
(Though, it is kind of fun trying to work out the “true” interpretation when the real answer is “I cobbled some of this together from nonsense”!)
One question though - how did you find the additional Qui-Gon lines? Ultimately a value-add?
Thanks so much for your analysis!
I’ve caught up on this thread now, and I’m so excited to watch your Mortis episode. It’s my favourite episode of TCW, and it honestly sounds like you’ve significantly improved it! I’ve been holding off watching TCWR until it was all completed and I had time to watch it, but maybe now is the time to start slowly watching through them. I’m pretty excited.
Thanks, Faraday! I really hope you enjoy it. If I remember right, you were one of the strong voices in support of me keeping this episode back when I announced plans to remove it, so thank you very much for your encouragement!
Love everything you said in response, Eddie!
Yes, the additional Qui-Gon bits totally help increase his presence, and it adds to the sense that he is guiding them through this.
Could you just push that line “Trust in the Force” to the shot of Obi-Wan walking with the Daughter? I think I recall that line not being totally necessary for the previous scene, but it benefits Obi-Wan’s lack of questioning.
I think “Take only what you take with you” line does work, but it might be worth playing with alternatives. Maybe cobble together Anakin saying something like, “What’s there?”
“Trust only what you take with you” is fine but you lose some of that meaning that I interpreted, which I thought was nice.
Another potential line you could cobble together could be, “Take only what is with you”, just would need to source that “is” sound.
Didn’t notice the secret line! Nice touch, I’m glad I came to a similar conclusion.
Oh, another suggestion! I wonder if you could squeeze in Ahsoka saying, “Master!” when Anakin wakes up. And before Obi asks if he’s alright. I guess it was just weird Ahsoka didn’t say anything to Anakin after he helped save her. It is one of those things that still works because we’re in dream world. Generally all of my suggestions fall into that category. I do agree that the red saber idea or having a Obi-Wan like during the white out are not necessary. The transitions I brought up might benefit from extension, but I watched it with my dad and we didn’t notice and editing issues.
RogueLeader said:
Yes, the additional Qui-Gon bits totally help increase his presence, and it adds to the sense that he is guiding them through this.
Awesome!
Could you just push that line “Trust in the Force” to the shot of Obi-Wan walking with the Daughter? I think I recall that line not being totally necessary for the previous scene, but it benefits Obi-Wan’s lack of questioning.
I could do! I could move it later, so the conversation goes:
Obi-Wan: “I don’t understand.”
Daughter: “When you reach the altar, it will give you what you need.”
Qui-Gon: “Trust in the force.”
This way, it helps justify Obi-Wan essentially being given a useless response by Daughter, though it doesn’t solve the issue at hand.
I think “Take only what you take with you” line does work, but it might be worth playing with alternatives. Maybe cobble together Anakin saying something like, “What’s there?”
I like this, I’ll give that a crack.
Didn’t notice the secret line! Nice touch, I’m glad I came to a similar conclusion.
Oh, another suggestion! I wonder if you could squeeze in Ahsoka saying, “Master!” when Anakin wakes up.
Yes, this is a good shout, I’ll try to do that.
I could do! I could move it later, so the conversation goes:
Obi-Wan: “I don’t understand.”
Daughter: “When you reach the altar, it will give you what you need.”
Qui-Gon: “Trust in the force.”
This way, it helps justify Obi-Wan essentially being given a useless response by Daughter, though it doesn’t solve the issue at hand.
That is true, though I didn’t necessarily feel like we needed more explanation at that point. I just felt like we needed some reason Obi-Wan goes along with the Daughter into this cave after she essentially kidnapped him. Yes, this episode can rely on dream logic, but I feel like it would be useful to have a line during that first shot of them walking up to the cave. Something to acknowledge the situation. Like I said, Obi-Wan could say, “What is this place?” or “Where are we?” And/or the Daughter could say, “Come with me” or some line about her brother. I felt that the Qui-Gon line would’ve worked during that shot as a way to reassure Obi-Wan. It could work in that place you suggested as well, but I feel like some kind of line would be nice to have in that first shot. I hope that makes sense.
Yup, totally makes sense! I’ll see what my options are.
It’s funny, the Mortis stuff used to be one of my least favorite arcs because of its implications with the Force, but your version really brings back the mystery that makes the Force so interesting. This is definitive for me.
I also was gonna tell you that I actually was telling my dad about what you were doing with Refocused last night (I showed off your excel spreadsheet) and we also watched Politics of War. It’s pretty nuts how you truncated three episodes into one. My dad couldn’t tell where one episode ended and another began, and I honestly couldn’t either. The only real hint is Padmé’s costume/hair changes, but that is arguably just her changing wardrobe for different days and occasions, and we only even thought about it because we knew it was an edit. It’s really great. I think my dad wants to go back and watched Refocused now so he doesn’t have to commit to the entire series.
I did want to mention that I think I saw a rogue frame during the scene where Dooku hires the bounty hunters. You may have already noticed that and saving it for your next polish export.
That’s completely awesome to hear Rogue, I love hearing stuff like this. Your Dad sounds great.
I did want to mention that I think I saw a rogue frame during the scene where Dooku hires the bounty hunters. You may have already noticed that and saving it for your next polish export.
Which episode/rough time was this?
He is! We’re both big Star Wars fans and watch all of the new shows and what not together whenever I get a chance to visit.
I couldn’t tell you time code off the top of my head, but it is in your Politics of War episode. I think it might come from the original Senate Murders episode but I’m not sure. It’s the scene with the two bounty hunters (the fish dude and the Selkath), and they’re talking to Dooku’s hologram. It happens near the end of the scene I think.