vranir

Adywan’s version has been my go-to for a few years now, but I like what you’ve done here to build on his work. I’d be interested in seeing this, especially as New Hope is one of my favorite Star Wars films.

It wouldn’t become my go-to version, however, unless it ends up as a larger project that covers the complete trilogy.

While I’m enjoying the show so far, I’d like to see it recut as a single “Star Wars Story” movie, making a type of side-show trilogy with Rogue One and Solo to bridge from the prequels to the original films.

What if the crawl established that the Jedi are there to broker peace between the Gungans and Naboo, then we introduce them in conference w Boss Nas? There’d be no random scene in the woods, and they’d simply take JarJar with them when they leave to meet with the Queen.

I too love the visual of the Gungan city, but I also completely understand it being removed.

Regarding Palpatine, I’d argue that it’s likely not a mystery that he becomes the emperor. When Amidala says that they need his help, most of the audience is going to think “Oh no.”

That said, it doesn’t have to be immediately obvious that he’s truly behind everything going on. If set up the right way, the audience can piece the truth together at the same time as the characters. To me, that’d be a more interesting journey - thinking that we’re rooting for the bad guy because he’s helping against the other bad guys but then realizing that he was behind everything all along.

I like it, especially the thread about the ambassadors and some of the new JarJar lines, but the following still stand out to me as (unavoidable?) issues:

• The number of quick scenes make it feel a bit choppy.

• How did the Jedi get to the planet? Why are they in the woods?

• Do we have to tip our hand w Sideous so early? I’d ideally like to see Dooku instructing them, setting up the overall Separatist threat, then reveal that he’s secretly taking orders from elsewhere in Ep2.

This may have been suggested before, but what if the Sideous hologram was a Dooku hologram?

I’m not sure how many times I’m going to watch this, so I’ll wait for the polished version. That said, I’m really looking forward to this edit! Thank you for putting it together.

As someone else who couldn’t make it through vanilla Clone Wars, I highly recommend these edits as a way to enjoy what the series offers.

He drops his cover in order to kidnap Satine, aided by the distraction of the spider droid and the coming Separatist boarding droids. It’s not clear what he had planned beyond that, but it doesn’t seem slipshod to me.

A lot of the Plo’koon and clone dialogue was also pretty redundant - same topics and sentiments being repeated, not much dimension being added each time. I personally prefer more cuts if it means more concentrated substance.

I like the Malevolence as it is in the current edit. I think the biggest problem was the constant buildup of it as a mystery ship. You’ve already reduced that angle in 2.0.

I agree that the less Ventress talks in New Padawan the better. It bugs me to no end how often these characters know one another by name when we’ve never seen them interact or have only fought each other in fighters etc.

I think focusing on that invasion stuff would be the best short-term gift to the community.

I’ve always been fine with the Mandalorian seasons as they were released, but I’m looking forward to using this edit as a special movie in the middle of the series.

Of course I’d like ENT too, but pace yourself, good man!

Thank you for introducing me to Cad Bane ahead of his appearance in Boba Fett. It’s much more fun when one can recognize the cameos.

I like it and what it does for his character (every little bit helps). The last line is very unclear though.

I actually don’t mind the end of season 4 as the finale. It leaves things open, but it also wraps up enough. More satisfying than SGU I think, probably comparable to the SGA finale.

For SG1, which premiere version are you planning to use? I personally prefer the final rerelease where they made some cuts (no nudity or awkward Carter line about genitalia) and replaced the giant glider with a shuttle.

While I agree that Bane’s infiltration goes nowhere, it is what lets them know he’s still alive and presumably has the holocron. Otherwise, they’d reasonably conclude he died in the explosion.

Here’s my detailed feedback and custom follow-up edit list for the final three episodes of Season 1. As always, most is subjective, but feel free to take anything that you want.

Please do note the text issue for “Children of Night” and the two text issues for “The Future of the Force.”

CHILDREN OF NIGHT

• The opening text uses the word “Whilst.” Though technically correct, it is the only instance in any of these crawls where you use an archaic term like this. I suggest replacing it with “While” for consistency.

• Made a slight trim to ObiWan and Anakin’s conversation during the initial fighter battle, just trimming mildly corny banter.

• Trimmed the most over-the-top “Master!” during the Ventress flashbacks, since it just took me out of what was otherwise a pretty serious sequence.

• Trimmed the appearance of Ventress right after the witch contacts Dooku. This leaves the plan a little more vague for a few more minutes, in order to build intrigue.

• Trimmed a redundant “Yesss” from Ventress.

• Shortened Ventress’ speeder ride to only include her arrival in the male village. I just got tired of seeing people go past those fleshy bag trees.

• Trimmed a redundant line about letting the challenge begin. Now, only Ventress says it, as a VoiceOver.

• Trimmed Savage’s line about his brother being weak. Now, he simply kills him, without dialogue or clear emotion. He is a machine.

• Trimmed Ventress’ advice to Savage so that it is now simply to never sympathize with the enemy.

• Cut all of Dooku’s analysis of the situation on Deveron. Instead, he says that he needs proof of Savage’s skills and is sending him there.

• Cut the scene where word of the massacre arrives at the Jedi temple. A lot of what was said was redundant and a tiny bit corny. Instead, we now transition immediately from Dooku calling Savage his apprentice to their lightsaber training.

A STRIKE AT THE HEART

• Made small times during Bane’s planning scene so that the story moves ahead faster and more of his cards are held close to his chest. The plot will become clear enough as the episode progresses. I also minimized the conversation about the safe, since that’s not really an issue in the edit.

• Significantly trimmed Anakin and Padme’s dialogue to be less cringy. Yes, it matches their tone in “Attack of the Clones,” but I think it works better and maintains its heart if toned down.

• Minimized the dialogue between Bane and the fish-like hacker, mainly because I didn’t care for the hacker and wanted him to simply do his job.

• Trimmed Bane’s redundant line about the senators giving him their com links, both before and after the Palpatine scene.

• Trimmed Bane’s recognition of Anakin (in two instances). Now, Anakin is considered simply a random Jedi who got in Bane’s way.

• Made a number of small trims during Anakin’s fight with the IG unit, tightening the flow of the sequence.

• Trimmed Anakin’s vocal reaction to being shot at by Bane’s team.

• Trimmed some of Bane’s dialogue immediately after breaking into the temple. Again, his character doesn’t seem like someone who would tell his colleagues his plans beyond exactly what they need to know in the moment.

• Trimmed much of Anakin and ObiWan’s conversation about the security breach. Because this is a compound episode, the conversation completely ignored what just happened in the senate building, which should be at the forefront of Anakin’s mind. By cutting the dialogue right after Anakin says that something’s happening, we can infer that they went on to talk about the entire situation.

• Trimmed the dialogue by ObiWan and Yoda about someone being disguised as a Jedi and Ahsoka needing to check on the librarian. It all seemed like intelligence that was gathered in a cut scene. Now, Yoda just tells Ahsoka to be vigilant because he senses deception, and she figures the rest out on her own.

• Trimmed Ahsoka trash talking Bane after his arrest.

THE FUTURE OF THE FORCE

• There is a typo in the opening text: “Artefact” > “Artifact”

• The opening paragraph also reads very awkwardly. I suggest “is reeling after the senate hostage crisis and a simultaneous heist from the Jedi temple.”

• Cut several establishing shots and Bane scenes during the opening battle, in order to move into the central plot faster.

• Trimmed some of Yalaren’s exasperation with Anakin. They’ve been together all season, and he should be used to Anakin by now.

• Trimmed Rex’s line about waiting for orders while Anakin is trying to figure out a plan to board the ship. It just felt awkward to me.

• Agan, cut some of Bane’s monologuing to the droids. He doesn’t seem like someone who would readily share what he is doing with the people around him.

• Cut Anakin repeating that Ahsoka should wait for him as she chases Bane.

• Cut some of the short scenes aboard the Venator and some of the exterior shots of the Separatist ship, in order to keep the focus on Anakin, Ahsoka, and Bane.

• Cut Ahsoka calling Bane “Slimo,” both times. The second cut (in the Gungan city) was not as smooth as I’d like, but I really didn’t like that line.

• Cut Anakin almost staying behind on the ship to chase Bane some more. Now, he and Ahsoka run straight to the launch bay to evacuate.

• Cut Anakin’s odd “hmm” after Ahsoka tells him that the holocron was destroyed.

• Cut the final scene of Ahsoka at the temple. I know that you really like having it there, but to me it still feels a bit random and my personal preference is to end the episode on Anakin and Palpatine.

Thank you, as always for your extensive work on this project. I can’t wait to get into Season 2!

Oh, one quick issue I noticed - there appears to be an extra vertical text line poking through during the opening crawl, kind of like an echo of the text behind it and slightly to the right. I’m not sure if it’s a lower layer showing up or what, but it does catch the eye in an otherwise pretty flawless production.

I was hoping everything was okay for you.

I’m definitely interested in both of your new projects - EFC is uneven but wildly underappreciated and SG1 is just classic. That said, I’m most interested in getting a decent number of episodes released for whatever projects you choose to focus on. I’d rather have a full season of 1 or 2 shows than 4 episodes each of 6 different shows. If splitting your efforts more broadly prevents burnout though, maybe that is the best way to go.

Since he doesn’t remember getting out of the sarlac in his armor, maybe don’t show that part? You could cut away after he uses his flame thrower inside the sarlac or start with him disoriented, being found by the Sand People.

I am looking forward to this more and more with the airing of each episode.

Thanks. It’s there now.

I watched the new intro. It wasn’t bad to start with, but it’s much better now.