Peter Pan

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szopman said:

Maybe there would be some way to cut almost completely the first 2 episodes and sum it up in the opening crawl? Like, leave the introduction of Baylon and Shin, mention in the crawl that the bad guys are in the possession of very important map to Ezra, and that Ahsoka, Hera and Sabine want to find it. The Ahsoka/Sabine stuff can basically start from the scene which was the recreation of the Rebels epilogue.

Then the stuff from 1x03 is enough to establish their master/student background and dynamics. Of course in that episode there is also some stuff that could and should be cut 😄

This way you could reduce the first 3 episodes into a 20-30min prologue.

That sounds interesting!

That would also allow us to postpone the prison break, without messing up too much.
Without the appearance of the Dark Jedi, the incident on Corellia would appear less urgent, thus explaining the reluctance of the senators to aid the investigation. Maybe that could make the absence of any OT characters feel less contrived.

Can I also get a link?

I am curious to see what Baylan is up to. I think he has greater goals than to bring back Thrawn. Seeing that Zahn is involved with this show, I can not help myself but think of C’baoth whenever Baylan is on screen. I suspect he wants to build some sort of twisted Jedi order or something and that is his real reason to leave the galaxy. I am definitely exicited to see another galaxy in Star Wars.

The series is not great, but I will say that it is somewhat fun to watch. It feels like an odd mixture of Rebels and some of the old EU books, particularly Outbound Flight.

yippie

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KhSuMmNyebAOYYRqMQKtMpiWyd7WPf14/view?usp=share_link

I added a little bit to Anakin’s last line, I hope that makes him easier to understand.

Here is the first draft of the scene in Palpatine’s office.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Eb92YuM5Mmi3A8MzWcpHVLtWBBcQPOzq/view?usp=share_link

I changed the dialogue so that now Anakin visits Palpatine under the pretense to ask for advice to convince Padmé to leave Coruscant, but Palpatine catches on to his intent and demands to know Anakin’s real reason to seek him out. This leads to Anakin confessing his worries for his mother in Palpatine, who assures him to look after her in his stead and adds a dismissive remark to the Jedi’s teaching methods.

Apart from a few audio bits of sub-par quality, the biggest issue left is the lip sync on some of Palpatine’s new lines. I am not sure what I can do about that, but before I attempt anything I would like to hear your opinion on the new dialogue and welcome any suggestions to improve the wording.

Unrelated to the dialogue, I noticed an editing mistake during the pan from Palpatine’s window. For a few frames, the floor of his office is disconnected from the little stairs leading up to his desk. Has anyone ever attempted to fix that?

I don’t intend to revisit the project for the moment, but I remember burning a DVD when I first finished the edit. So that could work as a preprint for restarting the project.

I should properly close this thread, the edit is dead and I do not have the files anymore, sorry.

G&G-Fan said:

I believe you are referring to “The Hidden Planet” fan-edit

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Star-Wars-Episode-II-The-Hidden-Planet-1956/id/101823

Yes, that was the edit I had in mind, thank you very much for the link.

On a different note, I remember that someone added a hologram of some mystical stone wall to Palpatine’s offices in AOTC, but I can’t find it anymore. I was thinking about extending the scene in question.

TiiN said:

Hi all, I can remember that someone worked on adding a hologram of Count Dooku to the deleted senate scene of episode 2 (and speaking to the senate). I thought this was in this thread but I can’t find it anymore. Maybe someone can help me?

I think I took it down because it turned out too convoluted and incomprehensive. However, if you are still interested, I could upload it again.

You would also have to imply that Jango purposefully planted the dart, which leads the Jedi to Kamino.

A while ago I suggested inserting a closeup of Jango holding the dart after his meeting with Zam. It’s a little change, but it would emphasis the importance of the dart and hint at a greater plan.

Semester holidays are coming up in two weeks, so if nobody responds until then, feel free to send me a PM.

Darth Tremor said:

Though I still like the idea of Palpatine using lightning on Vader to make him submit to the dark side, it would add gravitas to Vader’s line, “you don’t know the power of the dark side! I must obey my master.” You would then understand Vader to basically be saying, “I obey or die,” that he lives under tyranny.

However that is something that could be achieved, or at least hinted at, through fan editing. There is a moment after Anakin’s turn, before Palpatine tells him to rise, where we cut away to Yoda feeling the catastrophe through the force. One could add Palatine raising his hands and shooting Anakin with lightning just before the cut, continuing the sound effect through Yoda’s moment, add an evil laugh for the atmosphere and return to palatines office, where Anakin thanks his new master. This would retexture the function of force lightning, not just as a weapon but as a tool for control and dominion, essentially like a burn sign. It would show how Anakin is broken after his betrayal. He is paralyzed by his dependence on Palpatine, induced by his fear of loss. Furthermore he might very well want the punishment as a mean to numb his conscience, after all he just unleashed the ultimate horror on the galaxy.

I think something like that could serve the function of reinforcing Vader’s line in episode six, unless I misread your meaning here.

On an unrelated note. It just occurred to me, that Anakin’s redemption, which is essentially tied to the birth of the twins is ultimately dependent on Obi-Wan winning their duel on Mustafar.
That does not fit with an redemption arc, because it is no conscious decision to do good, which would signify hope for him. Instead it is his overconfidence to get the jump on his former master, which allows Obi-Wan, the droids, Padmé and by extension the twins to escape.

Darth Tremor said:

I would have him fall trying to prevent the take over of the Sith, that he is not Palpatine pal, but is seduced when Sheev kills Jedi Masters in front of him and damages Anakin with Force Lightning; that its the burns from The Emperor’s bolts that makes Anakin have to don the mask and black mantels. That would make it poetic in ROTJ that he dies being hit by bolts again.

I like the link to episode 6, although I wouldn’t try to recreate the exact scene.

Instead I would change the platform scene before the duel on Mustafar. In this version Anakin doesn’t choke Padmé after Obi-Wan’s reveal, but attacks him with force lightning, Obi-Wan defend himself with his lightsaber, but the rebound attack hits Padmé. Anakin is devastated, he is now at his lowest point, he wants revenge, Obi-Wan must die. But first Padmé needs medical help, however neither Obi-Wan nor Anakin can leave, so Anakin lets go of Padmé and allows 3PO to fly her out, thus opening the door to his redemption. On board the ship Padmé hands 3PO the coordinates to Bail’s asteroid base. They leave the system and the duel begins.

What do you think?

Yesterday all of us at home sat down and gave ROTJ another rewatch, due to the anniversary and I had an idea. I think the emperors arrival should be postponed until after the rebel meeting and Yoda’s twilight, in both scenes the Emperor is mentioned and his power and significance to the Rebel attack are underlined. It is the perfect build up to his introduction.

Great work, the trimmed dialogue works a billion times better.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

The music cues are absolutely brilliant. Nicely done.

What exactly is wrong with “Your need for victory, Anakin, it blinds you”? I took it to mean that a fight still isn’t over even though an opponent is disarmed. Seems like a valuable lesson for a Padawan, but it could be interpreted in a way that he is being too harsh on him and “holding him back”.

The way I understand it, the end of the fight will remain clunky like that unless it’s reinstated.

The problem is that Obi-Wan ends their match by doing precisely that, disarming his opponent.

Good point Octorox and I have to agree with you Jar Jar Bricks that it could add much needed substance to Anakin’s frustration in the context of an extended edition of the theatrical movie.

On the other hand I think that their antagonism towards each other bears the movie down and should be cut or greatly reduced, because it makes both character unlikeable. I mean it is hard to think that these two are friends, let alone brothers, and this scene does the opposite of reinforcing that belief.

The insert shot does the job I suppose, however I still despise the attitude Obi-Wan is giving Anakin. He is basically blaming Anakin for wanting to win their training duel, but behaves like a child that lost a game and insist on playing on until they have won themself.

In my opinion the Obi-Wan deepfake doesn’t work at all, the portion around his eyes look twice as big as the should.

My birthday

A montage like that would have to go right after Qui-Gon’s death, to match the emotions. And ideally we could add in some shots of Padmé’s team and the pilots failing their respective quests as well.

Edit: The question is whether you would want to cut away from this moment though.