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sherlockpotter

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31-Jan-2021
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29-Nov-2023
Posts
680

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Post
#1566507
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Yeah, that’s where I’m planning on leaving Hux at this point. I wanted to explore the idea of still killing him off; but as you pointed out, it all just felt forced. I actually do have some additional Hux dialogue ready to go, and then I’m going to try reusing some old shots during the finale. Like you said though, no perfect solution. They really did a number on him in the theatrical film.

I do think I want to keep Rey in the scene during the healing process - like I mentioned above, I think it’s a rather pivotal moment for her character. I definitely am curious about the “Ben lives” angle though - it’s something I’m interested in, but I don’t think I have the skillset to get it to where it needs to be in order to work. I’ll be sure to take a look at those other edits you mentioned!

Thanks for the feedback!

Post
#1566401
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Welcome, ildiem! Thanks for checking out the project!

I see what you’re saying. There is Rey’s earlier line with the Snake, “transferred a bit of life”; but I can see where we’d need to establish the jump from “a bit of life” to “the whole life.”

Maybe something like “Rey, please, we can still save him. Let me save him. Bring him home.” Is that still too vague? I don’t want to bog down the scene with too much mechanical exposition, you know?

Post
#1566390
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Hello! This summer ended up being unexpectedly busy for me, which took me away from editing for a while. But, I am happy to say that things are progressing! My main focus has been on enhancing the new dialogue for this edit with additional bits of AI-generated content, splicing it all together in order to get the most natural, emotive performances possible. So far, I have around 75 lines of “reconstructed” dialogue, i.e. dialogue for named characters, whose voices are already established.

To that end, I’m excited to finally present a significant scene that I’ve been working on: Leia’s death. If you’re interested in reading more about my thought process behind these changes, you can do so below.

Explanation:

Leia’s death never worked for me in the film. We’ve seen characters - including Leia herself - use the Force to sense even hear each other across great distances plenty of times before, so I refuse to believe that that’s what killed her. So the only explanation I can see is that Leia, like her mother before her, lost the will to live. It’s stupid at best, and disrespectful at worst.

My goal here was to give Leia an actual reason for dying; and what would be more fitting than sacrificing herself to save her son? Rey channels Leia’s life force into Ben - which also explains how Rey is able to heal a mortal wound without dying, while the same action costs Ben his life at the end.

In addition to the plot logistics, I believe this version is much stronger from a character perspective. Leia gets to have a final conversation with her son, reaffirming him of her love. This then helps to justify Ben’s redemption in the next scene. (Leia: “Ben…” [dies]. Ben: “Oh okay, I guess I’m good now.”)

This also helps to push Rey’s new character arc along very nicely. In my version, she’s not going to fall due to the abstract concept of genetic moral inheritance; she’s fighting against her own innate anger and darkness. At this point in the story, she has lost control of her emotions entirely. In her anger, she stabs Ben when his back is turned, destroying Leia’s efforts to save her son. Leia now has to sacrifice herself to save Ben, to fix Rey’s mistake. Leia’s death is now Rey’s fault, because Rey lost control. It’s no wonder, then, that Rey would flee to Ahch-To, afraid and ashamed of what she’s done.

This scene involved a whole slew of original Leia dialogue, and the score and soundscape have been completely replaced. Feedback is always welcome, especially in regards to the “Force Voice” reverb effect.

https://streamable.com/o63f91

Additionally, just to put it out there, I still need help wrapping up two VFX shots, involving paint outs and tracking. If you have some experience with After Effects and are wiling to help, please reach out!

Thanks for watching! More (hopefully) soon!

Post
#1538008
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

I guess…my thinking is, I don’t really understand the point of removing Hux and then just replacing him with a functionally identical character. There’s no storytelling value in doing it in the theatrical version; and I think there’s even less value in going out of the way to do that again here. And purely in terms of plot, Hux’s death serves absolutely no purpose in the film either.

So, given that, I think I’m leaning towards leaving this scene on the cutting room floor. Overall, I want this edit to feel like a more cohesive follow up to the previous two films; and I think that pointlessly throwing away Hux halfway through goes against that objective. For now, I think I’ll proceed as originally planned, and keep him alive.

Post
#1537465
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Hi all, happy Star Wars Day!

There was some discussion earlier about preserving Hux dying in this edit. (The original plan was to scrap his death entirely, along with half of the Finn/Poe/Chewie escape.) I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and here’s where I’m at:

Hux is shot twice in the film, poor bloke; unfortunately, I don’t think either “shot” (ahem) will work in this edit. The first time, when Finn shoots him, the framing and pacing (and setting) of the shot is all off. It’s designed to be a comedy shot, and I don’t see a way of repurposing it to have the proper dramatic weight.

The second shot also wouldn’t work. Hux is bandaged - which doesn’t make sense if Finn and Poe and Chewie are never re-captured, and Hux never has to break them out. And there’s no way to cut around that costuming, because it’s all one continuous take.

So instead, we’re going to have to get creative.

I’ve been experimenting with the idea of Pryde shooting Hux as part of a coup. This is my progress so far. Obviously, it still needs a fair amount of cleanup before I’m ready to officially include it, especially with the composite masking and the lip sync; but before I waste time trying to do that, I wanted to get people’s opinions: How do we feel about this scene? Does it make sense? Does it add anything worthwhile to the overall story? Will audiences be confused about Pryde’s motivations?

(For context here, I’m planning on moving the Leia scene up in the film - so it would go Hangar Scene -> Leia Scene -> Hux/Pryde Scene.)

https://streamable.com/zeqwdm

Post
#1535251
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

sade1212 said:

I’m excited to see how you’ve managed to achieve that.

You and me both, dude. 😉

It’s definitely hard to say how the Palpatine restructure will play out without having the completed edit. Something about doing it this way just feels right to me though, so I hope it works in practice! In my mind, removing him as the looming threat allows it to feel more like a Rey movie instead of a Palpatine movie. It also helps to drive a greater wedge between Rey and her friends if she’s the only one burdened with the knowledge of Palpatine’s return. Plus, it’s not a reveal that should be tossed in unceremoniously. You’ve got to earn it, build to it.

I just hope all of that will come through effectively!

Glad to see you, sade; thanks for reaching out!

Post
#1528597
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

It is 100% on my list, Alex! Haha

I had no idea more was in the works for Ascendant, Hal. That’s fantastic! Do you have a proposed v3 changelist?

Jar Jar, those new lines sound incredible as always! I do wonder though if it sounds a little…technical? As if Poe were just reading off the Wookieepedia article for the Sith Destroyers. What if it’s a little less specific: “His followers have been hiding something for years - an enormous stockpile of star destroyers from the old empire, outfitted with new weapons and armor. He calls it the Final Order.”

Post
#1526654
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Great to see you, Raditz, glad to have you on board!

Seize the Frame did an incredible job with the Force of Darkness film - in fact, some of my early concepts for this cut involved incorporating their project into this one. Ultimately though, I decided against it. There are several tiny details in FoD that are just a bit off from TROS - the way they frame their shots, the style of the fight choreography, and especially the music. Don’t get me wrong, it’s all excellent as its own thing; but I worried that the two styles of filmmaking wouldn’t quite mesh together. Not to mention, to replace the music with John Williams score, it would also require me to redo all of the foley and sound FX.

For me, J.J. has a very distinctive way of putting together his movies; and I want this project to feel like a cohesive, professional film. I was working on the Dagger Vision sequence, for example, and there are things I included in there that, normally, I wouldn’t have chosen to edit that way; but I did it anyway, because it felt more like J.J.'s style.

That said, I do have other new bits that I’m working on, to flesh out Kylo as a character more. So hopefully he’ll still have a satisfying arc at the end of the day!

Post
#1526487
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

NeverarGreat said:

Wow, thanks y’all! I’ll see if I can’t have that 1.1 version out soon, then it’s on to 2.0.

For the final paragraph, is it better to describe the band of rebels as ‘daring’ or should I refer to the Republic as ‘new’? That’s the question. Perhaps 'tis better to remove ‘daring’ because it’s just one more bit of wordiness while ‘New Republic’ doesn’t read as any more wordy.

Very well, how about this:

In an act of RESISTANCE,
a band of rebels armed
by the New Republic has
sent their greatest pilot
to Jakku, desperate to
find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…

Ooh, yeah, that’s great! Only thing I can think of is perhaps changing “greatest pilot” to “best pilot,” to match up with Kylo’s taunts during the interrogation.

NeverarGreat said:

Oh very well, I’ll poke around in this can of worms again 😉

You have good points, and I agree with almost everything. I was trying to be clever by stating that the goal of the First Order was to destroy any attempt to find Luke, since as you say nobody but Kylo wants to actually find him again. But it is a bit wordy. I don’t want to have the First Order declare specifically that they wish for regime change, since that would probably require action on the part of the Republic, but I would like to keep it more subtle.

That’s a darn good point about specifically calling for the fall of the Republic - more people other than Leia would have probably taken them seriously. Although…in that case, maybe it should be more clear that the Resistance does not have the full backing of the Republic (yet)? That way you can also set up that deleted scene of Leia: “Tell the Senate to get off their fat, lazy asses and help us out!”

(Darn it, the setup for this film is so convoluted lol.)

And I see what you’re going for about Kylo, but I wonder if that’s going to make things more confusing for general audiences. Why is he working with the FO (and why are they going along with it) if his goals directly oppose the FO’s only mission statement?

I also wanted to experiment with the whole “Imperial Remnant” terminology, to tie back into the world-building for this era that’s being added via the Mandoverse. What do you think?


The galaxy is in crisis.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore the legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.

With the Jedi gone,
Imperial Remnants have
begun to return. Emerging
from a hidden base, evil
agents of the FIRST ORDER
have been sowing disorder
and fear throughout the
New Republic.

In an act of RESISTANCE,
a band of rebels, operating
without the support of the
Senate, has sent their best
pilot to Jakku, desperate
to find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…

Post
#1525952
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

I’d be down for a v1.1, so long as it’s not going to be too much extra effort on your part. The v2 changelist sounds incredible as well!

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s the crawl that I would put on this version:
(JEDIT: Updated link with new version)
https://mega.nz/file/TYNF1IaJ#Yeo_OtKzCNOXXN8Na4E0A8bIwoutNn1EXox041BwX4M

I remember how much you were agonizing over the crawl! It’s really good - I love the inclusion of the phrase “Last Jedi,” and how the Resistance has the backing of the Republic - but would you absolutely despise me if I poked at one or two little niggles?

The Republic is in crisis.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore its legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.

Weren’t the Jedi technically a separate organization that existed in tandem with the Republic? Could be getting my nerd wires crossed; but simply calling it “the legendary Jedi Order” flows better in my mind.

Rejoicing in the Jedi’s
downfall, sinister agents
under the command of
the evil FIRST ORDER
have emerged from a
hidden Imperial base to
declare that all who seek
Luke Skywalker’s return
shall be destroyed.

This sentence feels a smidge too long in the context of the crawl (where the text literally moves at a crawl, so it’s already hard to read). It also makes it sound like the First Order really only cares about being anti-Jedi, rather than wanting to overthrow the government, re-establish Imperial rule, etc. Plus, Kylo is the only one hell-bent on finding Luke; Hux and Snoke are totally fine with destroying BB-8.

In an act of RESISTANCE,
a daring band of rebels
armed by the Republic
has sent their best pilot
to Jakku, desperate to
find the last Jedi and
vanquish the shadow now
rising across the stars…

Again, just feels a touch verbose. Also, it might just be me, but it’s a little odd to hear the expression “across the stars” to describe the spread of evil, when it’s also the title of one of John Williams’s finest love themes lol. That expression just has a very romantic, poetic connotation to it.


How about:

The Republic is in crisis.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore the legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.

In the Jedi’s absence,
sinister agents of
the evil FIRST ORDER
have emerged from a
hidden Imperial base,
demanding that the
Republic be dissolved
And the galaxy returned
to Imperial rule.

In an act of RESISTANCE,
the Republic has sent
a daring band of rebels,
led by their best pilot,
to Jakku, desperate to
find the last Jedi and
vanquish the shadow now
rising over the galaxy…

I sincerely apologize for re-opening old wounds, Nev.

Post
#1525919
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Snooker! Thank you, I may very well take you up on that! Your work on Ascendant was amazing!


Honestly, where I’d love to take the story is: I’d have the last shot of Rey be of her hugging her new family. She is then completely removed from the epilogue, and instead Ben arrives on Tatooine. He’s returned to where it all started, in order to create a new beginning for himself. Last shot of the film is him, silhouetted against the binary sunset, as John Williams’s score swells around him.

That said, I’m also trying to be realistic. The amount of VFX work, in my mind, would be enormous. Even if we strip it down to the bear essentials and make some concessions, you’d still need a shot of Kylo flying away from Exegol, and from Rey, after the battle. (If I were directing the movie from scratch, I’d probably also include shots of Ben in the cockpit and jumping to hyperspace, but you could probably work around those.)

What do you do after that? Assuming Rey still goes to Tatooine (because trying to remove her from all of the shots wouldn’t be feasible), I’d probably structure it like this: Rey stands up, senses something, looks over. Rather than seeing Ghost Luke and Leia, she sees Flesh Ben walking up. (Something like the shot on Pasaana, but you’d have to paint out the smoking wreckage of the ship behind him.) At that point, I see three options:

  • Ben joins her on the Falcon. You see Rey walking away, BB-8 in tow, and then Ben following her. They fly away together. You’d need to comp Ben into the shot somehow.
  • Rey stands and waits for Ben. They stand silhouetted together. I’m not a fan of this - I support Hal’s decision in Ascendant to not leave Rey stuck on another desert planet for her final shot in the series.
  • Rey ditches Ben. She walks away, the Falcon flies off as Ben is silhouetted. This feels like the worst one to me. It’s just a rehash of their same relationship - he chases her, she escapes, Ben is left alone and forsaken.

So, talking it all out, you’d minimally need four new VFX shots to make #KyloLives work in this version of the film:

  • A shot of his ship flying away after the battle on Exegol.
  • A shot of him approaching on Tatooine.
  • A shot of him seeing Rey from afar.
  • A shot of him following her to the Falcon.

Truth be told, that’s less than I thought it would be; but it’s still more than I’m capable of doing. It’s an idea that I’d love to see realized, but one that I’ll put near the bottom of my wishlist. If someone else is willing to help build the shots, I would be happy to include them!

Post
#1525735
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

Heya Nev, just checking back in here, and I’m really glad to see that you’re still working on Starlight v2!

NeverarGreat said:

Okay, here’s version 2:

https://mega.nz/file/bd9ABBzC#rMW8Q-gGe_kyRSr8cDKbx8suklsmjvJkKiB04Yoduec

This sounds really, really good. And well done timing “This is a catastrophe” to 3PO’s little head bobble - it’s tiny details like that that really help to sell the line replacement.

Post
#1525734
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

To be honest, I’m not really sure how I’d be able to keep Ben alive. Like, sure, I could remove the shot of him keeling over; but without any more footage after that, I don’t think the movie would feel complete. That said, I think Movies Remastered might be doing something with keeping Kylo alive - I know he’s floated the idea before, at least - so you may want to look into his work if you’re interested in exploring that angle for the film!

As for the Reylo romance, I think I’m still leaning towards removing it, yes. But the way I have it mapped out, I still want to emphasize their connection and their relationship; I just won’t make that relationship explicitly romantic. I think it’s sort of a “best of both worlds” situation: people like me, who don’t see a romantic connection between them, don’t have an awkward kiss shoved into the film at the last minute; and people like you, who do see it that way, can infer that the romance is there - they just weren’t able to physically act on it before Kylo dies.

Post
#1525410
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Thank you, guys; I really appreciate the support!

Eddie, I love your ideas! My original plan with Hux was to not kill him at all, and instead integrate him into the final battle with some pre-existing footage. Of course, your idea would prevent the audience from recognizing the old shots, which would be a good thing. Maybe something with Pryde killing Hux as part of a coup? Definitely worth exploring!

As for the dagger vision, I was actually already planning on using some ROTJ footage! (Kind of like the vision is telling Rey, “It’s on the Death Star, here’s what happened to the Death Star, now get going.”) But I love the idea of incorporating the Wayfinder itself into those shots! I can totally see it already. Just gotta practice some rotoscoping! Thank you!

Post
#1525272
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP)
Time

Hello! It’s been a full year since I first posted about this project, and I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been very lacking in my updates since then. Given how desperate I’m sure everyone is for news (this is THE most important Star Wars project of all time, I know), that’s a major flub on my part. I’ve never been very good with social media in general; but it’s something I hope to improve for this coming year.

However, just because I’ve disappeared from the public scene, does not mean I’ve abandoned the project - far from it! I’ve actually spent most of the past year chipping away at this edit in my free time. I’ve been splicing new lines of dialogue, building and testing new sequences, sourcing new audio, crafting LUTs, and I’ve even been dabbling with some VFX work, which is all new territory for me. Largely speaking, I’ve been trying to gather all of the pieces I’ll need to assemble this cut of the film, and I do have a lot of them ready at this point! Some of my early tests have been really exciting, and I am hoping to share some of them with you in the coming months.

I’ve also been incredibly lucky in another respect - several members of the community here have expressed a willingness to help me tackle some pieces of this puzzle that are beyond my abilities. I don’t want to name names just yet, because I don’t want to put any undue pressure or obligation on my collaborators; but I would like to express my sincere gratitude for their efforts and their support!

So, where do we go from here? What’s next? I’m still waiting for a few clips from others; but in the meantime, there are still lots of things to work on, lots of sequences to design…and of course, lots of audio to mix along the way! I will sincerely try to crawl out of my little hole more often, and post some actual updates as we move forward with this edit. I’m still not ready to commit to any set release date; but rest assured that the project is NOT abandoned, and that I’m still fully committed to seeing it through. And when we eventually get there, I hope that you’ll all agree it was worth the wait!

If you’ve read this far, thank you so much for taking an interest in this project. Live long and prosper!

Post
#1491725
Topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Time

Woo! Congratulations on completing your Rey Nobody edit, Hal! (And huge kudos to Spence as well.) “At last, the circle is now complete.”

Regarding the continuity issue, personally, I wouldn’t torture yourself over this stuff. Rise of Skywalker itself is basically a conglomeration of retcons held together by plot contrivances and whiz-bang pacing - Lucasfilm clearly isn’t concerned with making sure every single installment fits together perfectly. And besides, your edit doesn’t deny the baby slaughter; it just…neatly sidesteps it.

Post
#1488881
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

Yeah, no, I definitely agree with Kylo’s “lack of faith” in his troops, as you say. I guess I just don’t really see this specific hangar as being super-duper important to the story, so I’m not as concerned with doing so much setup for it. After all, Rey spends all of thirty seconds in there before slipping away through an access tunnel. All that really matters is that they don’t know where she is.

That said, I fully trust your artistic vision, Nev, and I’m sure it’ll all come together beautifully!

Post
#1488567
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

NeverarGreat said:

sherlockpotter said:

I like it a lot - like RL said, the dialogue sounds natural; and I enjoy the subtle reference to the Falcon from the stormtroopers - but (nitpicking) it feels a little awkward to base it all around the one hangar. “Sir, she’s 100% heading for this hangar, no doubt about it!” “Sir, she, uh…she wasn’t there. So most of us left.” “OH WAIT CRAP SHE’S THERE NOW MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!

Maybe make it more vague - “Sir, the prison level is on lockdown. All troops are on alert; she won’t escape.” “Sir, Captain Phasma has ordered a full sweep of the base. She can’t hide forever.” “Sensors triggered in Hangar 718. We’re searching the area.”

The reason I removed the official line (the last suggestion) was because Rey had just escaped the cell and presumably wouldn’t have managed to get to the hangar at that point. I do think it’s important to reference a hangar since the Kylo update 2 implies prior discussion, the question is how best to do that.

“Sir, the only way out of the cell block is through hangar 718. We’re searching the area.”
“The longer it takes to find her, the more dangerous she becomes.”

I don’t think you need to reference a hangar beforehand - honestly, I think that makes things a bit more confusing. If she needs to go through Hangar 718 to escape, why are the First Order even bothering to search for her? Just set up there and cut her off. But then later, Kylo says to put “Every hangar on lockdown,” as if he doesn’t know that she has to go through this one specific hangar. And when “Sensors are triggered in Hangar 718,” it’s just treated as some routine disturbance that a couple of troopers investigate. All three interactions just sort of contradict each other.

Kylo bringing up the hangar in the second conversation just sounds like he’s saying, “Whelp, we didn’t find her yet. What’s her next move going to be? Oh yeah, steal a ship.”

Post
#1488421
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

I like it a lot - like RL said, the dialogue sounds natural; and I enjoy the subtle reference to the Falcon from the stormtroopers - but (nitpicking) it feels a little awkward to base it all around the one hangar. “Sir, she’s 100% heading for this hangar, no doubt about it!” “Sir, she, uh…she wasn’t there. So most of us left.” “OH WAIT CRAP SHE’S THERE NOW MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!

Maybe make it more vague - “Sir, the prison level is on lockdown. All troops are on alert; she won’t escape.” “Sir, Captain Phasma has ordered a full sweep of the base. She can’t hide forever.” “Sensors triggered in Hangar 718. We’re searching the area.”

Post
#1485473
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

NeverarGreat said:

(Rey moves to other levels)
“My Lord, we’ve detected a vessel landing in sector 12, but all ships are accounted for.”
“Put every hangar on lockdown! She’s going to try and steal a ship to escape!”

“Han Solo.”

One little niggle there… doesn’t Han have some line about “If we fly any higher they’ll see us”? So if they were detected anyway, that would mean Han went crashing through the forest for nothing. Maybe something like “Sir, Phasma believes the prisoner may have slipped past us.” “Put every hangar on lockdown…” Or maybe “Sir, a proximity alarm has been set off in Sector 12.” “Put every hangar…” (That way we explain both Kylo’s thought about the hangar, but also his realization that it’s actually Han come to play.)

Or, spitballing here, what if the scenes were rearranged a little, so that Finn and Han have already broken into the base. It cuts from Han shooting that one stormtrooper to the officer telling Kylo, “Sir, blaster fire has been detected on the lower levels.” “Put every hangar on lockdown, she’s going to try and steal a ship to escape.” And then he senses that it’s not Rey firing shots, it’s his pop. That could also add a bit of tension to Han’s stealth mission, knowing that their cover was blown by that shot.

I really like that first bit with the stormtrooper though!