vote_for_palpatine

Sounded good to me. Sincere, only blamed himself, only chastised the media for going after his daughter. Hope he recovers from this.

Tiger's statement is apparently coming up in the 11 o'clock hour (EST). I really want to see if his apology is a proper I've-been-a-total-ass-to-my-family kind of apology or a the-media-drove-me-to-this-I'm-a-victim-too kind. My money is on the second one.

xhonzi said:

Oooh... I always wanted to be Eddie Reyes Jr.  Way back in Sidekicks, the Last of the Electric Nights and then in TMNTII...

And what about this: He's playing both me AND Darth Maul? 

 Well, I have to keep mum on the potential clone-plot possibilities, but I just felt like Ernie (not Eddie) was the best person to play each part. And I've been supervising our casting department because most people are hopeless with faces. I'm not. I know what I'm talking about. But then a lot of people are not good with faces. The majority of people, even.

There's something about those commercials...I don't really know what I'm supposed to think about them. They have this in media res vibe going on. There is something familiar about them, almost like they are playing off of something we're all supposed to know or relate to. Or I'm an idiot and it's obvious to everyone but me. What about these commercials?

This was on my clipboard:

Seriously. I usually have something going on there. But nothing - Nothing! - to paste this time. I am glum.

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT FROM VFPFILM, LTD.!

I am pleased to announced that, after a 20-day absence from the poster's chair, the state of forumatic art has progressed to the point where I can properly tell the tale of Darth Vader in the upcoming post entitled The Phantom Post. This, plus two other prequel posts, will portray the era which took place on OT.com before the events shown in A New Post.

The special effects department, headed by Timstuff, assures me that my Original Vision will never look better - and he's telling me his team at IFM have rendered an exciting new CGI character, conceived by my son Pus, that will be a beloved character for many, many threads to come.

More to come, but I am at liberty to release the names of great actors that have committed themselves to TPP:

• Darth Vader/older Anakin Skywalker - DJ Qualls
• Young Anakin Skywalker - Jon Gruden
• Queen Amidala - Lindsay Hollister
• TV's Frink - Sean Connery
• Gaffer Tape - some dude dressed as Katy Perry
• Senator Palpatine/Sidious - John McCain
• Darth Maul - Ernie Reyes, Jr.
• xhonzi - also Ernie Reyes, Jr.
• The Jedi Council - N'Sync
• C3PX - Archie Andrews
• Bingowings - Norm MacDonald
• Mace Windu - Antonio Fargas or Fred Williamson
• skyjedi2005 and vaderisnothayden - as themselves

My Original Vision has never been greater. I haven't lost one thing in the poster's chair, as we will see this blockbuster posting season.

I pick...David Eckstein. Beat that, bitches!

I did write this, thank you both. :) I always thought the oldest joke ever told must have had a compelling back story.

It was a deceptively cold day - the sun blazed freely through a cloudless sky, but no amount of sunshine could thwart the chill of the thin December air. A single two-lane highway meekly meandered through a vivid panorama of rolling hills, large brown-green patches of knee-high grasses, and sporadic trees half-full with dull yellow and dark red leaves. The occasional car happening by, together with the highway and a small abandoned gas station, seemed to somehow compliment the scenery rather than interfere with it.

-get to the other side-

When the grey 1996 Toyota Camry passed in front of the gas station, Chicken sensed something. This was the hour. This was the moment upon which heroes are forged in the searing heat of a trial. This was not a simple hunt-seed-find-seed-eat-seed mission hardwired into the DNA of all chickens - this was a true test of blood. Of feathers. Of beaks.

-get to the other side-

The phrase dominated Chicken's consciousness, with a bold lucidity not typically found in poultry. Indeed, Chicken's conscious thoughts were usually along the lines of Oh shit there's a dog! or Oh shit there's a cat! or Oh shit this enormous building is full of hens SCORE!!! But today, on this brisk, picturesque afternoon, all of Chicken's forefathers seemed to unify in Chicken's head, coalescing in one crystalline mantra:

-get to the other side-

A cautious foot forward. The head, nervously tilting at all angles. Feathers ruffling. There is no sound. There is no cold. There is only a task.

-get to the other side-

Footfall footfall footfall faster faster faster

-get to the other side-

First lane has been crossed!

-get to the other side-

Impossibly, Chicken was increasing his speed. For good measure he flapped his wings, which did seem to boost him forward even faster still.

-get to the other side-

...first the left foot made contact with the new world, then the right. The heart pounded but steadily slowed back to a familiar pace. Chicken looked around, back toward the gas station, then to the left, then to the right, then up, inexplicably. Chicken had done it! Though no audience was present to record the occasion for posterity, a blow was struck at that moment for chickens everywhere. To the extent that one can achieve this when one has a beak for a mouth, Chicken smiled.

EPILOGUE

Some time later, Chicken, still basking in the afterglow of his immortal accomplishment, happened upon one of his nearest and dearest colleagues, Chicken.

Chicken breathlessly related his tale of conquest and victory. Chicken listened to his friend's amazing tale, enraptured by the implications. Perhaps we will realize our full potential after all, he thought.

"One last thing, Chicken," said Chicken, "I'm going to have to tell all of my friends about this. They're going to ask me, 'What made him do it? What drove him, down deep in his gullet?' What will I say to them?"

"Tell them, said Chicken, pausing theatrically for maximum effect, "tell them I did it...to get to the other side."

A smile did not, but would have with a different type of mouth, slowly cross the face of Chicken as he mused over this ironic twist. Of course that's not what they were asking...oh! That's rich! They'll be asking for Chicken's inner motivation, not the mere short-term reason! What a hilarious distortion of expectations!

Chicken followed suit with the same non-expression. The two then joined together to share a long and hearty non-laugh.

Only in this case, Gaffer is actually guy.

I have been accused of being guy many times in the past. And it's true. Damn my genes...I am guy. So what!? I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?!?

Because it's been far too long for me in this thread:

HA! I kill me!

They're prequels, so they have to be watched before the original trilogy.

Sucks for you if you chose to look at spoilers from 1977-2005.

At VFPFilm, Ltd., we can arrange that, Mr. Frink.

The lasers look more red than pink, which is a problem. Otherwise, that post was perfect. I would like you to come down to Palpwalker Ranch and replace that talentless quisling, VFP's Rick McCallum. Of course, I won't fire McCallum to his face - I'll simply take away his parking spot, as every good employer should do.

I thought it was CP3S?

And my rottweilers in suits will destroy you. I'll countersue every VOUT fan for unreasonable expectations. Then I'll donate 16 kajillion-fillion dollars to my alma mater. Then I'll digitally replace each and every poster here with a golden duck. Then I'll ask for Amy Winehouse's hand in marriage. AND THE REAL FANS WILL ALWAYS DEFEND ME, NO MATTER WHAT! Ha Ha Haaaaa!

I was raised Catholic. I always thought there was some value in giving up something, but I wasn't (and still am not) very good at self-deptivation. But I never could understand the point of "meatless Fridays", especially if you eat fish. How is fish meat not meat?

I believe the quote is "doo or doo not..."

You may not be able to tell, but the 2004 SE has a tiny, itsy-bitsy, not-really-worth-mentioning barely blue tint to it. I wasn't even really aware, but now that I can see for myself, it's obviously what my original vision was supposed to be all along. So the credit for the success of the new image belongs to me.

Screenshot:

Sorry about the double post, but I've been dying to be juvenile towards someone lately - Gaff just happened to be in the way.

Oooh, look at me! I'm Gaffer Tape! I do my research! You all suck!

:D

Thank you to the folks who mentioned Napoleon Dynamite, Forrest Gump, and The Dark Knight. Batman Begins was significantly better than its more famous sequel.

I hate ET.

I am rapidly catching up this show, as I have (embarrasingly) belatedly discovered the watch-for-free option on abc.com. I have watched seasons one and two, and this show is as good as advertised.

And Evangeline Lilly, who was the first woman listed on my "Hot Women That Just Don't Do It For You" thread, has absolutely nothing on her hips whatsoever. No junk in the trunk, sadly. She is the fourth-hottest woman on that show (Sun, Shannon, Claire).

Sgt. VFP, look at some of the other movies that have been listed in this thread.  I think some of us (myself included) are stretching the term "great movie" to include movies that are greatly popular or generally considered good by a lot of people.

Indeed, Commodore Frink, but I didn't think Stripes rated that highly even in the stretched definition. I could be wrong. Should I start a thread about Stripes?

What do you all think? Stripes thread? Yes or no?

Maybe I should start a thread to see if there's interest in a Stripes thread.

LOL it's BadAssFrink, everybody!