Wannabe Scholar

Okay, there have been many interpretations of the Force and how its used. Many EU sources have the Force split between Light and Dark, though the OT (and even in the actual PT) only mentioned just the Force and the Dark Side.

I’m mentioning this because I’m curious how to show the Jedi’s views on the Force, as well as those outside of the Jedi (Dark Jedi, Sith, etc). I have seen one version where the Jedi have multiple views in “The Fall” by Khyron42, but it’s not that many. Also, I’ve notice few, if any, have kept the OT’s version of the Force.

So, which interpretation do you plan to use? How will your Jedi see the Force? How will the villains and non-Jedi (including non-Force-sensitives) see the Force? I’d like to hear your answers. Thanks.

Hey guys. It’s been a REALLY long time since I touched this. I’m going to reworking the plot details for these stories. Episodes 2 and 3 will mostly stay the same, but Episode 1 will change drastically. I’ll put that up hopefully this weekend. For now, enjoy this little preview I’ve written so far for Episode 1. Please let me know what you think about it. Thanks.

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Shmi panted as her feet clapped on sand and rock. Tatooine’s twin suns bore down on her from high above, its heat entering through the many tears in her rags. Her skin and hair perspired and stained the already-smelling fabric with stink of sweat. She eyed the formation up ahead of her that grew, turning into a large dune.

It was only a few steps away when Shmi let her sore legs give way onto the ground. She scooted under the dune’s shade and sat there, giving in to her tired body. Already, her feet swelled, her chest pounded, and her lungs wheezed. Shmi wondered if she could go on, let alone go any faster.

Through her pains, Shmi heard a small voice whisper, “Mom?”

She let out a few pants before she finally managed to ask, “Yes?”

“Will be at Mos Espa, soon?”

Shmi glanced to her boy clinging close to her. Though the rags covered his face, those beautiful blue eyes stared at her, and her heart sunk seeing the fear in them.

Shmi hugged her son and rested her chin atop of his scalp. She whispered back in a soothing tone, “Don’t worry. Mos Espa’s not fair away now. We’ll be there soon.”

While her son looked away, Shmi’s heart ached. It hurt to lie to her child. It hurt more that he saw the truth behind it. He always had that way with her, bless him.

He had to be given some hope, something to keep him calm. The port city of Mos Espa was still a long ways away, and running for so long and so fast in broad daylight left Shmi’s body taxed. Though she wasn’t as fast or strong as the other slaves, she kept her son and herself safe. Now, all she wanted to do was rest.

When Shmi’s pains slowly went away, small hands tightly gripped at her tunic. “Mom! It’s them!” she heard.
Shmi’s mind rang in alarm. Already? She thought she lost their trail awhile back. “Wait here,” Shmi said and rose on her sore feet to leave the boy alone.

She peeked over the dune’s edge to see a large creature, a Bantha, slowly trail it wooly body on the desert. Its tusks stuck out threateningly, much like its riders with their desert robes, rifles and gaffi sticks.
Sand People, Shmi fearfully recognized. The feared natives of Tatooine often hunted the ‘invaders’ of their planet, which happened to include the two humans hiding at the dune.

There was only one, fortunately. Its bandaged-wrapped face and goggles turned right and left, but nowhere in the direction of Shmi, her son, and the dune they hid by.

She retracted back into the dune, back to her boy. “Mom, they’re…”

Shmi cut him off. “I know. We have to run now. Can you make it?” A nod answered her. “Good. We’re going!” She grabbed the little hand into hers, and began to run…

I've been doing some thinking, and I have this idea where the main focus is not Obi-Wan or Anakin, but Owen. 

We already know much about Anakin and Obi-Wan, and using them over and over again can get repetitive. Owen doesn't have much aside from being the uncle who dies in ANH, but his connection to Obi-Wan and Anakin does make up for it. 

Going off of old ideas, I imagine Owen as Obi-Wan's brother. He can either not have the Force or not be strong in it, but he's ultimately a starship captain who's witnessing and adapting to the changing times.

My main trio in this case would be Owen, Beru, and Obi-Wan (acting as the Luke, Leia and Han). At first, the story would be them dealing with the Clone Wars as Obi-Wan begins to taken Anakin under his wing. Then, skip to after the Clone Wars, when Owen sees the Empire's rise and helps Obi-Wan escape the Jedi purge, while unaware of Anakin's fate. Owen would slowly but surely become the uncle due to the things he had seen in both the war and the Empire.

So what do you guys think? Does it have any merit? Does anything need to be improved upon? I'd like to hear. Thank you.

I've been doing some thinking, and I have this idea where the main focus is not Obi-Wan or Anakin, but Owen. 

We already know much about Anakin and Obi-Wan, and using them over and over again can get repetitive. Owen doesn't have much aside from being the uncle who dies in ANH, but his connection to Obi-Wan and Anakin does make up for it. 

Going off of old ideas, I imagine Owen as Obi-Wan's brother. He can either not have the Force or not be strong in it, but he's ultimately a starship captain who's witnessing and adapting to the changing times.

My main trio in this case would be Owen, Beru, and Obi-Wan (acting as the Luke, Leia and Han). At first, the story would be them dealing with the Clone Wars as Obi-Wan begins to taken Anakin under his wing. Then, skip to after the Clone Wars, when Owen sees the Empire's rise and helps Obi-Wan escape the Jedi purge, while unaware of Anakin's fate. Owen would slowly but surely become the uncle due to the things he had seen in both the war and the Empire.

So what do you guys think? Does it have any merit? Does anything need to be improved upon? I'd like to hear. Thank you.

Frey said:

eldar360 said:

A little bit late, but this thread (http://boards.theforce.net/threads/literature-project-the-clone-wars-dossier.3648410/) compiled before AOTC has every reference to the Clone Wars in the EU before the PT.

 Linky no worky.

 Right here. http://boards.theforce.net/threads/literature-project-the-clone-wars-dossier.3648410/

That's an interesting idea. Anakin's upbringing does have some other details I've seen (abusive father), but it does have enough originality to keep me invested. It's not too different then someone famous having their name changed to make it more catchy. 

If you read The Fall, the Jedi are basically given a new name after becoming a Knight. It's just another thing I like about this. 

Honestly, I grew up with the PT, so I'm used to seeing Hayden. However, I can imagine an Anakin similar to TCW, since he fitted more of the Anakin that was generally on everyone's mind, both his image and character.

I have seen other people try to reimagine Anakin something more like a younger Sebastian Shaw (both here and here). I do find it interesting and I think it would be awesome, but I'm not sure how it would work exactly.

Alright, here's a small preview of my story. It's not much, but I'd like to know what you guys think about it.  Please leave some comments. Thank you.

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“M’lady?” a voice called out.

Padme snapped back to reality and she found herself staring at a blue expanse with tiny dots of white flickering. The blurry vision focused and the blue turned into a lake glimmering with the light of the morning sun. More rays passed through the window and illuminated on to her white gown. Out of the corner of her eye, Padme noticed the large arches and columns lined against the walls.

Where was she? It certainly wasn’t the Theed Palace. No, the ball had been a year ago. Oh yes, Varykino–her family’s retreat in Naboo’s Lake Country!

With her father’s permission, Padme came here to have some time away from the large crowds of Naboo’s royal palace and work on the upcoming party to house for the king and his advisor. That had been the excuse.

“M’lady, are you alright?” called out the same voice from before, timid and soft.

Padme turned away from the window to a human girl who had joined in the long, airy hall. “Oh Teckla,” she said, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

Teckla bowed her capped head then spoke with a thick accent deemed her of Naboo’s lower-class. “I apologize, but I came to see you. I didn’t realize you were busy,” she said.

Padme spared a small smile. “It’s fine. My mind was… somewhere else. Now, you wanted to see me?”

Teckla’s tan face brightened at the reminder. “Ah, yes! I have something for you.”

Her hand went inside the thick blue folds of her dress, and a moment later, Padme’s eyes fell on a pair of clear, cylindrical crystals in Teckla’s palm. Lines ran over the transparent faces in circuit like patterns that made the crystals not mere ones. “When did they come in?” Padme quickly asked, glancing back with slight surprise.

“Just now, m’lady. A Bothan gentlemen came by and requested I give this to you.”

“I see…”  Padme paused for a moment. “Thank you, Teckla.”

She took the crystals in her own hand and kept them hidden in her red sleeve. Striding across the veranda’s marble floor, she reached the entrance when Teckla began again, “M’lady…”

Padme stopped and turned to Teckla, seeing concern in those familiar blue eyes. “Yes?”

The servant girl hesitated before she continued, “May I ask just what the message is? You seem to be getting more of them recently.”

“They’re nothing to worry about. Just some private messages.”

“But with the war going on, I’ve been wondering just what–”

“I said they’re nothing to worry about,” Padme cut her off, more forcibly. She spoke again, calmer than before, “You should get some rest. You’ve had a long day.”

Teckla conceded with a sigh and bowed again. “Yes, m’lady,” and she walked passed her mistress without any answers.

When Teckla was out of sight, Padme slightly chastised herself for her harshness. Teckla was merely curious, just like Padme herself had been not too long ago. It was only natural to ask after going on her mistress’ “errands” and receiving these strange messages. Now, Padme knew there was nothing to do about it, so she silently walked down the halls with her gown dragging on the marble floor.

Varykino, Padme found, was the perfect place to be alone. It was situated many klicks away from Theed and the prying eyes of the king’s handmaidens and advisors. The calm air and beautiful lake always cleared Padme’s thoughts, and she always carried many memories of many vacations with families and friends.

That had been before the Clone Wars. Before Naboo declared its independence from the Republic. 

Hey guys. I've looking at quite a few PT rewrites recently and I've noticed there are a lot of them out there. Some of them generally stick to the actual PT and change characters and settings, while others have genuinely new ideas that stand out.

Everyone has their own version of the PT, me included. However, there are a lot of them (sometimes too many) and I sometimes feel these rewrites can be a little repetitive at times.

So, I want to put this out: Which one do you think is THE rewrite for people to look at? It doesn't have to be completed but it has to be interesting enough to pull in an audience. It can even be your own (if you can back it up). My personal favorite is David Gremillion's PT because it has an Anakin a little closer to the impression we got from the OT and it incorporates a lot of elements from the EU all the while keeping similar ideas of the PT movies in the plot.

Now, I don't mean to create any competition or animosity. I'm just curious because there are so many people with their own ideas and I feel its can be a little jumbled. Personally, I'd like to see what would happen if  all those ideas came together (and it might in the future).

I'd like to know what your thoughts are. Thanks.

Alright, since we're all writing our own versions of the prequels, I thought I just bring this up. Obviously, we got our own different ideas for characters. 

Let's take Obi-Wan and Anakin. We've all seen the brash, headstrong, and confident Anakin Skywalker along with a more cautious Obi-Wan Kenobi. This is not only the actual PT but in other PT rewrites. Certain stories just follow the basic idea with small changes here and there, or do something completely different, or something in the middle, like Khyron42's The Fall, which probably has my favorite interpretation of Obi-Wan (apologies to DuracellEnergizer and CWBorne).

Now, I'm not saying it's a bad thing (heck I'm using that in my version). I'm just wandering about different interpretations of certain SW characters you will use in your PT rewrites. 

Which interpretation that you've seen is more unique from others? What about your interpretation of certain characters make them distinct from the rest? And it can include anyone (from cartoons, comics, novels, etc.): Bail Organa, Amidala, the Sith, the Jedi, the Jensaarai, anyone! 

That's all for now. I'd like to know what you guys think. Thanks.

Okay, with the many prequel rewrites out there, I've noticed each one bases their stories and concepts from different sources of Star Wars and non-Star Wars media. Some are more based on the PT, taking away some of the stuff that didn't work (like belatedmedia's videos). Other rewrites take sources from the EU while others just use the OT, like The Fall-A Fresh Take on the Clone Wars (which is pretty good-seriously, check it out!). 

For me, I'm keeping my story, The Dark Times, as an AU of the PT expanded universe. For this, I've kept much of the elements of the PT (the Jedi not marrying, Naboo, Kaminoans, etc.) but I've also used this to incorporate elements from 90's SW Bantam books (Clone Masters, Spaarti clones, the Clone Wars being more than just a few years). 

As for non-Star Wars Media, I've been thinking of using elements from Arthurian legend used in film (e.g. Knights of the Round Table and the dynamic between Arthur, Lancelot, and Guinevere). I thought it be easier to use as Anakin can been seen as a combination of Lancelot and Mordred.

What sources would you use for your rewrite? Would it be more of the Expanded Universe (now "Legends") or would it be something completely different? I'd like to know. Thanks.

Hey guys. Here's some character info and a timeline for my story. Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

Main Cast:

Anakin Skywalker - son of the Jedi Master Qui-Gon, training under Obi-Wan in the Clone Wars. He knows little of his father as Qui-Gon left him after his birth to help the Republic. He's the main character, as we see his fall to the Dark Side. Studying under Obi-Wan, he learns of combat and battle tactics to be employed on the field of battle.

Vader - A being cloned from the corpse of Xanatos, the founder of the Clone Masters and ex-pupil of Qui-Gon. He was made to fight for the Republic, but he's found by Obi-Wan and taken in as his student. He's sometimes at odds with Anakin, and he has a strange relationship with the Jedi Council, who ordered him to hide his identity as a clone from anyone. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi - After being abandoned by Qui-Gon, he becomes the student of the former Grandmaster, Yoda. During the Clone Wars, he trains Anakin after discovering him on Galidraan, and soon discovers and trains Vader. Being trained more by Yoda, he's more insightful and a little calculating of battles while rushing to help people. 

Padme Amidala - a noble of Naboo, a planet that seceded from the Republic. Though her planet is independent, she's a secret spy for Bail Organa and shares a secret friendship with Anakin that grows into their marriage.

Cody - a clone of Jango Fett in the Republic army. He serves more as the Chewie of the group, but provides insight on the roles of clones in the Republic.

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44 BBY – After the massacre of the True Mandalorians on Galidraan, Dooku learns the massacre had been a deception. He leaves the Jedi Order and becomes the count of his homeworld, Serenno. Many other Jedi follow suit, many of them once part of Dooku’s strike team on Galidraan. Among the Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn goes into self-exile, which takes him to meeting Shmi Skywalker on Tatooine. The two fall in love and marry. Later in the year, the two would have a son named Anakin.

In light of the many deserters, Yoda steps down from the council and trains a master-less Obi-Wan.

42 BBY – Many of the Jedi deserters have spread across the Outer Rim. Some have fallen and taken control of crime organizations while others have sided with independent planets. Fear of these rogue Jedi forces Outer Rim worlds to turn to cloners for soldiers.

            Qui-Gon leaves his wife and returns to the Jedi to deal with this.

41 BBY – The fallen Jedi and Qui-Gon’s ex-pupil, Xanatos, gathers many cloners and forms the Clone Masters. Many of the fallen Jedi join Xanatos, and fear of the Jedi grows both in and out of the Republic. 

37 BBY – The Outbound Flight is sent out to the Unknown Regions and disappears. The outcry leads to building armies; the Republic recruiting while the Clone Masters clone their soldiers.

Hearing intelligence information on Xanatos trying to clone himself, Qui-Gon intervenes and duels his former apprentice. The two die from their wounds, but Qui-Gon manages to tell the Jedi of his son on Tatooine. Meanwhile, Xanatos’ corpse is hidden and some of his DNA is taken to be copied 

With Xanatos’ death, the Clonemasters attack the Republic, beginning the Clone Wars. 

36 BBY – Vader is birthed from Xanatos’ DNA on Telos IV and is watched by Atha Prime’s subordinates. Meanwhile, the Republic commissions Kamino’s cloners to clone soldiers.

35 BBY – The war goes on at a stalemate (with battles like Honoghr), the Jedi intervene but restrict it to Jedi Knights and Masters. Padawans have been forbidden from the front lines.

34 BBY – Obi-Wan is knighted, and goes to serve on Alderaan, where he joins Bail Organa’ military company with the Clone Commander Cody.

33 BBY – Seeing the Republic fail, many of the Mid and Outer Rim worlds secede to become neutral in the war, including Naboo.

32 BBY – With the Clone Wars going on, crime increases on Tatooine and many hide away on Galidraan. Among the refugees are the Skywalkers and the Lars families, the latter being helped by (their long-lost relative?) Obi-Wan Kenobi. There, Anakin meets Hondo Ohnaka.

31 BBY – Shmi Skywalker dies and Anakin is taken in the Lars family. He begins working for Hondo, honing his pilot skills.

30 BBY – The Republic invade of the Clone Master base on Cartao, scattering the Clone Masters. It is the turning point of the war as the Republic has captured Atha Prime, the lead of the Clone Masters.

29 BBY – On Galidraan, Anakin joins the military, lying about his age (limit is 17, he’s 15/16). Owen tries to stop him with Obi-Wan’s help, but Obi-Wan notices Anakin’s potential and offers to train him.

28 BBY – During a military mission, Obi-Wan and Anakin discover Vader in a cloning facility on Telos IV. Vader is trained Obi-Wan, as the Jedi are low in their numbers. However, the council has Vader hide his identity as a clone.

27 BBY – Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Vader arrive at a peace conference on Naboo. During the conference, Anakin meets and befriends a Naboo noblewoman, Padme Amidala.

26 – Obi-Wan and his pupils save the planet of Skye from the Clone Masters, and they go on to Bpfassh to deal with rumors of a Jedi uprising.

Here, our story begins…

Alright, there are many elements/opportunities that the prequels missed and seeing how this is forum on PT rewrite, I want to go over them.

Here's my personal list that I plan to use:

1) Technological difference between the OT and the PT rewrites. We see this is in things, like ship designs and whatnot, but in the actual PT, we don't really see it that well as everything is so clean and tip-top when compared to the dirt of the OT.

2) Tarkin and Dooku in the same trilogy. Both are sophisticated and powerful gentlemen and can work well off each other and/or against each other when pitted against each other in the Clone Wars. It would do well to commemorate their actors, who were good co-workers friends. Plus, it'd be Van Helsing vs. Dracula in Star Wars. 

3) The obscurity of the Jedi. According to Rebels Recon for "Rebel Resolve," it was said the Jedi were few and mainly known by the public through legends and history books. This can lead to why people don't believe in the Force, etc. I'm still working on how to do it.

4) Bail Organa and the formation of the Rebel Alliance. This one pretty obvious, so I don't need to go into detail.

That's all I have for now. What ideas would you use that the actual PT missed? Please let me know. Thanks!

“For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times. Before the Empire.”

– Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Before the Empire, the Republic was engulfed in the fires of the Clone Wars; before the exiles and outcasts, the famed Jedi Order faced strife from within; before Darth Vader, a single Jedi faced the trials of his time.  

Hey guys. Recently, I've been coming up with different PT rewrites and there are too many of them to work on at once, so I've decided to combine them. 

This PT rewrite is to be told in one story, spread across 6-7 years in three parts. It begins from the final months of the Clone Wars to the end of the Jedi of the Jedi. Anakin will be the main character and you'll see more of his fall to the Dark Side. 

Much of the elements come from one rewrite, The Dark Times (which I took the name from), my "Dying Torch" idea, the Bantam Era books, TCW, and others. Also, the story is much more of an AU of the current legends continuity that took place prior to the actual PT. You might see why later on.

BTW, here's the opening crawl. Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

It is period of strife for the galaxy. Fifteen years ago, Master Dooku deserted the Republic after the massacre of the True Mandalorians, taking with him a number of Jedi and lending their service to criminal groups and corrupt worlds. 

They lent their services to the multiple criminal organizations and corrupt worlds, each one seeking to extend their control with clone soldiers. The Republic soon formed its own army to bring an end to the threat of these ‘Clone Masters,’ gaining support from a divided Jedi Order.

For ten years, the Clone Wars were battled on the outlying systems while the Core Worlds watched with fear. Now, the Republic seeks to push their foes back, unleashing attacks on their cloning facilities while the Jedi capture their former comrades…

Hey guys. I'm just putting this up because I've decided to discontinue with the story idea. I've been mixed up with other PT rewrites I've been working on, so I decided to stop working on them and just combine them into one fic. I'll be posting that idea shortly. Thanks.

nic777 said:

Mrebo said:

nic777 said:

Putting Obi-Wan as the focus of the PT means an abrupt shift by ep4. Because ANH is Luke's journey and when we find out about the connection to Vader it kinda makes me wonder why we would be looking at Obi-Wan so much in the PT since the real story is turning out to be the destiny of the Skywalker family.

The OT was a story about a set of heroes and Luke played the central role. Vader only mattered as a Skywalker because of his late-revealed connection to Luke. Lucas retconned the series as the story of Anakin and by extension Luke. It doesn't need to be seen this way...

No doubt Anakin is an important character (because of his relation to Luke) but that doesn't mean he needs to be the hero of the PT. As BlueCardinal says, up until at least the end of ESB, we don't view it as a Skywalker story. With Obi Wan as hero, we see him early in ANH, he passes the torch, and it works really well as a story-telling device.

Nothing wrong with wanting to tell it as a Skywalker story, but it doesn't need to be done that way. There is just nothing abrupt in moving from an Obi Wan centered-tale in the PT, to him meeting the son of his old friend/student in the OT.

 Actually it has to be seen that way because lucas made vader lukes father. That twist introduced in Empire makes the OT a skywalker saga in fact it makes as much a story of anakin's redemption as it does lukes hero journey. So to tell a prequel that focuses on someone other than anakin is jarring. 

Its like telling the story of hitler's regime (the original shown) then going back to show how he became hitler, nazi leader but focusing on his high school buddy in art class Johann, who got accepted to the art school that rejected hitler himself (the prequel). The next story (the OS) is about the rise of the 3rd reich so why are we looking at johann in the prequel as opposed to adolf himself? 

If what youre saying is the case then the sequel trilogy could be about Lando Calrissian's son's journey while the skywalker children are in the background. You think people wouldn't question that?

I do get where you're coming from, but the idea would be really difficult. Having Anakin as the focus would mean trying to go into his thoughts and progression as we seen it for Luke. That wouldn't be bad if we weren't trying to hide any spoilers. For Luke, we saw him deal with the temptations of the Dark Side and fight for the Rebel Alliance. With Anakin as the main character, we need to see the opposite of Luke. We need to see his progression to the Dark Side and the choices he makes to become Darth Vader.

Obi-Wan as the focus would allow us to see Anakin's fall without revealing anything. Anakin would still be a major character and we could still see hints of the Dark Side in Anakin. It would be more like seeing the fall of Camelot and King Arthur through the eyes of Merlin (which was actually done in the BBC "Merlin" series).

If there is a way to show Anakin's fall and not spoil anything, then I'd use it. Until then, Obi-Wan is the best option for a situation like this.

Well, regarding the plothole you came across, maybe you can change it so that Padme has Korin taking care of her children on some planet, hiding them from everyone else. Padme would visit them from time to time and/or Korin would bring the children to Padme. The children would know of their mother but nothing of their father, and in turn, the galaxy wouldn't know about them. Does that work?

Another option is that you can do is have Padme survive the duel between Anakin and Maul, and is whisked away by Obi-Wan. Like you planned, the twins are surgically removed and Obi-Wan plans to split the twins up. Korin can give Leia to the Organas with Padme posiing as a servant to care for her daughter. That way you can match it up with what Leia and Obi-Wan said in RotJ.

The story is good. You show Anakin's fall well, dealing with the conflict between him and Obi-Wan as well as his and Padme's relationship. 

However, there a concept I was not too sure about. First, Padme giving birth and her death: Luke and Leia being surgically removed from Padme was interesting take, but I thought Padme would survive, go into hiding, and die some years later while taking care of Leia (because Leia talks about her in Return of the Jedi).

Besides that, there is one other thing: Show Bail Organa in the story. Since he's referenced in Leia's message, showing Bail with Obi-Wan would give a nice introduction. We can get a good understanding of his character and show him forming the Rebel Alliance from the former Separists worlds taken in by the Republic.

Other than that, there's nothing else I can say. It is an interesting idea and I can't wait to see the finale.

Much of the story will be focused on Anakin as we'll be seeing the events through his eyes, mainly.

Also, I've written a small excerpt for Episode 1. 

The Twilight’s engines let out slight hum as it traveled through hyperspace. In the blue tunnel, it reverberated in the blue tunnel and echoed through the vessel’s walls. It was quite normal for space-travelers, almost calming.

In one of the Twilight’s room, a man sat on the bed cross-legged. He was well into middle age and with long brown hair that draped on his shoulders. He slowly breathed in and out, the air bristling over his beard as he silenced his mind of distractions. The man had been at it for… an hour, maybe more? It did not matter anyway. Time had little meaning when one was immersed in the Force.

During the many hours in hyperspace, the man had meditated. Meditation techniques were often used by the Jedi to seek guidance from the Force. Though he was no longer a Jedi, the man often sought clarity in the Force, more so recently.

The white currents of the Force swirled around the man, curving and coalescing like water in an ocean. With it, he used it to sense to the Twilight. He felt the durability in the ship, despite its old age. The hyperspace vibrations filled the air with a slight rattle from the durasteel plating of the Twilight’s old floors.

The man knew he was not alone on the Twilight. There was another being, a young man strong with the Force. When the man tried to sense him, the aura was practically blinding. With that kind of power, the young man could use his power for good… if he was given the right training.

He will be trained. He has to be, the man thought to himself.

The Twilight suddenly gave a slight shudder. The man’s eyes opened and he quickly uncrossed his legs, knowing very well the Twilight just dropped out of hyperspace. The man grabbed the slender cylinder next to him and quickly left his quarters for the cockpit.

That's it for now. I'm not sure if I'll actually get to it, but hopefully I will. Please let me know what you think. Thanks.

P.S. I'm not too sure about the name ("The Dying Torch"). I'm thinking of using it for another story. Should I keep the name?

The story seems pretty interesting. There are some good things, but there are a bunch of things I feel could have been improved.

First the good stuff: It is nice to see the how the Jedi and the Republic are starting to falter. Also, Maul has proven to be a good villain, but I'm not sure if Dooku was needed. I think Gunray would work better as the face of the Separatists since audiences can recognize him more.

We see more of Anakin's fall to the Dark Side as he becomes more aggressive and I'm interested to see how it plays out in the Clone Wars. We also get to see him work with Obi-Wan in an interesting scene with the undercover Jedi. As for Obi-Wan, he's a lot better because he gives actual lessons to Anakin while more compassionate and understanding. He cares but he's not going to put up with any nonsense.

The rest: The final battle is basically the same as in AotC: a bunch of jedi come in, and then the clones come in to the save them, leading to the battle. I think it'd be easier if you just have the Jedi and clones come in at once.

Also, Padme's role has been decreased a little, in my opinion. In the last film, she was Anakin's love interest, but she also played a huge role with the invasion.Here, the only thing going on is just her marriage and affair with Anakin. I like it, but maybe she should have had a significant role.

Finally, add in some conversation with Palpatine and Anakin. Show Palpatine putting some doubt into Anakin about the Jedi, or maybe at the end (when Anakin's recovering), Palaptine's there to "comfort" the young Jedi and begins to put the seeds of the Dark Side.

Nitpicks: I do like the romance between Anakin and Padme and I do understand why you made it this way, but it felt weird that Anakin and Padme didn't get married, to me anyway. Maybe it's because I'm too used to the actual PT and other PT rewrites I've seen where they do get married (This is more of nitpick, really, not actual criticism).

Overall, I think the story is good. The criticisms I just stated are small in comparison to the rest of what you wrote. Keep it up. Can't wait for Episode 3!

Alright, who would you use as the main protagonist of your PT rewrite? I know some people use Anakin because he was the main guy in the actual PT, but others use Obi-Wan. Any reason why? If you still want to use Anakin, why? Just curious.

DuracellEnergizer said:

A number of stupid PT elements would still remain -- Darths, younglings, Gungans, Chosen One prophecy, etc. --

Sadly, one of the things that has to stay is Yoda using a lightsaber as he's shown to use it in TCW. That can be turned down a notch, though, having Yoda wield with the lightsaber with the Force instead of actually jumping around and slicing droids up.

In the cancelled Kenner toyline called Star Wars: the Epic Continues, the main villain was Atha Prime, an architect of the Clone Wars who exiled by the Emperor. You could say Atha Prime rebelled against the Republic, who were trying to seize his cloning tech and/or he attacked worlds using clone armies. Just a thought.

BTW, nice job DuracellEnergizer for using the concept in your PT rewrite. I really notice it until I saw the article on Atha Prime.

Carthage said:

I hate Revan more than I hate The Phantom Menace and Attack of the clones. This third generation of SW fans that put him on par to Luke/Vader/Palpatine is quite possibly the most irritating thing to me of all.

Actually, I like Revan. His character arc about going from a hero to villain then back is interesting. However, I agree too many KotOR fans put his extremely powerful (sometimes god-like) to the point that he overpowers the movie Jedi/Sith. I think that's bull. 

For this, I have a timeline that hopefully works with TCW:

44 BBY – Anakin’s born to Shmi, whose husband died a short while ago.

32 BBY – Qui-Gon frees Anakin and his mom from slavery. Anakin's 12.

31 BBY – Dooku encounters Sidious.

30 BBY – Invasion of Naboo.

29 BBY – Sifo-Dyas is killed after he and Dooku form the Clone Army. Anakin's taken into the Jedi Order by 15 and trained by Obi-Wan. Clone Wars officially start as the Trade Federation gains more allies.

28 BBY – Palpatine is made Chancellor. Cease fire is made.

26 BBY – Dooku forms the Separatists and brings in the Trade Federation.

23 BBY – Episode 1. 

23-20 BBY – TCW

20 BBY – Episode 2. 

19 BBY – Episode 3. 

With that timeline set up, here's a rough synopsis for each installment:

EPISODE 1

As the fragile peace between the Republic and the Separatists crumbles, Dooku tries to assassinate Padme. Anakin takes her to Tatooine for safety (with his mother) while Obi-Wan goes to investigate the Clone Army that the Kaminoans have grown for the Republic. Their adventures would lead to Geonosis, where the war begins anew.

EPISODE 2

Dooku manipulates clones into attacking the Jedi and the Republic. Anakin and Obi-Wan manage to defeat the rogue clones (with help from a Viceroy Bail Organa of Alderaan), but Anakin's secret marriage with Padme is revealed. Padme, not wanting Anakin to sacrifice his future as a Jedi, divorces him. Unbeknownst to anyone, Padme's a few weeks pregnant.

EPISODE 3 

Almost a year passed since Padme divorced Anakin. Anakin's relation with the Jedi is strained, and Palpatine uses that to turn Anakin to the Dark Side and hunt down the Jedi. Obi-Wan finds a pregnant Padme, and helps her escape Palpatine's wrath. After Obi-Wan faces Anakin (now Darth Vader) on Mustafar, Padme gives birth to Luke and Leia, who are split up. Obi-Wan takes Luke to Tatooine and Leia to Alderaan.

More details will be added, but for now, what do you think? Is it alright? Does anything need to be added, or removed? Please, let me know. Thanks.