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Noah I was able to remove all this banter seamlessly. Trimming it was not so good.

DominicCobb said:

Pacifism is clearly the Jedi ideal. I actually think Rey finding a way to set aside her lightsaber would have been a better resolution, and a more interesting path for her to take the Jedi order in.

Simply being able to kill the big bad guy is terribly unimaginative and un-meaningful as a victory for the character and for the Jedi as a whole.

Maybe we will learn about those ideals in the some upcoming pre-prequels in a galaxy long long long ago. That would be cool. I agree it would be a great direction to set aside the lightsaber.

Nice!

DrDre that’s a different issue you’re bringing up now. Should the brilliant Star Wars writing team have resurrected Palpatine? No. On top of that should they have made Palpatine a key part of the first scenes? Definitely no.

idir_hh If you want to, let me know what you think about dialogue additions such as the ones I listed above. My goals are to:

1. make the KoR menacing
2. hint at their connection to their former Master Skywalker
3. give people a reason to enjoy watching their deaths

As long as no one calls back midichlorians along with vergence.

DominicCobb said:

Okay so she still killed him, just not in the specific way Palpatine wanted. So she won on a technicality. Not really a huge victory for her character though is it?

Failure would have been using the dark side or becoming a Sith, etc. Jedi’s are not pacifists. They all make their own personal handheld decapitation machine. So yes, melting Palpatine’s face off, accomplishing something even Yoda could not do, that’s a huge victory for her character. From scavenger to savior of the Jedi Order.

The comic sucks, and I plan on ignoring its storyline. The KoR in my edit will be the students from the razed Jedi Temple.

Palpatine wanted Rey to complete the silly ritual. She did not do that. And Palpatine was killed from his own lightning directed back into his ugly mug.

I prefer to discuss it here so all the ideas for anyone’s edit are in one place and I or anyone can implement the changes without scrolling through pages and pages of unrelated shite. Feel free, of course, to do as you like though.

I disagree. I personally would like to add new dialogue so the Knights of Ren are more menacing and have some gravitas. Below are a few ideas:

Pasaana Chewie Scene (two KoR watch Chewie in the desert):
Knight A: A friend of Luke’s.
Knight B: I get his teeth.

Kijimi Alley Scene (the KoR pause in an alley just after Rey and the gang passed nearby):
Knight A: No sign of her. No one’s talking.
Knight B: Burn it down. Just like the temple.
Knight C: No. Start killing all the women.

Exegol Ben Fight Scene (the KoR confront a weaponless Ben):
Knight A: Let’s take our time with him.
Knight B: Ready to join your father?

This is a small thread to throw out ideas on how to make the Knights of Ren better in The Rise of Skywalker. . . .

Possible new story goals through added dialogue or otherwise might show the KoR:

1. as more menacing and intimidating
2. hate their former Master Skywalker
3. are force users/force sensitive
4. don’t like Ren’s obsession with Rey

Adding a smiley face after saying something insulting wouldn’t make it a joke and is behavior that is actually passive aggressive in contrast to oojason’s behavior which was not. And if an apology has the word IF in it, it might not be taken as a real apology.

Anakin Starkiller said:

Jonh, please upload your edit of the ghosts to YouTube for everyone to appreciate. It’s cringey seeing fanboys’ poor attempts at doing the same thing. The world deserves to se your version.

Oh and about your new clip you’re not fooling anyone, that’s clearly AotC, but the rest of the scene is good. You’re on the right track!

He’s more than just on the right track. He is steering the whole movie back onto the right track.

EDIT: I suppose you were switching subjects; thought you were referring to jonh material. Yeah idir_hh used the prequel material. I’s very difficult to match the look of that with the sequel trilogy.

Until after Luke cremated him.

wikkid I did a bit more work on the serpent scene. I added the line from Luke, “You went straight to the dark.” Also changed the music the the Old Death Star (alternate). I also cut the Finn nudge to Poe, cut Rey after the vision looking at the snake timidly, and cut her smiling as the snake slithers off.

thanks wikkid!

Option A movement is smoother and the engine light is correct in color for TROS, and I like where the jump starts better.

Option B model looks more solid, might be just a bit too thick though. Engine light should be blue.

Overall, option A.

If you have her say “And I am a Jedi” that would be cool. But I am Jedi would sound like she doesn’t know English (or whatever English is called in a galaxy far far away).

Jonh, I’m removing the line “I am all the Jedi” from my edit. I hate that line, but others might like it so it might be best not to cut anything. But if you choose to remove it based on the presence of the Jedi behind her, I think it works.

Women love high midichlorian counts.

Boolio is an Ovissian. I added it for reasons specific to my edit that I won’t clog up Dom’s thread with.

EDIT: thanks for the feedback maybe it is better removed.

Hal I really like your spark of hope imagery from Poe’s words in TLJ. Using this and also being more cognizant of what a crawl is supposed to accomplish, I updated my draft crawl, as long as you’re ok with others using some of your ideas.

All who dared to speak the name Luke Skywalker are now silent, slaughtered by the merciless KNIGHTS OF REN. Yet across the galaxy the spark of hope still lives on.

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has grown more reckless and unstable. The sudden evacuation of First Order troops from Han Solo’s home world of CORELLIA has spiraled the planet into civil war.

Meanwhile, General Leia Organa senses a sinister presence lurking in the UNKNOWN REGIONS. Many Ovissian spies have died trying to uncover this threat…

Dom, thanks for your thoughts behind crawls. This is helping me reshape mine for the better.

jonh this is really coming together beautifully! I did notice when Rey says “I’m all the Jedi” the ghosts are not behind her anymore.