Wexter

Let us rejoice! The man will only be remembered as the "so dense" guy from RLM reviews :D

Father Skywalker said:

Wexter said:

I would be willing to list 5 reasons why I hate the movie for every single reason why YOU love it, BESIDES the fact that it has gorgeous topless Hayden Christensen in it.

1-it has the "gorgeous, topless, Hayden Christensen" in it, with awesome long-dark brown hair, a beautiful yet evil and young lord darth vader-sounding-ish, voice-all good looks aside, he looked and sounded like a young Darth Vader without the james earl jones robotic cybernetic voice, the robot suit, the samurai helmet, the pale, white skinned-disfigured burned egg-shaped/looking ugly face, (like the Obi-Wan Kenobi said, more machine now than man, he started out as a normal looking-person but became disfigured inside of a suit, which was in the novelizations long before the prequels ever came out),

But rather, an evil creepy sounding charimatic devoted determined, young voice, evil-long dark brown hair like a badass medieval knight (or a heavy metal singer) or an ancient Roman Warrior, and long black robes of a dark lord of the sith. He just had that perfect evil-looking face, if not a beautiful handsome evil looking face.

2- Padme Amidala is Force Choked by Darth Vader, not an military imperial admiral/officer, but Luke and Leia skywalker's pregnant mother on a volcano planet being force-choked by young pre-suit Darth Vader, which means that darth vader also indirectly force choked his children too!!!!!

3-Anakin skywalker's turn to the darkside to save luke and leia's pregnant mother from some kinda pregnancy childbirth death. It made Darth Vader more humanlike.

4-The part where darth vader slaughters the entire seperatist council on Mustafar, and how Darth Vader actually cries about it afterwards, showing the good in him, and the conflict with him....

5-the march on the jedi temple was just pure plain epic awesomeness and godlike-style kickass

6-the sad music that played when the jedi were all killed off

7-the homages

Okay, I am going to keep my promise, but then I will follow Jaitea's advice and never ever respond to you again, because now I am sure you must be trolling, until now I was willing to consider the fact that you were dropped on your head as a child. Repeatedly.

1.1 - I think the Anakin character is one of the main reasons the prequels didn't work at all. Of course the character was terribly written, but a showroom dummy would have played the part better than Hayden. He only has 3 faces to put on in episode 2 and learns one more in the next one. Darth Vader was intimidating. I would probably laugh in his face if he was portrayed like this. Tommy Wiseau could have performed the role better. You would like him, he has long dark hair and muscles.

1.2 - The characters are terrible in general. Nobody is acting like an actual human being in this movie.

1.3 - People tend to like episode 3 because it has a lot of stuff going on. That may be true, but thanks to that it all feels rushed.

1.4 - Not only does this movie have way too much story to tell, that can be blamed on the lack of story progress in the previous two, but it actually builds unnecessary subplots (eg. general Grievous, Darth Plagueis), so there is even less space to develop what is actually important for the story.

1.5 - It tries to make up for the bad storytelling by silly action sequences that make no sense and since they were done strictly by CGI, look mostly ridiculous by now.

2.1 - The film tries to be way too epic for a third installment in a six-part saga. Story-wise it sucks, of course, but visually, it attempts to overshadow all the other films, making sure that even a dozen more Special Editions in, the following three filsm from 1970s/80s would never look like they belong to the same series.

2.2 - Since everything happens so fast, the turn to the dark side is abrupt and makes little sense. Anakin comes out really stupid out of this one.

2.3 - The film ends so that at the very last minute everything gets to the exact same spot we find it two decades later. That feels very sloppy.

2.4 - Once Anakin turns to the dark side, there is no conflict in him, he just decides to be a giant asshole and really enjoy it. He even strangles Padme, who has been the reason he went this far and apparently is not even aware of this, because when he gets in the armor, he needs to be reminded of that.

2.5 - Pretty much all the characters are unlikable, I know nothing is black and white but everyone behaves like a complete idiot, especially the Jedi who are supposed to be the heroes in this move!

3.1 - The obligatory space battle is confusing. Neither side is trying to win it, they are just showing off their weaponry. Also, what was Grevous' plan? Take Palpatine to the orbit and sit there? I suppose so, since he makes no effort to flee and he cannot seriously consider to take over the Republic's capital (which barely notices there is a war going on!).

3.2 - The lightsaber duels, especially the one on Mustafar, are terrible! Again, they are not fighting to defeat the opponent, but to show off!

3.3 - The transition from Republic to Empire was laughably smooth.

3.4 - Padme loosing will to live was just a stupid tool of removing a character that fulfiled her purpose of giving birth to the characters of the good trilogy.

3.5 -This may be partly because we know the story of the original trilogy already, but the movie fails to build a tension. The characters and even nations are so unlikable that I really don't care about what will happen to them.

4 - No way I am going to acknowledge your point no. 4, since you just made that up. Anakin never ever doubts his decision. He doesn't cry, he just looks to the cammera to look good in the trailer and make weirdos like you dripping wet.

5.1 - While John Williams is a true master of his craft and i cannot blame him for the failure that these movies were, I can hardly recall any piece of music that was specific to episode 3 that really got my attention. This surely cannot be said for the original trilogy or even The Phantom Menace.

5.2 - Why exactly did Yoda need to go to exile? I can think of number of things he may have been doing to sabotage the empire, without risking his life (supporting the rebellion groups for example).

5.3 - The only group of scenes that showed that there actually was an opposition to the completely stupid policy of Palpatine eventually ended on the cutting room floor. But perhaps they thought that it is no big harm, since besides the three scenes, this subplot really goes nowhere (unless is even more material I am not aware of).

5.4 - "He is too dangerous to be kept alive!" - I know this was a plot device, but it is SO out of character for a high ranking Jedi Knight.

5.5 - "There are heroes on both sides." - Ermm... what? Is Dooku a hero? Surely not. Girevous? Or the battledroids?

6.1 - The movie had an opportunity to show the demise of the Jedi order. Instead we get like three short death scenes of some of the characters that were fortunate enough to get a name and a shot of sir psycho sexy leading an army of man-robots to beat up some kids in a temple.

6.2 - Obi-Wan riding a large lizard. Just because he can.

6.3 - The suggested reference to Anakin's midichlorian origins are never resolved and it is not ambiguous in a good way, it just seems like an unfinished plot point.

6.4 - Why did Yoda give up the fight? Because he fell of a platform once? Overall, he had the upper hand....

6.5 - Qui-Gon is referenced, but it seems like a way to make sure his character was not completely redundant to begin with, but also to explain (or rather suggest) the force-ghost thing, which they forgot about during the last two movies.

7.1 - Comparing this movie to the original trilogy makes me angry. It is hardly even the same genre. The cinematography is like a day and night.

7.2 - I mentioned stupid and lazy writing but it doesn't even attempt to keep the secret of Vader's identity or even the twins twist, both of which were mind-blowers back in the day.

7.3 - The cult status of this movie annoys me. Just because it is tad better than the last one (small achievement, considering that one was one of the worst movies of all times), everyone seems to think of it as "the good prequel". It isn't, for reasons to support this I would refer you to the previous paragraphs or to an opinion of pretty much any person with at least half a brain.

7.4 - If it didn't have "Star Wars" in its title, I would never be interested in watching such a terrible mess of a movie.

7.5 - I wish it didn't have "Star Wars" in its title.

Father Skywalker said:

Puggo - Jar Jar's Yoda said:

Father Skywalker said:

Episode 3 kicked some serious ass!!!!!
                    kiss my

fixed :)

please list at least 10 reasons why U hate star wars episode 3-the revenge of the sith.........

Look who's talking.

I would be willing to list 5 reasons why I hate the movie for every single reason why YOU love it, BESIDES the fact that it has gorgeous topless Hayden Christensen in it.

See, I told you this guy was totally not an adjective.

Father Skywalker said:

Hayden christensen's face is just  so beautiful!!!!!!

Ooh!!!!!

 

Prove it!!!!!!!

Father Skywalker said:

Episode 3 kicked some serious ass!!!!!

Guys, is it safe to assume that Han Solo suffered from a severe case of constipation???????????????? I mean I have not once seen him take a dump and we follow his character for some four years. No wonder he seems so tired by the end of "Star Wars Episode 6: Return Of The Jedi".

At least we have the hot'n'sexy long-haired muscle-bound Hayden Christensen to look forward to in that movie, right????????????

Father Skywalker said:

Tyrphanax said:

As long as they re-release the unaltered, theatrical trilogy so I can watch it, they can put ol' sexy long-haired Hayden Christensen in every scene for all I care.

No, not in every scene. Just in relevant parts. Like, for instance, edit out sebastian shaw's voice during the scene where luke unmasks his dying father anakin skywalker, and replace it with hayden christensen's voice, like make hayden christensen talk in a very low, weak, monotone voice like anakin did in ROTJ......

Now, that would be sexy. I would watch that with my shirt off.

Father Skywalker said:

Can we just get back on topic and discuss the title of this thread???

Sure.

I think it is a decent title. A bit too long, with at least one too many question marks, but hey, you don't see this kind of titles here nowadays. I give it 3 out od 4.

adywan said:

Damn, i wanted one of those so bad when i was a kid. I'd heard about them but never saw one for ages. I was able to get one of the original un-produced Darth Back soap sets. I just loved the tag line on the boxes; " Wash your back with Back". I can't believe that i managed to get this thing in its original condition for just over £1 at a car boot sale. I've seen these things going for hundreds on ebay now.

Actually, that tagline is a work of genius. Made my day. I mean - to read it again after all those years.

;-)

Father Skywalker said:

TV's Frink said:

You're funny.

So is george carlin, too bad i found out about him not even half a year after he died...... I hate finding out about somebody just a little bit too late!!!!!!

Yeah, imagine all the fun you two could have had together....

I know this is not a place to advertise, but I have a collection of 19 mint-condition Darth Back live-action figures with accessories and sets for sale at a reasonable price. If anyone is interested, please, PM me.

Yeah, me too, it was called Tales From The Empire - a short story collection.  

Grand Moff Tarkin actually did survive the explosion. I remember reading a book about that. When the Death Star attack commenced, Tarkin, an old war hero, was shocked to see the troops die once more like in his old days. He reconsidered his career with the Empire and as everyone was too busy with the battle, he packed his stuff and hid in the Death Star basement, which is where he survived the explosion. He then took a cab home and retired on the beaches of Utapau.

The person we see right before the explosion is in fact Tarkin's bodyguard/body-double known simply as Billy. Apparently he did not survive the explosion but the evidence from last year's season of Clone Wars seems to suggest that he may have been saved as well.

Wait, are you telling me, that my nearly complete collection of Darth Back action figures is not authentic? But surely the "Darth Back's castle on Kashyyyk" model must be genuine. Most of the money my parents saved for my college went into that collectible.

Father Skywalker said:

Wexter said:

Father Skywalker said:

I aint sure if cloning is immoral or moral, that depends on what the laws/government says and what your religion says.....

Then i am glad we have the constitution and The Bible, otherwise I would just walk around killing people without thinking twice about that.

Cloning is not immoral in and of itself (by that logic, having twins and triplet babies is immoral and evil and wrong!!!!!); it's is only wrong if it violates the laws and rules of the nation/country that you live in, or it goes against your faith or spirituality or religion the god that you love and trust and believe in.........

I appreciate your sarcasm though!!!!!

I am just saying that the idea of manufacturing human beings for fighting and dying in battles would not generally be considered alright. It is a prime example of how the prequel star wars galaxy (and apparently you as well) is removed from general humanity and common sense.

Father Skywalker said:

I aint sure if cloning is immoral or moral, that depends on what the laws/government says and what your religion says.....

Then i am glad we have the constitution and The Bible, otherwise I would just walk around killing people without thinking twice about that.

Father Skywalker said:

Wexter said:

Pffffffss... blonde Natalie Portman. What's next, yellow Sam L. Jackson?

Stop making racist jokes!!!!

Now listen, you stop telling me what I can or cannot say. I wasn'? being racist in any way. Would this joke be okay if Samuel L. Jackson was caucasian? Well, he happens to be black.

Viva political correctness. Now we have African-American Jedi Knights.

Father Skywalker said: 

I'm am still very confused on why you dislike the prequels..... 3 of my friends are prequel-fans....2 of them love all of the prequels equally, one of them says that he loves episode 3 but he finds episodes 1 and 2, as just merely ok, and meh......Do you hate/dislike the prequels trilogy because they ruined the mystery of the originals trilogy??? Do you believe that the prequels trilogy was ireedemable, and regardless of how it could have been better or improved, it's existence, is, in and of itself, bad, and it ruins the originals????  

RESPONSE: 

I believe the prequel trilogy could have been done well, but it would require some clever, inspired and creative writing. Unfortunately, the only creative impulse that went into the writing process was "faster, more intense!". Then there was the execution. The actors were mediocre to terrible, the effects were done mostly digitally, which may have been a great idea back then, but now they mostly seem terribly dated. And that is just scratching the surface.

Father Skywalker said:
The noble Old Republic used armies of clones; why is that wrong???  

RESPONSE:
Is this even a serious question? How about the same reason we haven't yet cloned a human being? Because it doesn't seem right. Basically the Clone Wars were about Republic pitting their artificially manufactured disposable human beings against the armies of disposable machines. And everyone was so degenerated that it didn't even strike them as a moral dilemma. Now if "Clone Wars" (which was established as soon as Episode IV) was in fact about this dilemma - and the bad guys would be in favor of such policy - that would make an interesting conflict.

Father Skywalker said:

I worded my opinion the wrong way, I apologize, not for offending anybody here, but for my own stupidity in expressing my opinion (s).........

I meant, I enjoy the original trilogy far more knowing the storyline of the prequel trilogy, knowing that the two are connected to each other; on their own they're are nowhere near as awesome as they are combined, on its own the Original trilogy is awesome, yes, I didn't mean to deny that..........

 

You didn't offend me, just saying that knowing the so-called backstory may actually make me enjoy the originals less. Just from the top of my head - Darth Vader was actually originaly a whiny idiot, the noble Old Republic used cloned armies to fight their war for them. I prefer to purge every memory of the prequels from my head before watching the original trilogy. 

Father Skywalker said:

Did he survive the explosion of the second death star or not???

Of course he did, he is made of naquadah.

Father Skywalker said:

In my opinion, you people are all very biased against the prequels because you are very nostaglic about the good ol days of the originals trilogy; however, in my opinion, neither trilogy is all that good on its own, but when combined together, the star wars saga and series is awesome and it's is my favorite science fiction/sci-fi story of all time!!!!

OK, I gotta be serious for a moment, because I strongly disagree. While the movies may not be flawless, the original trilogy works perfectly on its own. On the other hand, if it weren't for the OT, a decade later the prequels would be completely forgotten, or at best remembered as an example of terrible blockbusters, such as Battlefield Earth or The Independence Day. 

Pffffffss... blonde Natalie Portman. What's next, yellow Sam L. Jackson?

Father Skywalker said:

Wexter said:

I think it is because the first three films ("Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace", "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of The Clones" and "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith"), are kinda tragic.

Why??

Because he (Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight) is like this super smart child who destroys the droid control ship and then he falls in love and goes evil and kills children and makes the love of his life lose the will to live and then he is in this armor and can hardly breath and he doesn't even know he has two children (he will find out about this in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back).

Sorry for the spoilers, all.

I think it is because the first three films ("Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace", "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of The Clones" and "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith"), are kinda tragic.

Father Skywalker said:

Ok, now I kinda understand it. ""Star Wars" is another name/word for star wars episode 4-a new hope; being that it was originally intended to be one movie, rather than an entire saga and series, the first one got the nickname "star wars", and just "star wars"......

I know, it's a neat little story, innit? I mean to nickname "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope" just "Star Wars"... It's like they didn't know about "The Tragedy Of Darth Vader" back then. And then when "Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back"  came everyone would be like "WHAAAAAAT...?" because they thought they missed something.

But they didn't, becuz "Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back" is the direct sequel to "Episode IV: A New Hope", if you disregard the EU (Expanded Universe).