Vultural

She Creature - 2001 - 6/10

Dublin carnies fleece the rubes with fake zombie and fake mermaid in 1904.

They encounter the seemingly “real deal” and kidnap it, then book passage for America.
PT Barnum, Ringling Bros, and limitless wealth beckons.
They fail to realize as the ship sails the Atlantic, the creature’s influence and power grows.
Modest production values (Stan Winston involved), capable set of actors, intelligent script.
Decent late night yarn.
Beware mermaid nudity and erotic situations.
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Forbidden Films - 2014 - 7/10
AKA - Verbotene Filme

Over 1000 films were made under the Nazis. Historicals, musicals, thrillers, and propaganda.
After World War II, 300 were officially banned. Today that number is around 40.
This documentary shows where they are stored, and how they are screened.
Viewing within Germany is still tightly controlled, although the resourceful can find ways.
A sampling are screened to audiences in France, Germany, Israel, and neo-Nazis.
(The latter discuss how banned films are still useful for indoctrinating the young.)
Propaganda ranges from anti-Communist, anti-British, antisemitic, rallying the troops.
The prints that the Murnau Foundation has are sharper than other Reichsfilme I have seen.
Apparently with subtitles, too. Half of those I have watched have none.
Is this worth watching? Yes.
The Santayana quote, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” strikes me as only half true.
History does repeat - again and again.
Those who grasp the cycle, however, may better prepare for the inevitable.

Dog Soldiers - 2002 - 6/10

Cowabunga!
Claustrophobic actioner finds military squad trapped in seemingly deserted country house.
Besieged by a pack of werewolves!
Howlingly funny at times, this does not take itself too seriously. (Monsters are stuffed puppets or cardboard standups.)
Government plots offset by dark humor.
Good macho cast anchored by Liam Cunningham, Kevin McKidd, and Sean Pertwee (Why, by the way, is Pertwee not considered for Dr. Who? He is a ringer of his pa.).
Director Neil Marshall would go on to bigger budgeted movies, but none had the heart and humor of this one.

The Kiss Of Her Flesh - 1968 - 5/10

Grindhouse crap of serial killer who targets voluptuous females to get even with his faithless, if dead, wife.
The opening sequence tracks a woman wandering around a snowy lake.
She fails to see the guy wearing a ski mask, waving a tire iron, as he approaches.
Next thing, she’s naked while he tortures her with a lobster claw.
Safe sex sequences (everyone wears panties or briefs) break up unbelievably bad kills.
Audio is totally looped, no sync with mouths whatsoever. The editing is choppier than an infant in the bathtub.
The intrusive score is a mix of lounge, bongos, and classical.
Compensations - topless womenfolk abound.
Those who prefer full figured lovelies will feel they have entered Double D heaven.
Best-worst aspect about this garbage is that this is part of a trilogy!
I will probably watch the other two because the loser gene runs strong in me.

Roe - 2010 - 5/10

Promising indie short follows “Earl” as he delivers sandwiches to the local bar.
Also fishes the nearby lake for any salvage. Where he spies a curious ring.

Sure, you urge him to leave it alone, but greed and desperation are powerful inducements.
From then on, Earl is drawn into something weird.
Visions, encounters, and his flesh begins to rot, perhaps mirroring his soul.
Photography and music is fine, “acting” is dismal.
Thespians repeat their memorized lines without feeling or interacting with each other.

Russian Roulette - 2018 - 6/10
AKA - Une Chance Sur Six

The well heeled, crafty antique dealer being confronted by a low tier thug.
As is often the case, the affluent keep nasty secrets which leave them open to extortion.
“Victim” Hubert, however, is a genial block of calculation. A gambler, a heavy one.
Our blackmailer, ignorant of the fiddled odds, wades deeper into the bog.
This mystery is well shot, bears a lush musical score, and displays kinked characters.
The tone seems a little too blasé and removed, so one is never really involved.
Characters are sharply drawn, though, making this a step higher than most video mysteries.

Hotel America - 1981 - 6/10
AKA - Hotel des Ameriques

Middling drama of grieving woman and man who perpetually spins his wheels.
They meet after she speeds though narrow town lanes and damn near runs him down.
There is mutual interest - attraction even - but not mutually reciprocated.
One of those horrible relationships of the mismatched wavelength.
When he’s passionate, she’s cold. When she trusts, he’s jealous. They seem never together.
All of us have been locked in this trap where you tear each other apart.
Here, they are insecure, and reside in a small beachfront, casino town where everyone knows everyone.
Nice one for Deneuve fans.

Last Love - 2013 - 6/10

Michael Caine as recent widower adrift in Paris.
A female passenger on bus sees him, sees that he is lost, terribly bereaved, but not dead.
Their relationship reawakens his interest in life. New hobbies, new classes, new cafes.
Plot felt refried, and Caine couldn’t hold his American (New York) accent for more than a couple beats.
Interesting curio, nevertheless, which held my attention throughout.

Pandora’s Box - 1928 - 9/10
AKA - Die Büchse der Pandora

Silent masterpiece directed by Pabst.
Louise Brooks mesmerizing as Lulu, the destroying angel.
Frank carnality, quite explicit for its time.
Men succumb to her charms, exploit her, blackmail her, ransom her.
Every encounter leaves the males worse.

First section, set in the hectic theatre world, brilliantly captures the frantic Weimar Republic era.
Narrative shifts from Berlin to the gambling boat to fog cloaked London.
Shocking in its day, film barely seen in the States.
Willful, self-destructive Brooks slipped into decades of oblivion soon afterward.

Happiness - 1965 - 6/10
AKA - Le Bonheur

Subversive film with a fairytale feel.
François and Thérèse share an idyllic, blissful marriage.
Indeed, François is so pleased with this arrangement, he decides an extra female will increase his happiness.
He is handsome, and the blonde at the post office is agreeable.
Agnes Varda directs dispassionately, without judgment or the expected emotional outbursts.
A quiet probe into the open marriage concept.
Comment: So-called open marriages were something I witnessed in the 70’s.
Most were similar in that husbands were free to taste the extra slice. Wives, not so much.
AIDS seemed to puncture the fun out of such openness.

Monster - 2017 - 7/10

Another teenage girl disappears in remote north of Norway.
Local authorities receive unasked for help from Oslo.
Big city cops, with heavy handed technique.
Eventually, they find a body - the first of many - in an open field.
Soon a dozen corpses are unearthed in the same expanse, revealing a large maze-like pattern filled with bodies and bones going back hundreds of years.
Multiple threads quilt this series: A religious sect, with roots in early Christian, a smuggling gang, a town history of incinerations and infidelities. Secrets cling to almost every character.
This being a TV show, secrets shall be exposed.
Not all, however, as many elements remain baffling, at least to this outsider.
I imagine Scandinavians would shrug and say, “Oh, polar night, sure,” along with other curiosities.
At seven episodes (that conclude!) this is easy to watch without a major time commitment.

Suspiria - 2018 - 7/10

Note: Script by Argento, but this is not the 1977 classic.
A young American dancer is accepted into an exclusive Berlin troupe.
Some of her predecessors had been murdered or simply disappeared.
This is a film of atmosphere, mood, and set-design.
Dance sequences are a highlight, along with stunning cinematography
Horror runs as an undercurrent, flowering in the final act.
This “remake” is arthouse, of which prospective viewers should be aware.

Beast - 2017 - 6/10

While celebrating the younger daughter’s birthday, her older sister announces she is pregnant.
Cheers! Break out the bubbly! Back to cinders sits the outshone sister.
Later the next day, she meets a man who shows a bit of interest, and she hopes her fate has changed.
Perhaps.
Set on the isle of Jersey, this is a murder mystery of shifting suspicions.
The new boyfriend has a spotty criminal record, though love conquers all, yes?
Sour prospects, with mostly rotten options, make for an unpleasant journey.

Byzantium - 2013 - 6/10

Arched vampire film (sounded like a play to me) set in Hastings and Dublin.
Dual threads of modern girls eeking a living by petty crimes and prostitution, being trailed by two men wearing blue gloves. Secondary thread is of same girls, two hundred years earlier, and how they came to be “turned.”
Slow, low on thrills, yet avoids the usual clichés. Mysterious order and isolated cave involved.
Violates vampire rules such as daylight and mirrors - I am seeing this more often lately.
Top crew led by Neil Jordan.

The Silence - 2010 - 7/10
AKA - Das Letzte Schweigen

Grim business in small town Germany.
Young girl on bicycle followed onto lonely dirt road, raped, killed.
Community shocked, police tear themselves apart trying to find murderer. Nothing.
Twenty years later, an identical crime of young girl on exact same stretch of road.
A new generation of cops investigate, realize it is not a copycat, but the killer has returned.
Engrossing, absorbing thriller, though not necessarily entertaining.
Perhaps not for over-protective parents.

Vienna: Empire, Dynasty And Dream - 2016 - 5/10

Caveat emptor.
I wanted a documentary on the late Hapsburg Dynasty.
Instead, I found this. 2000 years of Vienna, from Roman times to today, in three episodes.
History on speed dial. Movers and shakers given one or two anecdotes. Next!
Worse, our presenter, is in damn near every scene.
Walking, driving his car (why? do car makers offer a consideration?), or simply closeups.
Many closeups.
Our man gabs about the Ottoman siege while buses huff past, and sidewalks teem with cargo shorts and sunglasses.
Great way to establish the proper imaginative mood, producers.

The Scar Of Shame - 1929 - 6/10

Drama, bordering on melodrama, studies the class system.
Sharing the boarding house, Alvin is a promising composer. Eddie is a hustler and runs a club.
Enter the alluring Louise, beaten and almost molested by her father.
Alvin wants to protect her, Eddie sees a chance to dress her fine and make money.
The first half of this Silent pokes along, with Alvin coming across as a fussy prig.
After a major turn of events, however, the second half is seedier and sexier.
Class, whether our set, our kind, or caste, tis ever the privileged barring the lower orders.

Ultraviolet - 1998 - 8/10

Outstanding six part series of secret government alliance of church and state ops.
Tight, clandestine battle against vampires engaged in finance manipulation, AIDS research, abortion clinics, biological warfare.
Especially dark series, matched with an intricate, intelligent script.
Creators admitted Ultraviolet was a one-off and they packed every idea they had into it.
With Jack Davenport and Susannah Harker (great-great-great granddaughter of actor Joseph Cunningham Harker, whose friend, Bram Stoker, used for Jonathan Harker). Also a young Idris Elba as the hard-assed Vaughan.
Definitely worth tracking down.

Miles Davis: Birth Of The Cool - 2019 - 7/10

Excellent overview of one of the premier innovators in Jazz.
Historians are kept to a minimum, leaving those who actually knew Miles, or worked with him, speak.
Childhood, apprenticeship, relationships, drugs.
The recording career focuses on pivotal albums. “Kind Of Blue” rather than “Jack Johnson.”
This packs in a lot, and is one of the more comprehensive Jazz biographies I have seen.

Bell From Hell - 1973 - 5/10
AKA - La Campana del Infierno

Moody, Spanish film I have tried to like a couple of times without success.
Young male, released from asylum (criminal? mental?) roars off to the family estate.
Now presided over by a surviving aunt and her three daughters.
Did she loot his inheritance? Was she responsible for his mother’s death?
Was his mother crazy? Did he inherit her instability?
A lot goes on, to be sure. and hard to fathom for this observer.
Every copy I have watched is horribly dubbed, dialogue muffled beyond belief.
The visuals are dark and blurry, indicating an nth generation copy.
Imaginative touches help, but not enough, and the film becomes a bore.

Regrets - 2009 - 7/10
AKA - Les Regrets

Architect goes to hometown to see Ma in her deathbed.
On the streets, however, he sees his old flame. Their eyes lock.
For a few hours, they resist, citing marriage vows.
Fate prevails, and they are soon inside each other.
As the old sad song laments, “… that old flame might not be stronger, but it’s been burnin’ longer …”
Of course there were reasons why they failed years earlier.
He is possessive, obsessive. She is indecisive, changing her mind every quarter hour.
Mismatched couple, common with late teens and early twenties dating.
Some grow out of this stage, meet more suitable partners. Others never get over the old torch.
Impeccable acting in an infuriating watch.

The Devil Inside Her - 1977 - 5/10

Barnyard stud Joseph is desired by two farmer’s daughters.
Faith seems to have the inside track, since he loves her.
Hope, more lustful, begs God to help her. If not the Almighty, then the devil.

And the devil responds, though it appears he has been to a KISS or Insane Clown Posse convention.
In no time flat, he proceeds to impersonate the farm residents so he can sow some seed.
Being XXX, expect an array of lascivious couplings.
Set in 1823, schtuppings and rompings mostly occur outdoors, but grow repetitive.
The big Satanic orgy finale, however, resembles Mardi Gras, bathed in a flood of technicolor lights.

The Conjuring - 2013 - 6/10

Family of seven moves into possessed house deep in the woods.
Quickly discovers the boarded up cellar, followed by bumps in the night.
Oh, and the family dog refuses to enter the house.
As always, they have never seen a Horror film or read a ghost story.
Renowned demonologists arrive and paranormal activity soars.
Not a bad film, I was lucky to watch it while a crashing thunderstorm howled outside.
Despite the children, five girls, the director does not succumb to child exploitation.

At The Mountains Of Madness - 2011 - 6/10

Still wondering if Guillermo is ever going to get motivated and rock HPL?
You’d sooner get your girlfriend a tentacle outfit, Cthulhu boys, to distract your woes.
Meantime, forget Del Toro and get the 33 minute Italian animated version of ATMOM!
Doomed Miskatonic expedition searches for lost civilization in the frozen wastes.
They discover the labyrinthine city of non Euclidian angles.
And remains of Elder Things! And Shoggoths!!
Deaths. First the dogs, then the men.
Entertaining quickie. Available free in HD with English subtitles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvpBDopIMxw

Mystery Woman - 2005-07 - 6/10

You win!! One month at a luxurious, if tiny, island paradise!
Although the isle is fully stocked, you pack viewing essentials.
Your prize collections of Thor, Aquaman, Power Rangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, He-Man.
One glance back and you see your date clutching shows of her own.
“What do you have?” you ask.
“I loves me some Hallmark Mysteries!”
(Comment: If the “love me some” phrase is uttered, you should dump them on the spot. It’ll never work out. This person is either stupid or shallow or pretentious or D, all of the above.)
By and large, Hallmark means a plucky crime solving heroine, and her useless male companion, nicknamed Nubbin.
If your date is carrying Mystery Woman, consider yourself unbelievably lucky.
In these mini-movies, Samantha owns a bookstore and seems too busy to date.
Her right hand man, Philby (Clarence Williams III) is an retired intelligence operative, who retains skills and contacts.
The mysteries are rather routine, but this early series is pleasing enough, is not cloying, and does not pander to pre-pubescent fantasies, as does most of the later Hallmark production line.