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Dom, thanks for your thoughts behind crawls. This is helping me reshape mine for the better.

jonh this is really coming together beautifully! I did notice when Rey says “I’m all the Jedi” the ghosts are not behind her anymore.

Hal, your sequence would work well too. One thing to consider though, the Poe Finn ad-lib sounding banter about Chewie being 250 years old kind of sucks to actually watch their faces. The clip snooker made where you could hear their dialogue still going on from outside the ship was much more effective though I would have cut it off a bit sooner.

Moving the Falcon chess game to the end is a brilliant idea! Also the coolest transition is from Chewbacca yelling-- to Rey leaving the ship, but this clearly is not working. And another establishing shot is probably not the best way to fix it. The problem going on is there are no audio or visual cues telling us that they’ve landed. We’re watching them play chess on a ship that sounds like it’s cruising through space, then suddenly in the next scene Rey is walking off the ship.

In this rough clip I’ve started with a shot of the Falcon flying and later inside the ship added some sounds and movement giving cues that the Falcon landed:

https://youtu.be/-5iy3sz0e-o

When Merry hugs Klaud vfx a little ass grabbery and have the coneface droid chime in with “happy.”

Hal 9000 said:

Replace D-O with an augmented Rian Johnson voice making meta-comments directly about the movie.

That’s how you should do your commentary track.

Nice looking crawl, Jar Jar Bricks, was this done in blender?

This is the ST so just give Hux boobs.

I’d like Klaud in the film only if someone makes a believable vfx scene where he’s an X-wing pilot getting shot down and exploding. That’s the only Klaud scream I want to hear.

Grevious lied when he said it was a volcanic planet I guess. They could have even added palm trees so I guess we’re lucky.

“I’ve seen better.”
—Jannah the Barbarian

It’s like a drinking game, every time Jannah says something stupid, play Rose’s theme.

Meanwhile Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has traveled to Mustufar to film a music video during his solo tour, on a break from the band Ren and the Knights of Ren.

Sure, everyone on Alderaan dying was just another fakeout. Surprise everyone is alive! That would fit right in with TROS.

Chase, yeah but its not very popular so I have to talk to people here. Anyway the discussion is specifically about the possibilities for a Rey killed her parents edit which Hal is looking into. I take it you don’t like this idea?

Hal, ok I’ll think about that.

EDIT: Also, I did try in the edit process to make Ren say point blank, “you killed your parents.” But I could not find suitable dialogue. So the closest I could come up with what I had was “you wanted your parents dead.” 😕

In anger she basically wished them dead, and so they were.

NeverarGreat I know how you feel. I waited more than 25 years for my favorite book series, the Dark Tower, to become a film. And when it finally did it was a steaming pile of shit.

It’s ok it’s just a movie. You have to stop this wallowing in despair now or forever will it dominate your destiny.

Hal 9000 said:

I can’t help but read it as Rey accidentally killing her parents, similar to what happens with Chewie. She’s frightened, calls out, “Come back! No!”

I guess Unklar Plutt would have just reacted with, “Holy hell! I’m not keeping you where I live. Good luck bringing me shit in exchange for food.”
Unrelated to these events or Rey’s parents per se (since they have no prior connection), Palpatine senses Rey as a powerful person and wants to either put a proactive end to her or bring her to him. Either way, Ochi is sent to find her but ends up dying from a snake because he’s a dumbass. He doesn’t end up killing anyone or anything, just stopping to take a piss and getting killed.

This keeps getting more complicated. Ochi’s ship shouldn’t still exist or look like it does, if Rey destroyed it as her parents tried to leave. If the ship is replaced in TFA’s flashback (and its appearances in TROS), she shouldn’t recognize Ochi’s ship or get a feeling about it.

It was definitely complicated.

But all these issues are addressed in TROS: Resurgence Workprint:

1. Ren tells her “you wanted your parents dead.” So she killed them on purpose or in anger. It wasn’t just an accident.
2. The ship is a standard model ship like an X-wing. I recolored the parents ship green in Rey’s visions. If someone else vfx’s a new ship, even better. Alternatively the flashback clip from TFA could be used since that ship looks different, but adult Rey is in that shot.
3. The parents ship has nothing to do with Ochi’s ship so Rey does not recognize the ship on Pasaana.

The idea here is forgetting the old story and just watching the new one for the first time.

DominicCobb said:

Here’s a rough idea for changing the music in the final scene:
https://vimeo.com/415655381

THAT. LOOKS. GREAT.

Anakin Starkiller said:

My problem with Rey killing her parents is it goes against the idea that she could ever convince herself they’re coming back.

Not really. It’s pretty obvious Rey has repressed childhood memories.

Rogueleader, I like the direction of your ideas. e.g., “The Resistance will fail, and Rey joins Palpatine. Maybe they even see Rey will be the one to kill her friends (with Force lightning).” But this seems something that would have to be decided in the production phase. There’s just not any structure or material to make this happen, I think. Also, I do think ihir_hh’s idea of Rey killing her parents is brilliant, that she crashed their ship. It continues and elaborates on the already established themes and leads us to an unexpected worst case scenario: Rey killed her own parents and then blocked it out and waited her whole life for them to return. Tragic and good storytelling.

idir_hh said:

Yeah but to the average viewer, they look identical from the back.

I recolored the ship in the flashback. But if someone else makes a new vfx shot of a ship leaving, great!

EDIT: These comments are for a Rey killed her parents edit.

RogueLeader said:

The change to “he” to “I” is seamless, well done. Not a critique of your version, but I would like to see a version of that scene without her saying she’ll find and destroy Palpatine, since I think it would work better if Finn’s reply was solely a response to the fact that she killed her parents.

Good idea

Thanks Cameron Samurai, your comments are much appreciated.

The idea behind this is Ren had only been force skyping Palpatine. But once Palpatine threatened him, he went and got the key (wayfinder) to go confront Palpatine.

I’ll consider the changes you suggested and if you think of anything else in light of the above intent, let me know.