Peter Pan

Stardust1138 said:

Cadavra said:

I’m sure making Sifo-Dyas a Sith apprentice was one of George’s ideas at one point, but both the original EU and Clone Wars season 6 (which was technically released under Disney but written with George’s direct involvement) officially established him as a well-intentioned Jedi whose drastic actions were discovered and exploited by Sidious, who eventually ordered Dooku to have him killed.

Definitely an intriguing idea for a fanedit linking the trilogies, though.

I honestly think there was more to the story than just what was established in Clone Wars. I’m reminded of this retrospect. Dave Filoni really implied there was more going on.

https://youtu.be/KGBdRW7jjUk

My theory is Sifo-Dyas and Dooku were both secretly trained by Palpatine at the same time. They were both challenging each other for who would lead the Separatist Movement. However once Sifo-Dyas no longer served a purpose Palpatine had Sifo-Dyas killed as he fulfilled his requirement of ordering the army and the trace of Sith’s involvement was lost due to the illusion it was a Jedi who set things into motion. So sort of what you’re saying but with the added layer of what George talked about.

I think this has a lot of potential and could be incorporated into a fan edit of TPM by changing Sidious Hologram to Sifo-Dyas (played and voiced by a new actor).

Sure Sifo Dyas isn’t a mayor character in the Story. But that’s precisely why I see potential to implement him into TPM. We don’t know exactly how he looks and speaks. Yet if we change the Hologram there would be plenty of scenes to utilize to change the story substantially.
I think there is some massive potential not just to alter TPM but AOTC as well and help connecting the two better.

So here’s what I’m thinking:
For TPM:
-have sifo dyas as the link between Sidious and the Trade Federation; maybe he could make some remark about a clone army much like Kylie did in TFA

-Qui-Gon is friends with Sifo Dyas and senses something off, once he sets foot on the trade federations ship (much like Vader senses obi-wans presence in ANH)
-when Qui-Gon meditates in the final duel with Maul show how he realizes that it was Sifo Dyas he sensed on the ship and that he was involved with the trade federation. Now when he dies this information is lost.

Now AOTC:
-Instead of the clone army being made for the republic change its customer to be the trade federation, who want to replace their droids which failed them on Naboo. This would also explain why Kamino was deleted from the Jedi archives.

-after Obi-Wan’s discovery on Kamino the Republic decides to pay the Kaminoans tripple (it’s set up by dexster’s description of them that their loyalties lie with the money only)

-change poggle’s subtitles to express the betrayal the separatist experience after the clones enter the battle on geonosis.

These simple changes would do three things: 1.add a character driven subplot to TPM that is set up in the opening and resolved in the end.
2. Connect TPM and AOTC
3. Remove the mystery surrounding Sifo Dyas and do away with the problem that nobody seems to be suspicious of an army that was secretly made for the republic and ordered well before any mayor conflict was on the horizon.
This literally has „evil twist“ written all over it.
Now it seems that the republic was able to snatch this army from their adversaries and nobody could suspect that this was part of a greater scheme.

Thats another thing, because sifo Dyas sounds just like sidious, there might be some options to make Dooku mention him.

I wonder if you could add Sifo Dyas to TPM by tweaking sidious’ holograms and keep only his scene with Maul on coruscant as a cameo.

The tricky thing might be to write and record Sifo Dyas new dialogue so that it is evident that he is merely the messenger and not the real mastermind.
Other than that there could be some opportunities to hint at his real identity, for example it could be him that warns Gunray that the ambassadors are Jedi knights or he could propose to buy a better army.
Cough, cough, clones or something, cough, cough.

Rewatched Spaced again and it still amazes me how good this series is. 10/10 Masterpiece.

Maybe you could imply that it’s the force that guides him out of the desert on Jakku? Maybe add a distant call from Rey or anybody to when he wakes up and looks around? You could then follow that up with a close up of him closing his eyes and focusing on the force or something.

Could I get a link please? Some of the changes you described sound simply genius, I’d love to see how they work in action.

Well I don’t see a way to move Order 66 to AOTC but you could add a time jump to ROTS. Or stretch the timespan between Anakins turn + Order 66 and the final duel to maybe a week and make a scene or montage of him fighting some Jedi. The slaughter of the separatist should work as a template, maybe add some lightsabers to some of them and you should be good to go.

Now for the structural change.
The seeds of Rebellion plot line would fit perfectly to bridge the time gap and maybe show how things changed, especially the final scene with Anakin and Padme on opposing sites would be great in this context. (though Palpatine would need a deepfake to get his wrinkly face)

After the senators realized that the won’t achieve anything in the senate, some of them leave with Bail, who made contact with Obi-Wan and Yoda.

The two of them were lead to a small Jedi Temple on some outer rim world, because of a beacon sent by a surviving Jedi. But upon their arrival they find all Jedi to be dead and see a recording of Anakin killing them. Afterwards they change the beacon and contact Organa.

after that they meet up with him on Mustafar where the senators have met in secret. And Palpatine dispatches Vader to sniff out this “rebellion”. But after he arrives he meets Padme and Obi-Wan and the fight ensues.

Something like that should be feasible, what do you think?

P.S.:
By the way, I just realized how stupid the original trap to lure in rouge Jedi was.
I mean sure, ask them to come home and lower their guard after publicly declaring your intention to annihilate them. 10/10, just perfect

Is there any edit of TPM that removes the Queen twist? The principle of an elected underage monarch feels weird anyways. I only wonder what changes to the third act would be necessary. Maybe the Queen could send Padme and the Jedi in secret, while staying on coruscant in an attempt to get the republic to help? Maybe the queen disgruntles the Gungans due to being prejudiced and Padme jumps in to negotiate?
No matter how the finale plays out there would be the huge possibility to rewrite and rerecord the queens dialogue as she would be a different character now. Maybe even age her up. Heck make her ancient and go full Princess Dragomiroff style.

Her headdress looks nabooan already.

Anyway I am getting off track. Has anybody here tried to remove the queen twist? And apart from that what are your thoughts on this?

There are a lot of free editing programs or lite versions, that are worth looking into. For example I am using DaVinci Resolve for color grading, although I have iMovie, because DaVinci is just better, although it is free.

The more I think about it, I might be the kid from “the sixth sense”. Everybody I know is dead inside…

SparkySywer said:

Artan42 said:

A chancellor with unchecked power altering the constitution whenever he wants to stay in power forever? Yeah, no government has ever worked like that.

Can you truly call that a working government?

Counterquestion: Is the Republic in ROTS a working government?

This whole scenario in this movie reminds me of the dying days of the Weimar Republic. During that time the parliament had little power and the chancellor was ruling with emergency powers authorized by the president, until he had enough and appointed a new chancellor.

This sounds almost exactly like the Chancellor appointing governors to bypass the senate in ROTS.

Now after Hindenburg died, Hitler took over and was now chancellor AND president. And it took only a few months until he had crippled the constitution to a point, that it barely deserved the name. He arrested many political enemies and suspended a number of articles and thus abolished all personal rights. After that the parliament had to surrender their legislative power to him, it’s important to point out that armed forces were present when the law was passed.

There you have your amendments to the constitution. With that in mind it’s really not that much of a silly line, but more of an expression of what state the Republic is in.

Anakin Starkiller said:

Oh great, more Binary Sunset. I’m guessing we don’t have the isolated audio?

Nope.

JackNapier said:

Is it incest or masturbation if you have sex with a clone of yourself?

Funny how the thought matches your signature😂

Here’s a different take on the Bail’s apartment scene with dialogue from The Force Unleashed:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sPI80MXqw8pO1wm34C0mLx2jCck-EUk8/view?usp=sharing

It’s far from perfect, but there is potential I think.

Anakin Starkiller said:

Wait, so the Trade Federation is funding both sides of the war? Why would they even use such different armies? I’d expect them to just both use battle droids at that point.

No, the trade federation intended to replace their battledroids with clones but the republic got wind of this and payed the Kaminoans double to get the clone army. At least that’s the idea.

Lets bring up one of my favorite problems: the clones. And more specifically the mystery surrounding them and how everyone buys the story of Sifo-Dyas without question.

So here’s a question: What if the clones where never ordered for the Republic, but by some fraction involved with the separatist, for example the Trade Federation?
That way no-one needs to question the clones’ existence as we were handed a sensibly cover up story and only Obi-Wan finding them by accident remains a plot conveniency.

Now the core problem with that is why would they end up fighting for the Republic. And the easy answer would be money. Simply subtitle this alien senator that Bail is arguing with, to say something along the lines of paying the Kaminoans double. This change would even be set up by Dexter in the Diner scene:

Obi-Wan: “Depends on what Dex?”
Dex: “On how well your manners are, and how big your pocketbook is.”

Now everything that remains is to cut the prime minister mentioning the Republic and altering Obi-Wan’s holochat with Yoda and Mace to “…at the request of the Trade Federation…”, he mentions them in the message he sent from Geonosis.
On top of that we could subtitle Poggle to condemn the Kaminoans for their betrayal and change Dooku’s line about the Trade Federation’s “battledroids” being combined with the separatists’ to “forces”. He says force at least once during his battle with Yoda.

This change would even justify Lama Su’s line about the clones being superior to droids better than in the theatrical cut, because originally this line only makes sense after the clone wars ensued.
With this change it would be a call back to Episode I, where we saw the droids fail the Trade Federation.

RogueLeader said:

Interesting. Did it just conveniently sync up with her saying, “No you’re not, you-“ or whatever?

Yes it did.

At that point, I wonder why you couldn’t just insert that line into the theatrical version of the film.

I was toying around with Sade’s edit anyway, so I left it at that, but you could easily use the thatrical footage.

Although you would loose Han’s priceless reaction on 3PO 😉

Based on Sade’s edit I tried to do exactly that:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PMXITJGUkrks2ygyG1Ce0YokYUIjOFrX/view?usp=sharing

P.S.: Han’s look after the kiss turned out to be a snip of unintentional comedy, so I left it.

EddieDean said:

Anything that makes that whole scene consensual is a massive value add as far as I’m concerned.

But does it really do that? I agree with the statement, that anything that makes this scene consensual is an improvement, yet I don’t see how this extra line fixes this issue.

See originally the scene reads to me like this:
-Leia is fixing the falcon and Han comes in
-Han tries to help, Leia says No
-Han becomes pushy, Leia says No, No, No, No
KISS
-3PO enters the chat

With the line in question it reads more like this:
-Leia is fixing the falcon and Han comes in
-Han tries to help, Leia says No
-han becomes pushy, Leia says No, No, No, No
KISS
-Leia says: “Alright Hotshot” by saying no I actually meant yes
-3PO enters the chat

See what I mean? Maybe it would help better to implement that line before they kiss? But I don’t really know how much it would help, if that’s even possible.
Anyways, as usual, I would enjoy to hear your voice on this and whether you agree with my reading of the scene or why you don’t.
Have a nice weekend.

So just finished your prequel edit and wanted to share my thoughts.
First things first I liked the title cards to the planets, helped tie everything together.
Now on to the AOTC part, in my opinion it’s a little to fast paced, in particular the romance could use another scene before the kiss by the lake. And you could add a glimps of the Anakin-Dooku fight to the Clone Wars montage for continuities sake. Apart from that I would shorten the speeder chase. (In my opinion it goes on for too long, but that’s a problem of the theatrical)

Now on to ROTS, I basically liked it all. Only the shift into the movie sticks out a little, but there is not much to do about that. Maybe you could add the deleted “plot against the Jedi” scene to the AOTC part if you crop Obi-Wan out or use bits of the dialogue for the hallway scene in AOTC. (the one that most editors cut lol)
Another option might be to add padmé’s side plot, lines like “we cannot let this turn into another war” fit her stance on the army in AOTC almost perfectly.
These are just some quick thoughts, but a side plot, that continues through to ROTS would tie the narrative a bit more together.

That’s basically all I got to say, I sincerely enjoyed your first entry and am looking forward to the second.

EDIT:
I watched Abridged II and I liked it better than your prequel edit, especially the shifts between the movies felt more natural than with them. Nice work.

I’m intrigued, both Abridged I and II sound interesting, could I have a link please.

Hello, I’m Victor,

last year I graduated from school and started studying math, which is fun at times, but took some time getting used to.
Because of the pandemic I study from home and haven’t even been to my doctor unviversity yet 😄
And honestly I don’t mind as I’m rather uncomfortable around people and don’t like traveling with the bus or train, when I’m on my own. Apart from that the pandemic actually impacted my life in a rather beautiful way. Let me explain. Because of COVID our last term was cut short and because of that my group of friends started a WhatsApp group to stay in touch and this was actually the first time I started sharing my WhatsApp (because I was stupid to not do this before and wanted to be “edgy”, idk).
And for a short period of time (till the lockdown hit) I started meeting my friends outside school, which was nice for a change.
Now for what I like to do offline: I like Movies, but TV shows not so much.
I like to play board games, I like sports (although I haven’t got the slightest bit of talent for anything and can only run), skying in particular, as this is something I am actually a little talented. (very slightly talented 😄) Generally I like to think about thinks, anything really and how to change things and what possibilities there are, but am rather unenthusiastic about actually following through with my plans.
For example I love Skyrim and enjoy thinking about how to mod the game and build a certain character, but I don’t actually play the game that much.
That actually one of my biggest weaknesses I think, I am prone to make up my mind beforehand and lose any interest in doing whatever is in question, out of a lack of curiosity or a fear that it might not meet my expectations. Another big weakness of mine is that I am bad at communicating, I oftentimes am really fast to understand where somebodies mind is at, especially with my father. On a regular basis I know exactly what he wants to say before he even opens his mouth.
But I am getting off track.
I like music and play a little piano. (badly, idk I always become real tense and crampy and play faster than I intend, until my wrist ache, is it just me or does that sound wrong…)
Apart from some exceptions I don’t really like video games, might have to do with me being stingy when it comes to video games. I am rather stingy in general, I don’t often buy stuff. I like it when people talk with me instead of talking at me, because otherwise most talks die quick, ups.
Oh, I like to sleep in and stay up late and be alone in the kitchen. That’s what I am doing right now 😛 I like how everything is calm and quite then, makes me think and forget about time.

Well that is me, I think.
I might have forgot about some things, maybe I’ll add them in the future, till then don’t forget to eat, future me 😛

Its interesting that I did not know of this deleted scene, but I don’t think that it would serve the purpose here. Even worse I think it would support Han’s behavior, because it would instantly confirm that Han was right to ignore Leia’s attempt to block him off. In the original scene its open ended, Leia immediately leaves after the kiss and Han is left anxious whether he ruined everything.

Maybe there is a way to remove some of Leia’s attempt to block Han off, so that he pushes her less. but I don’t know how to achieve that.
Another idea might be to have 3PO bust them earlier, cutting the actual kiss and signalize that Han went to far. But this would require a lot more work to pull off as none of Han and Leia’s following interactions support this in any way. Lines like “…, scoundrel, you’d like him” or “I Know” come to mind.

The idea to have Han mess it up and Leia rejecting him afterwards until he pulls himself together intrigues me. But it would require a scene were Han apologizes. Maybe he does so after Leia helps him get up after the stormtroopers throw him into the cell. In addition to that Han could say “I love you” and Leia respond with “I know”. Its actually weird that he doesn’t say it, considering that he might very well be dead in a minute.

On another note I would definitely cut Han holding Leia on his lap.

Other than that there might be some bits and pieces to their constant bickering in the first act that could be cut, but don’t really need to as Han is not really pushing any boundaries, but just asking for a slap in the face (lucky for him that he was only captain, otherwise he might run a risk of being demoted 😛).

I don’t really know where to put my question, so I decided to drop it in here.
Does somebody know of a fan edit of ESB that does a decent job at removing Han’s predatorily behavior towards Leia?
And if not and if somebody has ideas to work around this issue with their romance, I would love to hear and discuss them, because its something I thought of sometimes without getting anywhere really.