vranir

Beautiful. This powerful sequence has always been one of my favorite parts of your series.

Congratulations!

I’ve almost finished my personal pass for The 501st, but I can’t say that any changes are worth calling out (just several minor trims for smoothing). Well done.

I’m finally getting back into these.

Not much to critique at all for “Assassin” except for one crazy idea - What if this were 1x01? A few dialogue trims and a new intro text could set this up as some sort of thing where this youngling Ahsoka is being sent to rendezvous with her new master on the front.

The appearance of Gunray, Dooku, and Sideous would link viewers back to Star Wars I, setting this up as a new chapter in that universe. The introduction of Ashoka would also clearly establish our new focus character, who would then become part of the more familiar team in the next episode.

We’d get a proper intro for Ventress, and maybe even the implication that the interrogation (brief as it was) provided the initial knowledge of Grievous and his weapon.

At the end, perhaps Ashoka could be delivered to Yoda, who then would send her to ObiWan and Anakin.

Like I said, it’s kind of a crazy idea, and it may not be worth the effort, especially as you’ve moved on again to the end of season 1. I just thought it might be interesting enough to mention.

Nice timing also, as apparently today is DS9’s debut anniversary!

I’m saving and converting the file right now into my standard format. Thanks a ton. I can’t wait for more.

Very cool. I need to catch back up, having gotten distracted by my own projects.

I think I prefer option 2, as it creates more of a mini-arc in the background, but I’d need to see it implemented to know for sure.

Impressive as always. I’m planning to do a rewatch and even possible edit on the series as these come out.

Don’t worry about it. We’d love to see the episodes, but you clearly have other things going on that should take priority. Take care of yourself. We can wait.

Thanks for the update though.

Thanks for taking the time to respond and explain each of your choices. It’s an excellent edit.

This is by far my favorite Hobbit edit. Your work smoothing away the stuff that you cut is nothing short of amazing - Tauriel and Legolas, Fili’s injury, Azog and Bolg, the more overtly sinister aspects of the ring, etc. I love it.

In that light, know that the following observations are meant as constructive nitpicks. I truly appreciate the edit as is.

The opening has a lot of short sequences. Most make sense, but I’m not sold on the one with Frodo outside by the gate. I think the opening as a whole might flow better without it.

60 years earlier font? - same as subtitles. This is the only setting label in the film. Is it even necessary?

You use a combination of white and grey dialog subtitles. I understand that it’s done intentionally, but what does LOTR use? I recommend matching as much as possible.

I think in cutting the White Council, you lost the reason for the company leaving ahead of Gandalf. They later mention him planning to meet up with them, but it’s curious that there’s no earlier explanation.

The transition from the first to second movie is still awkward. That’s a lot of distance for the orcs to cover so quickly. Maybe reduce the implied distance of the eagle flight. Maybe also reduce/remove the feeling of resolution atop the aerie so that the tension translates more easily into the next sequence.

I like the intermission but it seems awkwardly located, only placed where it is in order to cover the scene transition from the first movie to the second. A more logical point would be after the barrels, when mentioning the barge, as many other editors have broken it.

It’s twilight when the company is deciding to go to Beorn’s house, then suddenly bright day when they are running to and inside Beorn’s house, then night again? Can the lighting be adjusted to make it more cohesive?

The wandering in Mirkwood drags a bit. It’s thematic but is not pleasant to watch for so long.

Without the flashbacks with the elves and Thror, the jewels, and turning away during the dragon attack, Thorin’s hatred of Thranduil seems a bit unreasonable. I agree that it’s fun to get the backstory alongside Bilbo, but I do think that there may be good moments in the first half of the movie for contextual flashbacks, like the one you include when talking about Gurion in Laketown.

Getting out of the river seems a bit abrupt, but that may be unavoidable if you want to skip all mention of battle/injury.

It’s unclear how Bard, Bilbo, and Gandalf got back to Dale ahead of the orcs.

It’s not clear why Bilbo ran off to ravenhill.

Thorin and company get to ravenhill almost instantaneously. Maybe a fighting montage would help the transition.

What is the purpose of the bats flying down over the armies? The shot cuts away, and it draws attention to the gap of time between them flying past Bilbo and them arriving at the battlefield itself. I suspect it’s enough to see the bats arrive with Bilbo, then see them intermittently fighting eagles etc during the rest of the battle.

Did you show the part where the axe gets out of Bifur’s head? You do show him without it at Bilbo’s departure.

Credits music - consider the closing song from Five Armies, since Misty Mountains appears in the film already and it’s a nice closing that seems a personal touch for Bilbo and for the entire production team. I do like the full Misty Mountains version you use though. Consider also using the cast and concept sketches during the closing credits. That would tie Hobbit in more aesthetically as a companion unit to LOTR as a whole, not just a prequel chapter. You already support this understanding by including the main “The Hobbit” title screen and no follow-up white chapter title.

Have you considered making companion HD edits for each of the LOTR films? You could add musical intermissions, make slight edits, fix the appearance of Gollum in Fellowship, and maybe even incorporate select flashback footage from cut Hobbit content.

This sounds excellent. I’d love to see it. PM sent.

Sounds very interesting. I’m looking forward to seeing the result.

Congratulations on the 1x05 milestone.

I’m just now getting caught up, so here are mg thoughts on “Assassin.”

• I like how you dialed back the familiarity of Ashoka and Ventress. This works much better.

• The episode is pretty tight. Good pacing, lots of action, but nothing that really feels unnecessary.

• In the opening text, I still find the phrase “Meanwhile, the Republic… now fears Separatist spies” to read awkwardly. I suggest the following:

“…that the Malevolence attack plan WAS leaked to Count Dooku, SPARKING fears OF Separatist spies.” This removes the odd personification of the Republic.

• The initial conversation between Dooku and Sideous has an odd focus on Ventress’ failures, even though we haven’t really seen much of that in this edit series. Maybe consider removing those line portions to leave the impression that she is very competent.

• Early on, when Ashoka and Luminara are boarding the Venator, there is a noticeable difference between what they are saying and their mouth movements. This wasn’t an issue in the 1.? version; I’m not sure what changed.

• There’s a very abrupt music transition around 18:24, which maybe could be smoothed out.

Other than that, another solid episode. I’ll watch the new 501st and give some feedback there soon.

Welcome back. Beautiful work. I’ll be eagerly waiting for each episode of both series.

^ Agreed

How about…

As Anakin and the decorated 501st Legion widen the net, he sends Captain Rex to inspect the Republic’s long-range listening stations.

I like your current text. Leave “but” out of it.

The only thing that feels off to me is “heroic” Captain Rex. Yes, it’s accurate but it seems unnecessary and highlights nothing in the context.

Sorry to hear that. Best wishes and thanks for letting us know.

PM also sent.

I suppose if anyone knows where Vader’s TIE is located on the Death Star wreckage it’d be Kylo Ren, but it wasn’t seen or mentioned past A New Hope.

We also see Vader arrive on the Second Death Star in a shuttle, no indication that his custom TIE is there at all. Bringing it back for this seems highly coincidental, much more suited for the unedited sequel trilogy than the HAL version.

I just wanted to pop in to say that I love this edit and am excited for v2.

Is there a chance that you’d keep an option for the Imperial Shuttle scene (either an entire alternate edit or just that scene, so that people who like it can splice it back in)? Thanks.

It’s all too technical for me, but I truly appreciate your work and your willingness to give us a glimpse of your workflow.

The improvement in the Badlands shots is clear.

Beautiful. And thanks for the explanation. As always, I can’t wait for more.

The only part that sounds awkward to me is the following paragraph:

Meanwhile, the Republic has learned that the Malevolence attack plan had been leaked to Count Dooku, and now fears Separatist spies.

There’s nothing really wrong with it, but how about the following more streamlined version:

Meanwhile, the Republic has learned that a Separatist spy may have leaked the Malevolence attack plan to Count Dooku.

I like most of Cabijista’s version but have a couple of tiny suggestions:

Conflicts erupt in the early days of the Clone Wars.

Having successfully protected Duchess Satine from Death Watch, Anakin and Obi-Wan now rejoin the clone fleet in their pursuit of General Grievous.
(successfully safeguarded > successfully protected, to reduce the number of “s” words in close proximity)
(cut “main” because it just seems a little wordy and they weren’t seemingly with the fleet at all previously)

Meanwhile, the Republic has learned that the assault plan against the Malevolence was leaked to Count Dooku, raising fears of a Separatist spy.
(“have” > “has” learned and “their” > “the” - because “the Republic” is usually a singular noun)
(“arising” > “raising” - grammatical fix)

The covetous NUTE GUNRAY has been caught sending Ryloth’s military secrets to his fellow Separatists, and is being escorted to jail.
(Not sure about the name-drop of Ryloth, since it’s not been mentioned yet, but I understand that you are setting up the Ryloth battle to come)

Master LUMINARA UNDULI has asked Ahsoka to help question Gunray, as they hope to uncover both Grievous’ location and Dooku’s plans.
(removed the comma before “and Dooku’s plans”)

But Dooku will not allow that information to fall into enemy hands…