Peter Pan

SparkySywer said:

I tried to edit the OT into a 3 in 1 movie, I consider it a failure.

For one, 3 in 1 prequel edits work because the prequels have a ton of filler, and the OT doesn’t really. There is a ton of stuff you could cut (the point of my 3 in 1 edit was to have one single Death Star, so obviously the Death Star attack in ANH could go), but not nearly as much. I couldn’t really get it shorter than 3h55, and I cheated by speeding it up from 23.976 FPS to 25 FPS.

Secondly, I felt like having the Jabba’s Palace sequence in the same movie as Han getting frozen in carbonite was… bad? It felt like backtracking, although I could also see it being like a chance to see more of the universe? In a meta way?

I don’t know. Don’t let this discourage you, rocknroll41’s idea especially seems promising. I’m just warning you it’ll definitely be hard to get to work.

I think the best way to handle Han being frozen in carbonite is to cut this subplot.

Yet I am unsure on how to do so. The best way I see is to adjust the scene of Lando visiting Han, Leia, Chewie and 3PO in their cell, so it is hinted that he may help them and then dubb the dialogue of an imperial officer telling Vader that the prisoners escaped.
On bord of the falcon Han would rest, still suffering, because he was tortured by the Empire (use the scene of him laying down on the plank bed in the cell).

The most difficult challenge would be to add Han to the escape from Cloud City sequence.
Even though he would be unable to fight, because of the torture he experienced a few minutes ago.

@SWOTFAN25 You should look up The War of the Stars II - The Future in Motion, its on Youtube.
He used the Vader vs Luke fight in the cave on Dagobah.

Other than that, I got to say that using Luke to tie the chapters together sounds like an awesome idea. I am looking forward to see your edit.

nl0428 said:

Hal 9000 said:

I apologize if some of my posts have been terse lately. Most of the time, the reality is that I only have one free hand to punch keys with. I appreciate the fervent discussion very much, because it makes for the best possible, most informed final product. I am also tossing around the droid factory in my head, but have no intention at all to reinstate the garage scene.

That’s alright. We all think your Star Wars work is fantastic and are contributing to help you make new versions/edits.

On a side note, if you were to include the garage scene, there is something that could be done that I believe only seciors has done. That is to put the scene in a different spot.

ATTACK OF THE CLONES:
[Anakin Brings Shmi Back]>[Garage Scene]>[Shmi’s Funeral]

SECIORS (ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC):
[Anakin Brings Shmi Back]>[Shmi’s Funeral]>[Garage Scene]

Thats an interesting idea, I have to watch it, to see how it works.
But one tiny little problem I see is that you would mess around with their costumes A LOT, but hey Padme is changing her dress all the time anyways.

That sounds like a nice little game 😉
I think to make this work, you would have to put the focus of each trilogy on one character and cut everything else.

The PT-part would obviously focus on Anakin. Any PT-edit should work as a basis. If you want something more drastically you could cut down ROTS to a condensed 40 minute-movie and ad glimpses of AOTC to the beginning (something similar to the prologue in Lord of the Rings).

The OT-part should be about Luke and have only one Deathstar (change the ANH design with the unfinished one from ROTJ). I would cut the whole opening of ANH (everything happening on the Tantive IV and in the desert), until we meet Luke for the first time. (hell, maybe start Lukes arc with him being attacked by the Tusken-Raiders. Then I would continue with the original story, until they escape the Deathstar and cut straight to the battle of Hoth (obviously Luke would not be a leader of the Renegade-squadron). Ben’s “Luke, trust the Force” moment could be reinserted in the escape from the Deathstar, when they were attacked by the Tie-Fighters. The scene in which Obi-Wan tells Luke to go to Dagobah could maybe placed during the Battle of Hoth, after Lukes speeder crashed.
After the Battle of Hoth Luke visits Yoda and the plot surrounding Han, Leia, Chewie and 3PO would be cut or heavily trimmed down to its essence (maybe keep the emperor-hologramm scene). The whole Han being put in carbonite, would be cut. I would use the Scene of Lando visiting the crew in their cell and change Lando’s dialogue (unsure how), to imply that he is offering to help them escape. Then the escape sequence would play out (imply that Han is to weak to fight, because of the torture). After they escaped Cloud City, Luke will get his new hand, visit Dagobah and build his new lightsaber (use the deleted scene and add some plants to the cave). After this ROTJ would continue as usual, but without most of the Ewok and space battle part.

The ST-part may be the most difficult to think about in terms of restructuring the plot, because TROS doesn’t exist yet. Depending on this movie, this part should focus on either Ben or Rey (or both, who knows). So just cut out everything that does not support the story of them in any way.

jarbear said:

As for the droid factory scene mentioned again, just watched it on youtube and I don’t see a way to even trim it to “make it work” it a believable and seamless way. Even if you took out all the 3PO moments, you have some brief shots of R2 at the door by himself that shows no path way or bridge from it … then he somehow gets to the controls later?

It’s too much of a mess. I do know what you mean about the transition with the inserted deleted scene with the “negotiation” scene. Not a strong scene, but it’s the only option.

I tackled the factory scene, by cutting 3PO out. He and R2 are discussing wether they should follow Anakin and Padme or stay on the ship, R2 is leaving, 3PO follows him to the outside trying to convince him to stay, but eventually says that he won’t follow him (I used audio from ANH). The next time we see R2 the door to the factory is already open and he boost his trusters to fly away and save Padme.

By the way, is it just me or symbolize 3PO and R2 Anakin and Padme in a way. R2 originally belonging to the queen and 3PO being built by Anakin, as well as 3PO being gifted with the “force” to speak, but mostly unable to connect with humans on a emotional level, opposed to R2, who is caring and dutiful.

P.S.: Sorry for the Off-Topic and picking your reply apart, jarbear.

jarbear said:

Keep that garage scene out. Simple. 😉

Thats always an option 😉 My problem is, I like it.

Hal 9000 said:

Peter Pan said:

Why not keep the whole garage scene, with the exception of Anakin saying that he killed the women and children?
This way you set up the plot for ROTS, keep Anakins conflict and regret about the slaughter and Padme doesn’t appear to be a hypocrite, because there is obviously a big difference between killing innocent children and the murderer of your mother.

He kills children in both instances. Neither are more or less innocent than the other, and Padme does not care in AOTC. There’s no way I’m reinstating that scene.

But if you remove his line “and not just the men, but the women and children too”, no one would know if he killed them nor if there were any women and children in this camp.

Why not keep the whole garage scene, with the exception of Anakin saying that he killed the women and children?
This way you set up the plot for ROTS, keep Anakins conflict and regret about the slaughter and Padme doesn’t appear to be a hypocrite, because there is obviously a big difference between killing innocent children and the murderer of your mother.

4throck said:

Peter Pan said:
Well I would not just cut Kamino, but change and reorder most of the first half of the movie.

Indeed, the movie has very little decent action on the first part (the city chase is poor).
So the fight on Kamino needs to stay. Perhaps move it to the beginning so that you have:
» Open with Obi-wan at Kamino
» Fight with Jango
» Coruscant with the usual Padme stuff
» Bar sequence, Obi-wan sees Jango again
» Obi-wan goes to Geonosis chasing Jango

Maybe we could change Windus line about this border dispute, from which Obi-Wan just returned, so that he refers to the fight we saw in the beginning.

RogueLeader said:

Hey Peter, I think we had a convo about this. Why not establish that the Clone army has been openly under construction for sometime, the dart leads them to Kamino, but what Kamino is isn’t a mystery. So Kenobi goes and acts like he is just coming for a review of the clones, and learns about the Jango, who matches the description of the bounty hunter he’s after.

You can add “I will create a Grand Army of the Republic…” line somewhere in TPM, maybe an edited version of that scene where we don’t have a close-up of Palpatine saying it (because of his appearance difference between Ep 1 and 2).

Maybe the opening crawl from Ep 2 could say that this thing Padmé is voting on is to approve for more clone units to be made, or possibly to give Palpatine emergency powers to counter the Separatist threat. Or maybe the vote is to approve for the clones to actually be deployed across the galaxy to defend the Republic. They’ve been building the army, but they haven’t left Kamino yet.

This way you won’t have to cut so much out of the movie.

Well I would not just cut Kamino, but change and reorder most of the first half of the movie.

Also I won’t cut all the scenes of Kamino, but try to reuse some of them.
The Scene of Obi-Wan telling Mace and Yoda will be reused. In my version a random, cloaked Jedi will tell them about his investigations on the traces leading to spice-miners on the moons of Naboo , that Mace mentioned in the first scene in Palpatines office.

And I will keep the space-battle over Geonosis. Obi-Wan will be ambushed by Jango, when he approaches Geonosis.
Palpatine/Darth Sidious will inform Jango about the investigations and command him to kill the Jedi.

Well, I am doing something similar by changing Dex voice and dialog, but I would like to redubb Obi-Wan asking Madame Jocasta, saying I’m looking for a planet system called Geonosis (instead of Kamino). The plot should work without Obi-Wan ever referring to Geonosis by name, but in my opinion it would be a bit jarring, if they were always talking about “a planet” or “a system” instead of simply calling it Geonosis.

Thanks to your replies, I’ll keep an open eye on McGregor-interviews and maybe watch the Geonosis arc from TCW again. Splicing together single syllables on the other hand is something way beyond my editing-“skills”, putting together sentences from different scenes is already difficult enough.

Hello there, at the moment I am trying to remove Kamino from AOTC, because it just raises questions that do not get answered in the movies (who ordered this massive army?) and in my opinion it is a major plot hole, that NOBODY is curious about the creation of the clones.

In order to achieve this, the toxic dart which let Obi-Wan to Kamino will be an Geonosian design instead (although the aesthetics do not match up). I will redub Dex with an alien language and ad subtitles to explain everything we need to know.

The problem I got is that Obi-Wan never says Geonosis (apart from the holo-message).
Does anybody know where to find a voice line of Obi-Wan saying ‘Geonosis’? Or has an idea on how to work around the problem in a better way than him constantly referring to ‘a planet’ or ‘a system’?

Thank you in advance. Have a nice day!

Sorry for the Delay.

Well, maybe this vote for the creation of a Grand Army of the Rpublic could be changed to a vote whether more Clones should be acquired or not (like in this Clone Wars episode about bank deregulation).

As you mentioned parts of the plot focussing on Obi-Wan would not fit anymore, but I think the main structur could remain.

Currently I am more worried about how to integrate the creation of the army into episode 1, idealy together with the Separatist and Count Dooku.
For this purpose I took the sceen with the Senetors in Palpatines office listening to Obi-Wans discoveries on Geonosis and “replaced“ Obi with the hologramm of Sio Bibble, telling them about the invasion (showing that they were thinking about an army at this time).
In Episode 2 this sceen wouldn‘t be needed anyway, because the army already exist (no need to persuade Jar Jar to give a Speech in the Senate) and a simple call between Anakin and maybe Windu would be enough to inform them about the droid army.

Back to episode 1: Maybe Palpatine could promise an army, if he gets elected?

Anyways thanks for linking these Threads RogueLeader and oojason.

One of the biggest flaws of the whole saga is in my opinion the way the clone army is discovered coincidentally by the jedi and them not questioning its creation.
They are facing the threat of war and don’t question the secret creation of an army and how could Palpatines plan to subjugate the galaxy include coincidences.

Well the idea that I had to resolve this mistakes is to change the plot of episode II (and maybe episode I) so that it resembles the July Crisis, which started World War I.

There are already some similarities between episode II and the July Crisis, like an assassination attempt on a prince/senator (former queen) or a political tension of alliances falling apart/the Separatist leaving the Republic as a circumstances leading to the crisis and eventually World War I/the Clone Wars.

The creation of the clone army could be moved to episode I, as a reaction to the crisis on Naboo and to mimic the arming the German Empire did in the early 20th Century. It would also imply that nobody was expecting the Clone Wars, but something like another Battle of Naboo (like nobody was expecting World War I, but another Balkan War).

Star Wars is one of the greatest stories of our time, combining a good movie with an intriguing, thrilling story, good action and believable characters and great ideas and lessons for life, that evolve throughout the saga, providing a great metaphorical, symbolic read of this events a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

Unsuprisingly we find mistakes in these movies, that are trying to include all these details and ideas. And the more we think about them, the more flaws we get.

But to erase these flaws and plot holes, isn’t it the main purpose of fan edits?

And the best way to start doing so should be a list containing these flaws and ideas on how to fix them.

With Palpatines return (doesnt matter which way) Kylos line about finishing what Vader started got me thinking.
Vaders last act was killing Palpatine physically, but his being survived.
Could the line refer to Ben ultimately defeating Palpatines ghost?

LILIAN02230 said:

I have an idea to use Nute Gunray who wants to assassinate Padme by recruiting a bounty hunter, the beginning of the film will start as AOTC, at some point in act 2 when Padme and Anakin leave Naboo to go to Tatooine I plan to insert the invasion of Naboo by the separatist alliance there.
…

I am currently working on a similar fan edit.

And I believe that a good way to connect the two movies would be a plot by the Trade Federation that intends the attack on Palme to fail, to force her to go to Naboo into hiding, so the Trade Federation can take her hostage.