logo Sign In

oojason

User Group
Members
Join date
5-May-2004
Last activity
1-Dec-2025
Posts
9,063

Post History

Post
#241280
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/241280/action/topic#241280
Time

These are pretty funny until you realize they are part of actual court records...

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place...



ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
ATTORNEY: What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.


Post
#238164
Topic
Good comparison website
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/238164/action/topic#238164
Time
Originally posted by: Star Wars Fanatic
I absolutely love this page:

http://www.dvdactive.com/editorial/articles/star-wars-the-changes-part-one.html

Gives a good detailed comparison of the theatrical, speical edition and dvd versionf of the original trilogy. A good way to see how much better the dvd transfer is as well. There are also articles on The Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi.




The bloke who did all the comparisons is/was a poster on here too

Crackin article - and a lot of work went into it - fair play to the lad



ANH Changes

ESB Changes...

ROTJ Changes

Post
#238136
Topic
BSG
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/238136/action/topic#238136
Time

FULL 2nd season region 2 (PAL) BSG DVD boxset:-

http://www.play.com/DVD/DVD/4-/1021801/Battlestar_Galactica_Season_2/Product.html


woohoo!


(not a bad price either - though this means some careful thinking as to whether to upgrade from my season 2 divx downloads to the official dvds... - hmnnnn....)

Post
#238130
Topic
SUPERMAN RETURNS REVIEW
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/238130/action/topic#238130
Time
Originally posted by: Shark2k
Oh yeah, just remembered, it also seemed like there was a scene or two that just went into the next scene without any transitions. It was like..."How the hell did they get there?" type of thing.

-Shark2k



I was thinking how on earth have I managed to sit through this movie to the very end? (this coming from someone who also stayed to the end of Sccoby Doo - The Movie, yet did walk out of Sccoby Doo - The Movie 2

Post
#238126
Topic
things we Love
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/238126/action/topic#238126
Time
I love...

the fact the new football (soccer to our US friends) season starts soon - the smell of freshly cut grass, the new pitch markings, buying new boots and shinpads, the blood - sweat - tears (and that's just the manager picking the team and omitting the 'lesser abled' players), the realisation that your tema will not win anything this year - like it hasn't done for so many years previously... all good stuff.

'Tis a time of joy