Vultural

Flesh Feast - 1970 - 3/10

Grade-D nonsense, that I knew beforehand was atrocious, but I was coaxed.
Veronica Lake (final film role) as the mad Dr. Frederick, who experiments with maggots.
The goal? Restore youthful appearance, if not youth, to the subjects.
How’s that grab ya? Let maggots crawl around your face.
Cheap by every imaginable standard. Film seems to be shot in one house, with one camera.
Characters deliver lines in monotone, with zero interplay. Amateur hour all the way.
Final five minutes sizzle, unless you have glanced at 99% of reviews, in turgid twaddle.

Logan’s Run - 1976 - 6/10

Never trust anyone over 30. More than a slogan, this is the new path.
Reach 30, and citizens shall be “renewed” in the Carrousel.
Want a few more months … years … decades? Tough. There are Sandmen.
Film evolves into a hunt / chase adventure toward the goal of Sanctuary.
Diverting, even enjoyable, so long as your mind slumbers.
I am curious to view an uncut or director’s cut, but it would likely be longer nonsense.

THX 1138 - 1971 - 6/10

Embrace your Orwellian future, today!
Citizens bear the mark of the beast, numbers & letters.
Sex is forbidden, drugs are mandatory, clothes are monochrome white.
Our protagonist (Duvall) is obedient until his female mate messes with his drugs.
Sex and rebellion, followed by pursuit.
Dystopian SciFi is bare bones expansion of a George Lucas student film.
Star Wars resurrected this downer and gave it traction, yet it’s still a drag.

Newell, Martin - The Greatest Living Englishman

Compromise score this. For those unfamiliar with Newell, this is likely a 3. For readers who have several of his other books, as well as a slew of records, this is a 5. And essential.
Followup to This Little Ziggy picks up immediately after events of that memoir.
Time frame runs roughly twenty years, from 1974 to 1995.
The fatigued demise of The Mighty Plod to the “The Off White Album”.
In-between are creative adventures, as well as the slog of the ups and downs.
This entertaining book relies on diaries and journals, and feels fairly accurate.

I am long familiar with Newell the musician. In the early 1990’s coworkers at the record shop, bemused by a lizard tea party, opened The Brotherhood Of Lizards compact disc and played it in-store for a few months. I bought that, then later, “The Greatest Living Englishman” on CD, followed by more titles on small labels and from JAR.
For curious buyers, this book is exorbitantly priced at mainstream book dealers. Avoid those.
Martin sells this book direct on Bandcamp. He gave me permission to include the link.
https://thecleanersfromvenus.bandcamp.com/merch/the-greatest-living-englishman
Martin is a “cottage industry”. Support him and others like him, rather than second-hand souls.
Goodnight, Illya.

The Third Man - 1959 - 6/10

Note the release date. This is not the cynical Noir set in Vienna.
This is a reboot, with Michael Rennie playing a more urbane, genteel EX–criminal.
At half an hour, each episode hustles along as Lime aids a damsel, an old colleague, or friendly government.
This Lime is actually a throwback to the gentleman detectives of the 1930’s.
Routine mysteries, though supposedly set in exotic locales.
Passable time-waster late at night when you want to kill 30 minutes.

Wait For Your Laugh - 2017 - 6/10

Highly entertaining biography of Rose Marie.
From 3-year-old radio star, Baby Rose Marie to voice character on Garfield.
Most will recall her from The Dick Van Dyke Show and Hollywood Squares.
From beginning to end, relentless touring and stage shows.
Powerful friends include Al Capone, Joe Fischetti and Bugsy Siegel.
There are some spare reenactments of characters, but this is mostly footage and interviews.
Even at 94, she remains fierce and funny throughout.

Hanging Mirrors - 2025 - 7/10
AKA - Xuan Jing // 悬镜

The first body was found by accident.
Make that body parts. Incomplete, missing the torso.
This ignites the old guy (Simon Yam) who toils in records, recalling an unsolved case.
He teams with the younger lead, mixing styles of procedural and classic mythology.
More killings follow, none are random. Ancient practice is being followed.
Bodies placed according to Yin and Yang.

Nasty thriller that delves into archeology, history, tomb robbing, dismemberment.
Misses greatness as producers short-changed the final two minutes (hoping for Season 2).
If intrigued, go into this stone cold. Synopses in both IMDB and DramaList contain spoilers.

Calendar Girls - 2003 - 6/10

Middle aged women, members of the Women’s Institute, want to raise money for charity.
Eventually, they follow the idea of a “nude” calendar.
Nude meaning discreet and obscured.
Feel good film was a surprise hit, and still brings smiles.
Predictable, with several scruffy patches.
Big cast includes Helen Mirren, Julie Walters, Penelope Wilton, Celia Imrie.

Borderline - 1930 - 6/10

Groundbreaking film, far ahead of its time.
Paul Robeson stars as a husband whose wife is having an affair with a white man.
The local cafe where he resides tolerates the brouhaha, and him.
Villagers, however, see the affair as disruptive and blame Negroes for the problems.
A few, explicit in their racism.
Enjoyment may depend …
An experimental film, both in narrative and in editing, yet the pace is glacial.
Slow to say the least. Silent film, with very, very few intertitles.

We’re All Gonna Die - 2022 - 6/10

Yes, one way or another. All men are mortal.
Host Baruchel angsts over mass events: pandemic, nuclear war, global warming, alien invasion.
He is a Chicken Little ninny, overdramatizing constantly as if he were unboxing for his mommy.
The idea of mass annihilation has already been covered more thoroughly and less foolishly in How To Survive The End Of The World (2013), minus the pity party indulged in here.
Should this get rebooted – again – please let Philomena Cunk have a bash at it.

Harsch, Rick - The Periphus Of Spur Tank Road

Hotel Ganesh, India, evening, sultry outside, bordering on stifling.
Character Rick relaxes on the terrace, trying to enjoy, appreciate, think.
When a monkey, a Bonnet Macaque to be precise, hisses, “Hey Mac.”
Rick, being a creative sort, doesn’t find a talking monkey so unusual, and the two begin a conversation.
From here, gentle reader, drop any preconceptions. Just switch off the damn TV and hang on.
Exchanges range from lurid history, to volleys against the preening indecency of humanity.
Yes, yes, I know, we mean well. Yet, when we do what we do – oops, sorry.
Vasco da Gama may get singled out, but he is merely a stand-in for the horde.
Our monkey, soon calling itself Pagan, speaks a fractured English.
For the best, as our author has not included dialogue markers (he said, Pagan replied)
We navigate a jungle of words, often confused or meandering.
Very enjoyable, if you have a taste for this, although I often suspected the author was on a bender, free-styling impressions while his hallucinations were fresh.

*Grand Prix - 1966 - 7/10

Overlong, overwrought, soap opera claptrap.
Until the Formula One engines roar to life!
Racing sequences are dazzling, thrilling even, as you are in the seat.
Groundbreaking back in the day, and still completely shames CGI fakery.
Nevertheless, the love triangles suck big time.
Yves Montand memorable as the aging driver who cannot retire. HIS is the story.
Other relationships go nowhere. Fast forward, you won’t miss much.

A Night With Janis Joplin - 2025 - 7/10

Not quite a revue, nor a straight biography.
Exhilarating musical numbers mixed with Joplin talking of childhood and her early years in San Francisco.
Also her influences: her mother’s taste in Broadway, along with Bessie Smith, Nina Simone, Odetta, Aretha, Etta James.
Mary Bridget Davies, as Joplin, is a powerhouse. Not just belting the blues, but the drawl, the cackle, the humor.
Nor is she alone. Four others slip into The Chantels, Etta, Bessie, etc …
Everyone has the chops. Save for an elderly audience who seem listless. A younger audience might have been livelier, except they might not have know the singer, let alone her songs.
The estate is still highly protective, so nor mention of her troubles.
Again, akin to a musical, and a rowdy, exhilarating one at that.
English subtitles = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3361066

The Brides Of Fu Manchu - 1966 - 5/10

Well, if you want to be accurate, they are actually caged prisoners.
Whose fathers are eminent specialists.
Obey his instructions or the daughters will perish horribly.
The goal? World domination!
Rather silly film benefits from Lee, as always, and energetic players.
Jarring at first seeing Chinese villains amidst a backdrop of Egyptian statues and frescos.
There’s also an underground installation of electronics that Ernst Blofield would envy.

Mrs. ‘Arris Goes To Paris - 1992 - 6/10

While getting mail for Mrs. Dent, charwoman Mrs. Harris sees her Dior gown.
By and large, the loveliest, most beautiful thing she has even seen.
Determined to have one, she scrimps and saves for three years to buy one at the Dior shop.
Except, when she reaches Paris three years later, she finds there isn’t exactly a shop.
She is allowed to attend one of the showings (???), and sits next to a well dressed diplomat.
Lansbury is delightful in fashion fantasy, along with costars Diana Rigg and Omar Sharif.
Solid work all around. Gowns, models, period cars, street scenes, everyday attire.

Few questions.
How long is your edit?
How large the filesize?
Is this 720p or 1080p or larger?
Thank you.

Lost Hearts - 1973 - 6/10

“None of us are given much time. Lifespan, a mere flicker.”
Declares Mr Abney to Stephen, his much, much younger cousin.
Young Stephen is still trying to settle in, asking questions about children who preceded him.
Abney, a most sinister man, yet admired by servants, masks his guile with smiles.
Gothic suspense based on M. R. James, holds up well and is an effective thriller.
Informative commentary by Kim Newman seems a bit too jolly for the subject.

Damnation Alley - 1977 - 5/10

World War III ignites and much of Earth is annihilated, one exception being a Mojave Desert Air Force Base.
And yet … there are radio signals from Albany, New York.
A handful of survivors set forth in armored land vehicles (which might have inspired Aliens).
Obstacles include scorpions the size of pool tables, swarming killer cockroaches, and hillbillies.
I tell you this, those vehicles got damn good mileage. I never saw them refuel.
Every place they stopped, Vegas or nonworking gas station, every place had been hit with feather duster.
Altogether mediocre SciFi, that participants might have been foolishly optimistic about.
Unaware that, across the Atlantic, George Lucas was guiding a project in England.

Youngson, Anne - Meet Me At The Museum

Fifty years after being mentioned in an introduction, Tina writes Professor Glob of Silkeborg…
Mind you, he is long gone, but her query is answered by the museum curator.
From thence springs a lively correspondence between Tina and Anders.
That is much of the charm of this novel. Reading their letters, seeing their friendship deepen and progressing with each missive.
That is also the weakness of the book, and I have to set aside my skepticism and disbelief.
Ours is an era when few write actual letters. When even writing a paragraph is too taxing for most.
I found one early remark sadly accurate. “I have found that is no use to write … more than three or four lines because whoever receives it will not read to the end.”
That phrase hung with me throughout the exchanges, and I stayed disassociated.
Near the end, one of the characters receives a sharp turn which felt more like the heavy hand of the author. Then again, the time frame of the novel is barely more than a year, so I suppose compression of events might be forgiven.

Murder In Martinique - 2016 - 6/10
AKA - Meurtres en Martinique

Missing beauty contestant is found a year later under a mudslide.
Parisian transfer teams up with a grizzled veteran.
The beauty contest smacks of exploitation, the area is replete with superstition.
Plenty of suspects, not a lot of twists, but good use of off-the-track scenery.
I was hopeful since I doubted there would be romance between the white bearded cop and the beautiful transfer.
Sometimes these shows exercise restraint, other times they are more unbelievable than Hallmark.

Car 99 - 1935 - 6/10

A series of brazen bank robberies plagues the Midwest.
Michigan has state-of-the-art communications web, yet they are slim match for the Professor.
He has a crack gang, a police radio, and knows to send false reports.
Fred MacMurray plays the headstrong trooper, courting his superior’s daughter.
Fast moving action, with sporadic comic bits tossed in.
Marina Koshetz memorable as the moll, even better as the gang’s wheelman.
Best is Guy Standing, cunning mastermind hiding in plain sight amidst the officers.

Wingman: An X-Wing Story - 2023 - 6/10

A “Star Wars” chapter, which I suspect will be viewed as canon down the line.
Fifty-minute film of two halves.
First, an ambush / extraction mission, targeting an Imperial commander.
Second, a pair of X-Wing pilots left behind owing to craft damage.
Fan film from Germany, and I must say extraordinarily professional.
From costumes, to fighter crafts, to backgrounds, to storyline.
Narrative remains on point, never meanders, seldom loses momentum.
Restrained acting shames melodramatic hamminess of recent SW efforts.
Aspiring filmmakers, the costs were €3500.
English subtitles = https://subsource.net/subtitle/wingman-an-x-wing-story-2023/english/10132592

Slade In Flame - 1975 - 6/10

The Glam rock band throw a left hook here.
Rather than deliver a broad comedy, or feel-good, big show finale saga, this feels dark.
Flame forms from two journeyman bands, somehow gets a hit, then publicity.
Pressures on the road, rivalries, crooked managers, an indifferent label.
One gets the feeling that “the suits” regard them as disposable.
For the band members, this likely had the ring of truth.
They had either lived this scrabble life for years, or knew groups … like Badfinger.
Slade do well within their roles. They themselves never caught the breaks Stateside.

The Final Lesson - 2015 - 6/10
AKA - La Dernière Leçon

At her birthday party, her 92nd birthday, Grandma announces she is checking out.
Five weeks, then she plans to off herself. Time enough to settle affairs, say goodbyes.
Family reactions range from despair to apoplectic.
Film does not sugarcoat some unpleasant behavior by offspring.
There are glimmers that Grandma had a history of being selfish, putting her interests before her children.
Once taboo topic has witnessed a spate of end-of-life stories in recent years.

Mad Fate - 2023 - 6/10
AKA - 命案

Straight off, this proved excessively Chinese, even for me.
A fortune teller tries to avert the death fate of a client.
Then, he bumps into a young male, whom Fate has already cast as a murderer.
Concurrently, a serial killer targets females, while cop hounds all.
Marked as a thriller, this also has a lot of verbal comedy which flew past me.
The fortune telling, spells, talismans, chants … I couldn’t keep up.
Our main character is beyond wacko, and I just wanted another character – any – to kill him.
Messy, half-baked poo-pooh.