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oojason

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Join date
5-May-2004
Last activity
15-Jan-2026
Posts
9,190

Post History

Post
#105844
Topic
Enterprise Finale
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/105844/action/topic#105844
Time
Despite losing interest afer it's first two seasons - coupled with the poor quailty TNG-retread that was Voyager - I will tune into see this finale when it hits the UK.

Hopefully TIIC at Paramount will give Trek a good long break and have a good look around at the quality shows of new Battlestar Galactica, FireFly and any other new quality sci-fi before releasing a new series.

Cheers for the heads-up JediSage, I probably wouldn't have realised they'd have done the series finale yet if it weren't for this.
Post
#105626
Topic
Star Wars DVD Covers
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/105626/action/topic#105626
Time
cheers m8 - have looked there earlier, though the one I'm after is an amalgamation of those Faces covers - has the Vader (ANH) on the top third, Stormtrooper (ESB) in the middle third, and Yoda (ROJ) on the lower third on the front dvd cover.

Have seen one that was for a 'making of special', though it's the 3disc set cover I'm after.

I'm sure I've seen it around somewhere - just can't remember where...

Post
#105440
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/105440/action/topic#105440
Time

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient #1 what he was doing. The patient replied,

"Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"

The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied,

"Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb."

The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies,

"What? And work in the dark?"
Post
#105439
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/105439/action/topic#105439
Time

In a train carriage there was an Englishman, a Frenchman, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Frenchman had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

The blonde thought - "That French son of a bitch wanted to touch me
and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in
turn must have slapped his face"

The fat lady thought - "This dirty old Frenchman laid his hands on
the blonde and she smacked him".

The Frenchman thought - "That f---ing Englishman put his hand on that
blonde and by mistake she slapped me".

The Englishman thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can
smack that French pratt again."


Post
#105251
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/105251/action/topic#105251
Time

A Catholics daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her,

"Where the hell have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your Mum through??!!"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a
prostitute..."

"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxury fur coat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account certificate for £5 million. For my little brother this gold Rolex, and for you Daddy the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a lifetime
membership to the Country Club...(takes a breath)...an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."

"Now what was it you said you had become?" asks her dad

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad! ... Sniff, sniff"

"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said "a Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug!"

Post
#105118
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/105118/action/topic#105118
Time

A bit of British toilet humour:-

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After lying there for a few minutes the old man farts and shouts, "Goal!" His wife rolls over and asks, "what in the world was that?" The old man says "Goal! I'm ahead 1-0." A few minutes later the wife lets one go and shouts, "Goal! 1-1!" After another 10 minutes, the old man farts again. "Goal! 2-1!" The wife quickly drops another and, starting to enjoy herself, shouts, "2-2!" Not to be outdone, the old man strains as hard as he can to squeeze out the winning fart. Unfortunately he tries just a little too hard and shits the bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" "Half time," replies the old man. "Switch sides..."

Post
#105042
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/105042/action/topic#105042
Time

A woman decides that she's had it with trying to find a decent man in a bar. So she takes out an ad in the paper that says she is seeking a mate who is loyal, rich and a good lover.

After a few days, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and sees a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs.

He says, "I'm here about your ad."
Momentarily taken aback, she says, "Well, how do I know you're loyal?"
"Well, I saved my platoon from the Iraqis in the Gulf. That's where I lost my arms and legs," he replies.
"Well, how do I know you're rich?" she inquires.
"I make over $3 million a year. I have my own software company. You can look at my bank statement," he continues.

Looking him over in his wheelchair, she demands, "Well, how do I know you're a good lover?"
He shrugs, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

Post
#105041
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/105041/action/topic#105041
Time
An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France."

Post
#104848
Topic
bad luck
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/104848/action/topic#104848
Time
cheers lads, am feeling stronger and better as a whole after a very restful weekend.

I think when I get my mouth and nose sorted out at the specialists that'd be a major boost - breathing easy and eating without pain are very underrated things IMHO

The other injuries hardly bother me at all now (still being careful, but not as painful as before).
Post
#104433
Topic
bad luck
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/104433/action/topic#104433
Time
It should be interesting to meet the driver, or hear his account of what happened. I've been told there were a fair few witnesses to the accident - so most peoples' accounts should be very similar to each others. The Police closed the road straight after and did all sorts of tests and evidence marking etc

I hope the driver tells the truth, and this all gets settled quickly. Just want to get, and feel better again - it's gonna take some time, but at least I have some.

Post
#104281
Topic
bad luck
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/104281/action/topic#104281
Time
cheers ric

The driver did stop and the Police have questioned him and are continuing their investigation - there were loads of witnesses about apparently.

I was in and out of conciousness until I was taken away by the ambulance - it seemed like an eternity. What I do remember is a bloke (the driver of the car) telling the paramedic he was travelling at 45mph - I think it was because it was probably important for the paramedic/doctors to know exactly what had happened to me.

Did have very strange mixed feelings on Tuesday evening - I was watching the Liverpool vs Chelsea game from my hospital bed instead of watching it at the stands of Anfield. On one hand I was gutted on missing out on attending such a fantastic occassion and match - the other realising I was lucky to be still here surrounded by so many others in hospital that may not be here much longer...

Other thoughts entered my head too - maybe it WAS lucky that I got hit and NOT a young woman with her child in the pram that safely crossed the same road only minutes earlier. I'm young, still fit(ish) and strong - horrifies me what to think that idiot driver could have done to her and her kid, or an old age pensioner, or the 100's of kids from school that would've used that crossing only an hour later etc

All maybe's, but it's made me realise I got lucky - tomorrow I think I'll get my missus to buy a lottery ticket and see if my good luck is still wth me...


As for the driver - I hope the least that happens is that he loses his driving license.




Post
#104263
Topic
bad luck
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/104263/action/topic#104263
Time
Good luck / Bad luck?

Depending upon how I feel my luck changed somewhat on Friday afternoon last week.

I was run over crossing the road at a pelican crossing (traffic light crossing in the UK) - the lights were on red - by a car doing 45mph - 15mph over the speed limit.

I never saw what hit me, as a bus which had stopped at the crossing to let me across, obsured my view of the car who next to it, who had decided to ignore the law, common sense and any respect for the lives of others and made his own road lane.

The next thing I remember is being being lifted into the ambulance - around 20yards away from the pelican crossing, with some bloke (the driver) of the car that hit me) telling the paramedic that he was only doing 45mph and that I had come out of nowhere and he couldn't see me unitil it was too late.

Today I have been released by the hospital to go back home - along with a broken leg, 3 fractrured ribs, 7 fractures in my shoulder (inluding a brokn clavical), 5 missing teeth, a new weird looking nose, stitches in my mouth, around my mouth, several lacerations, bruises and cuts and a lot of pain.

good luck for me? yes - I'm still alive
bad luck for the driver who hit me? i hope so





Post
#101382
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/101382/action/topic#101382
Time
^ I liked it m8


A housewife took a lover during the day, while her husband was at work, not aware that 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.

The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My dad's outside. I really think you should buy it..."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happened again that the boy and the mom's lover were in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

Man: "How much?"

Boy: "$750."

Man: "Fine."


A few days later, the father said to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go
outside and toss the baseball!"

The boy said, "I can't. I sold them."

The dad asked, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son replied, "$1000."

The father said, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They went to church and the father alerted the priest and made the little boy sit in the confession booth and he then closed the door.

The boy said, "Dark in here..."


The priest said, "Don't start that shit again."
Post
#100814
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/100814/action/topic#100814
Time


DR. DAVE...

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.

No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last.

And you're single. Just let it go..."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering...






...you're a vet.