Here’s a different take on the Bail’s apartment scene with dialogue from The Force Unleashed:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sPI80MXqw8pO1wm34C0mLx2jCck-EUk8/view?usp=sharing
It’s far from perfect, but there is potential I think.
Wait, so the Trade Federation is funding both sides of the war? Why would they even use such different armies? I’d expect them to just both use battle droids at that point.
No, the trade federation intended to replace their battledroids with clones but the republic got wind of this and payed the Kaminoans double to get the clone army. At least that’s the idea.
Lets bring up one of my favorite problems: the clones. And more specifically the mystery surrounding them and how everyone buys the story of Sifo-Dyas without question.
So here’s a question: What if the clones where never ordered for the Republic, but by some fraction involved with the separatist, for example the Trade Federation?
That way no-one needs to question the clones’ existence as we were handed a sensibly cover up story and only Obi-Wan finding them by accident remains a plot conveniency.
Now the core problem with that is why would they end up fighting for the Republic. And the easy answer would be money. Simply subtitle this alien senator that Bail is arguing with, to say something along the lines of paying the Kaminoans double. This change would even be set up by Dexter in the Diner scene:
Obi-Wan: “Depends on what Dex?”
Dex: “On how well your manners are, and how big your pocketbook is.”
Now everything that remains is to cut the prime minister mentioning the Republic and altering Obi-Wan’s holochat with Yoda and Mace to “…at the request of the Trade Federation…”, he mentions them in the message he sent from Geonosis.
On top of that we could subtitle Poggle to condemn the Kaminoans for their betrayal and change Dooku’s line about the Trade Federation’s “battledroids” being combined with the separatists’ to “forces”. He says force at least once during his battle with Yoda.
This change would even justify Lama Su’s line about the clones being superior to droids better than in the theatrical cut, because originally this line only makes sense after the clone wars ensued.
With this change it would be a call back to Episode I, where we saw the droids fail the Trade Federation.
Interesting. Did it just conveniently sync up with her saying, “No you’re not, you-“ or whatever?
Yes it did.
At that point, I wonder why you couldn’t just insert that line into the theatrical version of the film.
I was toying around with Sade’s edit anyway, so I left it at that, but you could easily use the thatrical footage.
Although you would loose Han’s priceless reaction on 3PO 😉
Based on Sade’s edit I tried to do exactly that:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PMXITJGUkrks2ygyG1Ce0YokYUIjOFrX/view?usp=sharing
P.S.: Han’s look after the kiss turned out to be a snip of unintentional comedy, so I left it.
Anything that makes that whole scene consensual is a massive value add as far as I’m concerned.
But does it really do that? I agree with the statement, that anything that makes this scene consensual is an improvement, yet I don’t see how this extra line fixes this issue.
See originally the scene reads to me like this:
-Leia is fixing the falcon and Han comes in
-Han tries to help, Leia says No
-Han becomes pushy, Leia says No, No, No, No
KISS
-3PO enters the chat
With the line in question it reads more like this:
-Leia is fixing the falcon and Han comes in
-Han tries to help, Leia says No
-han becomes pushy, Leia says No, No, No, No
KISS
-Leia says: “Alright Hotshot” by saying no I actually meant yes
-3PO enters the chat
See what I mean? Maybe it would help better to implement that line before they kiss? But I don’t really know how much it would help, if that’s even possible.
Anyways, as usual, I would enjoy to hear your voice on this and whether you agree with my reading of the scene or why you don’t.
Have a nice weekend.
So just finished your prequel edit and wanted to share my thoughts.
First things first I liked the title cards to the planets, helped tie everything together.
Now on to the AOTC part, in my opinion it’s a little to fast paced, in particular the romance could use another scene before the kiss by the lake. And you could add a glimps of the Anakin-Dooku fight to the Clone Wars montage for continuities sake. Apart from that I would shorten the speeder chase. (In my opinion it goes on for too long, but that’s a problem of the theatrical)
Now on to ROTS, I basically liked it all. Only the shift into the movie sticks out a little, but there is not much to do about that. Maybe you could add the deleted “plot against the Jedi” scene to the AOTC part if you crop Obi-Wan out or use bits of the dialogue for the hallway scene in AOTC. (the one that most editors cut lol)
Another option might be to add padmé’s side plot, lines like “we cannot let this turn into another war” fit her stance on the army in AOTC almost perfectly.
These are just some quick thoughts, but a side plot, that continues through to ROTS would tie the narrative a bit more together.
That’s basically all I got to say, I sincerely enjoyed your first entry and am looking forward to the second.
EDIT:
I watched Abridged II and I liked it better than your prequel edit, especially the shifts between the movies felt more natural than with them. Nice work.
I’m intrigued, both Abridged I and II sound interesting, could I have a link please.
Hello, I’m Victor,
last year I graduated from school and started studying math, which is fun at times, but took some time getting used to.
Because of the pandemic I study from home and haven’t even been to my doctor unviversity yet 😄
And honestly I don’t mind as I’m rather uncomfortable around people and don’t like traveling with the bus or train, when I’m on my own. Apart from that the pandemic actually impacted my life in a rather beautiful way. Let me explain. Because of COVID our last term was cut short and because of that my group of friends started a WhatsApp group to stay in touch and this was actually the first time I started sharing my WhatsApp (because I was stupid to not do this before and wanted to be “edgy”, idk).
And for a short period of time (till the lockdown hit) I started meeting my friends outside school, which was nice for a change.
Now for what I like to do offline: I like Movies, but TV shows not so much.
I like to play board games, I like sports (although I haven’t got the slightest bit of talent for anything and can only run), skying in particular, as this is something I am actually a little talented. (very slightly talented 😄) Generally I like to think about thinks, anything really and how to change things and what possibilities there are, but am rather unenthusiastic about actually following through with my plans.
For example I love Skyrim and enjoy thinking about how to mod the game and build a certain character, but I don’t actually play the game that much.
That actually one of my biggest weaknesses I think, I am prone to make up my mind beforehand and lose any interest in doing whatever is in question, out of a lack of curiosity or a fear that it might not meet my expectations. Another big weakness of mine is that I am bad at communicating, I oftentimes am really fast to understand where somebodies mind is at, especially with my father. On a regular basis I know exactly what he wants to say before he even opens his mouth.
But I am getting off track.
I like music and play a little piano. (badly, idk I always become real tense and crampy and play faster than I intend, until my wrist ache, is it just me or does that sound wrong…)
Apart from some exceptions I don’t really like video games, might have to do with me being stingy when it comes to video games. I am rather stingy in general, I don’t often buy stuff. I like it when people talk with me instead of talking at me, because otherwise most talks die quick, ups.
Oh, I like to sleep in and stay up late and be alone in the kitchen. That’s what I am doing right now 😛 I like how everything is calm and quite then, makes me think and forget about time.
Well that is me, I think.
I might have forgot about some things, maybe I’ll add them in the future, till then don’t forget to eat, future me 😛
Its interesting that I did not know of this deleted scene, but I don’t think that it would serve the purpose here. Even worse I think it would support Han’s behavior, because it would instantly confirm that Han was right to ignore Leia’s attempt to block him off. In the original scene its open ended, Leia immediately leaves after the kiss and Han is left anxious whether he ruined everything.
Maybe there is a way to remove some of Leia’s attempt to block Han off, so that he pushes her less. but I don’t know how to achieve that.
Another idea might be to have 3PO bust them earlier, cutting the actual kiss and signalize that Han went to far. But this would require a lot more work to pull off as none of Han and Leia’s following interactions support this in any way. Lines like “…, scoundrel, you’d like him” or “I Know” come to mind.
The idea to have Han mess it up and Leia rejecting him afterwards until he pulls himself together intrigues me. But it would require a scene were Han apologizes. Maybe he does so after Leia helps him get up after the stormtroopers throw him into the cell. In addition to that Han could say “I love you” and Leia respond with “I know”. Its actually weird that he doesn’t say it, considering that he might very well be dead in a minute.
On another note I would definitely cut Han holding Leia on his lap.
Other than that there might be some bits and pieces to their constant bickering in the first act that could be cut, but don’t really need to as Han is not really pushing any boundaries, but just asking for a slap in the face (lucky for him that he was only captain, otherwise he might run a risk of being demoted 😛).
I don’t really know where to put my question, so I decided to drop it in here.
Does somebody know of a fan edit of ESB that does a decent job at removing Han’s predatorily behavior towards Leia?
And if not and if somebody has ideas to work around this issue with their romance, I would love to hear and discuss them, because its something I thought of sometimes without getting anywhere really.
Is anybody familiar with moving audio lines to the side while still keeping the music intact? I’m trying to remove Rey grabbing the books in the middle of the Resistance meeting discussing Palpatine’s message for the following reasons:
- Rey’s lightsaber is seen prominently on her even though she just gave it to Leia.
- The Jedi texts were left by Rey on a crate, but when she returns to them they are suddenly in the box.
- A line plays in the background that is contradictory to the original trilogy. It suggests that the galaxy always knew about Palpatine’s Force abilities.
Any help would be appreciated in this endeavor. If we can get this working right I think Hal would be more interested in it.
I don’t doubt it’d be doable, that’s not the issue. The first thing to try would be to edit out the portions of relevant audio from the channels in which it appears, then cover that with stuff from other channels. Sometimes you can get more mileage out of adding audio from multiple other channels to avoid a direct repeat of just one channel.
I am not an expert by any stretch of my imagination, but I would try to find out which music was used for this scene and use it to replace the audio you cut. Especially when it comes to Star Wars there’s no track you can’t find.
Except this scene, where the track is unreleased (there’s actually quite a few tracks you can’t find from TROS).
Ah shoot, that’s tricky
Is anybody familiar with moving audio lines to the side while still keeping the music intact? I’m trying to remove Rey grabbing the books in the middle of the Resistance meeting discussing Palpatine’s message for the following reasons:
- Rey’s lightsaber is seen prominently on her even though she just gave it to Leia.
- The Jedi texts were left by Rey on a crate, but when she returns to them they are suddenly in the box.
- A line plays in the background that is contradictory to the original trilogy. It suggests that the galaxy always knew about Palpatine’s Force abilities.
Any help would be appreciated in this endeavor. If we can get this working right I think Hal would be more interested in it.
I don’t doubt it’d be doable, that’s not the issue. The first thing to try would be to edit out the portions of relevant audio from the channels in which it appears, then cover that with stuff from other channels. Sometimes you can get more mileage out of adding audio from multiple other channels to avoid a direct repeat of just one channel.
I am not an expert by any stretch of my imagination, but I would try to find out which music was used for this scene and use it to replace the audio you cut. Especially when it comes to Star Wars there’s no track you can’t find.
Could I get a link as well, please.
You did not disappoint a bit, I liked it a lot.
Only some of the giggles in the opening space fight felt weird, because they were coming from off-screen, a bit sitcom-esque. But otherwise I really enjoyed the experience. 😃
So I was listening to some old playlists of mine and came up with a little list of suggestions:
1.“Dare” by Stan Bush for Anakin blowing up the droid control ship
2.“Numb” by Linking Park for the duel between Anakin, Obi-Wan and Dooku in ROTS
3.“One” by Metallica for Vaders transformation
4.“Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen for Luke facing down the FO walkers
And another two that I am not sure whether they could work:
+“Saturday Night’s alright for Fighting” by Elton John for Han and Chewie chasing storm troopers on the DS in ANH
+“Zombie” by the Cranberries for the Attack on Maz’s castle
Could I get a link as well?
Me after saying V7 would be the absolute final version of my prequel projects…
Haha, that’s exactly the reason why I tend to delete my editing projects once their “finished”.
I failed my Analysis Exam because I accidentally uploaded just the front page and now I have to write this damn thing again and now I’m pissed with myself, but also weirdly amused.
Funny how his evil twin is a multi-million dollar football manager (or soccer for our fellow american comrades 😉)
I mean the sequence after Mace and the others head off to capture Palpatine.
In my head the music would start after the shuttle takes off, continue throughout Anakin and Padmé’s long stare and lead us into the fight with Palpatine.
Edit: Regarding the length: Maybe scratch the duel, might be better this way in general, because I don’t know how well the music would mash with the “I am the Senat, da, da, da” (which I had forgot about, I thought the duel was already spinning at this point, ups)
If you’re still on this very cool project, here’s another suggestion for ROTS:
Elton John’s “The King Must Die” for Padme’s rumination and the following lightsaber fight.
Keep up the good work, I’ll keep an eye out
Recently I ran once again across Emanswfan’s idea to restructure AOTC and start with the arena sequence.
And I picked up on it and build my own restructure around, which I’d like to share with you.
STAR WARS
Episode II
THE GREAT DIVIDE
10 peaceful years have past
since the crisis on Naboo, but
the peace grew frail and the
Jedi’s watch was dimmed by the
rising shadow of the Sith.
Albeit the sincere government
of Chancellor Palpatine and
the devoted service of newly
elected Senator of Naboo the
Republic began to split, due
to the challenge of Count Dooku.
The newly assembled Separatist
movement lead by the war hero
and former Jedi Master gathered
on Geonosis far out of reach of
the Republic, but not unknown
to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi…
-pan down; a starfighter approaches Geonosis; Obi-Wan investigates the droid factory and catches on to Gunray scheming to assassinate Amidala; meanwhile his ship is discovered and he gets captured
-Obi-wan is interrogated by Dooku while Padmé and Anakin arrive (minus 3PO) and are captured; Dooku interrogates Padmé and both her and Ani are sentenced to death
-the two of them share their feelings for one another, but are interrupted; the arena sequence (minus Jangos death and the 3PO stuff)
-Republic Troops arrive; Dooku flees and the trio catches on to him; as Anakin and Obi-Wan arrive at the hangar, Dooku takes off
-Padmé addresses the Senat (minus assassination attempt talk); Palpatine office, Palpatine ask the Jedi to protect the senator from Gunray
-Elevator scene and reunion cut short; no creepy ani stuff; the speeder chase
-Anakins new assignment; Dex’s Diner; Padmé packing; Younglings; departure from Coruscant; landing platform scene
-Arrival on Naboo; Padmé Parents house; Space battle over Kamino (color graded Geonosis asteroid chase); Picnic scene; meeting the prime minister; “I don’t like sand” (but without the line 😛)
-Inspecting the clones (the army was ordered for the trade federation, only mentioned by Obi-Wan later)
-Fireplace scene; Nightmare scene; meeting Jango; meeting Watto; Fight in the rain; the Lars homestead, search for Shmi; Obi-Wans message (sent from Kamino); Shmi’s death; Garage scene; funeral
-Message from Obi-Wan (he tracked down Jango to Geonosis and the clones were meant for the trade federation); Padmé and Ani leave for Coruscant; Separatist Meeting on Geonosis; Emergency powers for Palpy; Obi-Wan reports to Yoda and Mace, while their on their way
-Attack on Geonosis; Anakin and Obi-Wan surprise Dooku at the hangar; Ending scenes
I hope this hasn’t become to much of a cryptic crossword and that I managed to convey the broad structural changes I imagined.
Have a nice day 😄
^This
In addition a similar ad could play on Anakin’s Nintendo thingy.
What do you think of placing the asteroid chase in AOTC before Obi-Wan lands on Kamino.
This would add some lacking tension to Obi-Wan’s detective plot and give the viewer some questions to chew on, like: “Who’s behind the ambush?”, “Was Obi-Wan the intended target?”, “Why were the Kaminoans expecting him?”, “Did they put up the trap?”, “Did they expect someone else?”, etc.
But the real difficulty might be recoloring Geonosis and only Geonosis, that’s what I was struggling with 😛
