vranir

Congratulations on the release; excited to see it. PMed.

Unless JarJar is treated as bi-lingual. If he’s serving as a representative and go-between, it would make sense.

I like what you have here, but the Trade Federation seeking to take advantage of the situation needs to close out the intro text. Otherwise, the invasion is too out of left field.

I cut the vanilla rescue significantly in my sub-edit. Basically, ObiWan sets off the explosion, goes into back, opens 1 door, then the one where Leia is, and then leaves with her. There’s no opposition, because it’s all part of the trap.

The TikTok edit compresses the story but makes very major few changes (just gets rid of the Reva on Tatooine stuff at the end). The biggest contributions from it were an extra VFX shot of a stormtrooper when ObiWan is rescued after the first duel, and the removal of the runaway Jedi’s head when his body is hanging, along with the implication that Reva chopped it off at the end of the bar scene.

My favorite change by the TikTok guy was that the inquisitors killed the Jedi right at the bar. It tightened that story thread considerably (or made it possible to tighten).

I’ve downloaded up through season 3, but I’m still working my way through season 2.

I finally got to watch the edit, having previously only seen the first half of the series. I really liked it.

A number of things stand out to me though:

1. The pre-title intro is incredibly short. Because I got the editing itch myself, I tried moving the title later, right after he sits up at night trying to contact QuiGon. From the title, I transitioned to the first Alderaan scene. It works really well.

2. The underline in the title is still odd. I know it’s minor, but it’s very random and puzzling once your eye sees it.

3. Not necessarily an issue with your edit as much as with the original, but those inquisitors hang out for a long time on Tatooine doing nothing. I tried rearranging their scenes into a tighter sequence, and it flows pretty well. In my version, Owen confronts ObiWan, then the inquisitors land. Instead of walking to the bar, they give their anti-Jedi speech and interrogate Owen. They then proceed to the bar, where we discover that it’s not actually ObiWan they were looking for.

4. On a related note, in the edit, it’s hard to tell why the Jedi has been hung/hung himself. The inquisitors left already and he never showed up again after the bar scene. The TikTok guy’s version implies that he got killed at the bar, and while that’s abrupt, it makes more sense, especially if the street interrogation gets moved up like I suggested.

5. I’m fond of the new merged rescue scene, but after watching the whole film, I wonder if it’s really necessary or the best choice. It’s odd that there is such a high-tech and expansive base hidden under the city. It introduces tiny consistency issues, the most significant of which you have needed to address via extra digital manipulation. It is a cooler sequence than the original, but it’s kind of puzzling how easy it is for ObiWan to get in and out, why he is able to use the force slightly without alerting Vader, and why there’s not an instant alert throughout the city as soon as he emerges from the sewers. I get that it’s a setup, so that can explain some of the ease. It just seems maybe too elaborate just to get him outside where he has to be caught again. It’s also a bit incongruous as the rest of the edited movie takes place on the fringes of the galaxy. By making this a major shiny base, it sticks out as the only “civilized” location in the film, and it’s only a sub-location.

6. It’s a sweet moment when ObiWan repairs Lola, but in the edit, we don’t get the scene where she gets broken by the mercenary leader. It’s not a great scene, so I understand why it was cut, but it raises questions.

7. Since you drop the plotline with Reva recapturing Leia, why do you still show her looking in doors and finding the escape tunnel? Once again, I was able to tighten this sequence up by rearranging nearby scenes. I merged a couple of the early dual scenes and then went from the inquisitors in the streets to Tala leading Leia through the tunnel, then immediately to Tala leaving to rescue ObiWan, before cutting back to the conclusion of the dual. It flows well and cuts the momentum of events much less.

8. The spacing and amount of scenes where we see Vader’s ship coming and the pre-rebels prepping for the attack is awkward. I made some efforts to tighten it up, but the original really drags this out while also including enough solid character stuff that it’s hard to trim. And how long is Leia working on that door???

9. I wish that the Order 66 shots of Anakin had also been de-aged.

10. The call from Organa is awkward. I was able to trim it by cutting straight from Leia agreeing to enter the vent to her opening the hatch. Then I had the Empire land and start shooting the door. Then we see ObiWan quietly thinking (after his phone call that didn’t happen).

11. I moved the shot of the transport flying out the atmosphere so that it’s a quick cutaway near the start of Reva’s attack on Vader. In the original, I barely understood what had happened with the second transport escaping, and then it took way too long to reach space.

12. I love most of your music choices throughout the edit, but when Vader lands for the final dual, isn’t that a mix of the Separatist march and the Imperial march? The Separatist part just seems random.

13. What is the purpose of the final Mustafar scene?

I think that’s it for feedback. Overall, I really enjoyed your work and think it’s very well done. Your editing choices are sometimes bold, and I think that really pays off. Your transitions are polished, and your story has a lot of heart with minimal distraction.

I’m not sure about posting my own “edit,” since over 90% is directly derived from your own, but I’d be happy to share it with you if you want to see any of my changes in action. I made quite a few tiny adjustments as well just to tighten up dialogue etc. Let me know if you’re interested.

Thanks again for sharing your work.

Don’t forget his line about ObiWan holding him back. In the duel scene we literally hear ObiWan telling Anakin that he’ll be held back until he learns a lesson that he doesn’t think he needs.

Quick note - There’s a weird faint overlay during a few seconds of the conversation with the fake Jedi. Not sure why.

I’ll have to check it out then while I wait for v2 of this.

I see some guy getting publicity for his Kenobi edit, which he posted about on TikTok. I know that fan editors are wise to generally keep their work less public, but it made me feel a bit indignant for you and the other two or three people in this forum who have done the same project, likely as well or better than the one getting credit for it.

Of course. I just saw it in the Deepfake thread on this forum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhPmdlUuwOI

Looking forward to the new version.

Are you going to use the newest deepfake from Darth P for the flashback or keep your current version?

I’m excited for v2, but darn it - I was just getting ready to watch this release. Now I feel like I should hold off a few more days to get the latest revision.

Upgrades to your process or upgrades to your equipment/software? Curious, because your previous results were pretty dang impressive already.

I’d say definitely go for it, but be careful of overdoing it into the realm of cheesiness.

I like it. Why do we have a second shot of the rat back out in the street after ObiWan goes through the door?

Maybe make the voiceover start earlier during the new shots. That will reduce the weirdness of the headset being used underwater.

Also consider cutting the line right afterwards about taking a short break. What kind of support takes a break during the middle of the dangerous operation?

I agree that the elevator (recolored) would be better used going down to enhance the transition from market to underwater.

I really like this, including the music. That said, the pre-title part is incredibly short, as is the title itself. I’d consider putting the title after the entire video shown here, as well as providing a little bit longer establishing shots to start out and transitioning to the Lars farm stuff watching after the first set of flashbacks.

Picard season 2 has been finished and is available on request. Like all of my edits, it contains nine episodes, ranging in time from just under 30 minutes to just under 60.

While the edit changes less in plot than season 1, season 2 contains a ton of tiny adjustments to increase cohesion, remove tiny dialogue inconsistencies, and smooth the building of momentum.

In the vanilla season, I found the biggest issue to be one of pacing. There was a constant feeling of urgency but it was interrupted in nearly every episode by slow monologues and side adventures. Even the climactic battle in episode 9 had Picard stopping multiple times while running from bad guys to reflect on and explain things to another character. In this edit, I have made considerable effort to reduce or remove such interruptions, while also pulling each side adventure into a single episode so that it feels more tight. The result is a more cohesive viewing experience where the characters come across as more professional and more deliberate.

The second biggest issue was a sense that Q’s plan didn’t make sense and depended upon too many wild-card factors (for example, the idea that Picard going back in time was his own choice and not part of the plan all along). In this edit, I have removed lines that imply that things are happening outside of Q’s control. I have also added a few Q sound effects and flashes to imply that he is directly involved in elements of the story that were previously thought to be incidental. The result is that Q appears more deliberate, his plans more methodical, and the season as a whole less random.

While I have yet to compile the full change list (easily over five hundred edits), the major highlights are as follows:

• The plot builds at a more even pace, with fewer and shorter interruptions.
• Q is implied to be, or directly is, responsible for more of the coincidental story elements.
• The search for Jurati happens in a single episode to convey more urgency.
• There are no stretches where important characters randomly disappear in the midst of their stories.
• There is no last-minute drama surrounding the launch.
• The FBI side-plot is repurposed.
• Q’s interventions are clearly tied to his TNG appearances with white light and the “Q Flash” sound effect.
• Hints of the First Contact soundtrack are sprinkled throughout to amplify the Borg vibe.

Please note that the edit, while entirely watchable, is not fully HD. Sometime in the next year or two, when I have upgraded my equipment and software, I intend to redo my edits at a higher quality level. The imperfections are most obvious in the background of darker scenes, like those aboard the unpowered La Sirena.

This looked so close to final release a few weeks ago. I hope everything is okay, Smudger.

You should formally title it “Obi Wan Kenobi: A Star Wars Story.”

I saw an interesting comment today that suggested the ObiWan and Reva stories might be better as separate movies. I’m not sure if there is any potential there.